Reading Reviews for La Malédiction
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ilharrypotter Prologue

4th April 2011:
This most definitely has promise. I do love to read about anything involved with the French Revolution. Very nice; I like it so far!

Longer chapters, perhaps?

Author's Response: Thank you very much :) I'm very much interested in it as well.

The do get longer, but as a Prologue I didn't want to give too much away.

x Ely

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Review #2, by huffleherbs Parler des enfants

7th March 2011:
Your authors note has cleared up a couple of questions I had.

I know that they're speaking old French, but the dialogue still seems a bit too clunky and forced. By all means, don't colloquilise or modernise the language if you don't want to (in fact, I'd really recommend not "updating" it) but you might want to just read the dialogue aloud. It almost sounds as if you're trying to emulate the dialogue from the Dr Who episode. It's fine: but maybe consider getting a beta for the finer points like these.

I'm also slightly confused as to who these people are, I think you need to go into a bit more detail and background in the story. The prologue and the first chapter don't really link up, so maybe have another look at that.

It's a good fic overall but needs some minor editing. Look into getting a beta. Keep writing and resumbit for review when you have some more chapters!

Author's Response: I do have a beta and I asked her about this and she thinks that she may not have acutally gone over this so we plan on fixing that up very quickly.

Okay, I admit I didn't explain that- The prologue was ten years into the future for Chapter One. So yeah, I go backwards.

Thank you so much for taking your time to review.

x Ely

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Review #3, by huffleherbs Prologue

7th March 2011:
This is very short, even for a prologue. I would have liked to see a bit more detail of what I'm sure is a gorgeous setting, as it's set in a manor!

It's very hard to tell whether your main character is a witch, although I'd have to assume that she is for obvious reasons.

I can't say much more about this because it's so short, so I'm going to review the next chapter as well. Keep writing!

Author's Response: I wanted to sort of keep this chapter short and sweet because in a sense this is really the end of the entire fic and I didn't want to give much away.

Yes, Sylvie is a witch. I just wasn't quite sure how to through that in there.

Thank you for taking the time to review.

x Ely

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Review #4, by AquariaJasmyne Parler des enfants

6th March 2011:
Ely! :D I could have sworn I already reviewed the second chapter...I'm obviously deluded, hehe! So here I am!

Ahh, you know I love this story. I love how you introduced Vilette and Ariele - they both have such distinctive personalities! And are both so different I really can't wait to see more of them!!!

The maid seems so lovely. I hope she's going to be here for a bit, hehe :) and I can't wait to read about the Masquerade! Oh, and the ending was so chilling, yet again. Gah, UPDATE, RATTIE!

Love Lizzie :)


Author's Response: Haha, apparently not.

Yes, Yes I do. And plently more there will be.

I'm working on it sweetie, I really, really am.

x Ely

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Review #5, by AquariaJasmyne Prologue

6th January 2011:
Yay! It's posted!

Aw, such a sad chapter :( I always get heartbroken whenever children say some thing like "Mummy's not coming home is she?" It's just so chilling!

Poor Sylvie. She's been through so much! And yet she's so strong! You seem to be rather good at writing children, my dear, especially with such dark theme's around, too.

Anyway, update soon, Ely!!! You know I adore this story ^_^


Author's Response: Haha, thank you my wonderful beta!

I adore writing children because for some reason I find them easier to write than adults.

Already in the queue love!

x Ely

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