Reading Reviews for Weep for Him
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pretense Of Perfection and they will weep for him

9th July 2014:
Hello there!!!

I've always enjoyed reading about both Gideon and Fabian, and this story was no exception. I think you painted a vivid image, and really managed to bring the story to life. The setting was so perfect, and your words were chilling. I like how the storm seemed to be a comparison to how he felt, as well as foreshadowing to the event of his death. The garden was also perfect, something that typically seems so innocent, turned into something terrifying and hurtful. I found myself watching the story through his eyes, as your impressive writing literally made me feel like i was there, in the garden, watching this scene unfold myself.

I think the pacing and plot were perfect, and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors. You showed excellent word choice, and your similies and description came together to make a very beautiful story. Excellent job, and I hope to read more of your work in the future!!

---House cup 2014 review---
pretense of perfection, gryffindor

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Review #2, by alicia and anne and they will weep for him

14th August 2011:
You're writing style is amazing, I am so envious at how you've described everything just so magnificently.
It flows so well and I can picture everything clearly as though I am there with him.
I like the added theme of roses.
Why is Fabian running and who from?
This is an amazing read! I am so glad that I read it. your words are breathtaking.

alicia and anne
slytherin

Author's Response: wow thank you so much for such an amazing review. i really appreciate all your kind words. to answer your questions, fabian is running from the death eaters. i don't know why i set this battle, or prelude to one, in a rose garden, only that it seemed to appear to me that way.

thank you so much!!


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Review #3, by NaidatheRavenclaw and they will weep for him

12th August 2011:
Wow. Can I say how freaking amazing all your stories are first? This was really no exception.

The way you write is amazing. It's riddled with imagery beyond any other, yet it still reads like a book. Better even, then a lot of books I've read. Your style is gorgeous, and I adore it.

You picked a great character to write about, too. This could have been about a lot of deaths, so I'm glad you picked a character so minor. It really added to the story!

Lovely job, as always with you!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: wow. thank you so much, i'm blushing hun! i don't know what to say, only thank you so much for such lovely words and i am really pleased that you liked this. you are right - this could have been about anyone but i have been wanting to write about fabian for a long time.

thank you!!!
Kate xx


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Review #4, by thehyacinthgirl and they will weep for him

25th May 2011:
Wow, just wow! For something so short you've definitely managed to condense a lot of emotion and convey beautifully the death of Fabian. The one thing I did find strange in all of this is that Gideon wasn't with him.

It is plausible that, perhaps, they had different missions - but I've always pictured them like Fred and George. There is no knowledge that supports the fact that they are twins, but I always assumed that twins ran in Molly's family.

This was all especially powerful, but these lines stood out to me the most: The earth is bleeding., He wonders then, strangely, if they are all puppets., and The hunter has become the hunted.. I loved how the open and the ending were both equally as epic.

As far as grammar goes, I did pick up on one error: Not know, not when they are so close to the end. Know in this instance should be now.

As far as spelling and syntax go, everything seemed fine there, and nothing seemed to need mending. However, for some reason (to me, at least) this line seems to disrupt the flow: A dog seeking a bone. I don't know if it's because it doesn't correlate with your earth metaphors and descriptions or because it just doesn't seem in the right place, but something seemed off to me about that line.

As far as characterization goes, I think you did a brilliant job on Fabian. Sure, he and Gideon may/may not have been twins, but as brothers I'm sure he would have at least thought of him. Then again, human beings aren't always rational and unselfish. On a whole, I thought it was a good characterization of him. Because I do think he's capable of doing things independently of his brother and maybe he was really independent.

I like that you personified death. It reminds me of the story told in Deathly Hallows, about the Perverell brothers and death. Death is a sneaky and cruel guy, no?

Like I said before, despite it's length this was very potent. So great job there!

Lovely work!


Linders

Author's Response: I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!! i seriously thought i had responded to this! forgive me darling!!

firstly, thank you so much for this amazing review!! i am so pleased you enjoyed this! gideon was there - i didn't make it clear, but in the line about looking across the garden and seeing his reflection, or something along those lines, was reference to his twin. i too see them like fred and george - i don't imagine that they would have been apart very often.

oh thanks for picking that up!

thank you - i'm glad you enjoyed his characterisation. i have wanted to write him for a long time. i don't know why actually, only that i did.

thank you thank you thank you! i am so pleased you liked this and i really appreciate your wonderful comments! again, so sorry it took me so long to respond to this!

Kate xx


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Review #5, by Reyes91 and they will weep for him

21st April 2011:
Hello there,

This was very interesting. Writing only 500 words is tough; writing a good story consisting of 500 words is even tougher yet you managed to do it and with a character that I don't think is even widely used. For a story this short, a poetic feel is almost a must and you brought that through with such amazing imagery.

I don't know why, but I'm currently having a bit of obssession with dark stories dealing with death. Your personification of it was wonderful, especially this line:

"...death will come, snapping its teeth and unhinging its mouth, prepared to swallow him whole."

I just love it! And the way Fabian just stands there, accepting Death, was even more enjoyable. His description of the "beast" hunting him, calling it a puppet, actually made a lot of sense. Those Death Eaters, regardless of how much I love reading about most of them, are just little puppets of Voldemort. Though the same could be said about those fighting on the other side and obediently going along with everything Dumbledore says, and Fabian does at least begin to wonder if they are all puppets. It's an interesting thing to wonder about right before he dies.

Very wonderful piece here, I really enjoyed it. Goodness, I would have loved to have more but, of course, you coudn't make this any longer, and it works perfectly as a short one-shot.

-Reyes91

Author's Response: OMG i am so sorry it has taken me so long to respond to this!! i thought i had already...

thank you so much for such a lovely review! i really appreciate you taking the time to read and leave me such nice words!

500 words was tough! very tough! i just wanted to bust out and go nuts, lol. i agree - poeticism is a must in something so short.

thank you. i don't know where lines like that come from sometimes, lol.

poor fabian. he has no choice but to accept his death and i think he is willing to die. he will fight, but he knows death is the inevitable. i wanted to describe that horrible, spine chilling feeling that you sometimes get when something is 'hunting' you. my cat stalked me once - it was terrifying! this house cat was hunting me and i reacted like it was a tiger or something! but it actually scared me for a moment - the knowledge that something was looking on me as prey!

(i am not scared of house cats by the way, lol)

i have always seen the death eaters as puppets with voldie pulling the strings, so to a degree, the order were puppets also. both sides were fighting for what they thought was right. i think it would be the sort of thing he would consider before he died - sort of a last moment of doubt and questioning.

thank you so much! i am so thrilled you enjoyed it!!

Kate xx


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Review #6, by RonsGirlFriday and they will weep for him

17th February 2011:
I think my heart actually started beating faster as I was reading this. The imagery and tension and violence felt so alive (it wasn't even violent, really, but it felt like imminent violence, which I think is a much harder effect to achieve through writing!) You can pack such a punch into these super-short one-shots.

Some of my favorite lines:

There is no peace here, in this withered space of time and misguided fortune.

Like the weavers blades, sodden with the blood of falsified redemption, death will come, snapping its teeth and unhinging its mouth, prepared to swallow him whole.

Oh, and "he stands tall like the rose." Tall like the rose! What a concept. I'm still wrapping my mind around it, and the frightening part is, it's starting to make total sense. XD

I want a piece of your brain. Like just for half a day. (And not in a creepy Silence of the Lambs way. I mean to flatter.)

xoxo
Melanie

Author's Response: MELANIE!

hello sweetie, and thank you for such a wonderful review! *hugs*

i love these short one-shots. such a challenge to stick to the word count. i am glad you said that actually, about the violence being implied and imminent because what was exactly what i wanted to get across. i didn't wish to write his death, or the fight, just that little space before it, where he knew it was coming. he knows he will die, and he has to decide what to do about it - run or accept it as the inevitable and fight to his last moment.

i have no idea where that came from! i know people see roses are beautiful etc but personally, i hate roses. i hate the bush they grow on anyway - they are thorny and strong and out to get you (well the ones at my house are anyway, lol). i liked that he would take on those elements of a rose bush - that strength and determination.

hahahahhahaa no, you don't. seriously. it would scare you. i have strange things in my head...

LOVE YOU!!
Kate xx


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Review #7, by Ellerina and they will weep for him

17th February 2011:
I have always completely adored the idea of this type of challenge. It really encourages such creativity in the author and, in all honesty, some of my favorite and most cherished one-shots have come from it.

I have always liked the idea of Gideon and Fabian. Liked the idea that they were probably related closely to Molly Weasley, and that they were heroes that died in the last war. Honestly, they're not explored enough. Something that tragic should be really thoroughly thought through and written out.

That said, my god, the IMAGERY in this! There is a reason you're Legendary woman! It was so beautiful and stinging somehow. I could feel the pricks of the thorns on my skin and Death tickling my neck and it was such a vivid experience that it made my spine crawl a bit (in a good way really).

There is no peace here, in this withered space of time and misguided fortune. For some reason, the cadence of this line really caught my interest. I read it over a couple of times because I liked it so much.

All in all, a beautiful and evocative and somehow also apparently spine-crawling(?) piece of writing.

Annie

Author's Response: ANNIE!!! *flails*

such an incredible review!! wow. im floored.
i love these short challenges. it really is hard to stick to 500 words.

i have always been intrigued by them as well, especially that hero aspect of it all. and i agree - there needs to be more gideon and fabian around here!

thank you and *blush* i am really pleased you liked it. yay for good spine crawling! i am nowhere near Lee Anne's league when it comes to creating atmosphere but i am really pleased this effected you like that!!

thank you so much my darling!!
Kate xx


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Review #8, by LovelyMioneWeasley and they will weep for him

16th February 2011:
Kate!!

Oh my goodness..this was beyond poetic. I couldn't even fathom all of it; I had to read at least two or three times. It was a real piece of beauty, my love.

The picture you painted was undeniably believable and raw; the powerful nature by it all is what got me I think. I also really loved the juxtaposition between the rose garden and the thunderstorm.

Death was also lovely to hear; it was very hell houndish and reminded me of the show Supernatural quite a bit. Hehe. Fabian was a very interesting choice for character though. May I ask why you chose Fabian over Gideon?

Overall, Kate, it was one of the powerful and packed one-shot. I loved it.

xx Linds

Author's Response: hey darling!

thank you so much!! i am blushing right now; seriously! i have no idea where all of this came from - i was given the idea to write about fabian a long time ago and have only just managed to do it. im really happy that all the imagery worked, and that tiny touch of pathetic fallacy in there worked too.

i was thinking of Death like a hell-hound (supernatural is LOVE!) so i am pleased you picked that!

why Fabian? i have no idea really. none at all. it could have been either of them i suppose.

thank you sweetie!!
xx


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Review #9, by Billie.x and they will weep for him

13th February 2011:
I think your use of vocab. is really powerful. I like the way there isnt any vocabulary, and that it merely consists of interesting words and complex sentances!
I loved it!
well done!

Author's Response: thank you. I am pleased you liked it!!

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