Reading Reviews for The Love Letter Game
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by notreallyblonde44 Mystery?

6th March 2011:
Hey petra, it's me again. Doing some reviewing! Hoping to finish all of them today, yay :) I know you've been waiting and I appreciate your patience with me!

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation:
''Be Mine' he knows I hate generic and stupid gifts' - I feel like there should be an 'and' after Mine. Oh and later in that sentence there should be a comma after 'said'.

"No, maybe he did not want anyone to know, he may be shy?"
Mimi burst out laughing," Tate...Tate Nott is not shy, he is a sexist pig!" -There should be a line break between these and the quote in the second line is facing the wrong way.

"But, I quite fit, pig?" -a quite fit pig?

'why did you make me but 'He is fit' twice?" -put not but

There is a table near the Black Lake? o.O since when? Lol.

Must comment on:
Jack/Rose LOL Please tell me this is a Titanic reference? Please, oh please tell me it is! Lol.

Other things:
I love the quick paced, realistic dialogue between Mimi and Rose, especially in the beginning. It set the tone for the one-shot and was humorous. They seem like your average teenage girl, with crushes, and semi-pathetic reasons for doing things. While Rose didn't have a reason that I liked for dating her bf, I think it's funny to get a different and probably realistic reason that teens date each other.

That being said there were some cheesy/maybe unrealistic/forced parts. One was where Mimi said it would be super top notch fun...I don't know that just sounds really fake/sarcastic to me, but I think you wanted her to be serious about how fun finding Rose's admirer would be, but it didn't come across that way to me at all :P

As usual with my reviews, I must leave some CC, there could been more build up and tension about who her admirer is. I could tell from the beginning it was going to be Scorpius and that wasn't too fun to know as a reader. I think I liked to be tricked, so incorporating more details about her day and giving me the admirer after such a short period of time made me very aware that I would have liked to seen Rose interact with all the boys on her list and see how she would go about finding which one is which, especially with Mimi's personality, that would have been a good adventure too ;)

While this is still a Rose/Sorpius, I like that Rose is definitely not a second Hermione, which happens so often in fanfic that I hate it lol. BUT your one-shot is not that. You have given Rose, albeit a shallow one, her own identity and personality, which is refreshing. And this isn't you typically dramatic, angsty Rosipus. It's humor and slightly ridiculous (not sure if that was your intention or not...sorry if it was not). The characters are silly little teenage girls with not a care in the world and you did a great job at exploring teenage lala-land.

Nice simple line ending too, although I feel bad for Jack and am curious why neither Rose or Scorpius seemed to care about hurting his feelings :(

Regardless, silly, short, enjoyable and straight to the point one-shot ;)

Best,
nrb

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Review #2, by gingersnape Mystery?

9th February 2011:
Hello fellow Gryffie, I'm here with a review for you because you were above me! :)

Hehe, I really liked this story! It was sweet and was one of the few stories to feel complete while still leaving a lot of room for me to wonder about what happened, so good job on that! Overall, I thought this was a really great story that kept a smile on my face the whole time that I was reading it. I especially liked the lists, as they were both humerous and really added to how I saw Rose and Mimi.

You did a fantastic job of creating good solid characters and writing Rose so well. There were a few things off about it, just as in grammar points or the like, but as a fic, it looked pretty good, so congratulations for brightening my day as much as you did (which is a whole lot of brightness; I nearly ran off to look for sunglasses! :D)

Have a great day and I really enjoyed reading your story,
-ginger

Author's Response: Aww...I am gald you liked it! I had fun writing it! I love brightening people's days!

Thanks

-Kattia


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Review #3, by SexyDoorFrames Mystery?

29th January 2011:
This was so sweet; I loved it. I would have loved if it it was longer. The ending was perfection, it make me go aw! I'm so glad it was Scorpius in the end and you left it some of open ended. Loose ends, sort of thing, I liked how everything wasn't tied up neatly. I liked all your characters, which is good, as you can only show some of them within one chapter. In all, excellent. 10/10

- Keely.
xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for the review Keely! I am gald you liked it! It was for a challenge and I wanted to make sure it was done, but I know I could have made it longer!

Thanks a ton
-Kattia


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Review #4, by maskedmuggle Mystery?

28th January 2011:
Hello! :)

Thanks for participating in my challenge! You've got a very interesting story here :)

So, I really liked the idea of this, and the plot as well! All the lists were great, and quite humourous! I always love happy endings, so it was lovely to see Rose with Scorpius at the end!

As for characterisation, I liked Rose :) And Mimi too! And all the guys sounded hot.. lol. Thanks for writing, it's a nice story! ^_^

- maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am gald you liked it, I had fun writing in!

-Kattia


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