Good stuff, mate - keep it up ^^Author's Response: Zank ya mister! :) Report Review
Oh! I really liked this. I don't know why, but it just had a great feeling to it, very interesting. You captured and kept my attention quite well, lovely! GREAT JOB!Author's Response: THNK YOU, I havent gotten much response to this story and I thought it turned out a bit weird so I'm so curious of what people think of it...
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Heyy, InspiredL here with your review as promised!
I liked the characterisation and had never read a story about Lockhart before so it was really interesting for me! There was one line where I felt the characterisation was a bit weak though, I thought I'd point it out to you, just as CC and only change it if you want. He says "proving my capability and awesomeness in defensive arts"- the word 'awesomeness' doesn't seem to quite fit in with the voice of the character in the rest of the story and changing that to something more sophisticated would help I think (up to you obviously.)
The overall plot/idea was really great I thought and I loved the list at the beginning, it was really original! Everything flowed very well and it was really easy to read.
My favourite part of it was this sentence "The warden thinks my brain is more fried than a pair of eggs left in the pan for hours..." I'm not sure why but I loved the imagery in it and it made me smile.
I did notice a few places where some lines could be altered so that they fall of the tongue a bit better and there were a few spelling/grammar mistakes (nothing too glaring though.) I think the story would profit from a beta and if you decide to get one then let me know when the edited version is up and I will judge it on that.
The first line fit in well with the rest of it and you completed the challenge well. It's a really unique piece and is a great idea that I would never have come up with myself!
Thanks for taking part in my challenge and writing such an enjoyable story!
Lily ^_^Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I actually thought that I had replied to it sooner :/
yes I know that line does sound weird I sat looking for a word but couldnt come up with any so I kind of left it there and forgot about it haha
Im happy you think it's original! first thing that sprang into my mind with the quote :)
Think i'll try to follow your advice and get a beta, I know that my grammar isnt the best at all times having english as a second langauge...
I really liked taking part in the challenge thank you so much for making it!
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