Reading Reviews for Things Left Unsaid
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by daliha Things Left Unsaid

1st January 2012:
Dorcas's feelings are so realistic, in fact I remembered a crush I had on a guy. I would stare at him, try and a get a seat close to him... Anyway this is such a nice one shot I'll fave it so I can have it close :)

Author's Response: I channeled my inner teenage girl while reading this, so I'm glad that you were able to relate to Dorcas while reading this! I think we are all guilty of doing stupid things in front of the boys we liked when we were Dorcas's age. The things we do for men... :P

That's very sweet of you to favourite it, thanks so much for your review!
Joop.


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Review #2, by Secret Santa V Things Left Unsaid

29th December 2011:
Hello again! It is me, your santa!

I usually don't like stories written in present tense at all - it tends to annoy me. However, I should have known that a story written by you would be an exception to the rule. (Well, I did know it, kind of. Or at least, I suspected it. Which is why I clicked on it. But that's not the point.)

What is the point, you ask?

That this is awesome.

There were a couple points that felt a little awkward. "The fifteen-minute warning rung through the Great Hall a few minutes ago" felt a bit awkward to me for some reason.

But besides that, there's nothing wrong with this story, and a whole lot that's right with it. You included so many little details about Dorcas that really brought her to life. It didn't feel like I was reading about a character - it felt like I was reading about a person. Her impatience, the fact that she timed her entrance into class so that she would sit close to him, her slight jealousy, her deep pride… as someone who was a teenage girl not so long ago, I could completely, 100% understand and empathize with that, and I loved it.

And I love the ending. Most people would want a conclusive end, even if it was a prequel, but you didn't take the simple way out. (I'm not surprised. You seem to like leaving one-shots unresolved but cautiously optimistic.) It's just a lovely ending to a powerful piece, and I am so glad that you wrote it.

I also love (am I overusing that word?) the way that you took one little moment from the books and expanded it like this. I always wondered just a little about that girl, and you took her, wrote a one-shot about her, and will have forever enhanced my reading of that chapter in the books.

I can't wait until secret santa is over so I can favorite you as an author and all your stories that I've read and nominate your stories for the story of the month. I might have been lying about the Coffee Shop, though… that might have to wait, because I can see myself finding another story of yours that I like even better!

Author's Response: Why, hello there! :P

A lot of people have mentioned the present tense. To be honest, I didn't even realise that it was in present tense until people started commenting on it. I'm glad that you didn't dislike this purely because of the tense, though!

Now that you write it out like that, that sentence is a bit awkward. And I know that parts of this are also awkward, I will have a look at them! I really ned to stop being so independent and get myself a beta one of these days. Thank you for that, though, I will definitely take it into consideration when I have the time to!

It's lovely that you were able to sympathise with her! As someone who was also a teenage girl not so long ago, I had a lot of fun writing this and I adore whenever a reader tells me that they could relate to her. I tried hard with her character and it's always nice to know that readers enjoyed reading her as much as I enjoyed writing her!

I don't believe that one-shots should contain an entire story in them. Maybe it's my misunderstanding of them, but the way that I write them is that I just want them to be a small moment in someone's life, a glimpse. I don't particularly love having very conclusive endings in one-shots, and I'm glad that you didn't feel empty at the end of this. I think there is hope for Dorcas and Sirius yet. I do have their story in my head and I do really want to write it, we will just have to see if I can squeeze in the time to!

I love taking small moments into the books! I did it for the House Cup collab of 2011 and I am in the process of combing through the books as we speak to see if I can find another. It's nice to know that you enjoyed it!

You really are took kind. You make me blush, smile and feel all mushy inside every time I read one of your reviews!

Joop.


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Review #3, by Secret Santa *hands you a candy cane* Things Left Unsaid

20th December 2011:
Here I am once again. I bet your tired of seeing your Secret Santa pop up in your unanswered reviews but you'll only have to deal with me awhile longer.

I didn't realize you had written a companion piece to the other Dorcas and Sirius one-shot. I was pleasantly surprised! This actually forced more answers into my head instead of answers to my questions but I think that's a good thing because I really don't want answers to their relationship. I don't want to know if they or if they don't get together.

Like the ending, it is nice to dream about what happens between the two between the two one-shots and even after (of course disregarding Sirius dying and every other negative thing).

What I really like above all in this was the doodles she found on her paper and just how mortified she was at seeing what she had written. Reminds me of every girl that I've known and myself even. When you're young you think that every boy you like is going to be the one or something or other. You make doodles and write his name in a loopy handwriting because you can't get him off your mind. That really made me sit back and recall some good memories.

This too made Dorcas and the situation very believable:

She feels that, despite how much more attention she subconsciously pays to her appearance (she has accepted that it is a lost cause and no amount of stern talking to herself will stop her from spending half an hour more getting ready than she really needs to), she is not going to compromise her dignity for him. She owes herself that much.

Author's Response: You have to be joking, don't you? How could I ever tire of seeing you pop up in my reviews? I have felt a bit rotten in the last few weeks and your reviews have been such a big boost for me. I don't know how I am ever going to be able to properly thank you for them.

This does fit in the universe of Whispers of Yesterday, but it is much earlier. That is all I am going to tell you. I don't know if I will ever write Sirius and Dorcas's story, but know that they did definitely have a good run when they were together. At least, that's how I seem then in my head, anyway.

Writing this was a joy. I really chanelled my inner fourteen-year-old girl in this and I am guilty of feeling exactly like Dorcas in this. I definitely agree with you about how you can easily think that every boy you think is The One. Ah, good times. :P

That last sentence was a bit of a throwback to my inner slight feminist. I have never been a fan of girls who throw themselves at boys and I wanted Dorcas to be your average teenage girl but your average teenage girl with some dignity and sense.

Thanks for your kind words,
Joop.


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Review #4, by Pixileanin Things Left Unsaid

11th August 2011:
Gosh, this was a good read. I didn't even realize that you had written a quasi-companion piece to that other one-shot until just now, so I'm glad I stumbled across it. It was as well done as the other one. I think my favorite part was when Dorcas stared down in horror at the parchment full of doodles. The way you described her reaction to what she'd unconsciously done was fantastic. It is nice to dream. I liked the ending, with a spark of hope.

pixileanin (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: This one is quite different to my other Sirius/Dorcas story and I'm the first to admit that this was a little bit of indulgence on my part. It was fun to think back to being a lovestruck teenager and I had a lot of fun writing it, so it's lovely to know that you enjoyed it!

Ah, yes. The parchment of doodles - haven't we all been there? I can imagine her being horrified and, again, it was a lot of fun to do!

I deliberately kept the ending a little hopeful because there is a small chance that I will write their story one day. In my head, I can see it very clearly and I don't know if I ever will but watch this space!

Thanks so much for your review,
Joop.


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Review #5, by Akussa Things Left Unsaid

10th February 2011:
This was simply amazing. So, so well written, heartwrenching.
Having been in this situation, it brought back so many memories (and not necessarily good ones, sadly), it was perfectly in tune with what I have known.
The story was flawless and flowed perfectly. And you know what I enjoyed most about this? The fact that it doesn't end well necessarily. Things don't change, she keeps on dreaming and he keeps on being oblivious, like it usually is in the real world.

That was a really great read, you have such a nice quality to your writing, it's a real treat to stumble on your work.

Akussa

Author's Response: We've all been in this situation, I think. It's not a nice one to be in but it's familiar to me. I know that I was channelling my inner fourteen-year-old when I wrote this.

Flawless? I'm not sure about that, but it means a lot that you think so!

I'm glad you liked the ending. I didn't want to rush it and make it unrealistic, but I also didn't want to leave it hanging. It was hard to get right but it's nice to know that it worked! I do have plans to write a future Sirius/Dorcas story but I don't know if it will ever happen. For now, we'll just let Dorcas dream.

That last sentence you wrote... I think I've read it about ten times but I'm still stunned by it. You don't know how much your words mean to me. You really don't.

Thank you so much for your review!
Joop :)


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Review #6, by ericajen Things Left Unsaid

7th February 2011:
Aw, Joop, you never fail to impress. I loved your other piece about Sirius and Dorcas and this one is just as beautiful.

I love that although it's kind of sad and heartbreaking, you put a feeling of hope into it. It gives it such a sweet touch and makes it all the more better to read. The way you characterize Dorcas, even in just a one-shot, is very well done. She's sweet and nice and shy but not overly done.

Her crush on Sirius is absolutely adorable. She's so lovesick. The idea of her doodling on that parchment was really nice. Especially at the end when she decided to keep it and hold on to that dream for as long as possible. One should never give up on their dreams, even if their dream is Sirius Black (:

Well done as always, Joop! You are amazing a million times over.

Erica.

Author's Response: Glad you liked this as much as you liked the other one! I hope that one day they do get their happy ending. I love Dorcas and I think she deserves to be with Sirius.

Characterising Dorcas was tough. I wanted to make her shy but a bit girly but not cliche and I can't tell you how many times I rewrote parts of it thinking that it was too overdone. So thank you for your compliments on her character!

I didn't want to make this one too sad, so that element of hope was a must in this one. Glad you liked it!

She is lovesick. I loved writing her crush, it really took me back to when I was around her age. And I entirely agree that she should never give up her dream.

You are amazing a million and one times over for this review!

Thanks so much,
Joop.


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Review #7, by Hyacinth Dursley Things Left Unsaid

7th February 2011:
Welcome to the Great Gryffie Egg Hunt! Thanks again for signing up! I love the story! It's a great expansion on the little snippet from the books. I like Dorcas and her determination to not be one more of the adoring horde. Poor Sirius. ;D Light, Humorous and a fun read! E for Exceeds Expectations!

Author's Response: Glad to sign up, it looks like it's going to be fun!

I always like taking a small sentence that a lot of people may look over and turning into something. Glad to know that you liked this!

Ha, the adoring horder. Something tells me that it wouldn't take much for Dorcas to join them if she let her guard slip.

Wow, an E! That's awesome!

Thanks so much for your review,
Joop :)


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Review #8, by bostongurll33 Things Left Unsaid

12th January 2011:
Oh, wow. This was totally amazing. I, unfortunately, have been in the same position as Dorcas, and I know exactly how she feels in this story. Your depiction of her is flawless, and it is so refreshing to read a one-shot like this that doesn't have some sort of drastic happy-ending. Your grammer was wonderful, as was your word-choice; to be honest, it was pretty much perfect. I'll be going to read your other stories right now, so expect to see some more reviews. :)

Author's Response: I've also been in her position, haven't we all? I had a lot of fun revisiting my younger self in this and remembering what it's like to stare at someone with longing.

Dorcas and Sirius may get their happy ending if I choose to write their story. I don't know if I will, but it was certainly not planned for this. I'm glad that you liked that it didn't have a happy ending. I don't like it when happy endings are squished into the last paragraphs of a one-shot and I'm just glad that the somewhat lack of plot in this wasn't too horrible to read!

I'm thrilled at your praise. I don't know about it being "pretty much perfect" but I certainly enjoyed writing it and it's nice to know that you enjoyed reading it! My use of parentheses in this was an experiment and I think my writing style is quite different in this to what I normally write. I was a little worried about grammar in that regard, so it's a relief to know that it all worked!

You really are too kind!

Thanks so much for your review,
Joop :)


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