You are literally the queen of Draco/Pansy. I have never read such a good set of D/P stories on any fiction website other than yours!! Though I have to ask, what happened to the sequel of Sinners? I read all of your D/P stories today and I could not find it! Satisfaction View, I think is the name of it from what you said in the last chaptr of Sinners. Anyway great work :) Report Review
I just read your story the whole way through- sorry I didn't stop to review each chapter but I was honestly too caught up in it!! Absolutely 100% well done!! You should be so so proud! I love everything about this fic- your writing is so fluent and basically AMAZING, your characters are detailed, your plot is so exciting and your idea is really original. I will definitely DEFINITELY recommend The Garden to other people! One of my favourites. Haha sorry if this came across all gushy :) But you know. It has to be done. Report Review
I've never read film noir fanfiction, but I think you do it perfectly. It's full of witty metaphors and shady characters and each chapter of this story pulls me more and more in. You feed us just a bit more information, but then some new question pops up to keep us endlessly guessing.
If Whitby is dead, that does not bode well for Rose. I'm curious about Pansy and her motivations. I think she's shady, but not as shady as she wants to be, and not as tough as she wishes she could be, either. Often, the ones with the thickest skins are really the most vulnerable. I think she does love Draco, and that she just gives him the mysterious angle because she wants to keep him interested. I've been finding myself wondering about whether Astoria will come into play in this story, or if Draco will end up with Pansy. Or if he will end up with anyone at all? It's so difficult to tell. This is shaping up to be one of those stories where you can't predict what will come next, so you'd better be ready for sharp turns (there's my film noir metaphors coming out. I'll be speaking like a detective for the rest of the day now, annoying everyone. Maybe I'll go dig out a black raincoat or something just for effect...).
I'm very curious to find out what happens next. Report Review
I love your descriptions. I can see everything vividly without even trying. The way you've painted this new age of the Dynasty and the crumbling Ministry, and Draco's thoughts and movements and just everything really, is superb. Your grammar is also excellent, which I very much appreciate.
Also, I like you how have creatively incorporated magic into the story in such a casual way, to make it all the more realistic. I'm impressed by the little details like LUMOS - London University of Magical Occupational Studies - because it adds more realism and magic to the story in such a subtle way. It's really obvious that you have put a great deal of thought into this story, and that's really shining through.
But besides the remarkable writing is the remarkable plot! I find myself marveling at its originality. It's like a breath of fresh air. You unfold the mystery in tiny pieces. But even bigger than the mystery of Kevin and Rose, in my eyes, is this mysterious Draco. I want to know all about him. You've made me really interested and you peel back the layers just enough to give us a little information, but still leave us wanting more.
The way you ended this chapter!! Gahh! Cliffie! I must know about this dead man and why there is a string attached to his shoes.
!! Report Review
"I'd slap you if I didn't think you'd enjoy it."
I am enjoying the pace of this - it's quick and amusing and everything's a little dangerous. I feel like I'm right there in the mix of things, listening to smooth-talking Draco and razor-sharp Pansy and all the other characters who always seem to know more than they're letting on. I was getting frustrated with Lana because I could feel the precarious balance there, about how if Draco made one wrong move, she might not tell him a thing. It was hit or miss, and you wrote it very well. You have the ability to make readers nervous, to invest a keen interest in the welfare of Draco and to wonder about him. I am very curious about him! He seems incredibly closed-off. Also, I can't wait to find out more about this corrupt Dynasty and what happened to Rose. Report Review
So firstly, I would just like to apologize for taking a million years to get to your review prizes from my challenge.
I am really stoked about reading this story. It has a very different flavor from anything else I've read on the archive. Draco is a shady, mysterious detective sort of person dabbling around in really dark waters here, it seems. I love the whole feel of it - how everything is slightly tilted, odd, wrong - like there are some brutally nasty things lurking in the shadows of these Alleys. I am really curious to find out what happened to Rose and exactly what kind of underground evil is going on in this new kind of world.
I feel like I'm watching an old black and white gangster movie, with the stovepipe hats and the long black coats and the people who come and go under streetlamps while everything else is thrown into shadow; their eyes blank, hiding something but you're not sure what. This is so original, and I'm loving it so far. Also - there wasn't too much dialogue, but the dialogue that you did have was really realistic. I was pretty impressed with how natural and real it was.
I am definitely intrigued for more. :) Report Review
why have i not read this before now? hunny, this is amazing. i love this seedy, grimy world you have created. i tell you, the allusion is not unnoticed - what a terrible garden you have planted here. beautiful beautiful imagery!
okay so correct me if i am wrong, but i am assuming the Splintering refers to the collapse of the statute of secrecy? and the Diagon Alley is now home to the darker side of life? i could be wrong, but that is what i have read between your lines.
draco is fabulous! i think i am falling in love with him already. what amazing characterisation, and opening with his journal was an excellent move!
your language is beautiful - you know just how to wield words and paint wonderfully dark pictures. everyone in this is full-bodied - the waitress, the barmaid, the girls he chats to. they are minor, on the peripheries, but they are full characters.
this line: "She's tipping like a teapot in the hand of god and he waits nearby, ready to pour himself a cup." GAH! i love it! love it so much. what incredible metaphor and again, ties in nicely with the allegory running through this piece.
i owe you 5 reviews i think from the Sympathy challenge, but i will probably end up reviewing every chapter of this because it is amazing!!
Kate xx Report Review
I repeat - :O
I am in awe. (And really late, for which you will have my guts for garters, but now that I have gotten around to reading it, I doubt I will stop!) Oh, and I think I am going to nominate this for the Story Seekers if it hasn't already been on/nominated, because this is... alluring. Different. Something else entirely. And yet, it's so close to everything that hides beneath all fanfictions that I already feel like I know it well, but yet I so obviously don't.
Before I begin, I have to say that this is one of the very few stories (I believe there are two others) where the characters and the story do not sound like myself in my head, which is quite a good thing, as the other two stories where the imagery and the characterization is so good that everyone sets themselves apart from what I normally read and write happen to be my two favorite stories on the archives. (If you're wondering, they sound like a mix of Guy Noir from A Prairie Home Companion and someone who did one of my favorite acts on This American Life. And yes, I am an NPR addict! *hides*)
To add to that, I love how this story is told. In your concerns way back when (*hides again*) you mentioned that you weren't sure about how this was written, but I absolutely adore how intriguing it is with it's information released just so the picture changes with every word, every letter. I also don't have any real CC quote yet, but I do intend to go as far as time will permit me to today (which is a first for requests, as I am usually far too lazy to go farther than requested), so maybe I will sometime later. :)
The darkness and the murky shadows in which the morals and descisons lie are really something else. They bring to question what exactly is right and how something can be wrong, but only to someone who has already done something wrong. It really reminds me of The Tourist, although this is pulled together with much more presicion and mystery than said movie. It's not often you get something like this that can bring such ideas to the table and then show them with the eloquence I've read in the first 3,500 words. Stunning.
Spelling and Grammar: Pristine. I think there was a missing comma, but that was one of those gray area missing commas where it was just fine without it.
Pacing and Flow: Marvelous. I couldn't think of a better way to have it go so seamlessly, especially with all of the changing scenes and moving about that Draco does.
Overall Opinion: This can only be expressed via emoticon - :O (And yes, that is a good shock! :D)
I can't wait for Chapter 2,
-Annie Report Review
OH MY ROWLING WIZARD GOD! WOW! WHAT-HOW-AHH! *is completely in awe at this chapter*
Ok, this has got to be one of the best things I've read in a while. Addicting, engrossing, thrilling, full of twists... Ah, why did it have to end??? D:
I really, really loved your chapter summary - it gave me chills! I adore little sentences like that, haha :P
The conversation was so awesome! Draco was just so cool and calm, and so was Nott - I loved it! And it was just a little bit scary, which just made it even more memorable.
I love how smart Draco actually is. And it really shows just how much thought you've actually given this! And just how many twists this plot has. Seriously, every time I read a chapter, I leave with more questions than when I first started reading. It's madness, I say! :P
That last paragraph was so chilling! I didn't know what to think! And I still don't know what to think... O.o I'm hoping it's just a bluff? GAH! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME???! Hehehe :P
Well, I really can't wait for the next chapter, now! Ah, I love this story :3 UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!
-Lizzie xx Report Review
What's this? There's TWO chapters for me to review?? Ah, my day is made!!! *dances*
This was epic. Epic, epic, epic. That really just sums it all up, hehe :P
WHY IS THOU SO TALENTED? Seriously, I want your amazing skills. I have said this before (I think...) but every new chapter is just completely different from the last, everything is paced perfectly and - GAH, IT'S SO ADDICTING! :D
I loved learning more about Pansy. The history of characters is always one fo my favourite things to read about, and the life you have given her is so sad, yet absolutely brilliant! I really felt sorry for her, and just felt like I could understand her a bit more.
Ohh, the Mysterious Mr. Potter makes an appearance! I've been looking forward to reading about him, I must say :) And I especially love reading about him from a Slytherin's point of view. It's all so much funnier to me! Probably because I think the same way... *shifty eyes*
This was a brilliant way to bring Harry into the story. It seems very in character, the way he tried to threaten without questioning! You've captured his 'hot-headed-ness' perfectly! Which is hard to do, so kudo's! :D
"Potty." Now that is the best line ever! I snorted when I read it - it was just so brilliant!!! And totally believable, too! After an intense chapter, that just end it amazingly! *is laughing at it again*
Ohh, he has an idea!!! Eeek, I'm so excited! I can't wait to read on! I'll review the next chapter tomorrow, I promise!!
This was such a great chapter, Ciara! I loved it, as always :D *huggles*
-Lizzie xx Report Review
You could not even imagine the smile on my face when I saw that this had been updated :D YAY! Ahem. Hello Ciara *huggles* :D
Wow. This chapter was incredible! Ah, this story is seriously getting even more addicting with each chapter ♥
First off, this line: "all of the Seeking skills he never got the credit for" was pure awesomeness. It actually made me laugh, and I liked having something a bit lighter. It balances out with the darkness and drama. :)
I really, really liked it when he gave his wand to Rose. I'm never one to think of Draco as chivalrous, but for your characterisation of him, it works really well!
Oh, so much action in this chapter! I actually was sitting on the edge of my seat by the time I'd finished reading. How you have managed to make the fight scenes flow so smoothly is amazing. Most of the time when I read fight scenes, I'm like "what just happened?" "who is that person?", but you manage to keep everything perfectly clear!
Nott? I would never have guessed! I love the canon character-ness of this, hehe XD You've certainly given him a life of his own away from J. K. R., and you've captured the cool Slytherin-ness of him, too. I really liked how you emphasised the fact that he was of new blood. It really made everything fall into place! :D
WHAT? THEY HAVE PANSY??? *is shocked and worried* You're evil, Ciara. Eeevil. But it does show that the Dynasty are smart in a scary way. The bracelet was such an interesting way for them to show him that they had her hostage. It was so chilling!
Ohh, I so cannot wait till the next chapter. I have no clue where this is going to go, so I'm going to be stalking :P Update, update, update!!! Hehe brilliant work, love. :)
-Lizzie xoAuthor's Response: Eighteen hugs for you. Eighteen of them. You are so amazing, this whole review response would just be random squeeing of you if I didn't reign it in.
Ahaha, well, honestly, Draco was obviously a good Seeker because he always got within six inches of the thing before Harry had some kind of miraculous accident and caught it. I can imagine him still being a bit resentful of that.
Draco in that moment was being less chivalrous and more acting on instinct. He had spent so long trying to find her and keep her alive, it was natural that the first thing he did was just toss it to her without really thinking if that was a good idea or not. I imagine him as getting really fixated on things. We know he as a character is very determined and dedicated once he sets his mind to something, so once he had this task of getting her back to her parents, he wasn't goling to just leave her to fend for herself.
I am having a lot of fun revealing random canon charries to really stop now, so it will continue.
THEY TOTALLY HAVE PANSY. I know. I know. It's so devious and evil of me. Wait till you see the ending. No, I can't give it away... but I want you to read it. You'll die.
I will be updating in just a few days! The next chapter is important but not as actiony, and then things get really intense.
YAY HUGS. Report Review
SQUEEE, CIARA UPDATED!!! :D
And WOW! This was one amazing, incredible chapter! So fast-paced, so much happened - I couldn't look away! As usual, hehe :P
The imagery at the start was just sickeningly beautiful. It flowed so well, I really felt what Draco was going through. It's something that is probably going to stay with me - it was just so memorable! And slightly haunting...
Another canon character! I love how all these familiar names keep coming up throughout this. Like I said before, it just ties it more firmly in with the HP world. I think Cho was a great choice here, and for what little we saw of her, she definitely stands out.
I love your description. Seriously. It's just so incredible, I could read it all day and never get bored. Everything is just so clear! I can see everything that Draco sees, and it's so powerful for an author to do that, but even more so when every single line of every single chapter is written so amazingly.
Yay, he's found Rose! The poor thing, I feel so sorry for her. She just seems so scared and confused! I loved how you kept Draco still sort of cold towards her - it just seems so realistic.
The (sort of) fight was just WOW! It's like a thriller, hehe, I was so engrossed! I thought is was genius to compare the guy to Crabbe and Goyle, as it really helped me picture exactly what he was like.
"she sticks out in the crowd like a bloodstain in the snow" - that line is just pure awesomeness. Incredible! I have never seen such a dark, yet beautiful simile. Just...wow.
And you left on a cliff-hanger!!! Which was kinda evil yet kinda perfect, hehe. I really cannot wait to see what happens next!! So you must update or I will go crazy XD
Perfect and amazing chapter, hun! I loved every word! ^_^
-Lizzie xoAuthor's Response: Gah! You've definitely convinced me to continue updating this fic regularly. Sorry, now you're stuck with me :P It isn't entirely written yet but soon will be. My muse comes back reading your reviews!
Actually, I wrote Cho into this fic because I realized one day that I accidentally included her in my character listing. When I went to remove her, it kept telling me my summary was too long no matter how much I edited it. So I ended up just leaving it and writing her a part, but then I really liked it :P It was really good luck for me, I think. For the same reason, Harry will be making an appearance as well, though I won't say in what capacity :D
Rose is not one of our very smooth main characters. It's the nature of the story, she is not a very sweet, smart victim. She's a little dim, to be honest, but she's innocent, so he has to allow her that.
I will update this week, I promise! Thank you so, so much love! Report Review
Here again! Hello, Ciara ^_^
Wow! What an incredible chapter! This was so fast-paced, I was yet again on the edge of my seat. Man, this story is amazing!
The diary entries are still so interesting to me! Really, I love them, and it's a brilliant way to open each chapter. It just keeps me guessing as to what the next one will be!!!
I adore your descriptions. The way you wrote the rain was just so beautiful! And the club...I just felt like I was right there, amidst it all!
This was a really dark side of Pansy. She still surprises me! I admire her for showing up, but at the same time think she's rather silly. She's stubborn and independent, so I hope she knows what she's doing :) I do love how she plays mind games - it just adds another intriguing thing to this fic :D
The way you write that fight was incredible! I felt every emotion, and was so engrossed by it. It brought out harsher sides to Draco, and at the end, some more of the vulnerable Pansy were seen, which was so realistic :)
I loved the labyrinth bit! You wrote it really well (as usual, hehe :D), and I didn't get lost at all - everything was perfectly visible, which can be hard when dealing with mazes. It seems so intricately planned, which just makes it even more awesome.
Eeek! Cliff-hanger! Wow! Now I'm kind of worried. And Rose is still missing! Oh my, this is just so addicting! And you even made being hit by a stunning spell sound beautiful, too! Hehe :D
Well, I adored reviewing this incredible story, and I hope these reviews were coherent between all the squeee-ing. :D I really am in love with this story, and honestly cannot wait until you update! Hope you have a great weekend, hun! *huggles*
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVY!Author's Response: She is definitely silly, madame Pansy. She does everything she can to deny not just the world and those she cares about, but herself as well. In some ways she is continually punishing herself for her past, and for her attachment to Draco, but she ends up punishing him as well. She's just a very hostile kind of girl, in her own way. But Draco understands her perfectly, so he knew when he had to dig a little deeper at her for her own sake. He knows when she goes a little overboard.
I know, I am trying not to overdo my cliffhangers, but sometimes you just have to throw one in :D This story is winding up to a climax and so it will be getting more tense. I don't want to give anything away, so I shall say no more.
Thank you times a thousand! Report Review
Hello :D *waves*
What an awesome chapter!! This was so engrossing! It was just...wow!!! :D
These snippets from Draco's diary are just a story in themselves! They really intrigue me, and I really am looking forward to seeing where they take us, hehe :) I loved learning more about the Dynasty and where they got their name.
Gosh, you write Draco and Pansy together so well! You can change the mood in an instant; it's amazing! I thought this chapter was amazing for Pansy's characterisation, too. I just saw a bit of a more vulnerable side, and it sort of made me feel sorry for her.
I loved seeing Draco in his element with getting information out of Pruell. I thought it was sweet that he did it for Pansy, too. I get the feeling that they do care about each other, but not as deep down as they would like to think.
You've really captured the Dynasty and what it encompasses really well. It's sort of like the night job for a few social climbers, like Pruell. It's like the mafia, and you really have given it the elusive, elite air.
Yet another fantastic read, Ciara!!! This just gets more and more amazing :)
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVYAuthor's Response: I decided to make the diary entries go backward just as a different way of explaining backstory. I got tired of having him talk it all out and it makes more sense for this kind of story to have the actual progression of the story go continually forward.
Yeah, Pansy does in fact go deeper than she seems. And Draco knows it, but he is also acutely aware of how fragile she actually is. She seems incredibly strong, but she has weak points like anyone else, and he does try in his own way not to hurt her. He knows when she lashes out at him that she is really defending herself, and he allows her that.
I will give you this about Draco and Pansy. In this story, they're about all one another has, and they care about one another about as deeply as they can. But they also have absolutely no idea how to translate that into action, so they end up hurting one another, sometimes even on purpose, simply because they don't know how to do anything else and the opposite, to them, is unthinkable. They are so used to defending against their vulnerabilities, they don't even realize how far gone they already are on one another.
Thanks love!!! Report Review
And hello yet again *waves* :D
McMillian? As in...Ernie? :O I just LOVE how you're referencing so many canon characters! It just makes this tie in so much more with the HP universe! I wonder what happened to Ernie...
That little two paragraph section at the top was amazing...you have such a talent for descriptions! It was so beautiful in a really Gothic and tragic way :)
Woo, a bit of information for Draco! This is such an intricately woven plot, and it's really evident when Coal told Draco what was going on with him, Rose and Whitby. I was so entranced! I do really admire how Draco seems to be so collected when dealing with corpses. It makes him seem so professional in a bending the rules kind of way if that makes sense. :)
Wow, that is evil why they've got Rose! Nice twist! I really didn't see that coming at all! I'm kinda worried about her, hehe. And the bit at the end! Wow. Again, I really didn't see that coming. And Draco was just so...smart! I adore how you've made him so intelligent in this.
The pub seems like a really good idea to house the goods. And I'm so glad that Draco found some more of those numbers...I really can't wait to find out what the entire sequence is about!
I loved this chapter - I'm still so intrigues by this fic! I seriously am constantly surprised with all the twists you put in!!! :D I love it!
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVYAuthor's Response: Yes like Ernie :D I love throwing random canon in here and seeing who picks it up. You win!
Yeah, finally someone throws Draco a bone! This he can work with. He is, in his own way, trying to be empathetic, but it is hard for him. Especially because he expects the worst from himself. As much as he distrusts everyone else, he distrusts himself more. It's part of the reason he doesn't show too much emotion- he thinks if he lets a little go, it will all come tumbling out. My story does take DH into account, so Draco has a pretty messed up history.
You'll find out more about the numbers soon, I promise.
Thank you so much!!! Report Review
Hello Ciara! :D
This story just keeps on becoming more and more mind-blowing! Like, seriously, you are so talented! I'm in awe...
I still love how you write Draco, and in present tense, too! He just seems so collected, and it's evident when he thinks about Death. It's just how I would have imagined him, no matter where he ends up after the war. You write him so beautifully, too, and I can really feel the coolness the possesses.
The little mentions of Narcissa and Lucius were sweet. I found it so lovely that he had a picture of his parents on their wedding day! That's just a really...realistic touch, I think.
Yay, more Pansy!!! She's quite the temptress, isn't she? I love how she's a character that you can't quite grasp as to what she will do next. One minute, you think she's small and vulnerable, the next she's cool and "Slytheriny", hehe.
Ohh, the plot is getting thicker and thicker! So much mystery! The Dynasty have quite a scheme going...a sort of smart one, too! I just hope Pansy doesn't get too caught up in it. Also, I think that the Dynasty's plan is quite a modern touch, which I really, really admire. It's so believable, too! Really, it's genius, Ciara! :D
Draco and Pansy's chemistry seems absolutely perfect. I adore reading the kind of relationship they have, and you've written it brilliantly. When the narrator mentions about when Pansy has said "I love you", I just thought it was so in-character, and I loved how different each of the situations were.
Simply stunning work, as always. This story is just...ahhh, I must read on!!! :D
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVY! :DAuthor's Response: You are amazing, I don't know how you come up with so many things to say in each review! Don't get me wrong, I love it, but when I review novels I end up saying uh... repeat repeat repeat.
Well, I write her that way because Draco doesn't really know what she's going to do next. Do they love one another? Does she love him, if he loves her? He has no idea. He doesn't care. He is, in a lot of ways, a simple guy. He wants to be with her, so he is.
Whether Pansy will get caught up in it I cannot say ;) She is, in some ways, already caught up in it, and Draco thinks about this later in the fic, so you'll get a better understanding of her situation.
Thank you so much, as always!!! Report Review
And I'm here again! *waves* :)
What a epicly fast paced chapter! I was literally on the edge of my seat the whole time, just waiting to see what would happen next! Man, this story is engrossing - I'm really in love with it :P
I love your descriptions. They are so vivid, and I feel as though I'm there with Draco, seeing exactly what's going on. And not only that, but it's so consistent! No matter what scene, I still feel as though I'm there. It's honestly so flawless, and smooth, I cannot fault it :)
There was so much mystery in this chapter! The numbers, the letters, the clean photograph...wow! You've included so much, and yet the pace was absolutely perfect! I still think you have done Draco justice, and I really loved reading him think. He seems almost "Bond-like", with his suave ways and just general way of behaving in testing circumstances.
The ending! WOW! That was...well, it was just sudden! And it was quite smart, too, having it hidden like Diagon Alley. My my my, that was a very interesting way for Draco to find the body...shoelaces, very original! It was brilliant! I wonder what the actual operation is? You've got me hooked, Ciara!!! :D
Fantastic read, hun, this is quite an incredible story!!!
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVY!Author's Response: YAY
What I love about this genre is the smoothness of the characters and the dialogue. I am trying really hard to replicate it, so I'm glad it feels that way to you. But every main character in film noir has that snappiness, that very unruffled persona that I think works really well for this kind of mystery fic. Especially for characters like Draco and Pansy in this fic, who are really not nice people, but you can't help but be attracted to their characters because they are just so smooth.
I really feel like Draco in this chapter fits well with the character he's playing, because he is the kind of person who, even if he is dealing with crazy things, would have all that turmoil bottled up so well that even he can't feel it.
Thank you again love! I am so so excited to have someone reading this fic. Report Review
Hello again! :D
I must say, I'm addicted. This story, the dynasty portrayed, the characters, the mystery, the writing, the metaphors - it's all so incredibly enthralling!
The diary entry at the beginning was fantastic! I always love it when they're travelling differently to the chapter. And the bit at the and about Pansy made me laugh :P
I really, really love how you write Wizarding Aristocracy. Your descriptions are so...eerie? Either way, I love how you include the fact that they bend the law's and have been Death Eaters and all that. It just makes it seem so real.
I'm so pleased Pansy was in this chapter!!! *dances* I really am glad that you've kept her with a few imperfections, while still saying that they are what made her so unique. It was so beautifully worded; I could picture everything so clearly!
I may have found a couple of typo's... *hides* please don't hate me!!! Ahem:
"I't's an golden opportunity." - one too many apostrophe's in 'it's', and it should be 'a' not 'an' :)
"I've got a girlfriend likes to make friends." - are you missing 'who' after 'girlfriend'? :)
BACK TO THE SQUEEE FEST! It was so funny to see Draco and Pansy bicker. They're both fiery characters, and you have definitely done them justice. You have made Pansy so memorable, too! In the books, she sometimes just seemed like another rude Snake, but WOW you have given her such a string characterisation and life of her own!
You included more Slytherins! Yay! Honestly, you have kept everything with the elite Slytherin air, never once faltering, and it's just so incredible! Also, I adored your use of animal metaphors in this. It just makes this dynasty even more secretive when they're not directly referring to anything. Gah, it's so thrilling!
Yet another incredible chapter, Ciara! This story is just...wow. It's amazing! To the next one! :D
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVYAuthor's Response: The metaphors are so much fun to write because they are soo over the top. Like honestly. when could you ever write anything like that?
I originally wrote this story just so I could give Pansy some of the glory she deserves. She's just so horrid but at the same time so fabulous. And I think this is the kind of Pansy that Draco really would have fallen in love with.
There will be a lot of random canon appearances through the fic, it will contain little to no OC's, so I hope you enjoy them!
Thanks love!!! Report Review
CIARA!!! Hello! Told you I'd review ;)
Okay, WOW! My god, this is amazing! Absolutely amazing! Your writing is honestly phenomenal, and I think I may now adore present tense. It just add's something even more unique to this. I just wonder why I haven't found this earlier, haha!
Also, I do love the mystery surrounding this, too. It makes me wonder if Draco is the narrator or if there's a little bird following him around...either way, I adore it!
This was so engrossing. I couldn't look away at all, and you had me hooked right from the beginning. I really loved how you opened this with the diary entry. I really think you have captured Draco in a very, very unique way, but still keeping him cold and mysterious like the Draco we all know and love.
I don't think I've ever seem a plot-line like this! And I must commend you for using a canon character as the missing girl. I have always remembered her from the books, and it's great to see someone using her in a story! The way you've set this whole thing up is spectacular, and not once did I lose track of the characters.
This was an incredible first chapter, Ciara! I absolutely loved it!*is honoured to run your fanclub* I hope this review made some sort of sense...onwards to the next chapter!! ^_^
ps: OPERATION: GREEN WITH ENVY ;)Author's Response: Awww hon I could not believe it when I came on here and saw I had SEVEN new reviews from you! It really made like my entire week. Especially because this story is not very popular, even though I am still really proud of it.
I decided to write it in third person because I felt like, although with this genre it is usually in first person, having it in third would be a little more believable with Draco's character. I had to bend his characterization a little bit for the role he is playing, but I don't think I broke it. That was why I included the diary entries at first, to give a little throwback to the general first person narrative of this style of writing.
What's so funny is that I always hear from people that they thought I meant Rose Weasley at first! When I wrote this I actually completely forgot about Rose. WHich is funny because now she is a main charrie in my other novel fic. Draco in this story is like 24ish so Rosie wouldn't be born yet.
I feel like you should have a fanclub, you're so amazing. That is so, so flattering. Online best friends :D
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i truly loved the story. fantastic !!! (:
sorry to bother you with questions... but how did you come up with this? what made you want to write it?
& last but finally question, how do you make banners? because i wish i had a beautiful banner like this (:
amazing story (:, definitely am going to read more!Author's Response: Aw, I full on responded to this review like a week ago but I guess it didn't submit.. I'm sorry!
Anyway, you don't bother me at all. I came up with this idea for a story because I love old film noir movies and lately I've been watching a lot of neo-noir, that is, new films with updated settings that are written in that style. What I really love about them is the snappy dialogue, the sharp characters, the over-the-top description, and I thought that could work really well as a written story.
You can make banners with any image editing program, if you have a mac, try GIMP- it's free to download :] Otherwise, head on over to TDA, or The Dark Arts, our resident banner-requesting sites. You can find a link in the forums. The incredibly talented people there will make a banner for your story if you fill out a request form. But make sure to read the rules first :]
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Hi! Fellow Slytherin here with a review because of the review challenge. Now I am so glad I found this story though. :) I love this story, I am supposed to be going out but I had to review it first. :)
Your summary is a-mazing! It made me want to read this so bad, so I did. Hence, why I am here now. :)
The way you wrote this story is brilliant, it really captures the reader and put them into the mystery. It reminds me of all the old movies, which I am guessing is what you were going for but I can't think of the name for them.
Dynasty. It has me intrigued, I really want to know what that is all about, something like the deatheaters?
I really like Draco in this chapter and probably the rest of the story, he is different but good different. He is still Draco underneath all of it. (Which doesn't make sense at all but hopefully you'll get what I mean.)
Well, I have some time before I have to leave so I am going to review some more chapters :)
Ginny45/RandomRed xxxAuthor's Response: Hello! Yay, I am so glad people are participating :D
Thank you so much! Yes, I am trying to reference that genre of films- Film Noir- is what they're called- but put my own little twist on them. I just love the characters in those movies and think that they fit so well with my favorite ship.
More about the Dynasty will be revealed in Draco's entries at the top of every chapter, which go backward in time as the chapters progress. Basically, all will be revealed in time :P
I like to think of this as Alternate!Draco. That is, it is not your typical characterization of him, but I am not trying to make him OOC, either. It's just my different interpretation on his characterization.
Thank you so much! Can't wait to hear what you think of them! Report Review
Oh wow. I loved this chapter. And holy crap...Kevin!
Your characterisation of Draco is something that continues to amaze me. When it comes to talking about his family or his past, it seems so very casual and light...too light, indicating it's a place where he doesn't want to go but happens to come up anyway.
His relationship with Pansy is like no other. He can read her so well, shoot, I actually believed her but when I went back to read it over, I laughed at myself just a little bit.
My goodness, this plot just keeps getting better and better. I really like that you've delved into the darkness and perhaps shown a more realistic side than what we're used to.
I can't wait for Scene Five!!
Lia :)Author's Response: Thank you! I know, poor Kevin. But actually he wasn't such a good guy.
Having Draco be this kind of emotionally suppressed guy isn't a new thing, but it works so well with the character role I am filling with him. The thing I love about these old noir stories are that the men are so definitively men, and the women so definitively women. But they're both incredibly compelling characters in their own way, both strong. In Pansy's case, a little devious.
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I loved the opening section, with the description of Draco's attitude to death. when Draco was sixteen and somebody burned a mark into his arm. - I really like that line, for some reason. I love the way it's phrased - it's somehow very passive, very detached, as though Draco doesn't want to think about it but can't stop it coming back to him, and like he's trying to rid himself of the guilt but just can't quite do it.
I'm really excited now about where this is going, so many little twists and turns! The part with Pansy was really interesting - she's a very interesting character in general, I think. A bit mysterious, a bit suspicious, and rather entertaining x) Update soon, s'il vous plait?Author's Response: Thanks! The way I like to think of Draco in this story is kind of like... stories about men who went to say, WWII when they were eighteen. They have this incredibly dark perspective on everything but at the same time, they push it way back and bury it as best they can, but somehow it always comes crawling back out again. I think society now is much more open to the traumas of war than society then was, when it was expected that young men would fight. Since this story is written kind of in that forties genre, I like giving Draco that kind of perspective. I mean, he did experience some truly horrific things.
I LOVE writing Pansy. She is my favorite part of this story to write, she is absolutely outrageous.
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Oooh a nice cliffhanger there! A very spine-chilling image. I'm really loving following the mystery of all this - I'm usually not a fan of mystery fanfics as they can be hard to do well, but you really pull it off.
I think I've said this before, but the world you've created is really, really brilliant. LUMOS and all that, it's really interesting and original, but always really believable as well.
I also love your Draco. He's canon-esque and suitably anti-hero while being rather appealing at the same time xD I loved the comments about Narcissa, they were wonderfully Draco: That one his mother taught him. She's a fine woman.
Great chapter, as always. And YAY there's another one :D Off I go...Author's Response: Thank you! I usually try to put a little bit of mystery in my fics but this is my first time writing a story where the mystery is really the focus.
It took my a few minutes to think of that, LUMOS :P
Who doesn't love Draco? But honestly I feel like knowing the kind of character I'm trying to write- The Phillip Marlowe, the Sam Spade, you know- and also having Draco's characterization to work with gives me so much to write. I definitely didn't want to do this with an OC.
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I really enjoyed this chapter, much more than the first. You pull off present tense, third person very well. I really like the setting of this story, Fanfiction Noir. I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you before but it really suits these characters, especially Draco. The dark and shady aspects of it allows him to blend in easily considering his background. Anyone else would stick out like a sore thumb.
I like the idea of using his excerpts to give a bit of background of the Wizarding World during this time. You've given the politicians and rich men a rather realistic stance too - they try to present respectable faces to the world but behind closed doors, they're part of members only clubs.
Draco and Pansy's relationship, as dark and complicated as it is, would be interesting to see. The way they talk to each other sometimes really makes me laugh. You've captured them here in an interesting light.
"If there's ever been an innocent freckle on you, Pansy, it was gone by the time you learned to speak." - This line made my night!
I'm also glad that you've made use of the other Slytherin minor characters we really don't hear about.
All in all, I think you did a really great job with this!
LiaAuthor's Response: Hello dear!
To be honest I am always having to double check that I haven't drifted into past tense. It's very strange to write present tense from a third person POV, but I chose it because I think present tense gives it more of that forward-moving, film sort of feel. In a movie you can't be drifting along in the past, you only see what is in front of you.
The excerpts originally stemmed from the very common theme in crime drama which is to have the detective/protagonist/what have you narrating the story. Since I was writing in third person I couldn't do that, but using Draco's POV to explain the background of the situation lends it a little more intimacy, I think. Draco is really explaining to the reader what has happened to his world.
The reason I chose Draco and Pansy for this venture, when I knew I wanted to write something like this, was for Pansy. She fits so perfectly with my idea of a Noir heroine- shady motivations, a balance of a good side and a dark side, the kind of woman you want to trust but never quite can.
As for the minor characters, some of them are just giving clues as to the Dynasty's true origin, some of them will reappear later on, and some of them I just threw in for fun. :]
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