"The pear yielded to my tickling"
I think that has got to be he awesomest phrase I've ever read, hands down. Its bizarre sentence structure has got to have made it the most awkwardly brilliant opening of chapter ever.
Sorry, I'm in one of those moods, so I'll add my immature comment: it made me laugh bc that could have so many hidden meanings
... I can't believe how long I've been obsessing over that sentence. Do you know that that's the only sentence I've read of the chapter yet? Yup. I skipped all the way down here to immortalize my obsession.

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Wow, I so loved this :D at first I was like hmm this is an Oliver/OC, Corinna and Oliver must get together but then as I read I was like nahh and right up until near the end I thought that but then when he made the macaroons and all that chapter really, I was like nup that's it they have to get together and then Bam! Oliver and Gemma were together again! Part of me wasn't surprised, the other part was like nooo, Gemma you female dog! Haha but hey that is just one of the twists when it comes to reading your writing, I'm never quite sure what's going to happen! I loved the characters, Robbie was a pretty cool guy and his band was you know just a tad awesome, I coud have shaken Corinna since he was just the best boyfriend material but ehh I couldn't really see them as a couple anyway :P I really don't think what I am trying to say is coming across too well...ah well, awesome work as usual :D

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I really enjoyed your story, I wish you would write another so I can continue to watch the antics of your characters. Plus I need more drama!!

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Eep! It's a Gubby story! I'm here reviewing completed things because WIPs kill me. XD I like this beginning ;D especially the chapter titles. The bedroom scene at 3am was brill and I feel like I've got a decent idea of the characters, though there's plenty to build on. And okay, so Piper has bright red hair and freckles in my head. Forgive me.

I eagerly await more fleshing-out in the next chapters! :D

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I FINALLY FINISHED~ I've been putting off reading this chapter for ages (or like, 2 days, before I got curious and read it) because Gina told me there would be no kilt-wearing Oliver. :( I am sure you tried your best, but there goes my dream of a kilt-wearing Tom Hardy. -le sigh-

YOU REBEL. I was expecting Oliver/Corinna forever and ever, and then you pull this on me! D: Guess they'll get their happy, fluffy ending with someone else... right? -is hopeful-

THIS IS AWESOME. YOU ARE AWESOME. TOM HARDY IS SEXY. I BE STALKING YOU NOW~ KTHXBAI

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I love this :) it's hilarious how people keep sucking Corinna into their problems xD very well written too

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Wow...just...wow.

I loved this story.

It was brilliantly written--Corinna was so believable, so was Cata and Piper and Robbie and Oliver...not so much Cedric, but they were well rounded and amazing.

I loved how Cora (I like the nickname Tilly gave her, so sue me) was bounced around--from guy to guy to guy--yet she wasn't really a Mary-Sue. People genuinely liked her and liked hanging around with her. At least, that's how I see it.

Oh, and the end! The end the end the end! It was amazing. It was like Inception, but less Inception-y. What I'm trying to say is that it was confusing, but it made sense in a way, too.

This is the way I percieved this. Correct me if I'm wrong:

She likes Oliver. Number 4-7 confirmed the little voice at the back of my mind, going "CORINNA LIKES OLIVER, CORINNA LIKES OLIVER."

It's an annoying voice, but it's true all the same.

Oh, how this displeases me. I was a major Robbie/Corinna shipper. I loved, LOVED Robbie. He was like the boyfriend you wish you had (unless, of course, you have a significant other that is as perfect as he is). I really wanted them to get together. In my mind, I think they did eventually get together in the end.

I think that's the brilliant thing about this story--there is no clear-cut ending. You can end it any way you please. I think that Corinna gets over Oliver and he and Gemma stay together. They complement each other's brand of crazy. Cedric gets with Cho and Piper is with Dexter (who I LOVE) and Cata is pretty crazy, so she'll date around. She won't stay with anyone for too long.

I'm glad you ended it this way. Don't continue! It's perfect the way it is :)

You did a BRILLIANT job. 10/10!

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The beginning of the party was much more awesome than the party itself.

And yes, I say party because, well...it was a flippin' party.

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DUH DUH DUH.

Gemma isn't growing on my anymore. If anything, I'm not liking her more.

You're taking me on an emotional rollercoaster!

I love the Cedric/Piper subplot. Ced is such a gentleman.

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Oh my god, I love Robert. He is amazing. He oozes awesomeness. I ship him and Corinna now.

Gemma is starting to grow on me, too. She is pretty adorably insane.

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POWDERED SUGAR EXPLOSION? I love those!

And I love Oliver's childhood memory. It's hilarious.

Now I'm itching to know more about her brother...stupid Gemma...interrupting backstories.

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I like Robert. Can he be my boyfriend?

He seems like a pretty cool guy. I want to see more of him!

Knight to E4 is the coolest wrock band name I've ever heard. Love the reference! And I love any mention of events that occured in PoA because it makes the story seem so much more believable!

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I'm sorry. My canon-brain is searching for the name Robert, and it is not computing. Who is he, or is he an OC?

QUIDDITCH ESPIONAGE?! That's my favorite kind of espionage!

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I KNEW IT.

I had my suspicions about Cata. Poor girl...now that Oliver loves Gemma it's going to be pretty hard to get a date with him.

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Ack! What's up with Cata?

This is going to gnaw at me, too, until I check the little box below the review and find out.

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It's official. I don't like Gemma.

She's too...I don't know...dramatic. And I hate people who blow kisses. It's weird.

Cocky!Oliver is amazing to read. I love it when authors do that to his character :)

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I think this is off to a really good start! (Wow...that sounded really, REALLY cheesy. Ahem.) So, Corinna is going to be the one narrating this story, I assume. Seeing a relationship from another person's point of view is always different from seeing it in the boy/girl's POV.

I like it. I can't wait to read more!

(Again with the cheesy! Blech, sorry. ^_^)

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This is so... so crazy and I don't know what. It was sort of scary, truth be told. In a god way, though, mind you.

My favourite character was Corinna. I liked the part she played within her group of friends, the interactions between them felt real. In my opinion, she, not Cata, was the somewhat reasonable one. But that might be because of the high horse thing and how she doesn't voluntarily get swept up in everyone else's drama, or stupidity.

After her, my favourites were Robbie, because of his rock star nonchalance, and Oliver, because he's, and I quote (or paraphrase, I'm doing this from memory) a "bloke with muscles and a smartass mouth."

The plot was pretty pointless, especially during the first half of the story. Then it was a bit pointfuller. But it was all really fun. And sort of wickedly awesome.

I like that Corinna didn't get to live happily ever after. She just got an infatuation with a bloke who knows how to get to her and uses said information for his own crazy advantage.

9/10

Author's Response: Crazy is my favorite, followed by scary. I kind of get how it can be scary (reality and ridiculousness and whatnot), so I'm glad you said it.

I must admit, I adore Corinna, despite what I do to her. I said for a long time, while I was writing the first 3/4, that her relationship with Oliver was totally secondary, and it was she and the girls who I cared more about and liked writing. It's interesting that you say that about her and Cata. I don't disagree, but Corinna obviously has a warped sense of her importance in her group of friends. I think you're right: Cata has the sense to be able to step back, even if she ends up dwelling on things. Corinna lets herself be swept up and I think sort of enjoys it; I think she likes being the one to whom everyone turns in their respective times of crisis. She'll whinge about it, of course, but she does want to help, or at least likes the idea of being helpful.

Oh, Robbie, how I adore thee. His pretension and perfectness make him kind of irresistible to me, to tell the truth. He was a lot of fun to write, as were the other band members (Michael is actually my fave of that set). And Oliver. Oh, Oliver. I was kind of in love with his obliviousness, his interaction with both Corinna and Gemma, his righteousness. Also, I cast him as Tom Hardy, which helps.

I kind of don't believe in plot, so that doesn't surprise me; I have a habit of thinking of these and a few other of my humorfics as ensemble TV shows in which there is a lot of meandering, with some sort of general forward plot momentum that isn't always clear. I'm surprised the plot turned out the way it did, actually. I did intend to entertain and hope to be a little awesome, so thank you for that.

I've said in responses before that I do like Corinna, and as a reader/eternal fangirl, I would have loved it if she and Oliver did end up together. It was never (entirely) about purposefully turning the hot-in-fanon-canon-character/oc cliche on its head, and I never explicitly intended to give her an unhappy ending. I like that you describe her emotional state at the end as an infatuation, but I'm not sure that Oliver only uses her. He does, of course, use her, but I think there is a huge element of mutual respect and care in their relationship; I'd like to think they aren't (as) dysfunctional as, say, Oliver and Gemma, and I'd like to think that he and Corinna genuinely like each other, in a vaguely antagonistic but affectionate way.

I know this is a ridiculous response, but I was really happy to see this review. Thanks so much for reading!

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I feel like their love story isn't over. But oh well.
I enjoyed this.

Author's Response: I don't disagree that their story isn't over. But I never intended for this to go that far into their lives, so I ended this where I did because this is the end of /this/ story. I don't doubt that the future for Corinna and company is full of more ridiculousness and pseudo-drama, but I didn't feel that that was the point for this particular story. But I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway, thanks for stopping by!

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No pls write a sequel a one-shot anything I know that's how life really is and everything but I'll die!!! I love Oliver and can't imagine him with bitch Gemmma pls!!!

Author's Response: I've said it before: I have no desire to write any sort of follow-up to this. I've always thought, really, that half the fun in stories, whether published or fanfic, is imagining what comes next. I of course have my opinions, but isn't flexing the imagination the best part of a story ending?

But I do appreciate this review and the sentiments expressed in it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and that you feel so strongly. Thanks so much for stopping by!

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I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT. BAH. HUMBUG. I'M COMPLETELY HYPER ON EMOTION AND DRAMA RIGHT NOW. CURSE YOU, GUBBY, CURSE YOU.

AND IT'S OVER AND I'M SO SAD. I WANT A HUG, AND CORINNA'S BLANKET AND BAKED FOODS. :'(

I SWEAR I HAVE SOME KIND OF ADRENALIN RUSH FROM READING THIS, HENCE THE CAPITALS SPAM. OH GUBBY. :'( :'(
Okay, so I was blatently lying when I said I knew it, because I didn't know it. Reading this story, you've continued to surprise me throughout. But from my last review, I can kind of prove that I had a sneaky suspicion Corinna wasn't going to end up with Oliver. Because that wouldn't fit in with the mocking, sarcastic, cynical tones of the story. Because the point (seemed to me) to be that everything was silly and dramatic and a lot of the time insincere. Corinna has seen through that so much throughout that I had a feeling she wasn't going to settle for the expected ending after all this madness. And it was perfect, it really was absolutely perfect. This is how the ending should have been, and as I read that last conversation between Corinna and Oliver, as lame as it sounds, I swear my heart was thumping from all the drama.

I love this story so much. Perhaps I seem to be endlessly gushing, but I really do. Corinna is so amazing, and as I've previously mentioned I adore her as a main character. She's been so interesting throughout, and I feel like her character was developing all the way through, which is really lovely to see in a fic, because Corinna is so interesting and amazing, while all the time being a completely realistic and understandable teenage girl.

I shipped Oliver and Corinna, but it doesn't matter that they didn't end up together because the tension in that last scene was amazing, I loved it, and because Corinna admitted she had feelings for him and that was the ultimate satisfaction-ending. And yeah, I don't think they should have ended up together. I absolutely loved the ending Gubby, even though, I hate Oliver for going back to Gemma, but it's all so right and how it should be, and this ending is a million times better than one that would go along with my shipping wishes.

I loved the incorporation of the title into the final chapter by the way, that was so satisfying in an ending kind of way.

Congratulations on finishing this! :) You are incredible, your talent seeped through this. Off-kilter almost seemed self-mocking to me at times, I don't know if that makes any sense. It was all brilliant and I'm so sad it ended. I'm so happy with the ending though, and it's all ridiculous and I still maintain that I kinda saw it coming, a little bit.

Oh and I can't finish this without saying how amazingly fitting it was that she bumped into them on a food trip. And I love Piper and Cata and I love Gemma just for being an absolute lunatic, and I'm a bit confused as to whether we ever found out if she was a spy or not but I think it's best you don't, though maybe you do and I didn't notice.

Congratulations, congratulations. This was amazing, as I've said, and I've rambled and gushed and spammed in this review because it's the final review I can leave for this and I don't know how to convey my love for this fic but I really rather enjoyed it, indeed, you know ;) Your writing was brilliant and I can't wait to read some of your other stuff.

I love the feeling of continue-y-ness to this, that the cycle started again. Not in a... to be continued kind of way, just in a, I can imagine them all going on living their lives kind of way. It's all madness and circles and sheer brilliance. This is amazing, your amazing and I had so much fun reading this. I should make a fan-girl t-shirt or something, clearly.

♥ MUCH LOVE. THANK YOU GUBBY. HELENA♥

Author's Response: THIS REVIEW. THIS REVIEW. And now:

HAH. HAH. Bah, humbug is probably the best reaction I could expect. But believe me, if I could travel backwards through time and space, I would get you that violet blanket and baked goods (red velvet cake) and a hug (I've got a giant teddy bear that would work wonders for any residual sadness). And BAWW ADRENALINE RUSH FOR FIC? Capslock spam isn't nearly as rare, knowing us, but adrenaline rush? BAWW. EEE. SQUEE. Moving on.

I was curious about how different segments of readers would react to this ending, so I'm relieved to count you amongst the ones who get it, even if they aren't squeeing about it, precisely. I don't know if "insincere" was one of the tones of the story, because I don't think anyone was blatantly two-faced; if anything, there was a lot of ambiguity, but I should hope there wasn't insincerity. Cynicism does not equal insincerity, I think, and Corinna is very point-blank about that. And I don't think that this was made to make fun of the typical Hogwarts romance -- turn it on its head a little bit, without a doubt, and show that a lot of times it /is/ silly and juvenile, but at the same time, isn't cynicism a bit juvenile? But I digress: Corinna and Oliver could not have come together, as much as I personally ship them, at this point. It wouldn't have fit either of their characters, so I'm relieved that even knowing that, their last banterific exchange made your heart pound (it made mine, too).

Character development? What is that? :P Seriously, though, I do worry that my characters are static because no one really learns anything. But Corinna, being the main one, does sort of improve? Or at least, I think she comes to terms with her situation as of the last line and that's huge progress. But yay for realistic! I do strive for realistic. And I can't think of anyone who is expressly happy about Oliver going back to Gemma, but it is what it is. I think an equally hilarious fic could be written just about them (I won't do it, but the idea makes me giggle) because they are an intriguing couple.

I do think this has been largely self-mocking. Off-Kilter is slotted into this genre of wacky-seventh-year-Hogwarts-relationship-story, which means that it is everything it purports not to be. I know that, and I like working within the genre, hopefully showing some new elements in a tried-and-true formula that has made the rounds at the archives.

No, we never found out whether Gemma was a spy or not. If you really want to know what I think, feel free to ask, but I don't think it was important. But Piper and Cata, the poor things, I do wish the endings of their character arcs had been a bit more charitable. But, as I said in the above paragraph, Off-Kilter is ultimately just another Oliver/OC, which means that all characters who aren't Oliver or the main OC must fall to the wayside to some degree.

You sensed the "and so the cycle continues" vibe, hooray! I said this in another response, but I don't think this is any real kind of end. This is not a definitive ending, it's merely the ending of this chapter in the story of their lives. I could easily chronicle the rest of their seventh year, go into their post-graduation lives, the marriages and whatever comes next, but what's the point of that? At some point, the characters' futures belong as much to the reader as they do to me. Of course I know vaguely what happens in that future, and you can see evidence of it in fics like The Confectionary, but the madness and the "brilliance" isn't just mine anymore, is it?

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your rambling, spamming, and gushing literally made my month, and I reread this all the time and I get the hugest smile on my face and this lovely fuzzy feeling and it just makes me happy that I could cause someone to squee so effusively. Andandand, no one's ever made me a fangirl t-shirt, or even mentioned one, but squee, thank you thank you thank you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

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Oh god. One-before-last-chapter. I'm kind of panicking now, because off-kilter is about to be over and that's going to suck. Wow, so. I love Corinna and I absolutely love her cynicsm, because that who she is, and I'd hate it if you changed her in some kind of soppy-valentines-day-finale. But still, I can't help but want to shove the two together. And I love Oliver for not doing-a-cedric, and demanding her undying attention, even though he tried to make a romantic gesture- I guess he took her reaction pretty well. The tension is unbelievable. And I don't care that it's all so silly and adolescent because that's the point, and I love it, and Corinna's amazing and Oliver's amazing and I don't want this to be over, but who knows what will happen in the last chapter? And if it's nothing, that wouldn't be so bad, because Corinna always has her dysfunctional, crazy, sometimes neglectful but lovely group of friends to go back to if nothing does :D P.S Cedric is hillarious, and ridiculous ;)

Author's Response: No, don't panic! If you panic it'll make me panic, and then where will we all be?

I didn't even realize the ending would be on Valentine's Day weekend until I sat down with the Lexicon's calendar and set out dates. (I was very neurotic about the dates in this fic, because I insisted on them lining up with canon). I am relieved that you understand where she's coming from, and unsurprised/grateful that you want to shove them together! At this point, who doesn't?

However, I think you misread this chapter. Yes, Cedric tried to make his romantic gesture to Corinna, but Oliver was never doing that. He does not love Corinna. He tells her as much: the macaron thing was merely a friendly gesture. Corinna assumed that he was trying to declare his love for her, but she was wrong. That explains why Oliver's reaction is so muted -- there's nothing to react to, except for his amusement at her jumping to such a ridiculous conclusion.

But eee, that rest of the paragraph made me happy. It was important to me that the scope of the story went beyond Oliver and Corinna, giving basically equal amounts of attention to their friends. I've said this many times, but for awhile it appeared to me that I wasn't writing an Oliver/OC fic as much as I was writing a fic about OCs and Oliver. Which, I think, is just as worthy a goal, but it wasn't what I started this for and it makes me happy that the newer direction still works so well. So eee. :D

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Ah, I have absolutely no idea where this is going. Well I suppose she's going to end up with Oliver, but now there are so many men in her life I can't keep track. And maybe she's a 'bad' friend, but hey, they've got sugary goods to occupy themselves.
I love Corinna's attitude to 'wooing' in this chapter haha, and her internal mockery of Micheal's idea of romance. Maybe she is too dismissive of cliché wooing attempts, or maybe she's just lying to herself that she doesn't actually like it, because I thought it was pretty cute haha :) But only two chapters left! That makes me so sad. See you in the penultimate chapter :(/:) x

Author's Response: I like going for the unexpected and catching the reader off guard, so believe me, it's a good thing. For me. For you, I don't know. There are a lot of men in Corinna's life, I suppose, because ensemble comedies are kind of my thing, but I didn't realize it was difficult to keep up with them all? Hmm.

I'm sure you would have guessed by now that Corinna's idea of romance isn't necessarily romantic, you know? So her panic and disgust at what Oliver seems to be doing is totally in line with what we've seen of her personality. I don't think, though, that she was necessarily mocking Michael's approach to romance; all she's really mocking is Michael himself, because he's lazy enough to go along with the expected stuff. From there, you could guess that Corinna would want someone to really go out-of-the-box and be creative if that person really is going to woo her. She is dismissive of how cliche it is, but maybe not for the reasons you're thinking. As far as lying to herself goes... well, you never know. They say that a lot of cynics are just the way they are to protect themselves from getting hurt. Maybe that's her deal, and maybe it isn't. With two chapters left, though, we're sure to find out.

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YAY OLIVER/CORINNA :3 Ehem, you may not have noticed, but I ship them. And they're adorable and Oliver is adorable around her and even his Quidditch obsession becomes kind of adorable ♥
In conclusion, this chapter was pretty adorable.

Poor Corinna, haha. I only laugh because while it's painful to watch everything mess up, it's also hillarious. Especially because Corinna was clueless ;) I loved her badass snitch throwing confrontation at Cedric! See, I knew he was an idiot even before he kissed her, just because of his dramatical pacing, a theory that apparently Micheal agrees with. And hey, I'm talking about fictional people like they're real, which is fun. 0.o

And I love Corinna's determination to keep Piper 'oblivious and miserable'. That reaction seems very true to her character, and completely understandable. Poor Corinna and Piper :')

Why is so much Oliver/Corinna cuteness involved with baking? Haha, I don't know but I can't wait to read the next chapter! :D I absolutely loved his sneaky shuffling, and the fact that Corinna said halt. YAY. ♥

Author's Response: I ship them too, to be perfectly honest. Shipping goggles go on when I think of them together, although whether my fangirly dreams will become fanfic reality has yet to be seen ;)

Oh, absolutely, the humor is in how dreadful the whole situation is. At least I think so, but my sense of humor is more than a little warped. I liked Cedric before the concert and I like Michael still, just so you know. And talking about fictional people like they're real = everyday occurrence at HPFF, I would assume. Because, eee characterization continuity! It's difficult to maintain over the course of a long-ish WIP like this, so I'm relieved that her motivation makes sense; I've noticed a lot of times that authors kind of lose track of their characters the longer they're writing, if that makes any sense. Or maybe that's just me? I don't know. Ahem.

Baking is inherently cute! You know what should be done? Evil baking. Poisoned baking! Homicidal baking! Which was kind of in this fic, but not really. Perhaps that will be my next goal -- actual homicide biscuits. Hehe, excuse my randomness, it's very late but I wanted to finally get around to these responses. LOVE POUR VOUS!

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I want to say: lol...?
You're so evil and author-y. Everything is so ridicolous, and nothing goes right for these people :') It just makes me want to laugh quite a lot actually. Poor Corinna, why the heck is she surrounded by lunatics. Hahaha, I love it. And why is Corinna also surrounded by boys who happen to be drama queens!? You've got Robert with all his put on mystery and pretencious sunglasses, and you know, I read him as being not as soulful as he thinks he is but I don't know if that's how his character is supposed to be. And then Cedric. Ha! I love how he was supposed to be 'looking for her' but that entailed of him pacing his dorm playing with a snitch, probably looking brooding and absolutely gorgeous. Uh, Cedders- I don't think your going to find Corinna hiding in your dorm. Nope, instead she gets sent up! Everything is messed up, and I'm finding it completely amusing :D Of course I feel bad for Piper (♥), but I love Corinna's character so much I'm actually a bit more sympathetic towards her at the moment, as everyone around her, and possibly her, seem to have descended into insanity. Good god, I love this :D

Author's Response: You should know by now that ridiculous makes my world go round. Because perfection/getting what you want is boring in story terms, don't you think? So naturally I try to extend the crazy as far as I can before giving up and ending it for the love of Merlin. Corinna is surrounded by lunatics (I like to think they just come to her, like moths to light, you know?), and yes, Robert is pretentious. He's like a wannabe hipster indie rocker, which is why Corinna constantly references how put-upon the whole musician schtick is with him. But teehee, I never even realized that bit about Cedric! I imagine that he had been out and about looking for her before giving up, at which point Michael delivered the message. Piper is such a sweetheart and I felt a little bit bad for her (and mostly glee because from a "plot" perspective it was a bit priceless), so I'm glad you did too! And also super glad that you like Corinna so much; I know she's not the easiest person to like. But eee, this review :D

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