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Review #1, by long_live_luna_bellatrix

5th February 2011:

Ok, so I loved that last line! I was impressed by the first version of it in the beginning, as it was really catchy. When you repeated it, it was perfect. It tied everything together smoothly, helped show that Pansy was by no means perfect and that she was not fully recovered. That was amazing, there.

This was great because it's what so many teenagers, especially girls, go through. They think they have something to live up to, a certain standard to maintain, and it completely swallows them. This was a plausible plot, and I can definitely see it as canon. It was interesting how being in Slytherin defined Pansy so much; it sounds like if she had been Sorted anywhere but, she would've had a much better school experience.

Well done, overall. If you want to make this even better, it may not be a bad idea to work some more description in there, play around with words. It's enjoyable, certainly, but choosing the right word and stating things a little less plainly would also do wonders. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you liekd it and will think about the things that you have advised me to do! :)

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