Haha loving the story so far!
I hope we get to meet Professor Berry soon! I like the sound of him :P Report Review
Ooh, just discovered this story and it's wonderfully amusing! Hilariously funny, incredibly well-written and the promise of a fun plot. Looking forward to more! Thanks :D Report Review
I love this story!
:) Report Review
THIS IS SO GOOD. god i'm hating natalia already. there's always a cow like that, isn't there? hm. anyway, i'm really enjoying reading this, and the banner is incredible. update soon! :3 Report Review
really interesting so far!! Can't wait to see how the story develops from here! Update soon!!! Report Review
Please update soon! Please!! Report Review
I actually really enjoyed this a whole lot more than I thought I would; it's funny (I laughed A LOT), well written (for the most part, just a few grammatical errors) and very arresting. I'm thinking I'm going to enjoy it a lot
9/10 ~ Alice x Report Review
WHAT I AM GETTING VERY APPREHENSIVE ABOUT NATALIA.
I like how Amelia doesn’t worship at the feet of the Potters, but doesn’t really hate them either. It’s a normal reaction, and most people would have their characters on one side or the other--it’s very non-cliche for her to be somewhat neutral.
I especially liked your characterization in this chapter. I often see Albus as funny/loud/player/young-and-confused. It’s a nice break to see him with a different but very sensible characterization that reminds me a lot of Harry. Amelia having flaws (aka sucking at Quidditch) was good to see also.
FAVORITE QUOTES TIME! I have two. (Gettin a little crazy here...)
“I was probably the thorn in the eye of our ancestors (ahem, more like the loose nail in their coffin) long before Scorpius.” It’s such blatant NOT-CARING-ABOUT-HAVING-PUREBLOOD-ANCESTRY on Amelia’s part.
“If it was true love indeed, I declare it unhealthy, illogical and frankly a bit moronic.” Nothing I can really say about this except it’s splendid.
Lovelovelove! :) Report Review
I love the start to this story! Amelia and Scorpius seem like quite the quirky pair of cousins, which is cool because, I mean, who doesn’t like quirkiness? (Boring people, that’s who.)
At the beginning you had some good suspense there! You were all like I’LL REVEAL A STRANGE PLAN AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER and I was like *drool*.
Plus, you had nice background-y stuff about her Mum and her, which was a good way to slip in some characterization. One suggestion I’m going to make (you don’t have to follow this, it’s just my preference) is to, instead of saying “Scorpius wasn’t what you call a quiet person,” reveal his loudness through his actions. Let the reader get a feel for the character instead of informing the reader about him or her.
I love how Scorpius and Amelia know each other so well :)
Great first chapter!! :D Report Review
The last pack of Bertie Bott’s was almost finished when I noticed Pippa get that “I have some raunchy news to tell you” look at her face.
= BEST QUOTE EVER! NO kidding, this is fab! So fab,,, i may have to favourite this! :) Report Review
Oh this is epic.. I have to read the next chapter! LOVE IT SO MUCH! The best bit is about 'being scarred for life'... fell of my chair!
PS- i love your banner... its so amazing!
PPS-10 Report Review
I love this! It's really funny, and this is such a great opening that is really well written =). I also lovelovelove next-gen, so that's a great bonus!
The plot has a great beginning, and I can't wait to see what happens! (I will be reading the next chapter!) =). Report Review
Sooo I just want to say that this is one of the best voices (?) I've ever read on hpff. It's not over the top sassy/sarcastic and comes off as really genuine. So ya. I have a feeling me and this story are really going to get along ;). Update quickly mah dear.Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! The part about the voice means a lot to me since I aimed not to make Amelia one of those annoying super-sarcastic heroines. They are quite fun to read actually, but there's been so many of them that it's getting old. I am glad you like the story and I am hoping to finish ch3 soon. :) Report Review
please update soon ! great story so far :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! :D I'll definitely update soon. ;) Report Review
Amazing story so far :D :D
The characters seem so real and its very well written! I haven't got much to say xD Continue with the epic work! Me want more chapters!Author's Response: Thank you so much hun, you're way too sweet! I'm writing more, I hope that the next chapter will get done soon. xD Report Review
I AM SO HAPPY YOU UPDATED!!! :D
This was another fantastic brilliant chapter! Have you noticed this trend in TDA where amazing graphic artists are also amazing writers? I swear, life isn't fair!
I really, really loved this! So enjoyable to read - not only was Amelia's narration continually amusing and got me engaged, but I like where you went with the plot and characters.
I might be a bit silly but I'm not sure if I got the "It's not Rose, it's Natalia" bit right.. :P Are you saying that Natalia is the head girl, not Rose? I hope I interpreted that right :L
It was nice to meet the other girls, and it's good that they all have different personalities. I liked the rumours and Scorpius sitting with Albus. I really liked everything basically! :L
I loved your writing too. How you manage to keep this story entertaining even though next gens are filled with cliches.. and how you manage to make this a unique story, amazes me! I really look forward to reading more. And you know what that means Maya. It means you need to update! Please don't force me to wait for like, SEVEN. SEVEN. SEVEN!!! MONTHS AGAIN!
- charlotte! :D
Maya, write more. write more. write more! I loved this! :)Author's Response: Baaawhh! Lottie! :))) It's so good that I have you to give me input for my terrible writing. :hug:
Yes, I meant that with the "It's not Rose, it's Natalia" bit. When I wrote the moment I imagined that because Amelia doesn't like her too much, she makes a bit of a leap in her logic in her head to reach that conclusion. However, it seems that I left it a bit ambiguous. When I edit, I'll take a look at this, thanks! :)
Oh, glad you like the girls! I needed a bit more introduction for them in this chapter so that I can start directly with the action and mayhem from next chapter with some already introduced characters to support it. :)
Thank you so much for the amazing review! It's really hard to write such kind of rom-com fanfics without using cliches, so I am just taking some and jumbling them up. xD There will be quite a lot of surprising things plot-wise so that I can keep the "freshness" of the plot. And don't worry, I got some of my writing muse back. I'll definitely have a chapter soon, especially since LGMS starts soon and then a lot of graphic-making will ensue. xD
Maya Report Review
Bahaha, I love these kinds of lighthearted stories. I also am completely in love with you because you have found a way to give Scorpius a relative that doesn't defy canon in a way that has me clawing my face off. Thank you SO much for that.
I also think Scorpius is such a silly. Is he a Slytherin in this? Because this is such a Slytherin sort of plan. Making friends with people to get to their relatives. hee hee. I wonder what Rose is like that Amelia doesn't like her that much. Oh also, I applaud you on not giving Amelia some crazy insane name that is suppose to match Scorpius' and instead going with the more flowery, traditional style names like Daphne and Astoria. Amelia is lovely.
I giggled at several points:
...always speaks in this cryptic womanly language that I wasn’t given a dictionary for. what DOES stuff like that mean. I'm a winter! I'm an Autumn! She's such a Spring! I always get so confused.
Her hair is rather the colour of passionately burning fire. As a fellow redhead, I lol-ed at this for about 200 seconds.
Well, in my defense, all the girls were thinking it. ROFL
Love this. Great start to your first next gen!
AnnieAuthor's Response: You know what? I usually hate it when authors insert OCs as relatives of main characters. But I did it anyway! My motivation was that I didn't want anyone accidentally shipping Amelia/Scorpius and that was the only method that would ensure that at 100% success rate. Lol. :D
Yeah, Scorpius is a silly. He's got his father's brains unfortunately. :D He is a Slytherin indeed... oh, yeah, sneaky Slytherin-y plan. And though he is usually a ray of sunshine, his sneaky bad traits will come forth in future chapters.
Love simple names. There is no need for Aphrodite or Labradora (wow, I should use Labradora somewhere xD).
Fellow redhead here! (*khum* dyed) I am glad you like the humour. It's mostly my own brain's mental doodles. :D
Once again, thanks for the lovely review, Annie!
Maya Report Review
Wowww!! I really like this!! I was generally coming to read a one shot because I hate reading novel-lengths that aren't finished (gets me antsy as I'm really impatient lol) but I read your summary and could not resist myself!! This sounds brilliant... I love the concept, the characters and your OC!! I can't wait to find out how Amelia tries to befriend Rose and all the trouble that will inevitably happen from this. :P Yes, I shall favourite this and hope you're a much faster updater than me xD as for criticisms, there are not many. I think the only thing I'd suggest is to reread this cause there are some awkwardly phrased sentences. Understandable, but a read through would only make it better. Otherwise, I really do love this and will keep up with this story!! Excited to see where it goes :) xxAuthor's Response: Yey! I am glad you like it. :)) I am the same way about novel-lengths (especially when they are with few chapters). :)) Heheh... my OCs. :) I always try to delve into my psychology knowledge for them... as I said try. xD And yeah... trouble will ensue, though I may or may not say that it will be mostly because of Scorpius. :D
As for updates... I've been a bit unmotivated with my writing this month, but I'll get over it soon and then updates shall flow like an Amazonian river during rainy season. :D Got it for the phrasing - I think I know which two sentences you are talking about but what I don't know is why I left them like this. I saw that they were awkward and I kept them anyway. Well, that's why we have the edit button. xD Thankfully.
Thanks again for the super nice lovely review. :) Report Review
Teehee, I love one of your first lines. This was not one of those plans. Setting the story up for failure already. SCOROSEGATE.
Haha you have a lovely sense of humors. "Like boxers and the elastic band that holds them" HAHAHAHAH, “Scorpius, are you gay and in love with Potter?”
OOH I LOVE THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE ROSE. You know, that never happens. HAHAH AND SHE'S IN LOVE WITH PROFESSOR SEXY.
I think a couple lines of dialogue might be a little funky, just the way things are phrased a a little unnatural. Something like, "“Where do you need me in the whole execution of what I assume is The Get Rose Plan?” might be better as just, "So where do you need me in this whole Get-Rose-Plan?"
This is a good start you have! :)Author's Response: *Wee-e-e* My reviews have been lacking a significant amount of capslock, so I am glad you came here to review. :D
Lol, my weird sense of humour is appreciated. :D I don't know how the line about the boxers came to me, must have been late in the night. :DD
Oh, about that I was just imagining Amelia a bit of weird talking. But I think that line was just confused me. I'll go back and take a look. *disappears in a cloud of smoke* Report Review
I never really liked slytherines... actually i hated them with a burning passion but this is very intriguing... please keep on going with this i like it. her sense of humor is, well, humorous
clea smith;)Author's Response: Heh, after all these are the Slytherins from the next generation - they are not so slimy, but they are cunning nonetheless. You'll see. ;) I am glad you like Amelia's sense of humour, she's a weird girl. :)
Thanks for the review! Report Review
This is an interesting story so far! I can't wait to read the next chapter to see what happens. :) I can't wait to see how Amelia becomes friends with Rose and what Scorpius will do. Ahh, and the drama and such ensues.
haPpy DaZeAuthor's Response: Thank you! I am really glad that you like the beginning. And don't worry - a lot of drama and chaos is about to ensue! :) Report Review
YAY! You wrote a new story! Here's my review from the forums ^_^ I've been meaning to read this, so I'm glad I finally got the time to! This was quite an enjoyable next-gen! So far, so good!
The plot is lovely! There are a lot of 'plans to get someone in love' and a lot of cliches involved. But I usually don't mind the cliches so long as it's well written, which I think yours is. But actually, having Amelia make friends with Rose was unexpected, so that's great! The dialogue all flows great, and the descriptions are good too. I like the humour as well.
Character-wise, I like Amelia. I like how you mentioned her mother was Daphne, so that I now know exactly who she is :P I also like Scorpius, but it isn't hard not to. I'm eager for some Albus and Rose as well! :)
There are one or two sentences that could be worded better, but all in all, your grammar/spelling is great!
-"However, I am proud to announce that I voiced out only those (these) words: "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
-"This is my depiction of the story how by the mysterious paths of the universe, I was somehow dragged into Scorpius' plan to get Rose Weasley." The wording sounds a little awkward to me, and also it is rather a long sentence. Maybe if you just reworded it a bit? "This is my depiction of the story of how I was somehow dragged into Scorpius' plan to get Rose Weasley, thanks to the mysterious paths of the universe."
All in all, I really like it. It's a lovely introductory chapter. There aren't many flaws in it at all. The challenge is in the chapters to come - you need to keep it interesting, and engage your readers, as well as progress the story along, and try to avoid some cliches. But keep up the work you're doing now and I see a potentially awesome story coming along ;)
-maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)Author's Response: Lottie! Thanks for coming to review :)
I am glad you like the story so far! As far as the plan and the cliches go, don't worry, as Amelia said - Scorpius' plan is... a very bad plan... not much a plan at all, if you ask me. A lot of hilarity is about to ensue. :) And in next chapter, the introduction of Rose and Albus is coming. Also, plot-wise, I've got some sub-plots to keep the story interesting (at least I think so xD).
I am also happy that you like Amelia - we haven't seen a lot of her true character and it will unravel slowly. I don't want to spoil anything, but she is not entirely the happy-go-lucky persona that she tries to show to the world.
And ah! Thanks for those suggestions. I don't like that sentence either, I should do something about it. xD
Once again, thanks for the lovely review, Lottie!
Hugs Report Review
The first chapter was good. Looking forward to the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you, I am very glad you liked it. :)) Chapter 2 is coming soon. :)) Report Review
I love it
Please update!Author's Response: I am updating soon. :)) The only problem is that the hpff queue is long and it will probably take a while.
Thanks for reviewing ;) Report Review
Normally I hate OCs, but I actually liked yours. Looking forward to reading more.Author's Response: Thanks! I am really glad you like Amelia :) Report Review
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