ha! this was hilarious, i think i officially love next gen thanks to you and this amazing story! thank you (:Author's Response: Thanks :D that's good to know ^^ you're welcomeXD Xx Report Review
This is such a great one-shot! I love the way you didn't try to do too much with it, and it really stood out to me because of that. Ted's scene with George was so sweet, and it reallly made me smile, because you've got him characterised so well, I was really rooting for him! Zabini was a funny character to laugh at, with his 'mouse'-s in air quotes, and Jack was a funny character to laugh with; I'd definitely want to read more about these two if it was a longer fic, and still do even as a one-shot :) Really great job!Author's Response: Thank you :D Ahh, I'm glad it made you smile, I was aiming for that! Tehehe Zabini's such a joker ;) I may write another one shot about them... a bromance thing for Ted's wedding :D Tell me what you think on the forums! xx Report Review
I really liked this. It was really enjoyable! I love the character you've given Teddy! It was lovely to read about! I'm so glad you've got him as a healer too. This very creative, I've read nothing like this before! So it was truly refreshing. I loved it! I loved Jack as well, I think you've done well with his character. In all, this was excellent!
xxAuthor's Response: Thank you :) Yeah, I always imagined him as a healer :D Yay! I'm glad :) Thank you very much :D ~NGHL XXx Report Review
hi there! for the review swap ;)
firstly, i LOVE this banner! i'm a huge fangirl of dani's work :P
anyways, on to the story! i like this a lot overall. i think that you made the characters all distinct, which is difficult to do believably sometimes in a one-shot. i like that teddy actually has some ambition, and he's not just playing around and being a fool--like he's characterised in a lot of other stories :) i like jack, too, i think that he and teddy have a believable friendship.
i laughed out loud at the part that came where George asks teddy if it's illegal and then says he has the "perfect" spot for it after a pause. i didn't expect that, can you believe it, even from George!
i thought the part in the storage room was maybe a trifle too sweet for me. i can't imagine it happening quite like that in real life: maybe it would help to fluff up the dialogue with some padding of internal thoughts? cause also the thing about the auror is really unexpected, and i would be able to relate and sympathise more if i had seen that coming. or even if he thought more about it in that moment, you know?
i also don't know about the present tense in this story. it would be better for me in past, because there are certain things that i expect to be taken advantage of in present tense that i didn't see here ;) also, in the first paragraph there are a couple tense inconsistencies :)
but i like this a lot, anyways! i like that Teddy wears lime green robes--i feel like it's something that Tonks would have liked :)
i might have liked the story to end, though, at "so, do you think he uses air quotes every time he says mouse?" i think that would be a good ending, specially for a one-shot!
great job, this was an amusing read--and good luck in the challenge! :)
--lilyAuthor's Response: Hehe I'm a total fangirl too! I've asked her to do every single one of my banners, *blush* :D
Thanks! :D Oh, yes Teddy's no fool, and I'm glad you like Jack and his friendship :)
Hehehe I love that bit too! I was hoping you wouldn't expect it, even though it was a very George thing to do :) It just showed that he's not very mature, even twenty five years after the war :)
Aah, ok I get what you mean :) Yeah with the auror thing I kind of meant for it not to be expected, as Teddy hadn't been thinking about it before, it just rushed out if you get what I mean? But maybe I could add some of his thoughts in the moment, I understand where you're coming from :)
Yeah, when I was writing it I knew some people wouldn't like it. I mean, most of the time I write in past, but I just wanted a difference :) Oh dear, I'll totally get to those inconsistencies right away! :/
Ahh, thanks :) Hehe yeah she would of :D
Yeah that would've been! I might think about that... :)
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x x Report Review
Aw! I really liked it! I really like that Teddy is a Healer in your story and that he was worried about what would make his parents proud :) Something else I liked was the fact that you briefly mentioned Victoire. Very brief mention, but it was nice
~KatAuthor's Response: Yay! I'm glad :) I've always seen Ted as a healer, and a little insecure, so I'm happy you like that! Awwh thanks Kat!! ~NGHL XX Report Review
AW! This was cute! I always like the idea of Teddy becoming a Healer instead of an Auror, for some reason. It seems to fit his personality (the one I have in my head, haha). I also really like the way that you showed that even thought it's been years and years, he still has kept himself slightly distanced from the Weasley family. And the fact that it was George to kind of really bring him into it fully was great. He lost someone really important in the war too, and so it probably meant more coming from him that it would have coming from someone else.
I also really really really loved Teddy trying to alter the Wolfsbane potion. It was a real homage to his dad and it also showed that even if Remus had been alive, Teddy would have really understood how he felt about his condition.
You writing style really flows nicely and props on having some smooth and natural dialogue. I want to meet these two guys! They sound funny and smart and you know.Teddy Lupin and Oliver Wood's son. haha.
Anyway, liked this a lot!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Thanks :) Yeah so do I, for some reason him becoming an Auror just doesn't seem right, and sometimes feels like people believe the only job in the HP world is an auror. Which obviously it's not :) YAY! Thanks for understanding why I picked George :)
Thaaank you :) I always imagine Teddy as being so humble :)
Aww thanks that really means a lot :)
God, I wish these guys were real! And oh, yeah... Mmm... Teddy Lupin and Oliver Wood's son. *love*
~Vic xx Report Review
^ Sorry, not logged in. I'm here to fullfill ur review!!! Awsome story! So creative! You must have been attacked by a very creative plot bunny. I thoroughly enjoyed this one-shot very much, and I love how much characterization you put into Teddy's character! It made me feel like this is exactly how he would act in this given situation. The flow was a bit rough in some places, but overall, I thought this was a great story!
9/10Author's Response: That's ok :)
Oh, yes I was :) This was for a challenge, and as soon as I got my character and Potion (Teddy and Wolfsbane) I was like OH YEAH!
I'll check up to see what you're saying.
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x x Report Review
Can I just start off by gushing that this is from a man's perspective? About 99.9 percent of fics are from a female's POV, so this is severely refreshing. So refreshing, in fact, that I don't think I will be thirsty for at least three days.
The premise is interesting, the plot is promising, the flow is good. The characters are shaping themselves well. I think my favorite part is Teddy's fear that his parents would be a bit disappointed in him becoming a Healer instead of an Auror. It added an extra dose of realism to your story, getting inside his head like that and knowing his thoughts and fears.
The only CC I have for you is to perhaps use only one blank space between paragraphs. ^_^ Otherwise, the chapter looks misleadingly long, and some people with short attention spans might not read it.
I like Teddy. He isn't oozing with confidence. He's real and pretty easy to like. Remus would have been proud. :)Author's Response: Hi!
Oh, thank you! I'm glad you like that factor. Personally, I find it more challenging to write from a male's perspective, and have written another one shot accordingly :D Thank you :)
Yay! Finally someone who sees what I was trying to get at with the getting inside Ted's head, and seeing his emotions. Ahh.
Oh, yeah every time I put only one space, it adds like, another five for each space, so I promise the spacing isn't my choice. However, I've found a way to fix it, and will be doing so very soon.
I'm glad you like Teddy and you think he's realistic. And I totally agree. Remus would have been proud :) Report Review
Hullo NeverGotHerLetter (by the way, love your penname. Don't we all feel that way :D?)
I got your forum request and was very excited to pop over and read what I considered a nice, out of the box one-shot. I was really excited because this was definitely much more featured on friendship and good acts than romance. It was a nice change of pace ^_^
I think that you did good justice to Teddy and his general characterstics. He definitely has the streak of a Maraduer with a bit of trouble but wholistically good intentions (what I assume is most of the time.). And Jack was just as lovely to read about. I envision between the two of them that you have some good eye candy and some good humor ^_^
I liked Zabini as the boss as well; the entire scearnio really reminded me of the American show, Scrubs. If you haven't heard of it/seen it, its a bromance of epic proportions with some very interesting prospects for coworkers and boss.
Now for my suggestions, I would re-enter this into queue since the spacing is slightly obnoxious. It makes the one-shot seem longer than it really is and it may scare off some potential readers. Plus all the spacing is real bothersome. Just a suggestion though.
Secondly, I'd grab a beta to read over some of this because I think that it has good potential with some rough edges. You have some general puncutation issues. Like forgetting the period after a mister, etc. Also, there were a few awkward sentences that could be fixed with just another pair of eyes.
Overall, it was a cute one-shot to read and it was well-written. Good luck in your challenge!
LMWAuthor's Response: Hello!! Thanks hehe :)
Thank you! I really wanted to do one like this, one that doesn't particularly brush on romance, because, like you said, it's a change of pace, and also because it's more like the original HP books, which don't really focus on romance and dating and whatever :)
Awwh thank you that really means a lot :') Haha oh yeah total arm candy :D
Hehehe yeah I love Scrubs!! With Dr. Cox... yeah I get what you mean :) I promise I didn't base this off it though :D
Ooh yeah I'll do that; my spacing always goes wrong for some reason :/
Ok, I'll get my beta to look over it!!
Thank you!! *crosses fingers*
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x Report Review
NeverGotHerLetter: Hello, Laurie here with your requested review. First point; Yay, Teddy! I love him atm ^.^ I have a one-shot with him, but he's younger in mine;).. Anyway!..
"Ginny on the other hand... well she does it all the time." - This line really made me laugh, I can imagine Ginny always commenting on people from her school life.. It's just Ginny all over ;)
Oh, This is cute. I love the way Teddy is brewing that potion, even if it is illegal, because it just makes me think of Lupin *swoon*. Oh, Also loving how he's best-mates with Olivers son? Am I right? ;)
Overall, You wrote this brilliantly with the correct amount of humour in it etc. I also like the references to the past, with Fred and Lupin&Tonks and I'm glad you didn't let the sad-feeling take over the story. You balanced the two moods well - Kudos to you ;)
I hope you did well in the challenge - You deserved it with this piece.
ps. Your summary wasn't a problem by the way. Just a short summary is perfect :P, Oh and thats a lovely banner ;)Author's Response: Hello Laurie :D
Ah, I love Teddy too! NextGen has recently taken over Marauders in my favourite era list!
Haha thanks :) I totally imagine her being like that too :)
Ahh, yeah. Lupin. *sigh* I miss him. :(
But yes, you're totally right; Jack is Oliver Wood's son :)
Actually, the challenge hasn't finished yet, and we haven't found out who's won, I just like to get challenge pieces in early :) Fingers crossed!!
Thank you so much! xx Report Review
There's not much we know about the next generation, but I think you really captured George quite well! Teddy and Jack were funny :)
And Teddy trying to find a cure for lycanthrophy is so sweet, I wish his parents were still alive and he'd get to help his father. Now there's a plot bunny ;)
Well done! xxx LeoAuthor's Response: Thanks :)
I'm glad you liked George, Ted and Jack. I always thought Ted would be funny :) With Tonks as a mum he kind of had to be :)
Ahh yeah, so do I! Unfortunately, i don't do AU, I'm firmly canon. But you could totally do that! :D
Thanks again!! ~NGHL XX Report Review
hehe this is the second thing of yours i have read and im loving more and more every time i read it!! :) i really enjoy your work keep up the great writing!!
xxJessAuthor's Response: Aha, thanks so much!! I definitely will :) (You should read my novella, the next chapter will be up in the next couple of weeks or so :D ) xx Report Review
Aww this was sweet and funny and sad and heart warming all at once. I really like the way you portrayed Teddy and I love him as a Healer! I love the way you used the Potion and I like how your OC had a canon base to him. :) Hmm, what else? Oh, I like how well you stayed in Present tense, I didn't see any slip-ups. I thought that this was a well-rounded peice and you did very good on it!!
Thank you so much for entering my challenge! --JennaAuthor's Response: YAY!! Thank you! I love that you love all those things!! Yeah, the p[resent tense thing was something I was unsure about doing, as I thought it would sound weird, but I'm really glad you like it!! And you didn't see any slip ups because I read through it literally like thirty times before posting it XD YAY!!
Thanks for such a great review :) xx Report Review
ahh. so I think I'm kind of mini stalking you. whoa. creepy. ha. but no seriously, I was looking at your stories, and I saw this but I never read or reviewed it, so I thought I should now. lovely. but I have to say, this was really good. and don't take this the wrong way, but it was better than I thought it was going to be :) not that I thought it was going to be bad, blah, blah, blah, I just wasn't sure how good it was going to be since it seemed like a random teddy story. but it was good. :)
okay, I love george so much. I think I say that about most characters in like any story, but seriously. he made me smile a lot in this story. the tiny part with fred in it made me so sad. fred was my all time favorite character in the books besides sirius, and it was so awesome how you threw that bit in about the twins :) so yeah, anyways, this was like soo cute. I loved it, and I cannot wait to read more by you soon. :)Author's Response: :D Aha, don't worry it's nice to be worthy of a stalker :D Aha, I didn't take offence :) I know that it seems a little random; the summary thingy wouldn't let me do more than two lines of summary without the banner, so yeah. I think I'm going to go to the summary forums :D
Ah, George :) Who could not love the twins? Well... unless they were like some depressed murdering psychopath? I don't know :/ ANYWAY, thank you so much for taking the time to review :) Yours make me smile every time!! XX Report Review
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