Hmmm. Your story is not very well written. In MY opinion, please don't take it to heart! I don't think Lily was very well written. She was outgoing and popular. She was the girl everybody loved. I just don't think you captured the true essence of the Marauder era. For example, James would not suddenly become a perfect gentleman, he would still be the same James Potter he always was, Lily would just see the good in him over the bad things she had seen before. I like your Jazz character, but, to be honest, she seems unoriginal. I feel like I've read her in other stories. Well, I hoped you liked getting some contructive critism.

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Hey, that story was long. but good. Can't wait for the revized version. :^)

Author's Response: *revised
&&thankyou(:

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Your story is very delicious. please write another one for my tastey needs.

Author's Response: thankyou. how nice for you.

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Ur banner is beautiful and flashy! Cool story! Write another one! Ur doin great!

Author's Response: haha thanks Munchler(:
you may thank ms. 13taytay13 for the beautiful and flashy banner
&& im going to be revising this story, i still don't know if i'm gunna do that or write up one of my new series first, but i will...eventually...

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WOW. That was L-O-N-G. But it was good. James was cool,. he should have beat the other guy up through.

Author's Response: Yes, I tend to often write long stories. Haha, maybe he should have. (: Thanks for the review!

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i dont think u portrayed lily right. overall, good story though

Author's Response: I know I didn't, that's why I was rewriting it, as I said in my author's note. This is like the rough draft of this story. Thank you for the review. (:

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