4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Santa-of the secret kind. Prologue - Lycan's Lane

19th December 2011:
I like this a lot! I love your description, it is amazing! And it is a great start and I cannot wait to see what happens next! I already said it but I love this so much, all your stories are incredible!

Your SS

Author's Response: First off, thanks for chosing my older stories to review!
I've had some trouble with the next chapter, but who knows, with holidays just around the corner, I might dive into it again. I would loathe to abandon it.

Merry Christmas, and maybe I'll hear from you again ;)


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Review #2, by magicmuggle01 A Ray of Hope

22nd January 2011:
Again a very good chapter. I like the sound of this Rowan character, could she be the saviour of Moriah? only time will tell. Again 10/10. Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement! I like Rowan too, she turned out better than I thought.
I'll do my best concerning updates!
Thanks again for reviewing :)


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Review #3, by magicmuggle01 Prologue - Lycan's Lane

22nd January 2011:
What a brilliant first chapter. It appears to have been well thought out. I must read chapter two. I give you 10/10 for this chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for that lovely review :D

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Review #4, by notreallyblonde44 Prologue - Lycan's Lane

7th January 2011:
Hello Leo! It's notreallyblonde44 here to do the review for my challenge :) Thank you for participating and a short story too woot! Because of the length I can't imagine I will have much to write haha.

Already, you've opened up with great description and diction. Your word choice is varied and precise (except for two intimidating), I clearly see what you are trying to get me to envision. Good job!

'Few others were out and about' -others? Lol I'm not sure if this was supposed to be vague, but it seemed awkward to me because I wasn't sure what others was referring to...people? Creatures?

I like Moriah's name, it's creative. I want to look it up, but I think I'm going to keep the suspense and creativity alive :P

'He did not dare to look back, just scurried away as fast as he could manage.' -missing a he before just

'He spotted some old papers lying about.' -about where? A hint more detail about his surroundings wouldn't hurt.

Solid opening. It was short, but it left me wondering what's happening next to the poor kid (I assume he's young, yes?). I wonder what the warmth he felt was and where it was coming from. I feel so worried and sad for Moriah already in such a short time. I hope he's okay. I'm also curious when and where this takes place, but I figure (and bet) more details will come with time. I just have to be patient haha. I can't say much about this chapter yet in terms of my challenge, but I can tell this is off to a promising start! I really enjoyed your writing in terms of your diction, great verbs, and can't wait to read more!

Let me know when more is posted, especially the werewolf bits for my challenge hehe

Best,
nrb

Author's Response: Thank you for that lenghty review!

I'll certainly keep your pointers in mind for when I edit.
Yes, it's not much so far, but I can safely say that none of the following chapters is this short ;)
It's also why I want to have chapter 2 up before the deadline. More will be revealed there about Moriah, and the werewolves.
Thanks again for the feedback, it really is encouraging!

I'll keep you up to date,
xxx Leo


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