I liked this, it's short, but interesting. You reveal a little about the characters through their actions, which is good. Far too often do stories begin with 'Hi I'm Mary Sue and I am blah blah'. I really liked the way you slowly show their personalities. Good job! There were a few typos, but they are most likely from typing too quickly, as you didn't make the same grammatical errors everywhere. I like this and will be watching out for it. FleurAuthor's Response: I'm really glad you liked it! With this being my first story and you being my first reviewer, it sort of just hit me that I am an author. It's exciting! Thank you again for taking the time to comment. Report Review
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