Reading Reviews for Behind the Mask
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Debra20 Resigned To His Fate

12th August 2011:
Happy Staff/Prefect Friday!!

To be honest, this was the story that most caught my eye from your Author's page. I hope you don't think me crazy, but I have had quite a fascination for Death Eaters lately. Not in the 'I approve or I want to side with them' way but to get to know them better, to know of their past, stories.

I am glad that I'm not the only one in thinking that not all Death Eaters were on Voldemort's side by their desire. And that they enjoyed and wholeheartedly supported his 'cause'. Rabastan Lestrange. What an interesting story you have given him. What a sad yet shockingly realistic side of him you uncovered.

I loved every part of this story. I loved how you combined his memories with his present and how well you did. It did not seem fake, or forced. It felt part of the story just as much as the rest. I loved how Bellatrix was so close to her character. How she kept saying they would be rewarded and glancing at her Mark. How Rabastan felt for the Muggle family and wished the children were going to be al right. The flow was absolutely superb and the story highly emotional. It's so nice to discover that not all Death Eaters were that bad. Yes...I think I shall add it to my favourites :D


House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hey hun! Thank you so much for reviewing! First off, my most sincere apologies for taking months to answer your lovely review *hides* I really do appreciate the time you took to write this :)

Oh, me too! Death Eaters in general are my favourite characters, and I love being able to put my own spin on their pasts.

I adored writing this fic, I really did. Rabastan is hardly written as a main character, so it was brilliant to give him a different sort of past than one would expect. I've always thought that Draco Malfoy wasn't the only one pushed into being past of the Death Eaters. It broke my heart to write such a sad romance for him.

Aha I love writing flashbacks; I'm so pleased you liked them! I always worry that they don't flow properly :P Bellatrix is my favourite character, I love writing her. I simply had to include her in this :3 I thought it would be nice to have him worrying about the children, it's not something you'd expect from a Death Eater hehe!

I'm so glad you liked this story so much, and I'm so grateful that you took the time to review - thank you so much!!

-Lizzie xo


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Review #2, by adluvshp Resigned To His Fate

11th August 2011:
hey there.

OMG this was such a deep fic. I always like reading Prisoners POVs and this was awesome.
Rabastan's emotions really stood out through out the story. His guilt, his repulsion, his desire to not be a part of the death eaters was captured really well.
His love for Aoife was touching too, and the ending letter was really sweet.
Bellatrix's craziness was also done justice to I think, and the way Rabastan talked about her was spot-on.
The little flashbacks in the middle were really a good idea as they gave a backbone to the story.
The scenes and the plot flowed really well too and the grammar and all was perfect.
Characterization of Rabastan and the style of narration was what I liked best.
I don't find anything to criticize here. This was a brilliant piece of work.
great job, thumbs up!
10/10

cheers!
AD


~
end of an era review extravaganza house cup 2011
Forum Name: AditiDraco95
House: SLYTHERIN

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Review #3, by Giola Resigned To His Fate

9th August 2011:
Hi Lizzie!!

Ok, THIS IS AMAZING! You capture Rabastan so well, he has an amazing about of depth for a one-shot character. I felt so sad for him and Aoife, you set up this story brilliantly by leaving the 'big reveal' till the end, and telling it sort of out of order.

I can't find any grammar mistakes, it was a pleasure to read. Your writing flows wonderfully and you use just the right about of description. You obviously have a good handle on plotting for a one-shot, but I'm curious to read more of your longer pieces to see how you go with longer plot arches :D

Lovely story hun!

Giola
(Slytherin)

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Review #4, by Hyenni Resigned To His Fate

8th August 2011:
oh, this was adorable.
i say that in a 'super-sad-brilliantly-written-heartbreaking-way', of course (:

this line was brilliant:
What I said to you, about the two of us just running away until this was all over, was dea- very serious.
i thought that was amazing - how much Rabastan tried to avoid saying that D-word. especially considering how Aoife is, uh, feeling right now.

i'm struggling to put into words how this made me feel. it's so original - i've never read anything like it! it's written beautifully, without too much description but still enough to paint the scene in my head. and the emotions of Rabastan seemed perfect as well, the depression, the not-caring, everything.

loooved this!
Hyenni101, Slytherin :)

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Review #5, by Jenna822 Resigned To His Fate

21st April 2011:
Wow. This was very well written. I loved your use of back and forth, between the trial and the flashbacks, it was well seperated and flowed easily despite the time shifts. The story itself was very good. I love your plot and your details. I've never read anything about Rabastan before, so I've nothing to compare it to, and I've never really thought on him much, so I didn't have any preconcieved idea of what he should or shouldn't be like. I rather like your characterization of him. I like that you made him more of a "because they were" Death Eater, rather than a hard-core fanatic. I like to think that a good number of them were mostly tag along rather than have the kind of devotion that Bellatrix or Lucius had. Also, your writing itself was great. Spelling, grammar, structure: all spot on. I love that. Certainly a 10/10 for this story! --Jenna

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! Thank you so much for this lovely review! You've really made my day with this! :3

I'm so pleased you thought it flowed easily! I know, it makes me sad that not many people write about Rabastan, which is why I enjoyed writing this so much! You have so much freedom with him, you know? I have always thought that, for some, being a Death Eater is merely a day job. Surely not all of them were like dear Bellatrix!

Naw, thank you so very much for leaving this amazing review, Jenna! I really can't stop smiling :3 Hope you had a Happy Easter!

-Lizzie


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Review #6, by morningstarroost Resigned To His Fate

20th April 2011:
that is super sweet. i like how much he loves her.

Author's Response: Thank you! I loved writing this story! :D
Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews, hun! They were such a nice surprise! ^_^


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Review #7, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Resigned To His Fate

14th March 2011:
Hi Lizzie!

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this. I get reviewer's block all the time and sometimes it can take weeks to get out of it. However, I'm here now!

I find people rarely write much about the Lestranges - Rabastan above all - so first of all, some originality points. I'll briefly brush over what was mentioned in your 'critique focuses' and then move onto some other points that I picked up on.

Flashbacks/Flow

I think you placed the flashbacks very well. I would perhaps not end the sections with '...' though; it cheapened it a little for me. You can create that lingering feeling through the phrasing of the last sentences of each part and I think if you simple replaced the ellipses with full stops, you'd be set. The same goes for the '**' breaks; it's absolutely fine without them because you've made the distinction between the two timelines with the italics. Generally speaking, however, it flowed pretty smoothly. My main criticism would probably be repetition; try and avoid using the same word ('accused' is the one that springs to mind at the minute as coming up a little too much) too many times because it starts upsetting the flow.

Characterisation

I felt so, so sorry for Rabastan. I like the way you wrote him, the way he's not interested in the cause of Voldemort or anything. I like how he's capable of love and how deeply he cares for Aoife is evident. I'd perhaps have liked a little more focus on why he became a Death Eater. It wouldn't need to be much at all but I'm not sure I was all together convinced by 'I joined because my father and brother did' - I think it would make me feel even more sympathy for him if there was a solid reason given.

It's a bit minor but I really liked the way you brought in his opinion of Bellatrix. I love her as a character and I love thinking about how other people see her. I'm not sure it's covered enough but I very much like Rabastan's viewpoint.

Aoife's role as a physical character is again minor but she's strong and I liked her very much. She even feels like she could be a character from a longer story that I've just read a chapter of. If you ever wanted to extend their story, you definitely could.

Other

So this is where I ramble on for a bit about other points. Firstly, I'd really recommend getting a beta to look over this for you for spelling and grammar. It shouldn't take them long - 5-10 minute job - and it'd really help the flow. There are some moments where this reverts into telling rather than showing but that is something that will start to come the more you write and the more you have someone working with you to help.

I can see a lot of potential in your writing. Sometimes, I read people's work and I think it's okay or good but nothing special. Reading this, I can see something else, some spark waiting to be ignited. Perhaps it's your sentence structure, your vocabulary, your characters, I can't pinpoint what exactly but I think you have great, great potential. If it's not too forward, I really would love to work on this with you in depth as a beta because I've just got a really good feeling about you as a writer. Or you can tell me to mind my own business and stick to reviewing :P

Anyway, Lizzie, I think you did a really good job with this. You should be proud of it.

-Rachel

xx

Author's Response: RACHEL! Oh, my god, this review is just...WOW! AMAZING! Hehe, I know all about reviewers block, so don't worry about the wait. Sorry for taking so long to reply! My internet has been slow and it makes it hard to post replies when it's like that. :(

I love writing about the Lestranges. They're important Death Eaters, but are hardly ever mentioned, (especially Rabastan) which gives a lot of freedom.

Thanks! Yeah, I have been worried about how to end each section. Some like the '**' thingys, some don't, haha! Thanks for all those pointers - I'll definitely be heeding your advice.

I've always thought that being a Death Eater may have been just a day job for some. Surely they had lives away from being all evil and scary! I had tried to elaborate, but nothing ever sounded right. And, me being me and impatient to get this published, I sort of left it as is, hehe.

Oh, I love Bellatrix. She's easily my favourite character, and makes a few cameo's in most of my stories. I sort of like writing about how her family thinks of her, since she's such a twisted, complex character.

I'm thrilled you likes her!! Oh, cool! That's awesome! Hehe, to tell the truth, minus the flashbacks, this was going to be the last chapter of a short story about her and Rabastan, but I got this written first, then my muse kind of...left... As she does, hehe.

Thanks so much for pointing out grammar! I keep asking about it in requests; I'm pleased you've picked up a few more mistakes.

*blushes* Thank you so much! Ah, you're much too sweet! You have no idea how much that means to me!!! I'd love for you to help with this - honoured, actually; I'll be PM-ing you very soon!

Thank you so, so, so much for taking the time to read and leave such an incredibly in-depth review, Rachel! You have been so helpful and so encouraging! I'm still speechless reading this review. ^_^

Many thanks again!
-Lizzie xox


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Review #8, by TenthWeasley Resigned To His Fate

5th March 2011:
Oh, wow, Lizzie. This... just wow.

Okay, story time: I saw your banner before I clicked on this (obviously) and thought, in passing, "Wow, that's a pretty cool banner." But here's the thing about the banner in relation to the story: your words kept conjuring up that banner in my head. That's powerful, to be able to write like that.

I love the character of Rabastan, and you have written him so well here. His emotions are beautifully written, yes, but what's more is that they are real, and you convey them with a clarity that isn't always easy to do.

I loved this, Lizzie, very much! It definitely deserves more attention than it's gotten. ^^ Thank you for directing me to it!

OPERATION: Green With Envy

Author's Response: Jane!!! -glomps-

Oh, you did? Hehe, when I saw the banner, I just fell in love - I though I fitted this story so well! I'm thrilled that you think my writing is that powerful! :D

Oh, my, you're making me blush! I love writing about Death Eaters, and Rabastan is one of my favourites :) Ah, I'm so so pleased the emotions came through!

Thank you so much for your lovely review, Jane! I'm seriously blushing, hehe, and I must apologise for taking a week to reply *hides* And you're welcome! It was lovely to hear your thoughts :)

-Lizzie xoxo


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Review #9, by orderofthephoenix Resigned To His Fate

23rd February 2011:
Hey! I'm here with your review :)

This is a very well written story. It's refreshing to see a writer who realises that maybe not all of the Death Eaters were evil people. You've taken a relatively unknown Death Eater and given him a personality and a life of his own.

You spelling and grammar is flawless and your writing flows beautifully.
You've writted an unusual plot and made it quite believable so well done for that :)

Your characterisation of Rabastan is done extremely well. I like the balance between flashbacks and present day and I thought you described Azkaban really well.
As an OC, I expected to learn more about Aoife than you actually wrote but I was pleasantly surprised by what information you gave us.

This is a wonderfully written story with feeling :)

-Sophia x

Author's Response: Hello Sophia!

Naw, thank you so so much for your review! :D I've always thought that being a Death Eater was merely a day job, and Rabastan is one of my favourite characters :)

I'm thrilled you thought this was believable! I'm pleased you like my writing :)

I must say, I'm addicted to flashbacks, haha. I kind of wanted Aoife to still be a bit mysterious,and have been so worried whether I gave too little information.

Thank you so much for your review, Sophia!!! :D

-Lizzie


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Review #10, by xLauriePotter Resigned To His Fate

23rd February 2011:
AquariaJasmyne: Hello, Laurie here from forums with your requested review! Firstly, I'm sorry it's took so long to get this to you, RL is a pain!

I'm happy to be reading something a little more on the dark side, I've been reading too much fluff recently. Ok, Down to business ;)

"thinking of the time he threw some of his brothers' wedding cake at one of Lucius Malfoys' peacocks." I think this quote is rather fabulous, You seemed to be able to add a little humour into what seems to be quite a dark-story.

That first flashback is amazing! I'm glad to see someone thinks that not ALL deatheaters are cold hearted. It's good to see him get effected like that. "his heart was wrenched in two" - thats beautifully.. sad? Yet effective!

Is it bad for me to get excited because you've used 'Burke' as a last name? My charrie on PW .. Her last name is burke (eep) hehe. *cough* sorry. got out of control there ;)

Oh wow. Aoife is dead? That was so sad in the flashback. I felt my heart break reading that, honestly. "She broke away, smiling at him, but then her big green eyes widened once more, but with horror this time."

Wow! Do you want me to cry?! This is fabulous. The pace is brilliant, The way you included flashbacks was good because it helped us build up more of a picture of Rabastan. My favourite parts were the flashbacks and the way you ended the story with the letter.

10/10.
Thanks for requesting, This has been an excellent read.
Adding to my fave's!
~ Laurie.

Author's Response: Oh, my gosh, Laurie, I could have sworn I responded to this amazing review! I am SO SO SORRY!!! D': I feel terrible, as this review was so lovely-I greatly appreciate it!

Eeeek! Fluff! *hides* hehe, glad to have given you a darker fic to read :)

I always try to have at least one lighter line in my dark stories - too much angst can be a little much after a while.

That's why I love writing about Death Eaters - surely not all of them were completely heartless! I always saw being one was more of a day job, with a few notable exceptions. Hehe, glad you think so!

Bahaha :P Well, I kinda hope you're not cranky with me and I did the name justice, haha! :D

Yeah, Aoife's dead. I felt that there was no other way, and I'm kinda glad that I managed to convey the sadness.

Um...no? Not really? Hehe, I'm so thrilled you liked this, Laurie! I loved ending it with a letter, too :) Ah, I'm so honoured for the favourite, hun! And once again, I must apologise for not replying sooner *blushes*

Thanks so much for this incredible review, darling!
-Lizzie


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Review #11, by Ginny45 Resigned To His Fate

23rd January 2011:
Hi again.
I was gorgeous and heartbreaking.
This is the second story I have read of yours and both have used flashback, both however are paced perfectly. Flashbacks can result in bad pacing and I am glad it never happened here.

I noticed one typo, "the sentencing was handed down. Rabastan Lestrange, Bellatrix Lestrang, Rodulphus Lestrange and Barty Crough Jr." I am guessing you meant Crouch.

You really kept me reading, when I first started I didn't know if I was going to like it but then you had me hooked. I had to read the whole thing.

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx

Author's Response: Hello :D

Thank you for yet another lovely review :) I do love flash-back. I find them rather interesting to write, but I'm always worried about the pacing and flow, but I'm glad that this story seemed fine :)

Oh, yes, a few others have picked up on that *hides* it's been edited now, thankfully :P

Ah, thank you thank you thank you! I find it so pleasing that you got hooked, despite your first thoughts! :D

-Elizabeth xx


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Review #12, by lia_2390 Resigned To His Fate

3rd January 2011:
Hi again!

Thank you so much for giving Rabastan a voice! Seriously.

I've always liked the idea that Death Eaters also had lives outside of being, well.Death Eaters. At the end of the day, they were simply fighting for what they believed in, just like the other side and this is why I do not find it out of the ordinary that he could be portrayed like this. Rabastan not being able to find the right words for his letter made me smile. There really were no words that he could say to explain. All that he could come up with was 'I love you', which I think is enough :) I was rather upset she died, she'd never get to know what that letter said. As for Rabastan, he seems rather decided of his fate, which when I think about it, is tragic and rather sad :(. I wonder if he had known he would still be alive for the next 15+ years, would he have the same idea - sending the letter . I figure it would be more torturous than anything else.

Characterisation wise, you did a good job based on what you've provided. I particularly liked Barty's, you've shown him as the anxious, panicky young man he's was portrayed as at the trial but then GoF gave him a whole new light. It kinda makes me wonder if he was just acting. Rodolphus was solid and silent as usual but I liked that he was still reassuring, despite the circumstances. It makes me think there's more to him as well (I have to be one of his biggest fans...just utterly fascinated by him).

I really like the idea of telling a story within a story. Having flashbacks of one event at different points, which as the story progresses, puts things into perspective for the reader. One thing I can tell you about that, as was pointed out to me by a couple reviewers, is that when you're writing a flashback, it's triggered by a sense, e.g. Touch, smell, taste. It's something you can keep in mind for future works, I suppose.

Anyway, I rather liked this.

Lia

Author's Response: Hello again!!

Oh, you're most welcome. It was a pleasure to write Rabastan - he's hardly ever mentioned in the books, and I wanted to give him a bit of a life of his own ^_^

Wow, thank you so so much! This piece was great to write, and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! I've always thought that, for some, being a Death Eater was just a day job.

Aww, I'm glad you liked the end of the letter. It was sad to write, but necessary. There really was nothing else he could say.

I'm thrilled you liked how I kept Barty pretty much the same. I was worried I had gone a bit over the top with his nervous behaviour, actually, so it's reassuring to know you liked it ^_^

Oh, I do love Rodolphus, too. Actually, anyone with the last name Lestrange I find fascinating!

Thank you so so much for this amazing, in-depth and thoughtful review! I am so sorry about the lateness of this reply; like I mentioned in your last response, I sprained my wrists :'(

Cheers hun, and thanks again ^_^
-Elizabeth


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Review #13, by maskedmuggle Resigned To His Fate

22nd December 2010:
Hey!
Here to review, from the forums.

First thought, wow. Very well written, I was engaged from the beginning, a brilliant story about Rabastan!

Plot - great. Nothing bad to say about it. Flow? Great, seriously, the flashbacks and the normal telling of the story work very well together. I love how you didn't write "Flashback" at each flashback, those really annoy me. The italics and the simple breaks with the ** were great. This is written brilliantly! The emotions are conveyed very well, you really made me sympathise with Rabastan, and having him regret/not like killing all these people was a nice touch. It's nice seeing him as a nice character! Including Aoife as the love interest of Rabastan was another thing that helped make Rabastan seem like a nice person, rather than the stereotypical no good Death Eater. The letter was good too - it connected the whole story together. At the beginning he was trying to write the letter, and at the end is the finished letter. That really brought the whole story together.

Characterisation was great. Obviously a very different portrayal of Rabastan than I would imagine, but you did it very realistically, and it was great. Aoife was characterised great too. There wasn't much about her, just the right amount of detail, which is good.

Just one thing I was thinking about - when the four accused were on the beach with the dementors, waiting for the ministry wizard, why didn't they disapparate? I know Azkaban supposedly sucks all your skills away, but come on, Bellatrix was a very skilled witch, I'm sure she could have disapparated. Why didn't she? Just something to think about!

Also, when Aoife was busy fighting and yet, could still "throw a knife at Avery", she was then interrupted with an embrace from Rabastan. Where did Avery go? I'm sure Avery would've been repulsed or some emotion similar.

I liked this line, "...thinking of the time he threw some of his brothers' wedding cake at one of Lucius Malfoys' peacocks." Some humour in a predominantly dark fic, haha!

I loved the way you ended it, very brilliant. This is simple, but maybe consider changing the format you wrote the letter in? The ~'s seems to devalue it a little bit. And I think that wheNever that may be is more powerful than wherever in the last line, just my thought!

Spelling/grammar/punctuation is basically great, just a few small mistakes that I spotted!
Spelling mistake: You spelt it Rodulphus, it is actually Rodolphus.
Barty Crough? I think you meant Crouch.
"no where" - nowhere is one word.

"The four of them we're pushed…" I think you meant 'were'. We're is we are, which doesn't make sense in the context of the sentence.

"...where boat that looked on the verge of sinking was waiting for them." I think that this would make more sense, "…where A boat.."

This was a pleasure to read. Being a reviewer really makes me expand my horizons. I never read Death Eater fics, and the ones I do are always brilliant - thanks for keeping it that way! Good job on making me see Rabastan in a different light! Sorry for this awfully long review, but I hope it helps in one way or another!

- maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)

Author's Response: Hello Charlotte!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you were engaged form the beginning! :)

Ah, thank you. I was worried about the flashbacks, so I'm happy you thought they flowed well. I'm so so pleased that you could sympathise with Rabastan!

It was fun writing Aoife. I always felt that Rabastan was hardly ever mentioned, so I thought that he deserved a bit of happiness.

I'd never thought of the letters like that! I had just thought it was a nice way to end it, truth be told :P

Yes, I didn't want to tell too much of Aoife; I like keeping a bit of mystery in the air.

Oh, you have me thinking now, both about apparating and Avery... I must go over and revise those parts. Thanks for pointing them out! :D

The peacock line! Haha, I was worried it was a bit random, so I'm thrilled you liked it!

Oh, gosh, I forgot to edit those '~' thingy's out, didn't I? Once the queue re-opens, I'll fix it. I was meant to when I re-posted this *blush* Oh, thanks for pointing out those typo's! I'll fix them up, too! And I do like your idea of changing it to 'whenever' as well... If I do change it, I'll be sure to credit you :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this! And I'm so thrilled that you saw Rabastan in a different light. And the length is fine, I've been wanting a bit of cc on this.

Thank you so much for all your help, Charlotte! I'm so grateful, and I do appreciate the time you took to review this :)

Happy New Year!
~Elizabeth :)


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Review #14, by kaileena_sands Resigned To His Fate

19th December 2010:
Hello,

What a well-written fic! I think you did a really good take on Rabastan's character. I certainly sympathise a lot more with him after reading it.

Your descriptions, his thoughts - everything flows so perfectly. And even though it's a one-shot, you managed to give us a really good view of Rabastan's feelings for Aoife.

Outstanding!

Happy holidays,
Kaileena

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm so so pleased you can sympathise with Rabastan; that's really, really made my day!

I'm so glad you think this flows so well, and that Rabastan's feelings are showing through. I've been a bit unsure about this at first, but you've made me feel a lot better about this fic.

Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

Happy holidays to you as well :)
~Lizzie


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