Reading Reviews for The lies our parents told us
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by miluv Prologue

6th May 2012:
Woww. That was really well done. That was actually knid of amazing. You have a lot of talent!!! Kay bye!

Author's Response: Oh, thanks!

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Review #2, by ladybella Prologue

13th August 2011:
Hey!

I really dont know what to say about this other than it was completely perfect! You really did your research (or at least sound like you did) And the whole chapter flowed through seamlessly, despite the fact the chapter was mostly just background information you wrote in a way that it wasnt boring!

I loved the line "Orion wasn't much of a father to him, but, occasionally, he was a good cell mate." I really like that!

Loved this and i'll be reading on now! :)

Ladybella

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. The prologue wasn't much of funny, but I promise next chapters are. :D

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Review #3, by LilyGreenEyes Long drawn out childhood

23rd June 2011:
This was lovely little intro to Lily's friends and the group at Hogwarts. It was really great to see :)

And just look at Sirius being a gent! Well, more like a charmer! It's geat characterisation in this chapter here, especially with Sirius and Jessica seems to fit in to the little group well :)

I love how much of a culture shock and different world this is to what Jessica is used to, you've really portrayed this well and it was great to read :)

Author's Response: Thanks much for another wonderful review!

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Review #4, by LilyGreenEyes Catching the train

23rd June 2011:
Again, another good chapter that I enjoyed. I'll apologise about the reviews getting shorter, I just hate to repeat myself!

It was lovely to finally see the 2 halves of the story meet, you did this well and it all seems really good, if not a little awkward but you've really perked my interest about how this will develop. I can see the groundwork you're laying and it's really good :)

The characterisation and flow were both good and the little twist at the end was great! Everyone likes a bit of a cliffhanger and you've got me really wondering now about how this will develop further and wanting to read ahead!

Author's Response: Gosh, where have you been my whole life? :))
That sounds dramatic, huh? I can't help it, because your reviews make me sooo happy. :)

~Ramona


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Review #5, by Giola Prologue

23rd June 2011:
Hi, Giola here for your requested review!

Alright, well you wanted a focus on character and plot, and I can't really do that from the prologue, so I'll read on and leave some more reviews so you can get an idea.
From this chapter, I got a good sense of both Orion and Walburga, their character's seem well portrayed. My only criticism is that there are several grammar errors, so I'd recommend getting a beta reader.
Other than that, good job, you set up the backstory for the Black boys well. The last paragraph really hooked me in, making me want to keep reading, always a good thing!

-Julia

Author's Response: Thanks, Julia.
I'll go look for a beta. :D
~Ramona


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Review #6, by TheDoctor Prologue

22nd June 2011:
Hello :) Astoria Viana here from the forums with your requested review!

First of all I think you have a lovely technique of writing. Your words flow nicely and have a reformed quality about them. Your opening about marriage between Prices and Princesses and then about current marriage policies was magnificent.

Your plotline so far seems like it has allot of potential. I really loved your explanation for why how Sirius' parents eventuall got married. I think it puts a new light on Sirius' childhood as well as Regulus'. As isaid earlier I love the formal flow to your writing but along with this I have to say be careful. The more your story is written formally the more it discords when you use more modern terms or something similar. For example "She learned them how to write" It's up to you but I would replace 'learned' with taught, as it sounds mre refined/formal and therefore fits the rest of your story better.

So far all your characters are believable and make sense with canon. I really love Walburga's character, she is the perfect cold hearted pure blood. As far as character foes I really think you have nothing to improve upon :)

One thing I noticed though was how you refferenced Orion's death, saying "Orion stopped from living" I think this would flow better and make more sense if you just said 'Orion passed on'. It's up to you but I think it would make it clearer.

I also love your final metaphor of Azkaban as compared to living with Walburga, though I would say you might want to clarify that Orion did noot go to prison as a few times it seems like you're refferencing that he did. The metaphor is a great one but just clarify it a bit.

Overall I think you have a great start and great characters. Just be careful not to rush and go back and read through what you've written when your done with a chapter to make sure that it reads as you imagined. Keep going :)

~Astoria

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by LilyGreenEyes Roll the dice

20th June 2011:
You have such a quirky and individual writing style! It's such a pleasure to read and is very refreshing :) It really helps your story flow beautifully and very seamlessly :)

I love your descriptions! They are so detailed yet don't waste words on silly things that aren't really necessary at that time. It really does help the reader conjure images in their head and see the scene for themselves. That's really hard to do well so well done!

You have a great intriguing end to the chapter and a little cliff hanger as well, which is fab as it really does help draw the reader on, not that we need it ;), and propel the plot further. You've developed well on the original plot laid out in the first chapter and I'm really looking forward to reading the next few chapters!

Author's Response: Thanks again. I hope the next chapter won't disappoint you.:d

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Review #8, by LilyGreenEyes Prologue

20th June 2011:
Hey there! Here as requested and very glad you did pop by!

I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter, it had something, and you'll have to give me time because I can't quite decide what, that is simply wonderful about it!

It's a quirky kind of start to the story but it really works well. It has great details of the characters and really sets the scene for the reader in a most brilliant way :) Well done on that because that's something most authors forget to do!

I loved the build up and narrative style you used. You almost state things quite matter of factly but it works brilliantly. The build up of intrigue and detail really does pull the reader into your story in a most 'un-out-downable' way!

I fely your plet, characterisation, flow, adherence to canon. etc etc was all fabulous, I really enjoyed it :)

Author's Response: Well... I just woke up and got to the forums first. Someone was saying "I'd like to wake up and find a surprise in my reviews box" . It seems that's a dream came true for me.:d
Thank you very much for such a wonderful review!

~Ramona


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Review #9, by ObsceneDevotion Catching the train

25th February 2011:
It seems very interesting so far. I enjoy the fact that you have some background stuff before launching into the story. I miss that a lot when I read fanfiction, most people are just in such a hurry, that it ruins the story..

Seems great so far, I'll be waiting for the next chapter! :D
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm just sorry there will be some to wait before a new chapter. It is written, but, before posting it, I've got to post some more on my other story.

~Ramona


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Review #10, by LaMignonette Prologue

17th February 2011:
This looks like it could be a good story but it has some very...interesting language mistakes. Is English your first language? The way some of these sentences are put together are reminiscent of a text translated roughly from a Latin-based language.
Anyway, I have a feeling that the story will still be worth reading, so I will.

Author's Response: English is not my language and yes, it is a Latin-based one. Thanks for reading!

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Review #11, by keio girl Prologue

22nd January 2011:
this is really nicely written and its always refreshing once in a while to see a new perspective written about sirius and his relationships. keep it up and looking forward to next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you, my dear.

~Ramona


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Review #12, by lejohann Prologue

22nd January 2011:
I thought this was a very interesting take on the history of the black family. I was a little confused towards the end, but i loved the last paragraph. this was well written, you did a good job, and i will definitely keep reading. This looks like a very interesting story.

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted to draw a different Sirius/OC story. I read stories of him falling in love with his best (girl) mate, with a girl he 'hated', with a girl he never noticed and so on...
The one I'm writing has nothing to do with those types.
Maybe, sometimes, it is just meant to be...

~Ramona


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