Reading Reviews for Reckless Blame
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Aderyn Prologue: Telling You

6th March 2012:
Hi!

This was a pretty decent start to the story, you certainly added lots of suspense. There's also a lot of foreshadowing that probably sets up later action in the story.

I think you could have a bit more characterization in this chapter. There's so much dialogue, you don't stop for descriptions. Try to give your reader a clearer picture of the setting and of your characters. It will also help create more interest in what happens in your story.

I think with more detail, this chapter would be great, just try to flesh things out a bit. This may be the prologue but its still important. Good luck!

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Review #2, by adluvshp Prologue: Telling You

12th December 2011:
Hey there!

Here for the second review :)

I like your plot and your narrative style. The way you switched in and out of flashbacks was quite good. I can see good characterization too, and I can see some character development along the way which is good. The scenes/narrative flowed well, you had a grip on the writing which is good too.

I have got two pointers though. One: The grammar (especially the spelling) is really messy all over the story. I really suggest you get a Beta to take care of the grammar/spelling issues. It's quite a lot and it gets distracting; sometimes I can't understand the sentence because of the off-grammar. I understand everyone's grammar cannot be good (I'm not perfect myself) but so I suggest it's best you ask for a Beta specifically for the grammar issues and you should be fine :)

Second, during the last flashback (the one when she "noticed him" and they're dancing and etc.) is somewhat confusing. The reader can't really understand what's going on. I suggest re-reading that part and doing some edits. I'm sure you can manage it because it's not something really major :)

Apart from these two iffys, I think the chapter was good. Over all, your writing is nice and you have a lot of potential.

Good work!

7.5/10

Cheers!
AD
~Your Secret Santa
{AditiDraco95}

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Review #3, by LovlyRita Prologue: Telling You

14th August 2011:
Louise!!

I really liked this! you've definitely got a great start here! I'm assuming we're fixing to have a baby daddy battle here, to see who the daddy is? Those are always FUN. :) I really like your descriptions, especially of the nameless guy in the club. Nothin' like a little rebound lovin' to lift your spirits! There were a couple of grammatical things throughout the chapter, but nothing completely major.

I also like how you have Lily and Hugo's relationship. That's nice to see, although you know that I don't read much next gen, so I don't know if that happens often. But I do like to see the two of them close and apparently living together. nice touch!

I'm excited to see where you decide to take this. I'm sure it'll be deliciously scandalous, whatever it is!! :)

Great job!

~LR (Slytherin)

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Review #4, by slytherinchica08 Prologue: Telling You

7th July 2011:
I liked the story. It's nice to see people as not perfect since they never are and I really liked the conversation that you had between Aaron and Lily. I thought this to be a good beginning

I just wanted to mention i found a few things to be fixed. the first is “You do you think you are?” should be Who do you think you are and the second "Trust me, I never coming back again." should be Trust me, I'm never coming back again. nothing huge but thought i should point it out. Also this sentence is quite a mouth full:

“Lily what is going on?”as he walked in to the flat from that morning he found me going around our flat and pulling anything that had come from the pass 3 years as a result of the relationship that had just fallen apart. maybe just have it as lily what is going on? as he walked into the flat. and then say something like He was curious because he found me going around and pulling anything that was a reminder of the relationship that Aaron and I had. something like that.

but really other then this it was a great job and this didnt take away from your story. I really enjoyed it.

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #5, by Spicky Prologue: Telling You

7th February 2011:
oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my!!!
That was amazing!!! :D Just amazing!!!
Firstly: please update soon!
Secondly: I love your descriptions, that was like incredibly well done, I liked the way that it was very obvious what she was talking about, even though it wasn't said until Hugo asked "The Question"! - subtle, but obvious :D
Thirdly: LOVE it!!!
SO, update soon then, kay? :P

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