Reading Reviews for Seven Hills
55 Reviews Found

Review #1, by K9 Chapter Seven The Root of His Downfall

26th January 2018:
This is written so well! Glad to see you're still writing. xx

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Review #2, by victoria_anne The Die is Cast

22nd September 2016:

So you said dialogue and plot were areas of concern, and I'm telling you now that you have nothing to worry about. Grindelwald's voice especially, it's exactly how I would imagine it, and I love how clever Portia is in how she deals with him.

I loved the scene with Portia and Grindelwald. The way you write him is so beautiful and dark. That is to say, perfect. The detail and thought you've put into the way the Ministry worked during the war just astounds me. I'm beyond impressed.

I really have no CC. I'm beginning to really love this story, it's fascinating, and I can't wait for Tom Riddle to come into play! I still love the idea that he works under Grindelwald.

Lovely work!

♥ Bianca

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Review #3, by IchigoPan Prologue

16th September 2016:
Hi hi! As promised from the writing challenge you participated, your review is finally here!

Tantalizing and wrought with tension, this prologue paves the way to the start of the unfolding drama between Portia and Tom. Tom's mockery never ceases to get under anyone's skin and relentlessly attacked what was left of his wife's pride. And poor Portia is left to fend for herself alone at the whims of his sadistic mental game.

If I could offer one criticism, it would be a small spelling error. Here you wrote: "Portia shook him off at once and entered of her own violation."

If I'm not mistaken, I think you meant to write "volition" rather than "violation"?

Anyway, very well done on this chapter. Augh, what will Portia do now?!


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Review #4, by marauderfan Prologue

8th September 2016:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review from HPFT. Sorry about the delay!

This is really cool. I love this first chapter - it's so different from everything else I see here, and your writing style really stands out. I don't read a huge amount of AU so that makes this particularly interesting to me, what you've done to make this world your own.

I really love your descriptions.
as the night grew uneasy and the flames from the braziers guttered to cinders. -- like this one, it's so vivid. The whole way through though the chapter, you provide perfect detail - not lengthy descriptions of everything, but focus. You draw attention to the small details, like dying flames or the one guard's chipped tooth, as a way of being very specific but not heavy handed with the description and it's so effective. I love it.

As for characterization: Portia is clearly someone who is used to having her way, and above all having control. And, well, Tom is much the same, which makes their relationship very interesting to me. I can see what drew them together in the beginning, and why it would never work with such clashing personalities. And she still loves him (and he probably knows it), and hates that weakness about herself but still loves him - ah, so many complex feels about this. I love the characterization of both of them and the way they interact is fascinating, with their history sitting heavy between them.

As for plot, I do really like it so far, though there's not a huge amount I can say about the plot seeing as it's just the first chapter. But you've set it up well with all the political and emotional games here, and clearly there's a lot of interesting history (which looks like it'll be the basis for the story, given that this is a prologue). So based on what's here, the plot is very interesting!

My CC is pretty minimal, because on the whole this chapter is well polished. There's a line at the beginning when Portia tells the house elf to tell Tom she will see him now, which makes it sound like she's waiting for him to come to her (which I realize is what she wants, haha) but then goes to visit him, so why is she telling the house elf to tell him she's coming when she's almost there? (I'm not sure I articulated this very well, but basically - that line could potentially be reworded for clarity... but maybe that was just the way I read it)

A couple of typos-
Portia shook him off at once and entered of her own violation -- Here, I think you meant 'volition'

it forced its way passed her lips -- should be 'past'.

All that small stuff aside, this is a REALLY powerful start to your story, and I loved this introduction! Portia is a really vibrant character, and even after one chapter her personality is quite well developed. And Tom is really interesting in this context as well. I'm so eager to see what you do with these characters. Very well done! ♥

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Review #5, by victoria_anne Fortune Favors the Brave

17th August 2016:
First of all, Paul Bettany as a young Moody is beyond perfect.


Once I reached the end of chapter 1 I just HAD to know what happened next!

Ooh okay, ten years earlier, is this it? Do we find out what happened?

Your descriptions are to die for. I was right on that cold windy hill with Portia and Moody, it was all too easy to imagine (seriously, it's freezing in my house, but it's because of your writing as well!)

Of course Tom in the previous chapter was pretty perfect. That way of intimidating others, acting like nothing bothers him, oozing confidence. It left me dying to know about how he ended up married to Portia.

Ahh oh my goodness I'm a little bit in love with Portia myself. I LOVE this! I love how Riddle works for Grindelwald and the campaign is just so realistic and your dialogue is to die for. Seriously, it's like reading another Harry Potter novel.

Brilliant work, my dear, I'll be back soon!

♥ Bianca

Author's Response: Hi Bianca!
Aww, you're so, so sweet! Thanks a million for taking the time to read not only the prologue, but this chapter as well. I'm sorry it isn't more informative, but the rest of the story definitely does explain what happened to Portia and Tom and how they married. ;)

Your reviews are seriously fantastic. You're always so kind and encouraging. Thank you for that. I'm glad you're enjoying this story. I thought it might be way too AU (I do love me some AU) so I wasn't certain exactly how readers would receive it. Needless to say, it's a huge relief to know that you liked this chapter. I know it is a bit of a jump from the prologue (like a ten year jump, lol), but I'm really pleased you were still able to follow the characters and the story and that you thought the descriptions made the setting realistic. I have to admit, writing the action sequences have been a bit difficult since there is really only one huge wizard battle (The Battle of Hogwarts) in the books that I can use as a reference. In this story, however, there will be a few huge battles that will take up entire chapters as most of the characters are soldiers, so hopefully they will turn out okay and not read awkwardly.

And yay! You liked my Tom. I only say my Tom because I know I made him a little AU. He's definitely not Voldemort in any way, shape or form, so like I said, I wasn't sure how that would play out with readers. The same goes for Moody, who is much younger in this story. (By the way, I'm so happy you liked him as well, I actually had no intention of bringing him in until the last minute when I needed a second-in-command for Portia and he just seemed to make sense, haha).

Again, thank you so much for the wonderful review! I will definitely stop by your thread to re-request in the future. I hope you're well!

Lee Anne

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Review #6, by i_luv_tom_riddle I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

15th April 2012:
Seriously, this is a FANTASTIC fanfic. I love it! I love your idea and the AU you've created. I want to read the next chapters so PLEASE update soon! I finished the story five minutes ago and I'm already dying to read the the next chapters. Please don't abandon the story!

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Review #7, by onestop_hpfan18 I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

8th September 2011:
Well, this chapter was fast-paced and well written; I really enjoyed it. You write battle scenes so well, very realistic. Also, I like how you switched between Portia's and Riddle's POVs in this chapter, it really worked well in showing the level of magnitude and height of the battle. Over all, great job and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter when it's posted. (: 10/10

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Review #8, by onestop_hpfan18 To the Strongest

8th September 2011:
Ah, this story just keeps getting deeper into the plot the more I read, and I really am enjoying it. I especially like how you've characterised Tom Riddle, and how you've written his inaction/relationship with Grindelwald. Portia does indeed have reason to be wary of Tom Riddle, and I like how you've made that perfectly clear in this chapter of how she does not trust him and finds herself debating his loyalty to Grindelwald.

As we know of Riddle's later life from the books, it does not bode will with Riddle to work under and for someone else. Riddle is completely his own wizard and does as he pleases when he pleases. And I think you did a good job really showing that character trait of his in this chapter, even if we only saw a bit more of him here from the previous chapter. Over all, excellent chapter and now I'm off to read the next. (: 10/10

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Review #9, by onestop_hpfan18 A Second Self

4th September 2011:
Another superb chapter you've written here, Lee Anne! Honestly, you really have such a knack with writing historicals; especially, might I add, the histories that take place in the midst of politics/wartime. And not only that, but fitting it all into the HP universe with HP characters and making it flow so seamlessly that it could very well be canon.

Also, I enjoyed getting glimpses of Dumbledore and Riddle at the roles they will play in this story. And, yay, more Alistair/Portia. I really am falling in love with this pair, they are quite perfect for each other in all actuality. I love them together! Over all, loved the chapter and I'll read & review the next chapters some time soon! 10/10 (:

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Review #10, by onestop_hpfan18 The Die is Cast

4th September 2011:
Lee Anne! I really am loving this story and am happy to finally be getting around to reading/reviewing it. You've really branched out with this one, and I think you're doing so well with writing Grindelwald. And Portia is well-rounded and characterised, too. I love their interactions and how Portia admires Grindelwald for all he has done and does, yet she refuses to work under him as she chooses to work on her own terms. In this aspect, it makes her a strong character, and I love that about her because she's a woman who knows how to execute battle. Tough thing, she is, too. Anyway, excellent chapter, hun! (: 10/10

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Review #11, by onestop_hpfan18 Fortune Favors the Brave

4th August 2011:
This chapter was very well written, Lee Anne. I like how your writing this during wartime, not leaving anything out and molding it all together so effortlessly. The war action and behind the scenes talk is all believable, and I quite like your characterisation of young Moody before he hardened with age. All characters have to start somewhere, and I like how you've made him out to be a strong fighter, yet still with much to learn about being a soldier/Auror.

And of Gellert Grindelwald, I like seeing how he turned almighty powerful, before he ultimately went over to the dark side. And that he wants Portia's help is curious, what can she do for him? Anyway, lovely chapter and I can't wait to continue reading this. (: 10/10

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Review #12, by SiriuslyPeeved The Die is Cast

18th July 2011:
Hmmm. Grindelwald as Hungarian, interesting! I really enjoyed your tying-in to World War II and European geography. Your imagining of how the Ministry might have been organized during World War II is also very believable. I wonder whether the War Department is folded into Magical Law Enforcement at a later time, since Wizarding Britain doesn't seem to have an active military later on. (this is one reason I enjoy your stories so much, they make me think about the larger world of stories that could be told in this universe!)

Please feel free to re-request any time! I hope to get to your remaining chapters after clearing my plate a bit :)

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Review #13, by SiriuslyPeeved Fortune Favors the Brave

18th July 2011:
Form wise, you really started this chapter off grabbing the reader. Your use of sentence fragments is really effective and brings a pounding rhythm.

Dusting off my music degree here, I enjoyed the references to classical works (and I think the ones you chose fit nicely-- Berlioz!). Moody's youthful personality grounds Portia nicely as an OC; it's easy to imagine her as Moody's mentor as a young Auror.

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Review #14, by SiriuslyPeeved Prologue

17th July 2011:
That was so different from anything I've ever read in the Potterverse. Of course you know how I love AUs, so I'm ready to look at everything in a new way. :)

I liked how you started with the story already in motion-- I'm really curious now about how it went wrong between Tom and Portia and how close this Tom's magic is to the canon version. I enjoyed how you portrayed Portia's conflict over seeing Tom again, both politically and on a visceral level.

Your use of small details-- the guard's cracked tooth, for example -- serve to give the story a grounding in reality even while the basic set-up is so far outside what we expect in fanfiction.

I have not studied Plutarch -- reading this from a "historical fiction" perspective and I may miss some references but plan to enjoy this! Sorry for the long delay in catching up to your request.

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Review #15, by greylady_Ravenclaw Prologue

3rd July 2011:
Hmm... this was... interesting. I've never read anything like it. I was quite confused for most of the time until I realized more of the gist. But then again, I'm slow tonight.
I loved the description. It was fantastic. The idea of the story also intrigues me. I love the fact they are all trying to somewhat do the same thing while doing it all so differently.
Please feel free to ask for another review. I want to remember to read. :)

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Review #16, by onestop_hpfan18 Prologue

21st June 2011:
Hi Lee Anne, I'm so glad we got each other this week because I've been meaning to read 'Seven Hills' for quite some time now. And might I say I am not disappointed in the least yet. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you really do have an original flare for mingling the HP universe with history where it all flows so smoothly that it's as though it all actually happened. It's so unique and different, yet I love the way you wrote Tom and how you developed the character of Portia. Over all, great prologue and I can't wait to read the other four chapters.

Author's Response: Hello Leslie,
Thank you so much for the wonderful review! As you mentioned, I was so pleased to be paired up with you for Review Exchange. I really loved reading your fic and I truly am grateful for your thoughtful comments on this piece. Needless to say, I'm thrilled to hear that you liked the prologue. I know this story is vastly AU, so I was worried that some readers might be turned off right away. I'm glad you thought this first chapter worked well, though. ;) Again, thanks for everything! I hope you have a fantastic week. Take care and be well!

Lee Anne

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Review #17, by Phoenix_Flames The Die is Cast

7th June 2011:
Hello there, Lee Anne! :D I finally made it to the next chapter. I must apologize for the ridiculously long wait. But oh my gosh this was a wonderful chapter! I loved it. Absolutely loved it.

Once again I must commend you on such an original and clever plot line. I love Portia's character - actually. Haha I find it odd that I can like a woman who is in love with Voldemort but whatever. :P

She really is truly great. This was an awesome chapter. Everything is developing so nicely, and as always, I never really have any CC for you. You're a splendid writer with so much talent.

I LOVED the use of Grindewald in this. It was so clever, and I can only imagine where this will go! Elder wand trouble, here we go! And parties. Uh oh! I am looking forward to the future chapters, and I promise I will get around to them much sooner.

Awesome job, love!


Author's Response: Hi Drue,
Thank you so much for the fantastic review! As always, I was thrilled to hear from you. I'm so, so glad that you are still enjoying this story. Haha, yeah, Portia must be a bit odd to fall in love with Voldemort, although I suppose in this story, Tom Riddle never really becomes the Voldemort we know and hate. ;)

And I'm pleased that you liked Grindelwald's appearance. He really is a congenial old chap, despite being an absolute cut-throat and back-stabber.

Thanks again for everything! Your reviews are always fabulous. I do hope you have a pleasant week. Take care and be well!


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Review #18, by Phoenix_Flames Fortune Favors the Brave

22nd May 2011:
Lee Anne! I was so excited to see that you requested the next chapter. I had been dying to read the next, and now I had perfect reason to fit it into my schedule. :D

It was another wonderful chapter, and I loved it just as much as I loved the first. You really have a wonderful story forming. Portia's character is so original and unique. She fascinates me, and I love her personality. Her morals are different really from anything I've ever seen before, and she really does seem like the perfect kind of woman what would be in love with Tom. And the story line you have woven here is fascinating.

I'm intrigued for everything to come.

Fantastic chapter, Lee Anne! :)

xo. Drue

Author's Response: Hiya Drue!
Oh, I'm so pleased to hear that you enjoyed this chapter. Your feedback for the first installment was so kind and encouraging, I was absolutely thrilled to hear your opinion on the next chapter. I have to admit, I'm rather surprised that you like Portia as a character. I honestly thought that most readers would find her too mercenary and too military-minded to be sympathetic. And then again, she is a pretty big hypocrite, hehe. ;)

Again, thank you so much for the fantastic review! I will definitely drop by your queue and re-request in the near future. I hope you have a fantastic weekend!

Lee Anne

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Review #19, by LovelyMioneWeasley To the Strongest

19th May 2011:

I nearly squealed with excitement for an hour when I saw that this was updated. This is far better than any of the other books I'd been picking up lately ismply because your story combines two of my favorite things: history and Harry Potter. I love it!!

I enjoyed the bit with Tom; I think that you did an exceedingly excellent job letting us experience Tom through Portia's eyes. He is sort of slimy and settled in his ways; much like Portia is but Portia's lack of sexual nature or repression thereof makes me like her because I can relate to her with that. Tom is very settled in his charming and appealing ways as a man; they are both certainly imperfect but I just like Portia more xP

I definitely enjoyed the writing for this chapter especially between Tom and Grindelwald. I think that the mentor relationship was a perfect way to explain them and I like the idea that Grindelwald is threatened by her. I think that Portia is a force to be reckoned and is most certainly just noa 'woman.' Loved it!!

I'm so glad that you are updating this and I loved the ending of this. It was a cliffhanger without actually being a cliffhanger. I think that it was brilliant to use this for a closer.

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi Lindsey,
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback! I'm so glad to hear that you're still enjoying this story. And I have to admit, I always squee when I receive a review from you. I just adore your detailed comments. You really are an awesome reviewer.

I'm very pleased that you found Tom likable. He is quite the slimy guy in this story, although I think there is something undeniably attractive about him, which is what draws Portia to him like a moth to a flame, hehe. And you're absolutely right about Portia being repressed. She does repress everything, emotions, urges, you name it. I think she also has this false notion that her ability to remain in-control at all times gives her a heightened sense of morality, which she believes Tom lacks.

Also, I'm really happy to hear that you liked Tom's interaction with Grindelwald in this chapter. To be honest, I fussed over that scene a fair bit, because their relationship is very changeable. Tom definitely looks up to Grindelwald as a father figure, but then again, he also has a problem authority, so he does have a bit of rebellious streak. ;)

Again, thanks a million for the awesome review! I already have the next chapter written and should be posting it next week. I hope you have a great weekend! Take care! ^_^

Lee Anne

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Review #20, by Phoenix_Flames Prologue

24th April 2011:
Hello, I'm here with your review as requested!

Wow. Just wow. I really have no idea what is going on in this story, but I am so eager to find out. You have captured Portia's personality excellently and characterized her brilliantly. She is so unique and original. I like how you voice Portia's thoughts and intersperce them into the story. It flows so well and really makes for an intriguing plot. Your descriptions are excellent, and you gave given this story so much life. I can't wait to see where you are taking this.

You have an awesome story forming. I'm pretty sure I am going to favorite this. ;) I will be back to read the next chapters after I have emptied my queue. Thank you for requesting!



Author's Response: Hi Drue,
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the amazing review! You've left me quite speechless. I am thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this prologue. As I've mentioned to reviewers before, I think my first chapters are consistently the weakest, so I wasn't sure what readers would think of this one.

I'm also very glad that you liked Portia. To be honest, she isn't the nicest person in the world and she more or less deserves what's coming to her, haha. ;)

Again, thanks so much for the fantastic feedback! I cannot possibly express how much I appreciate your support and encouragement. ^_^ Have a great week and take care!


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Review #21, by electricfeel The Die is Cast

15th April 2011:
Hi electricfeel here with your review finally. I can only apologise profusely at the length of time its taken me to get round to this!

It was so great to come back to another chapter of this. It's fast becoming one of my favourites on HPFF. Firstly, I actually really liked the ending of the chapter and although I haven't seen the original, I think you have made the right decision to shorten it. 7000 words can sometimes throw too much information into the mix at the one time and be a lot to digest.

If this was on paper and not on a computer screen, I would have pulled out my highlighter and highlighted the paragraph where you described Grindelwald. Honestly, such fantastic writing. It is the absolute example of a well-written description. Even the opening line -- "He was older than she had expected, although age had handled him gently" it is so simply but I just loved it!

I've seen writers set up a character really fantastically before, for it all to crumble when it came to actually writing the character. Thankfully, this hasn't been the case here. Gellert is everything I expected. He's extremely clever, calculating, a true soldier and there's something about him I suspect I will never completely trust. The unexpected guests at the end was a great tool to show just how ahead of the game he can be. Really great.

The plot is so layered and is developing some complexity now. There are so many relationships just waiting to be explored, so many subplots unfurling and so many characters waiting to be developed. It really ensures that readers will return. I'm just finding this to be a really intelligent story if that makes sense.

I don't think you'll ever request a review for this story from me and I'll leave anything scathing. I just adore this story too much. I wish I had written it. I do hope you request again, and I promise I won't leave it so long to review next time.

Author's Response: Hello electric feel,
Oh my! What an amazing review. I feel so spoiled by your wonderful feedback. Thank you so much! Your kind comments and encouragement really made my day. I'm so, so, so glad to hear that you're enjoying this story.

And please don't apologize for not reviewing right away. I completely understand how crazy RL can get. To be honest, the last few weeks have been terribly hectic for me (which is why it took me forever to post this reply), so I certainly know what it feels like to not have enough time in the day. ;)

Now, let's see if I can form a coherent reply to your fabulous review. I have to admit, my review responses tend to be a bit rambling, so please forgive me! I'm so pleased to hear that you thought it was a good idea to cut this chapter in half. After I finished writing the first draft, I saw the tremendous word count and thought "Wow, even I wouldn't have the patience to read all this!" Hehe. Although, as I mentioned in my author's note, I was slightly worried that the break would seem abrupt. I suppose that's because I always obsess over transitions and what-not. ^_^

Also, I was absolutely thrilled to hear that you liked Grindelwald. And you're right not to trust him completely. He's not a bad guy, per say, although he does have a few interesting tricks up his sleeve that should keep Portia on her toes. When it comes down to it, Grindelwald really is the better politician. He can outwit Portia when it comes statesmanship and tact, however, Portia definitely outstrips him as a soldier.

And I'm glad you liked my description of Grindelwald. To be honest, I was picturing him as looking a little bit like Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector, haha.

Again, thank you so much for the awesome review! I was deliriously happy to receive your feedback. ^_^ I hope you have a great week. Take care and be well!


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Review #22, by kirstenalanna Prologue

30th March 2011:
kirstenalanna from the forums with your review!

Honestly...I don't know how to review this. Usually there is some chink in the armour that I can focus on...but I couldn't really pick up much.

we got a lot of information, but not so it was overloaded...which is really good and hard to do BTW.

you've got me here. just reading the prologue, I want to read more which is the general idea with a prologue.

the flow was very, very good. It was a smooth read.

the only thing that I can think of to improve would be to add more description. But other than that...I can't raelly think of anything

good, good job here!!


Author's Response: Hello kirstenalanna,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and review this first chapter. It was really great hearing from you and I do truly appreciate your kind comments.

I'm so glad you thought this chapter read well and wasn't too slow. As I've told all of my readers, first chapters are always so incredibly tricky for me to write for some reason. I don't know why, but it usually takes me at least five tries to get something that I'm at least semi-happy with, haha.

And thanks for your advice regarding description. I will certainly keep it in mind when I write future chapters.

Again, thanks for the lovely feedback, kirstenalanna! I do hope you have a pleasant week. ^_^ Take care and be well!


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Review #23, by TallestTower Prologue

21st March 2011:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review (finally). I'm really sorry about the long wait!!

Wow, your writing style is beautiful. Not only is the description beautiful, of both surroundings and characters (the way you captured their relationship was lovely, but more of that later), I really felt like it characterized Portia extremely well. Her embedded thoughts and the tone of the piece introduced her character incredibly. I loved that opening - "Portia lifted an eyebrow. How very fitting. The commander becoming the commanded, the prized hound forced to sniff at the door for scraps like a mutt. How utterly appropriate." In just a few sentances you gave an impression of her intelligence, sense of pride, strength I suppose. Lovely.

Like I said, the description was lovely. You really created the atmosphere of the villa, I especially enjoyed the description of the wine-dark sea. The, I don't know how to phrase it haha, opulence? of her surroundings compared to her unromantic view of it was lovely, it really brought out her past. It seemed to add a lot of depth to her character.

I loved the tension throughout. The way you dropped in pieces of information. The whole scene (Tom riddle in a villa in Greece?) was new to me, so I was hanging onto your every word as the story developed. I liked the historical aspects of it, although I'm sure a lot of it is/will be lost on me. The way Portia's mind explained her situation and her relationship with Tom gradually made it all the more hooking to read and realistic.

I absolutely adored the interchange between Tom and Portia. It was lovely. Particularly the imagery of her showing him her cards has stuck with me. The tension and drama between them was just ah! I really really loved the contrasting descriptions of Tom. "Dark, ugly scent." You really got a sense of his darker side, whilst he still remained alluring. He definately seemed like Portia's weakness! Beautifully written.

One thing I did think was a bit awkward was:

"“Broken,” he said, his arms falling at his sides as he rounded the desk."

I really liked the way her thoughts led onto his speech, and I understand and think it's an accurate characterization that he is taunting her with her weakness, but it didn't seem to me as realistic as other parts. I felt like it perhaps needed a description of his facial expression or something?

Anyway, this was an absolute pleasure to read, the characterization and the descriptions were incredible. Very intense and emotive! Hope this feedback helped, I loved reading it :)

Author's Response: Hello TallestTower,
Oh my, thank you so much for the wonderful review! Your feedback was absolutely fantastic. I really am so grateful for all of your kind, thoughtful comments. And please don't apologize for the delay. I know what it's like to be incredibly busy. After all, RL is way more important than some silly fanfic. ;)

I'm so glad you thought the imagery suited Portia's personality. She's a soldier, so she tends to view things from a practical standpoint, although I think even she was intimidated by Tom's elegant villa. So, needless to say, I really am so happy that you noticed how straightforward her thoughts are compared to her beautiful surroundings. I guess she's not one to take the time to stop and smell the roses, hehe.

And as far as the "wine-dark" sea goes, I can't take credit for that. That particular image is found over and over again in classical Greek literature. As my English professor told me while we were reading The Odyssey, the Greeks were rather fond of it and always described the sea as "wine-dark". I decided to include it in this chapter because I wanted to pay homage to antiquity in some way. ^_^

I'm really very pleased to hear that you enjoyed the exchange between Tom and Portia. Since this story is AU, I wasn't sure if I was giving out too much info or too little. I do have this awful tendency to be cryptic when setting up my plot, which isn't a good thing, considering I decided to set this story in an alternate universe, hehe. I do hope I didn't make things too confusing!

And thanks for pointing out that awkward bit. You're right, that line could definitely be fleshed out. I will definitely go back and revise it.

Again, thank you for the awesome review, TallestTower. Your feedback means so much to me and I appreciate all the time you took to let me know what you thought of this first chapter. I hope you have a great week! Take care and be well!


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Review #24, by liza_potter Prologue

17th March 2011:
Hello celticbard! This is Liza (lizzacc) from TGS with your requested review. ^_^ I hope you are well.

Just as a bit of a disclaimer: All history references will probably be lost on me. Unless they're blatantly clear. Like 'my four year old brother could understand' clear. xD And with that out of the way, let's get on with the actual review, shall we?

The first thing I noticed was your writing style. No one really writes like this anymore. As the years go on, the writing styles change. I feel like today's writing style is more fast-paced, more dialogue. And yours is vastly different - in a good way, mind - and just a breath of fresh air. You have this wonderful way with words. Like here:

“It seems as though I’ve won,” he said softly, letting each word fall one by one, stones breaking the surface of a frozen river.

The ice shattered.


Just wow. I don't know why that line stood out to me, but it did. It's just so... elegant. And I really feel like there is a much better word to describe your writing - I don't know if any word will ever really describe your writing to the fullest - but 'elegant' is what comes to mind. Classic. Stunning. Brava. ♥

I love your Tom. He's just so very vile and I'm eating it up. How he takes great pride in destroying Portia- I love it. I really do. And Portia! I can't help but feel Tom really is her only weakness. She strikes me as a very, very strong character- fearless and belonging on the battlefield. She's a rock, a muscle. The fighting muscle, if you will. :P She's tough as nails, and I'm almost glad Tom broke her since it shows she has a weakness. She's still human; she can still fall in love. The same could not be said for Tom.

I don't actually remember the wordcount but it seems to have flown by. It's amazing since it feels like I read only 500 words but the impact it left was so much more than that. It just reads very well. There's no grammer errors or anything like that to distract me. Plus, your writing has a very... calm and cool quality to it. It's very smooth and liquid-like.

I'm rambling here since I really have no idea what to say. I feel like I'm all over the place with this review so I apologize for that. But a truly stunning chapter.

Author's Response: Hello Liza!
Oh my. What a wonderful review! *blushes* To be honest, I don't think I've stopped smiling since I received this review. Thank you so much! Your feedback was so inspiring and encouraging. I cannot possibly express how grateful I am for you kind comments. I really do appreciate all the time you took to write out such a thoughtful, in-depth review. So again, thank you!

Haha, don't worry about the historical references. When it comes down to it, they're not at all important to the actual plot of the story. I just happen to be a huge nerd who likes to draw random parallels between historical figures and HP characters. See what a dork I am. ;)

And, needless to say, I'm so pleased to hear that you liked my writing style. Sometimes I think my overall phrasing and flowery language tends to be a bit archaic. I'm a huge fan of the Romantic Era, so I definitely think I subconsciously model my style after some very old-fashioned prose, hehe. I'm glad you didn't find the narrative or dialogue too stilted, though. I know I have a nasty habit of over-writing. ^_^

I'm really happy to hear that you liked Tom, too. Yes, he is vile. Not a nice guy at all. But then again, Portia herself isn't a very nice woman. I absolutely loved how you described her in your review...the rock, the muscle. That's definitely Portia. I'm afraid Tom isn't her only weakness though. In fact, I think he's the result of all her weaknesses combined. Even though she blames him for her downfall, she really owes it all to self-destruction.

Again, thank you so much for the fantastic review, Liza! ^_^ I'll definitely stop by your thread and re-request in the near future. Have a great week and take care!

Lee Anne

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Review #25, by electricfeel Fortune Favors the Brave

9th March 2011:
Hi, electricfeel here with your requested review.

Oh, I was so happy to see you had requested again, reading this story is just always such a pleasure. The flow and pace is just perfect, I always seem to get completely lost in it. Your descriptions are just so real, which I think I may have mentioned in the last review and I don't want to keep repeating myself but really, they are fantastic. Everything feels so real; the places, the people, the emotions, the movements, the setting. Everything.

I love your characterisation of Portia thus far. She's a flawed character who seems to me very proud and perhaps a little overbearing. Yet, despite this she's still actually quite likeable. She's this strong, brave woman in a man's world so her personality is completely understandable and expected yet still unique. I also ADORED your inclusion of Moody, I just got such a surge of happiness at the idea of a young Alastor, and you wrote him perfectly which really just made my heart soar. I am genuinely beside myself with excitement at the prospect of him popping up again in later chapters. And the Minister, I think, was done very well. As a politics nerd I'm always wary when writers bring a political character into their story, especially if they have a very limited knowledge of politics themselves. Writing someone with a political mind isn't the easiest of tasks, but again, you've managed this really well. Henry Elrod is very much a politician, I can see Portia respecting him and appreciating him despite how different he is from her. I found their friendship rather endearing.

The plot is another plus, it's so intriguing and different. I really love that about it, there's no telling which direction this story will go in which is utterly fantastic (unless for readers who have a better knowledge of classical history, perhaps they might have an inkling). I really love how you've went back ten years in time, it's an interesting technique to use and one I don't think I could dare try myself for fear of just giving everything away and losing the readers interest. You've managed it flawlessly though, well done!

I'm now really interested to meet Grindelwald and a younger Tom. To make your reader feel like this just shows how fantastic your writing is. You've laid the foundations for these characters already without them even having a line of dialogue (well, in the case of Grindelwald). It's a very impressive talent within your writng.

Everything about this story is just so fantastic. I'm really excited to see how this story will unfold.

Author's Response: Hello electricfeel,
Thank you so much for the kind review! Your feedback has been just great and I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, especially the imagery. I know I do have a tendency to be somewhat heavy-handed when it comes to descriptive language, but I'm happy that you thought the imagery was appropriate.

And I'm really pleased that you liked my characterization. Yes, Portia definitely has some serious issues. She's a tough woman, but not quite as tough as she thinks, which unfortunately works to her disadvantage. She also has some problems with hubris and hypocrisy, but there'll be more on that later. ;) And yay! I'm glad you liked Moody's appearance. He will be a major character in this fic and should pop up quite frequently in future chapters. Also, I was quite happy (and relieved) to hear that you thought Henry Elrod turned out all right. He's sort of a back-ground character, always moving behind the scenes, although he is essential to the plot. Though you are right, he is very different from Portia. Unfortunately, Portia knows absolutely nothing about the world of politics, which is not exactly helpful considering she interacts with politicians so often.

And I'm glad you didn't find the ten year time jump too jarring. I was a bit worried about that, especially since the tone of this chapter is so different from the prologue. ;)

Grindelwald will be popping up in the next chapter and Tom won't be too far behind, I promise. ^_^ Thanks again for the awesome review! I will definitely drop by your queue in the near future and re-request. I hope you have a great week! Take care!


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