ERM SO. you should an AUTHOR. Great stuff! gripping too!
Josh XAuthor's Response: hahahah thanks! :) I hope you like the rest if you read it x Report Review
Oh! So Narcissa became my favorite character after the seventh movie and it's lovely to see her in this chapter! She was also very well done, IC wise, especially in being reluctant to just jump right on to her sisters ideas.
Bellatrix being back...wow, I cannot say I'd have expected that! She is definitely IC and her usual insane self. I could practically hear her voice as I read those lines, very chilling. I LOVE the idea of how she survived, given it seems like her, and now trying to finish what Voldemort couldn't. It seems fitting. =)
The plot you've presented is intriguing, and I look forward to seeing how Draco persuades Ron to the dark side! It can use some work, but there's not a piece of writing out there that couldn't so that's never a bad thing. ^^
I've only written up to chapter eight in this but I'll post the rest for you and if you really wanted me to carry on with it, owl me on the forums and we'll see if we can work something out! - now to respond to that. I will be PMing you on the forums too, but I just want to say you should definitely post the rest! I know I at least will be back to read and review! ;)
-Cappie/HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Oh did she? Yes, she is quite a cool character. I love how much she cares for her son and whispers to Harry asking if he's alive. Love really is the most powerful thing! Good, phew! :) I'm so relieved you're still liking this!
lmao, I loved writing those parts, I used to read them out loud in my room (well, scream them out!) Yeah, I would have assumed she'd want to carry on what Voldemort started and I've always thought that she would delight in torturing Harry and co. Without direction, she could do anything she wanted and this makes her feel more evil to me than ever.
Oh, that's coming up now! Chapter 4 is up :):)
LMAO, accio owl? I'll see what I can do, it's wicked you like it this much. I remember feeling so deflated the first week in putting this up because I'd hoped it would get at least somebody liking the plot. I've left you a dedication note now as well. If it wasn't for you, I would have forgotten all about this and I wouldn't have even considered finishing it.
Rachel Report Review
Awh! The beginning had me tearing up a bit, definitely so sad to have Molly dead. =( I think it was very IC for Ron to be throwing the blame on Harry, as well as saying he never wants to see 'The Chosen One' again. In my opinion, however, Harry might have told them immediately about Mrs. Weasley? Just a thought! ^^
All in all, it was a good chapter! I think killing off Molly has such a huge effect because she really is one of the, if not THE, best mother figure in the series. Definitely not something you see very often, so it does wonders on a readers emotions. D: good wonders...just sad ones. =P
Again I do think they're reactions were a bit subdued, but that's just my opinion and otherwise i think the chapter was good. ^^ 'The cosy atmosphere was a spit of irony compared to the situation around them.' - That was my favorite line, as it really sent a shiver down my spine imagining the contrast between the two.
Cappie/HufflepuffAuthor's Response: I know, how could I have done that? lol Well, it's never been done before. That was my excuse! Yeah I thought so too just hoped other people would think it as well and luckily other people did! Harry probably would have done and been very brave about it as well but then if he had said something Ron wouldn't have shouted at him and fallen out with him and he needed to do that. though I won't tell you why ;)
Yes, I think I should rewrite some parts of this as I think you're right about the subduedness. Read my responses to your reviews and you'll kind of see where I'm coming from as to why they weren't showing the horror!
Rachel Report Review
Heya! I have to say I am quite frankly amazed this doesn't have any reviews yet! D: People are really missing out!
I really liked this first chapter! I believe that Harry and Hermione were believably written and that is SO something I could picture Rita Skeeter doing! I also think it's very interesting to have Lockhart back and once more writing books about his ever so charming self, and I'm looking forward to seeing where that all goes.
'I need some evidence,' Harry fired, 'All my life Ive been controlled by rumours, hearsay. Most of what people say is rubbish, but some of it isnt.' - This was my favorite line, because it is such a true thing!
Now I only have two bits of what I hope will be helpful criticism! First was maybe italicize the Rita Skeeter Article? Doing that I think would help separate it from the rest of the chapter and make it clear that it's an article. ^^ Second was I think that the response to finding Mrs. Weasley was a tad subdued? Harry was believable, and Hermione would most definitely be that voice of reason saying what they should do...but I'd also think they'd both be a bit more horrified. Just my opinion, though! =)
Other than that, this was great! You lay down an intriguing plot and give us some tragedy at the very beginning, which I LOVE! I will definitely be reading on! ^^
-Caiti [Cappie/Hufflepuff]Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review, BlueFlame! I like the name as well. Pottermore? ;)
Wahe, I'm so pleased they're in character! Good! Jumps in the air! Oh yes, Rita Skeeter, I can imagine her doing something as gossip grabbingly intrusive as that too lol and Lockhart writing him was a lot of fun.
LMAO I know Wahe again, happy that you thought Harry would say that as it's very important for me to get people imagining what's going on in their heads. Without a convincing writing style, you're lost. I really believe that!
Oh yes, you're so right. I think it was meant to be italicised originally but it didn't work. never mind, I'll go back and change that for you. Yes, you're right there as well although I think it might have been more a disbelieving shock than anything else.
Thank you very much! I've only written up to chapter eight in this but I'll post the rest for you and if you really wanted me to carry on with it, owl me on the forums and we'll see if we can work something out!
Rachel Report Review
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