Reading Reviews for In Sickness And In Health
  
144 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Information

13th April 2015:
*attack!*
Okay, so overall a pretty good chapter. I definitely find it believable that Pansy and Blaise would break the rules where Harry and Ron didn't, by telling Malfoy about the outside world.
I don't really understand why Hermione would reveal herself like that instead of waiting for Blaise and Pansy to leave. However, that's not that big a deal, so I was able to move past it. I just sort of shrugged and went "huh, okay" and continued reading.
I'm now really curious about what this curse could be. Maybe Hermione actually has the right curse, and the symptoms are identical because they're soulmates or something? (That sounds super silly now that I've typed it out, but...)
I know for a fact that we don't find out in the next few chapters, so I may even have to check back :P
I'm interested in the characters of Pansy and Blaise. They're obviously unhappy about Hermione's presence, but I'm glad that they're going to help research. It's obvious that they care about Draco and his wellbeing. They're sort of morally grey characters for me at this point, and not obviously evil or obviously good.
-Kayla

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Review #2, by MissesWeasley123 The Battle

13th April 2015:
Hey Grace!

Wow! What an action packed chapter and beginning to what I think is going to be a great story! :P Well done. Every piece you write is so different and unique in comparison to the other, and I have to admit this is one of the best things I've read of your writing!

There was a lot going on, but you did manage to make it not too confusing to some extent! Your description was great, and very detailed as well. I liked how we were going through this scene that was happening and then you would switch over to another scene, and you did a good job in handling that properly.

As I'm not so much of a fan anymore of Dramione, this was a nice change. I'm excited to see where you can go with this. Good luck with it all!

- Nadia AA, Jailbreak

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Review #3, by randomwriter Information

13th April 2015:
Heylo Grace! Finally here for this chapter. This is an attack! Round six|seven... what do I know? It's been over a day. Haha. :p

Anyway, this chapter was one of the best of this story. I really liked it because it gave us a lot of information, but it also didn't feel like too much of an overload. It also had some cute moments, but they didn't seem inappropriate, even though they kind of don't get along and are talking about the war.

Your characterisation of Blaise and Pansy was excellent. It was quite different, seeing them from the perspective of someone who's close to them, because it showed us that they are capable of being nice people, and it's clear that they're extremely loyal friends to Draco. The whole dynamic changed when Hermione walked in, which was also in character. They said some pretty nasty stuff. I wouldn't have been surprised if one of them had fired a spell out of reflex.

The only places where I thought the characterisation needed tweaking was 1) When Draco'd father's death is mentioned, I'd expect him to get a little more emotional. 2) When they were talking about Bellatrix, Zabini referred to her like he was talking about an old friend. They may be on the same side, but I still think they may fear her and respect her. 3) Pansy could have been...er, a little more all over Draco (as much as that would disgust me).

In addition to this, there were some small spelling errors (wud for would, etc). Also, just a thought, but I was wondering if they'd let Draco and Hermione keep their wands, given their history. They do need security, however. Just something I was thinking about.

Those moments with them in the end were really cute. I like that you've built this slowly, and I also thought that Draco having little insights about Hermione's behaviour (like her being a curious one) shows how much he involuntarily observes her.

You also have a real knack for writing Hermione. The fact that she always turns to books for answers is so in character. And I like that she somehow got that to Draco as well.

Good going, Grace!

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Review #4, by jessicalorewrites - rounds 6/7 Information

13th April 2015:
~ for the gryffie capture the flag tournament, rounds 6-7 #accioattackers

hey!
I want to start by saying OH MY GOSH I ALMOST SCREAMED WHEN DRACO KEPT SAYING ‘WE’. get it together malfoy you imbecile! wow, almost exposed the whole thing haha ;) silly boy. except then he did asdfdgkfjg. Pansy and Blaise took it rather well if I’m honest. I would have expected MORE of an outrage if anything. your way of writing it was still in character though so don’t worry about that! even though I’m not a fan of pansy or blaise very much I’m glad they get over the fact hermione is living with draco to help them out with what spell they might’ve been hit with. pansy’s reaction to seeing hermione made me giggle ;) “she looks like hell” hah!

one of the more emotional bits was when pansy asked whether narcissa malfoy would mind her going round to look through their library ♥ I get the feeling that because pansy referred to her by her first name and not just ‘your mum’ that they’re fairly close and I think during a time like this narcissa would really need somebody to talk to, somebody who at least vaguely is suffering too.

HAHAHAHA I really enjoyed that last bit! poor draco. but still VERY in character for hermione I think :p brash, sometimes thoughtless and acts without thinking. also quite reminiscent of that time she punched him in prisoner of azkaban hehe

jess, xo

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Review #5, by randomwriter The Battle

13th April 2015:
Hey Grace! Back for more. This is an *attack post* for the never ending double battle, and it seems to be you vs me :p Haha.

Well, this was a great way to start off a story because you left a lot of questions in my mind. You gave us a pretty shocking set of events and left us with a cliff-hanger, so I'm not surprised at how my mind is turning. It was a bit confusing though. I'd look at making the events a little clearer. I know battle can be difficult to write, but it's imperative to get that right here because it's of crucial importance.

I did find some part of this a bit off though. For starters, I think that the battle and the whole thing about going into war seems to be a little too organised. I hardly doubt all tof them will be assembled in one place before going to Hogwarts, and the progression and depiction of events didn't truly capture the magnitude of war, in my opinion. I whatever you have written, you've written well. But you've missed the detail that the war was an ongoing process. The battle was not. I don't think they'd be give a time and place for it. The fight has to be a continuous process. Also, the way it jumps sections is a little sudden. If you can fix these things, you're sorted :)

The characterisation of Hermione was on point. I like how you didn't make her strong and brave about everything. It's only natural to fear war and the experience of potential impending death is certainly terrifying and you've shown that well. The only thing that seemed a bit OOC was that in the last section she seems to pay more attention to Draco than the duel, and I don't think that would happen. Also, it's important to note how she has no interest in him at this point, apart from that of an enemy, but surely he is no greater enemy than Bellatrix?

I really liked the ending. It shocked me and made me curious. I wonder what that curse was. It sounds really harmful. Also, since I've read ahead. I know its effects, but I'm still curious about this curse.

There were some punctuation errors, but I'm sure you could fix those with a quick scan!

Great job on a first chapter, Grace ♥

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Review #6, by jessicalorewrites - rounds 6/7 Darkness

13th April 2015:
~ for the gryffie capture the flag tournament, rounds 6-7 #accioattackers

hey!

ooh, what a mysterious chapter! I really enjoyed the initial air of uncertainty as to whether or not it was voldemort but then at the end you confirmed it. quite foreboding, in a way. it sent a shiver down my spine. poor draco! D: you captured voldemort quite well though, for such a difficult character. that sense of allowing brief respite before attacking seemed VERY typical voldemort :) very in-character, I feel.

another thing I enjoyed was the description in the very first few lines -- I would have loved to have seen that continued throughout the chapter, perhaps incorporating some more of the senses alongside that too just to give the chapter a real dank tone and atmosphere that would make the reader feel like they were REALLY there, in the room with voldemort.

it was great to have an insight into the outside world so to speak, rather than the whole story being just focused on hermione/draco! it’s an unusual stance to take but I really enjoyed the change in POV to allow us this view as it adds so much to the story ♥

one of the really poignant things was how voldemort referred to draco as a boy. it made me stop and filled my heart with sorrow. sometimes I forget just HOW young these characters are and so it makes me incredibly sad that it’s like this boohoo. I know voldemort is about 80yrs old so a teenager WOULD seem young to him, but still.

I really enjoyed your style in this chapter! great job

- jess, xo

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Review #7, by randomwriter-round 7 Darkness

13th April 2015:
Hey Grace! Here for round seven of capture the flag. *fingers crossed*

This was quite different from the other chapters I've read so far. For one, it does not feature Draco and Hermione, obviously. :p So it gave us an insight into what was happening in the outside world while Draco and Hermione are copped away. Also, your chapters are usually dialogue heavy, but I saw a lot more description in this.

I think you got the emotions and reactions really well in this. With Voldemort, he was cold, scathing and just reading about him sent chills down my spine. As for the death eaters, they seemed terrified and so servile. It is exactly how they act around him in tho books as well. So your characterisation was spot on, and I really think that the dialogues and speech patterns were apt as well.

Another thing that worked in putting the reader into the right emotional headspace for this is that you built an extremely tense and edgy environment here, and it automatically pushed me, as the reader, to feel edgy.

It was also interesting to see Voldemort's wrath directed towards Draco, and not Harry for once.

This chapter definitely raised more questions than it answered though, especially about the trio and Draco. It got me wondering and coming up with ideas, so I will be hunting for some explanations.

My suggestion for this chapter would be to elaborate on the emotions, especially those of the death eaters. Also, be a little more descriptive.

Sorry for any typos that may have crept in. It's really late. Anyway, intriguing chapter, for sure.

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Review #8, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Killing Time

13th April 2015:
*jailbreak!*
Okay, so again, I have issues with some details in this chapter, but like it overall. For example, I believe that Pansy and Blaise would be civil to Hermione for the sake of Draco's health, but I can't see the possibility of them becoming friends with her even crossing Draco's mind. Draco is starting to come around to her after being pretty much cooped up with her. Blaise and Pansy don't have that same motivation.
I also think if Hermione in her already-weakened state received a smack on the head like that, she would black out immediately. On top of that, I think it would make the next chapter (which I've already read :P) a lot more dramatic.
Obviously, you're the author and it's up to you. Just some small suggestions. :)
Hermione being re-injured is a good plot twist, and definitely serves a good purpose to your plot - Draco will now be forced to spend more time with her, allowing feelings to develop.
-Kayla

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Review #9, by randomwriter-round six|seven Killing Time

13th April 2015:
Here for CtF round six|seven. Attack!

I was still quite surprised to find them all being so civil, but I suppose they don't have much of an option at this point :p And perhaps Blaise and Pansy are doing it only for Draco? I found it odd that they had nobody else to help them though. With the reading and research, I mean. If there's a curse that's this serious, I'm sure Mungo's or the ministry would be interested to get to the bottom of this? They'd probably do tests and research and help them out as much as possible.

I can see that the relationship between Draco and Hermione is certainly building up. It's sweet how they're noticing the finer details and little things about each other. And I know that Draco is thinking of how he needs to overcome his prejudice to be her friend, but it's already clear that he's noticing her and has taken a liking to her here. :) I wonder what the deal is with Harry and Ron though. I'm curious to know about where they've come up to.

That ending was the most chilling thing ever. I didn't expect that at all, and it caught me completely by surprise. I felt so terrible for her. I hope that whatever she found in that book will be of great help, and that Draco will see what was talking about.

The only thing I felt like I had to point out in terms of writing was that there were some grammatical errors. Nothing a quick read through can't fix :)

That's it from end for now, Grace ♥

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Review #10, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Recovery

13th April 2015:
*jailbreak!*
Whew, I'm glad that Hermione woke up - but it's awful that her condition has deteriorated so much.
I'm not sure that I would believe that Harry, Ron and Draco would just stand around fighting like that when Hermione clearly needed a Healer - especially not after the way Harry and Draco were talking to each other in the last chapter.
I'm not quite sure why Draco has to stay with her in the cottage. It seems like he's in a much better state than her, and "You both got hit by the curse so you should stay together" doesn't ring true to me. I think that there's a way around that though. You've been saying this whole story that stress will cause their conditions to deteriorate. Draco has obviously been under an immense amount of stress because of what happened to Hermione and the intense guilt he felt about it. Wouldn't it be logical that the stress has caused his condition to worsen and now they both have to go back to the cottage? I just think that that would make more sense.
I hope you don't mind the criticism. I really like your overall story and just want to help you tighten it up a bit :)
-Kayla

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Review #11, by jessicalorewrites - rounds 6/7 Empathy

13th April 2015:
~for the gryffie capture the flag challenge, rounds 6/7 #accioattackers

hey again!

ahh i want to cry i’m so happy hermione is finally waking up! of course i’m disappointed that neither draco, harry or ron noticed her movement but that’s quite realistic for the scenario as all three of them were lost in thought rather than focusing on her indefinitely. it was a really good way to end the chapter and, i imagine, especially frustrating for readers as you updated :p i can’t imagine having to wait to read the next chapter after an ending like that haha

one of my favourite elements of this chapter was that draco and harry finally managed to have a proper, civil conversation. i knew they had it in them ;) even if it did take hermione being in a coma again for them to figure it out and be okay with other another, i’m glad they finally got there. they’re not as different to each other as they’d like to think.

i also liked draco’s line of dialogue “stop lying to yourself man” i’m not sure why but it made me grin like crazy. bless him! the fact he is still trying to pull himself away and invalidate his feelings is so heartbreaking, but at least he comes around and is fully aware he’s trying to kid himself.
another poignant line was “what has the war done to us”. wow. there’s a million and one ways to read it, each as interesting and unique as the last. i really dig that line ♥

another wonderful chapter! again, i’m sorry i’m not reviewing every chapter but i /am/ reading and enjoying every one ^.^

- jess, xo

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Review #12, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Empathy

13th April 2015:
*attack*
So, first things first: I have issues with Harry's characterization in this chapter. He and Draco have a lot of past animosity, and I can't see them opening up to each other the way they do with no prior friendly interaction. I think that the two of them, before speaking up, would want to feel out the situation through body language. I think it would be more realistic if they had a sort of "silent conversation" through body language first.
That said, there are things I really like about this chapter. There's some really great imagery here, especially at the beginning. "The pool of blood never left his mind. Sometimes Draco felt like he was going to suffocate in it" - what a fantastic line!
I also like the progression of Draco and Hermione's relationship. Draco's concern for her comes through really clearly and believably. I also find Draco's guilt really in line with his character - he clearly felt the same sort of torment in Half-Blood Prince when he was tasked with killing Dumbledore.
Not a perfect chapter, but still good overall!
-Kayla

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Review #13, by randomwriter-round Recovery

13th April 2015:
Hello Grace! CtF! Round sex|seven.

This was a heartbreaking chapter. But somehow, it was also light, in a way? I mean, given the theme, I'd expect it to be heavier, but you wrote it in a manner that didn't reduce me to tears, but it still hit me quite hard. Great writing!

I laughed at that point where she'd woken up and the boys were just bickering despite how serious the situation was. It was so in character because I feel that even if they did manage to patch things up, the trio and Malfoy would still argue and fight over the small things, like what happens here. But Hermione's interruption was a harsh reminder of the reality, and the way you described her at that point was so sad to see because it showed us how weak she'd become.

In small, subtle ways, we can see how far Draco and Hermione have come. On having to share the cottage again, Draco doesn't throw a fit. I think that even Hermione is relieved that she doesn't have to do it alone. In fact, Draco giving her a blood transfusion in itself was an indicator of how far they've come.

I appreciate that you've built their romance up slowly. One problem I often have with Dramiones is that they suddenly go from enemies to lovers or friends. I'm really glad you're taking the time to develop their relationship.

I do want to note that your characterisation in this chapter seems to have improved. One indicator of this is how Hermione reacts when she finds out the bad news. She is, I'm sure, afraid, but she handles it with maturity, which is a lot like her as a person.

I like how the healer uses the wand like doctors use stethoscopes in the muggle world. It was a nice touch.

But the idea of having to start over, of losing all the progress really broke me. It must be terrible. I don't even know how I'd react in such a situation, but gah. I can't even fathom.

As for suggestions, I feel like you cold focus on the reactions and emotions of Harry and Ron as well as that seemed to have slipped by completely.
Also, there are some grammatical and punctuation errors (you're/your, apostrophe confusion). Anyway, nothing you can't fix.

That's about it from my end for this :)

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Review #14, by jessicalorewrites - rounds 6/7 Repercussions

13th April 2015:
~for the gryffie capture the flag challenge, rounds 6/7 #accioattackers

hey!

I've really been enjoying this story so far! I'm sorry I haven't left reviews on the other chapters yet, but needs must and I'm here to jailbreak ;)

first of all, I really like the little dream sequence at the beginning. I thought it was a really effective way of draco beginning to explore his feelings for hermione more and kind of shows the reader what he's unconsciously thinking about. as a personal lover of angst and inner turmoil, I think to rank up the story a bit I would've loved to see slightly more debate going on from malfoy's side, with hermione being such an unlikely candidate for his affection. it wasn't entirely unbelievable, and I actually quite enjoyed getting inside his head, but yeah..

also, I really really love the split POV thing with us getting to read all about draco's thoughts and feelings for hermione first and then going straight into a very mirrored situation with hermione thinking about draco. it was really effective in getting across how their emotions towards each other are changing. I quite liked the confusion hermione had with whether they were friends or acquaintances or what, too.

like you pointed out in your a/n I think having blaise and pansy in this chapter so soon after harry and ron would've set the pacing a little off balance. the way you've done it here is better, allowing a sort of breather for the feelings of draco/hermione to be sorted out a little before jumping straight in with blaise and pansy.

great job on the chapter!

- jess, xo

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Review #15, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Repercussions

13th April 2015:
*attack!*
I was excited to see that part of this chapter was Draco-centric. I'd been wondering what's going on inside his head.
That said, I think you could use a little more confusion on Malfoy's part about the way his feelings towards Hermione are changing. After all, he was raised his whole life thinking Muggleborns are scum, and he pretty much hated her the entire time they were at school together.
Some of my suspicions were also confirmed in this chapter. I'd been thinking that it would in fact cause Draco and Hermione quite a lot of stress to not know what the situation in the outside world was. Imagine not knowing if your friends and family are okay, or if your entire world has fallen apart. That would be horrible, and definitely not more relaxing than knowing.
It was a really good idea to not have Pansy and Blaise visit in this chapter and to leave it for the next chapter. I think if you'd put that in this chapter after having Harry and Ron visit in the last one, it definitely would have felt rushed. So good call there.
-Kayla

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Review #16, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Perseverance

13th April 2015:
*jailbreak!*
Hi Grace!
So, there are things I like and things I don't like about this chapter. I like your characterization of Ron - I can totally see him being angry about Malfoy's presence to the extent that he is. However, some of your dialogue, mostly Harry's and Hermione's, just doesn't ring true to me. For example, Hermione saying "Oh, crap" to Malfoy - it just doesn't feel like something she would say? I don't know, it's up to you how you want to characterize your characters, it's just something I noticed :)
I'm really glad Harry and Ron came to visit sooner rather than later! And I like how they just sort of casually hung out and enjoyed each other's company. That seems like exactly the sort of environment Hermione needs to heal.
Also, I think Hermione's letter-writing scene at the beginning was good. I actually wrote a similar scene recently. I think all of us have had the experience of being in a situation where we don't know what to say, or where it's hard to express ourselves. So that part really rang true for me.
-Kayla

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Review #17, by StarFeather Struggling

13th April 2015:
*Jailbreak Post Round6#7

Hi, before reading this, I had a look at the banner. Hermione was looking back, and Draco's eyes looked cool as ice. And in the beginning of the chapter, you set many hooded figures,it may be the first time for me to read the AU where Voldemort and his men are gathering. Then it seems that they found Draco cared Hermione. Okay, I talked to myself, 'I could keep reading Dramione. It's second time for me to read Dramione sicne I've first read it before.' It was a long time ago, the story was starting up in the place of the garden in Malfoy Mannor with Bellatrix, though. Then the story changed to the scene of hospital. So Draco still called Hermione,"Granger", which made me think he was still awkward toward her. And he was getting mild, too?

My interest was focused on her words, "And I can't help Harry and Ron ever again?" Two Gryffindor wizards are always my friends in my mind. And I wonder how the authors including you create the world of Dramione aside from the golden trio J.K.Rowling created. Was it easy for you or not?

I think if I were you I can't do the AU magic at all. My imagination is limited. You did a good job using her interest for the books.

Kenny

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Review #18, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Struggling

12th April 2015:
*attack!*
I'm super glad that you're showing us what's going on in the outside world with Voldemort. Oddly enough, it adds to the tension of not knowing what's going on, rather than detracting from it.

How awful that Hermione can't read! She loves reading! :( Although, I suppose that now she has no choice but to spend time with Draco... ;)

Some sentences here read awkwardly, again because of formatting. For example, "Hermione, look, I’m horrid at this make you feel better crap" was a line that I had to read twice to understand. Maybe change it to "I'm horrid at this make-you-feel-better crap". That would make it much, much easier to understand.

I really do feel terrible for Hermione. To have made such progress only for it all to be taken away would be so incredibly frustrating.

OMG! The ending is such a good cliffhanger! However, I'm confused... aren't they not supposed to have any information about the outside world, because of stress? So why did Harry let Malfoy know about the attack? Maybe I'm misunderstanding something... hm.
Anyways, this is the last chapter, but... I might end up reading the next one when you post it, just to see what happens! That's how you know you're doing a good job - when you get non-shippers hooked!
-Kayla

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Review #19, by MissesWeasley123 The Truth in The Orchard

12th April 2015:
OKAY GRACE I'M LITERALLY YELLING ASJKSDJKD ; ABOUT THAT PART WHEN DRACO GETS THE APPLE FOR HER. Okay, breathe :P

Again, as always your detail was excellent! I really liked that beginning. You have a true talent/knack for that kind of stuff that focuses on transitioning from scene to scene, chapter to chapter, etc. So yes, well done with that!

Personally, I feel like Draco opened up too quickly, if that makes sense. The only other CC I would have is that it seems OOC for Hermione to be eating while Draco's letting her in on something so personal? Just a few points to take this to the next level!

Hermione's genuine concern for Draco is so sweet too! Not only that, but the fact that Draco could warm up to her/is warming up to her... ahhh ♥ Great work!

- Nadia, AA, Round 6

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Review #20, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 The Truth in The Orchard

12th April 2015:
*attack!*
Okay, so I think some of this could be reworked so that it flows better. For example, the second sentence- "This resulted in both of them feeling the need to walk on eggshells around one another". I think it would read better if it simply said "Both of them felt the need to walk on eggshells around each other".
I'm glad Draco has started letting Hermione in, but I'm finding the way it's done a tiny bit awkward. I think his decision to go from hating Hermione to telling her his secrets actually needs to be explained a bit more thoroughly. There are ways to do this, though, so don't panic! For example, you could talk about how heavily his secrets have been weighing down on him, and say that he fears for his health as he's so stressed about his burden. He doesn't really WANT to open up to Hermione, necessarily, but is afraid of what will happen to him if he doesn't. Once he talks to her, he feels much better. This sets it up so that talking to Hermione feels like a good thing to Malfoy, and he's more likely to do it again in the future.
Sorry for all the criticism! I just want to help you improve! There are things I really like about this story, and I think it's a really unique concept :) I really liked what you did with the apples, how Hermione couldn't reach and then Draco picked one for her. I thought that was really cute :)
-Kayla

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Review #21, by MissesWeasley123 Purgatory

12th April 2015:
Hey Grace! I must confess, I've read this story before :P It was one of those days where I just read what you had written without reviewing, but I'm glad I do get to now! :P You are one of my favourite Dramione writers, as you are unique with your plot all the time and save me from those horrendous clichés! Let's begin.

Writing someone in the state of purgatory is difficult. It was interesting to see how you weaved that in. I loved how you wrote the transitions, the description of the scenes shifting, etc -- where really well done! In fact, your description throughout was great, especially this part in the beginning which really set the tone:
The rose began to disintegrate in her fingertips, and the field disappeared, darkness replacing what was once a bright and beautiful landscape. -- just WOW! Great job with that.

I'm excited to see where this goes!

-Nadia, AA - Round 6

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Review #22, by Lady Asphodel Perseverance

12th April 2015:
(Gryffindor Accio Attackers CTF Round 5: jailbreak)


Hey Grace!


Forgive me! I'm jumping into your story without reading chapters 1 & 2.



Your description of Hermione's surroundings in the beginning is amazing! It has a warm soft feeling to it. :)


I see Draco and Hermione are getting along. I really like the interaction between them two, even if it's a little awkward. And I really love the scene with Draco getting confused with the tv deal. Haha. I never would have imagined him acting like that, but it doesn't seem overly crazy.

I'm not a dramione shipper, but I have to admit, the way you are writing sways me a little.

There's nothing too off about their characters, which is what I see is most dramione fics. So really good job!



Oh! I also love how Harry and Ron (particularly Harry) for being supportive of what Hermione is going through - since she is stuck with Draco.

I can see if Draco makes one wrong move, they'll be there to step in.


I really enjoyed this! And the plot is different, and you're giving me a reason to give Dramione a shot.



- Asphodel

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Review #23, by randomwriter- round five Perseverance

12th April 2015:
hey Grace! Here for round five of CtF! This is an attack post!

I'll be honest and admit that I'm not much of a Dramione fan or reader, so I don't have much to compare this to.

I thought the idea of them being away and healing together was a good way of setting up their romance. It also ties really nicely to the name of your story. I don't know if those were your intentions, but I just noticed :) I suppose being alone, away from everything else, will push them to acknowledge each other as more, and to mend old issues.

I did think that it was a bit too easy to get Draco on the good side though. Afterall, he's been brought up with so much prejudice, and after the war and all that he has been through, I don't think he;d be warming up to the idea of being friendly with a muggleborn. Maybe he'd be a bit less hostile, given their situation, but definitely not this nice? Also, him staying out of the way was probably only so that she'd do the same for him. Maybe he'd be more in character if he made that clear form the beginning?

Also, the bit about the television really made me laugh. It was so funny to see him react like that, but it was also, again, a little out of character, for me. I don't think he'd be bothered about the people for humane reasons, nor would he believe that she was torturing people. I think he knows she wouldn't. But I definitely see him being confused or curious. I can see him picturing all the people he hates being subjected to it. Anyway, that was a funny scene :)

I'd love to stcik around and chat, but there's a flag to be found!

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Review #24, by krazyboutharryginny - round #6/7 Purgatory

12th April 2015:
*attack!*
I really, really like what you've done with this chapter. The way you've revealed outside events through Hermione fading in and out of consciousness is really clever. I also really like the opening scene with the dream about the rose. It set the tone for the whole chapter in a really cool way.
I was actually touched by Draco's terror over Hermione - which is really saying something! I'm very interested in the dream (for lack of a better word) that Hermione had about Hogwarts - basically the dream Draco's been having, but from the outside looking in, rather than from Draco's point of view. I'm eager to learn about what that means, if anything.
I do have some issues with the language, though. For example, when we hear Malfoy reacting to Hermione's fall ("Hermione, wake up!" etc), it says that she frowned. I really don't think she could frown? I get that you wanted to convey her confusion, but in trying to convey her confusion, you definitely muddied her physical state a little bit. You could take a look at that and see if there's another way to communicate her state of mind?
Reading on!
-Kayla

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Review #25, by awesomepotter - Round 6/7 Healing in Hell?

12th April 2015:
Hi! Another jailbreak for CTF!
I'm still really enjoying this story - you're doing a great job of keeping the mystery and suspense there, just underneath the surface, so that it keeps readers wanting to carry on reading. It could just be that they'll slowly get better and be able to leave the rehab house, but I have a feeling it's not going to be that easy for them. As it was Bellatrix who cast the curse, and the Healers don't even know what the curse was, I'm expecting it to be something horrible, and possiblt slow-acting, so I seriously doubt it'll be over that easily. So now you've got me all interested, I suppose I'll just have to keep reading ;)
You're also doing a really nice job with the characters, still. I know that a lot of people who dislike Dramione say they have a problem with them getting over their school grudges and getting
along, but I think you've covered that nicely. As they're in a potentially dangerous situation - being hit by and unknown curse - and Draco tried to save Hermione from it during the battle, it helps to bring down a fair few of their walls between each other. WHilst they're not exactly best friends, they are, at least, talking to each other. So, even if other people might not think so, I think you've covered that potentioal problem area very well so far. Both Draco and Hermione are also written very well in their own right, not just in their interations with each other.
I'm going to carry on reading now, but well done! Keep going!

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