Ah - normally I don't read about students with crushes on their teachers, but this was Remus and I loved him so I read it. And I don't regret a minute of it. This was such a sweet one-shot, and I adored how innocent and slightly naive your Remus is, when he's normally portrayed as all-knowing and a little bit broody at times. A good read, that really deserves more reviews, because you seem to be a brilliant author.
- LinnAuthor's Response: Hi again Linn *waves*
I LOVE Remus too! He's such a cutie~ He's exactly what the title suggest. A clever fool. Sound mind for the most part and practical, until it comes to things he can never quite grasp like his own feelings.
*Blushes* brilliant?? Aw shucks, thank you! I wish haha. One day maybe. You're awesome, thanks Linn!
--NRB Report Review
It great! Remus finds out that his friends really do care about him, and his issues! It's a great way to show the true brotherly bond the Marauders shared, even if one of them did doubt it at times ;) It's really great, and I love how Remus had a crush on his teacher and thought she was treating him special. It's kinda funny that she didn't realize he had a crush on him, but I guess she wouldn't have thought of that.
~LilyAuthor's Response: Hey Lily :)
Thanks for the review! I love the Marauders, Remus especially, so showing their brotherly bond and care is something that I definitely wanted to achieve through this one-shot; I'm glad you saw that! Yeah, Millie is oblivious for the most part. She's got other things on her mind...like the War.
Thanks again :hug:
Ellie Report Review
Hello nrb! :)
Eek, I'm sorry for my delay in the review! Hopefully the length will make up for it :P
Wow! Well, I absolutely loved this! I have no idea why I didn't start reviewing earlier! Really, it was a thoroughly enjoyable read. I usually hate long one shots (over 2000 words :P), but once I got into the first few paragraphs, I was completely absorbed.
The idea of 'Clever Fool' is great. I love how Remus thinks about how he gives everyone else help, but he can't solve his own problems. All that musing at the beginning is wonderfully written, and sounds very like Remus. So I thought your characterisation of him there was pretty solid. Also, Remus' thoughts about the other Marauders seemed spot on as well.
And then you jumped in with Remus having a crush on the Muggle Studies Professor. I have to admit, that was completely unexpected. Remus, a prefect, having a crush on a teacher? I can only sort of believe it.. I'm kind of wary about that. Why does Remus like this Millie? You just said Remus has a crush on Millie, but I think if you wrote WHY Remus the prefect liked this teacher it would justify its believability and make it more realistic. It just seems a bit weird for Remus to like a teacher. And I'm curious as to what you think?
I loved how James knew about Remus. He's so caring! And I love that you made him that way. Showing a nice side of him whilst maintaining his canon characteristics. I loved how they had that mirror thing and that all four Marauders then skipped class. It was a nice ending!
The writing is great! You used enough description, and the dialogue was written lovely. The other thing about your piece is the spelling/grammar. I only saw five mistakes, which is like nothing, and trust me, it didn't make much of a difference, but I thought I'd point it out anyway.
- "simply talk too" (should be 'to' not too.)
- "He had to start with scarf" (start with THE scarf?)
- "Want to see what I'm making Lily?" She asked, with a more cheerful tone. (I don't think you need a capital S for 'she')
- "Good Afternoon everyone!" She said excitedly. (same as above, and also, I usually just write Good afternoon.. I don't think you need a capital A.)
- "It's kind-off a bribe (err, did you mean 'kind of'?)
Oh yeah, that was something else I wanted to mention.. I'm pretty sure they're in their 7th year? Especially since Remus is a prefect and James is trying to be nice so he can get Lily.. By their 7th year they're like, 17/18 years old. I can just about believe Remus liking a scarf, since he has a crush on Millie, but uhh, it seems unrealistic for Millie to bribe kids into taking Muggle Studies simply by knitting scarves. If she is trying to bribe students, why did she give one to Remus (who is already a student)? Just wondering :P
And if you were worrying over the few reviews, I would say that most people are simply deterred by the long 3000 words. :/ Such is the way of life. Don't worry though, I'm sure the reviews will grow gradually, especially since this piece deserves more!
Anyway.. great story! I really enjoyed reading it! It was really well written, and the whole story was tied up really well with the 'Clever fool' idea. (P.S I love your summary and banner!). I really liked this, so well done!
-maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)Author's Response: Hey Charlotte! Thanks for reviewing and I didn't noticed a delay at all actually haha. But the length certainly looks juicy, thank you for putting time into this review for my story I really appreciate it! And I appreciate all your reviews a lot :)
I'm glad you thought "Clever Fool" was -well Clever haha. I wish I could say I came up with the title, just came up with the concept behind it. This was originally for a challenge back in 2008 LyrisLovegood on the forums gave my the title ;)
Hmm I definitely see you point about the believability of Remus' crush. Hopefully I can address some of your concerns: At this time, Remus is a 5th year and that's why she is bribing her students with gifts so that they continue into NEWT level. Remus is young, I guess I just thought he would develop a crush on a smart bubbly lady :P I will definitely be going back and adding some layers to this portion of the one-shot though, so thank you for pointing this hiccup out! And also for pointing out a bunch of my surface mistakes haha.
I'm not too worried about reviews so much as getting feedback. I don't have anyone read my story (Beta or other) before I post them so I know I always make some mistakes and I love hearing critiques of my stories -they make me work/think harder. So, I do really appreciate all the CC you gave me! And I'm glad you enjoyed the story too in the process. This piece was never intended to be this long >.> haha thanks again! Glad you enjoyed and found my characterizations of the Marauders to be accurate!
nrb / Elle
This is a great story I really do love the way that you write and describe the surroundings in such a wonderful way.
*huggles*Author's Response: Aw, thank you, CheeringCharm! You always leave such unexpectedly sweet reviews! They always make me smile! Thank you :)
Glad you enjoyed the one-shot and that my writing style appeals to you!
nrb Report Review
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