Reading Reviews for Nothing
  
31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Your Ravenclaw Secret Santa Nothing

24th December 2011:
I think the song you choose goes perfectly with the theme and emotions of the story. I thought the song quotes were well placed with the exception of the 4th one, I was expecting him to be confronting Rose immediately after that line, as that's what had happened with the 3 previous ones (the song quotes directly reflected Scorpius' actions). So my suggestion would be moving the 4th song quote to after "Now my friends are trying to calm me down; trying to prevent me from embarrassing myself any more than I already have."
That's the only suggestion I can think of. Otherwise I think you captured someone coming to terms with the end of a relationship perfectly. I liked how you kept Rose's reasoning a mystery for the reader, so we can guess them for ourselves. Perhaps you'd consider a companion type piece detailing either the break up or the aftermath for Rose? I'd read it!
Poor Scorpius, you really pull at the readers' heartstrings with this piece. I just want to give him a hug and tell him it'll be okay!

Your Secret Santa

Author's Response: I hadn't thought of the placement of the 4th quote so much before, but I definitely see what you mean.
Yay! You understood why I didn't reveal the reason for their break up. :D I shall definitely consider writing a related/companion story to this, yes.
Thank you for a lovely review! Hugs for Scorpius!

-Sophia


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Review #2, by NaidatheRavenclaw Nothing

12th August 2011:
This was such a sad songfic!

I think you did a really nice job of melding the song lyrics and your story together. They complimented each other perfectly, but your story wasn't just a retelling of the song, which can happen a lot with songfics. You struck the perfect balance.

I felt so bad for Scorpius while reading this. Especially at the end, because I was holding out for them to get together. But that last paragraph was heart breaking. Especially that last sentence. "I've got nothing now". It was the perfect way to end this story! ^.^

Happy staff/prefects Friday and thanks for the amazing summer! *hugs*
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this, especially Scorpius and Rose's failed relationship. I think I might need to make some changes to it at some point but I'll leave as it is for now. ^^

Thank you, and you're welcome! ;) *hugs*

-Sophia


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Review #3, by maskedmuggle Nothing

6th August 2011:
Heya Sophia! :)

You left a request on my review thread, and I am so terrible that I'm reviewing your fic now, after more than half a year! Oh well, I hope this helps you somewhat anyway! And I'm so sorry for the extreme lateness!

I really loved this story of yours! Well written, and I enjoyed reading it a lot! I especially liked how you wrote Scorpius and Rose's relationship, a lot different to what other people do!

Since this is a song fic, I thought the song lyrics were very relevant to the story. I suppose if you were looking for improvements it would be the relationship of the song lyrics to the actual story. The lyrics aren't really making me think at all. The lyrics are basically telling the same story as the one you've got written. To make a song fic really outstanding, it's got to be more thought-provoking in a way. I'm probably not making much sense, but I thought you could have done a little more on the lyrics and the text to connect them in a more.. complex and interesting way.

"you are Scorpius Malfoy", I would change it to 'you're', to make it flow better.

Your areas of concern were: Flow of the story, characterisation and improvements. I think I'll be covering improvements along the way, so I"ll talk about flow now. I think it flowed pretty well. It all made sense to me and the story moved at a good pace.

Characterisation wise, both Scorpius and Rose are a little dull, so you could make them more 'real' and bring them more to life. Like, I can't really think of any personality traits to describe them from what I've seen them saying and doing in this chapter. Maybe stubborn, but that's pretty much it.

I do like how Scorpius was trying to recover from the breakup by doing nothing. Sometimes people write guys recovering from breakups by going out and kissing every single girl they meet. It was also a nice change to see the GUY all upset, instead of the girl!

Plot wise, it all was great! I liked the story you were telling. Maybe you could add some of the history of their relationship, and explain why Scorpius was so in love with Rose, so we can understand what he's feeling a little more. Maybe add some more description/emotions as well. Just a small thing though. Overall, very nicely written Sophia, and I really liked reading it! I hope this helped you, even if just a little bit.

- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: Oh, Charlotte! What a lovely long review! Don't worry, I'm so bad at filling review threads in a reasonable time too, :P But the Review Fest was a great time to catch up. ;)

Thank you so much for the advice about how to make it better. I know what you mean about the lyrics should make the reader think, and when I get around to editing, I shall have to think of how to improve that. And developing both their characters a bit more.

You really have helped me, Charlotte! Thank you! ^^

-Sophia


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Review #4, by LilyFire Nothing

6th July 2011:
It's sad, really, but I can't help but like it. I feel soo sorry for Scorp. He can't seem to let her go when she's fully over him.
I love how you made this song-fic. It's a wonderful story (again)! I really liked it and can't really find anything to complain about.
~Lily

Author's Response: I'm glad Scorpius came across that way; I feel sorry for him myself. Thanks for reviewing :)

-Sophia


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Review #5, by charlottetrips Nothing

5th May 2011:
This was a well-written moment about Scorpius' loss and all his feeling surrounding it. Although there is no explanation for Rose's sudden breaking off--other than she was unhappy and Scorp just didn't see it (a not untypical example of a male, mind you)--the story pulled along quite well just on Scorpius going through his angsty on it.

Really in the end, one just has pity for him because what else are you supposed to feel for a drunk?

x Char

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you're helping out the Blues so much! :D

I deliberately left it without any explanation to allow the reader to decide for themselves what they think Rose's reason for breaking up with Scorpius is. I do feel sorry for Scorpius, mainly because his love for Rose isn't reciprocated, but you're right, What else are you supposed to feel for a drunk?

Thanks Char!

-Sophia x


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Review #6, by AlPadfootPotter96 Nothing

1st May 2011:
Very nice - I really liked it!
I haven't read a lot of stories with Rose completely rejecting Scorpius or with him begging at her feet, so this was definitely a good switch from the norm.
I also really liked that it was just a short snippet, though important, of Scorpius's life.
At times you could have used some more sophisticated word choice, but you conveyed the message well anyway.
Great job! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

I've read plenty of stories where Rose is devastated after losing Scorpius so I decided to try something different with this story. :)

Thanks again.

-Sophia


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Review #7, by Ali4077 Nothing

14th April 2011:
Hello!! Great and very sad story, this is me WolfieAli from the forums by the way finally getting onto one of these reviews I owe you :D

Anyway this was really well written and you really got right into Scorpius' emotions. I loved how he didn't fall for some other girl even when he was drunk, he just kept thinking about her.

I also loved the line "I can't live without her; she's my drug." It said a lot I think :)

I really liked how you got him drunkenly shouting his love for her at random passers by. It really does emphasise what he feels for her and makes you as a ready feel terrible for him.. or it did me anyway. You did a brilliant job describing that.

I love ScoRose but I still loved the story even if I wanted to shout at the girl to take him back at the end :D That bit when he realises finally it really is over is so sad.. but brilliantly written all the same.

Great job! I have no faults with it.. unless I've missed something but I loved it even if I normally tend to go for lighter ScoRose :D Thanks for bringing my attention to it x

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing :)

I'm glad you liked it so much, you didn't find any faults! :D The ending is very sad and I wish it didn't have to end that way. I hate seeing Scorpius so upset.

Thanks again!

-Sophia x


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Review #8, by BellaFan202 Nothing

28th March 2011:
I think I may have read this before and didn't review, because I just got a huge dose of deja vu...

I love this so much!

You used the song so well, it really accented the story. It really was great.

I really do love the last paragraph of this. I don't know why, but it really speaks to me, you know?

~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

P.S. I just realized I beta'd this. I feel really stupid. I think I need to go to sleep. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks fore reviewing :)

Lol. I don't mind if you reviewed when you've beta'ed. :) Although your deja vu made me laugh :P

I'm glad you like it. I'm pretty pleased with it myself ;)

-Sophia x


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Review #9, by kirstenalanna Nothing

23rd March 2011:
kirstenalanna from the forums here!

Alright- review time!!

Characterization:
Your characters were well developed, however, I felt them a little shallow. It's hard with one shots to write very deep characters that resonate with readers, but it can be done. When there is dialogue add descriptions of facial expressions, tone influction etc. Also, show how the character is feeling, don't tell.

Plot:
This story makes me wonder why Rose broke it off with poor Scorp. I sympathise with Scorpius (I'm not sure if that's where you were going with it.)

Readability:
It was readable. There were a few grammar/ punctuation slipups (watch dialogue punctuation) that were slightly distracting and a few awkward jumps and descriptions but other than that it was very readable.

Overall:
Good job! Keep writing :)

kirstenalanna

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing so quickly!

'Show how the character is feeling, don't tell.' - that's a brilliant piece of advice,and reading back on my story, I can see what you mean.

I deliberately kept it vague about why Rose broke up with Scorpius. And yes, I'm glad you sympathised with him. :)

Thanks again!

-Sophia x


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Review #10, by justonemorefic Nothing

17th March 2011:
Oh Scorrr~ You poor drunk puppy you. This fic just makes me want to run up and hug him and be all YOU DON'T NEED HER and LISTEN TO ALBUS. I like how Albus is there being a buddy as best as he can. And I quite like how it ends as well, with Rose not taking him back. Scorpius is in quite a state of desperation and you don't sugarcoat that in the least.

I think sometimes you could improve the words of some bits, like "I greet her exuberantly." I get what you're trying to get across, but I think it needs an additional line of description, to explain that kind of plastered look he has, if that makes any sense at all xD

Author's Response: Hey Gina!

I'm glad you wanted to comfort Scorpius; Rose was definitely too mean to him! :P

Thanks for the tip, I'll try and edit that in :)

-Sophia x


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Review #11, by strawberrydarhling Nothing

17th March 2011:
My first reaction when I had finished reading this was sympathy for Scorpius for he loves Rose and she has broken up with him for no reason (? - I don't know, I don't think you mentioned whether there was a reason or not).

And honestley I thought there wasn't really very much going on here, besides Scorpius getting drunk to forget his ex-girlfriend, but nevertheless I still enjoyed this.

:)

Megan
xx

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)

I decided to leave the reason Rose broke up with Scorpius unanswered.

-Sophia x


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Review #12, by Aiedail Nothing

7th March 2011:
hey! i actually read this story before, but didn't leave a review... :( bad lily!
anyways, i'm back now to let you know that i really like this! i'm so biased and prejudiced that i usually skip right over songfics--usually the literal interpretation of the story of the song drives me absolutely crazy--but i think this song helps in that the story is a little ambiguous, and your writing is good enough that i almost didn't need the lyrics there :)
i like your characterization--the only problem is that i see that albus is trying to be a good friend to scorp, but i would think that he'd have more to say about why he should get over rose, something from her point of view, perhaps! it's not really necessary--your story still functions successfully without this--i was just a little surprised that he wasn't coming up with some kind of excuse on her part ;)
again with the biases, but i sort of automatically like a story that doesn't end how you want it to--of course i want rose to let him in, listen to him--but like in real life, she doesn't and he has to deal with it, even though he clearly doesn't believe he'll make it out alive! i think the thoughts are realistic--being one who has tendencies towards the melodramatic when i'm having a hard time, i find his hopelessness not overdone and particularly apt for the situation.
although the turns were rather sudden, i can see where you're emulating the song in this. it all works! i really like the end result :) you're a great writer, and this, like your other stories, is very lovely to read.
--lily

Author's Response: Hey Lily!

A lot of people don't read many song fics so I'm pleased you decided to review this :)

Perhaps when I get around to editing this, I will include a little more from Albus defending Rose.

Thanks for your lovely review, again! I'd say you certainly do deserve an award for best quality reviews :D

-Sophia x


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Review #13, by huffleherbs Nothing

7th March 2011:
Albus doesn't seem very sympathetic or positive about his cousin! I understand that he's Scorpius's best friend, but he's related to Rose too.

That's literally my only flaw, because I love this! I'm not a fan of song-fics, and when I opened my thread I was tempted to put it under what I wouldn't read. You've used the lyrcis brilliantly, and I really feel sympathetic for Scorpius. The characterization is fantastic and you really do want them to get back together.

I just listened to the song too, so thank you for that! :D Keep writing things like this and feel free to resubmit more stories! :)

Author's Response: Hey!
I'm glad you reconsidered about reading this! I know song fics aren't everybody's cup of tea so I appreciate you reviewing it :)

Don't worry, I will be requesting more reviews from you ;)

-Sophia x


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Review #14, by Miss MarlaG Nothing

5th March 2011:
awww! this was so sad! i feel bad for scorpius -why is rose so mean? why doesnt she want him anymore? he loves her so much that he awknowledges it when drunk, and drunk people always tell the truth. and she still slammed the door in his face.
I hate her.
but i liked this, so be happy! i have to check out that song :D
woo hoo! 10/10!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad you liked it!! :) And don't hate Rose. I'm sure she had a good reason for dumping him... although I'm not sure what :)

You definitely have to listen to the song. It's amaizing :D

Thanks, hun :)

-Sophia x


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Review #15, by libby103 Nothing

2nd March 2011:
Hey!

So I'm a sucker for plots involving desperation, so I loved this, especially Scorpius's narrative. This was a little short, and I would've loved it even more if there was some memory or if something was added in the narrative explaining their break-up a little more-like what her reasons were and how she was doing after the break-up.

Your characters are all Next-Generation, so there's not any problems with your characterization. I would have preferred some more elaboration on Rose's character, as all we learn about her is that she broke up with Scorpius, nothing else. Umm, Albus and Rose are supposed to be close as cousins, I would've liked some interaction between the two of them or something like that. Scorpius's character was wonderful, I felt with him when he was screaming that he loved Rose to a random person on the street. That was a really good moment in my opinion.

Your writing style is great. I think that you conveyed Scorpius's emotions throughout the entire story perfectly. The flow during the transition between Scorpius thinking Rose still loved him and and him realizing she didn't was a bit rough, however. The beginning didn't really hook me in, but as I read on, I started to get really into it, Scorpius's thoughts were great and enthralling, especially the last few lines of course.

Overall, great story. Narrative is wonderful.

from,
Liberty (Libby103)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it :)

I decided to keep this focused on Scorpius which is why there is hardly any information about Rose. That is also why I didn't include the reason for Rose breaking up with Scorpius.

Thanks again!

-Sophia x


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Review #16, by TheProphecy Nothing

1st March 2011:
Heyy!!!

Oh my gosh I loved this one! The lyrics worked perfectly. I loved you characterisation of Scorpius. I thought you dealt with the emotions well and I loved you got him drunk.

I died a little inside at the ending, but it was good! Very realistic.

Well done Sophia, I just wish I had more to say but I always seem to be gushing at your fics ;)

Hannah x

Author's Response: Thanks Hannah!

I'm glad you liked this one too! I'm going to have to try harder to write a story where you can tell me things to improve ;)

Sophia x


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Review #17, by Ginny45 Nothing

25th February 2011:
Hi!
Because I have a new love for Next Gen and I adore the script I picked this story. :)

I was singing whilst reading, It made me smile. You also make the events of the story fit the song really well without it sounding stunted and awkward.

Poor Scorp, the ending is really effective though. You really affect the reader because the language is so simple but it speaks volumes.

It is so believeable, that is what is amazing. You could see a drunk man who had just had his heartbroken doing this, they probably do. Just that alone makes this really effective.

Another great story I should just do the last one on your page haha.

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!

I love your reviews. When I write more stories I am definitely asking you to review!!!

Thanks hun ^^

-Sophia xxx


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Review #18, by redherring Nothing

20th February 2011:
Firstly, The Script = love. And the song is brilliant so I listened to it while reading this :D Secondly, I'm so sorry for not getting round to this sooner - I know it's been a while you requested a review and I don't even have a decent excuse, so I do apologise. Thirdly, I really rather enjoyed this!

I really like the idea for it - there's something very refreshing about a Scorose fic where they don't work out and live happily ever after. I felt the plot was realistic too - a couple of mates going out for a drink to get over a relationship is definitely the kind of thing that happens in real life xD I thought Scorpius was well characterised and I especially liked Albus there at the beginning.

I do feel it was all a little rushed, though, everything seemed to happen rather quickly. A little more detail in places, perhaps? I also felt the ending could have had more impact, it was a little weak in my opinion, as well as a little abrupt.

Something I really liked, though, was the use of the lyrics - they can often feel somewhat superfluous in songfics, but here I really thought they actually added something to the piece. Overall, very nice job with this, and again I'm very sorry for the wait :(

Author's Response: Hey! Don't worry about the lateness of the review, I understand :) Thank you for taking the time to do this.

I've not read a ScoRose fic that hasn't ended happily so I thought I'd do one myself. I tried to make it realistic so i'm glad you thought it was so :)

Thanks for the criticism. When I get around to reviewing and editing this, I'll definitely take into account what you've said.

Thanks again! ^^

-Sophia x


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Review #19, by iamlilypotter Nothing

20th February 2011:
Eep! My favorite pairing!

I'm just going to review the same way I have been!

What I like - Do I even have to complement your writing anymore? It so amazing! I can tell you put a lot of work into your stories and that you really try to know what the characters are thinking. Am I right? Well, even if I'm wrong, the characters act just like real people, not like robots, or unrealistic people.

What I don't like - Of course it broke my heart to see poor Scorpius broken, and I don't think Rose would act like that. The way you write makes it seem reasonable, but it so sad. :(

I hope Scorpius finds somebody else!

~Renee

9/10

Author's Response: Hi Renee!

I love ScoRose too! I do try to understand my characters, as hard as it can sometimes be. And I try hard to make it realistic and believable (Dramione is the exception :P).

I decided to leave out the story of why they broke up so I'm not sure myself whether Rose would even behave like that! It would have had to have been something very serious for that to happen.

I hated writing Scorpius so devastated and it took a lot of rewrites to get his part right.

Thanks again, hun :)

-Sophia x


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Review #20, by HarrietHopkirk Nothing

16th February 2011:
Aaaw! This is a reall moving one-shot! I don't know why, but everything just seems more poignant when your drunk, for example when Scorpius was telling strangers in the street how much he loved Rose, that was particularly moving because he was just speaking his mind, and he was so happy and he thought that she still loved him back. But it was just the alcohol talking and all that. The story really works with the song you chose, and your writing style is good - you use a wide range of sentence structures, which works with the slightly inebriated tone of Scorpius' narrative. Overall, a great one-shot! Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :)

I loved writing this story because the effects of alcohol does strange things to a person's thoughts and emotions. It was certainly interesting to write those effects into a story.

Sophia x


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Review #21, by silverstarletworld89 Nothing

15th February 2011:
OMG! Rose/Scorpius are my favourite ship ever and this, OMG it was so beautifully sad. I actually welled up about half way through, I am such a sucker for romance novels and when there isn't a happy ending I tend to bawl like a baby. Are you going to write a sequel? please tell me your writing a sequel lol?!?! I understand if you don't though real life never always has happy endings:-(. Such a beautiful story and so glad that I read it :-D

99/10!! (you would of had one hundred but you made me cry lol)

Silverstarletworld89:-D

Author's Response: Hey!

Oh, I'm so happy you loved it! I love ScoRose too and although I think they belong together, when I heard this song I HAD to write this for them.

I won't be writing a sequel because I think it works well on its own! :)

Thanks for your lovely review :D

Sophia x


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Review #22, by hpgrl Nothing

12th February 2011:
Hi! this was short and sweet. it wasn't lacking in description or dialogue and you weaved in the lyrics seemlessly. the story was plausable and well written. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, hpgirl. I'm glad you liked it. :)

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Review #23, by BrightStar Nothing

11th February 2011:
Umm... I'm sad now, and may need to eat some chocolate... which translates to great job in conveying the emotions! Your writing style is really easy to read, and you dealt well with the lyrics - sometimes they make the whole thing incoherent, but that wasn't the case here at all.

The only problem I had was that I would have liked a little more character background, and a little on their relationship and why it ended. However, I still really like this story, I'm glad I read it :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing :)

I'm glad I managed to get those emotions across to you and that you liked it.

I did consider putting a little bit of information about their relationship but I decided I wanted to keep it short and sweet and a little bit vague :P

Thanks again,

Sophia x


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Review #24, by EarthsTrueGreen Nothing

11th February 2011:
I really enjoyed it. You should expand on it & make like a short story or something out of it almost like a sequal.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

I'm glad you liked it but I think I'll keep it as a songfic. I think it works well on its own. :)

Thanks x


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Review #25, by Roonyskatoony Nothing

10th February 2011:
Aw poor Scorpius :(

I know this is most probably a really stupid thing to say (considering it's a song fic and all) but you did a really good job at actually making the story GO with the song, I loved how each new scene was marked with a new verse of lyrics...oh and I love the song too :P

I think perhaps you could work on the flow at bit, it seemed a bit choppy at times but other than that, I really liked it! :D

Well done!
~Roonyskatoony~

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! :)

I've been getting really good responses from this song-fic so I'm really pleased you agree.

Thanks for the advice. If/when I get round to editing this, I'll try to improve the flow. :)

Thanks again,

Sophia x


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