A Crabbe fic! Never have read one of these before, but this is a completely new perspective for me!
First off, I just like the idea of Crabbe having complex thoughts beyond the line of "Derrr.I want to hit something." You developed his character so well! You've given him a family past in which to explain his present. (Well the present of the story, R.I.P. Vincent Crabbe.) The repetition of his internal blunders where he corrects himself to follow Draco's ideologies were great, especially those in which he finds the need to call Hermione "Mudblood" vs. "Granger."
The flow of the story was good as well, transitioning between Crabbe's internal thoughts and actual events well. The use of present-tense, versus the usual past-tense that I see writers use, caught me off guard, but once I got used to it, it had no negative effect on the writing.
The constant comparison between Crabbe's friends and the Gryffindor's golden quartet (I botched up the golden trio, but meh) was a great effect to stress the main idea that Crabbe wishes for friends like the golden quartet. Yet, he is too blinded by Slytherin slyness and loyalty to the house, to actually realize that his friends are not the sort of friends he wishes for.
The story flowed well! Then again, it was a very short time frame... The only thing that stopped me was that he was continuously referred to as "Crabbe," never "Vincent" or even "Vincent Crabbe."
Overall, I really like this perspective of him!
LibertyAuthor's Response: Hi there! I've finally got back to answering reviews! Took me a while, didn't it?
I don't think I've ever even seen another Crabbe fic. I was actually looking around for one, to compare and contrast my ideas with it, but I couldn't seem to find one.
I'm so happy that you liked the way Crabbe was written. The poor guy must have had a really bad childhood to have turned out the way he did. I think he's the kind of person who is easily persuaded to follow a certain ideology. That's why hew would act so terribly towards muggles... that's how he's been brought up.
Ah yes... the present tense. I just sort of slipped into it when I was writing it, and then noticed when I proofread it. I thought it made it sound different... so I kept it in!
Poor Crabbe would have so little in his life that would be considered nice or kind. I think that's why the Golden trio (or quartet... whatever you'd like to call it :) ) would seem so strange and yet so ideal to him. He would want (as everyone does. really) to have friends who were nice to him, rather than friends who like him only because he can protect them.
I'm so happy it flowed well. I did actually consider, but eventually decided against calling him Vincent. Firstly, I thought that not a lot of people would know who it was, if I only called him Vincent, and I didn't want to break the continuity of the story by calling him Vincent Crabbe sometimes, and only Vincent others. Also, I thought that just calling him Crabbe made it seem like he was more alone. Using the first name seemed really personal, and friendly; not the sort of mood I was trying to get across.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for such a lovely long review!
Yes friends do not lie to each other. I wonder if this is the beginning of when he and Goyle turned against Draco later on. A very good one off for which I give you 10/10. I have the beginning of a new story called POWER OF THE ANCIENTS posted.Author's Response: Thanks again for another lovely review. I'll be sure to check out your new story when I get a chance... busy time right now :) I have the feeling that Crabbe and Gole began to turn on Draco a while back, but it took time for them to get to the stage of open mutiny that we see at the end of Deathly Hallows. Remember, at this part in the story, Draco is still telling tales of his close relationship with the Dark Lord. Thanks again for all the great reviews! Report Review
I was going to read another cute fic of yours, because you do them so well, but this one really caght my eye. Firsy I ad my doubts - I though you wrote Crabbe as being too stupid, but I really got into it then and think you voiced it really well, like an actual stream of consciousness. Some parts in particular of this are so very powerful - about Crabbe's relationshi[p with violence, with his father... Wow. Also very poignant when you remember Crabbe's death in DH. Seriously, well done!!! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I have to confess that I did consider making Crabbe smarter, but I didn't because I wanted to make his whole existence more sad. I'm cruel, I know. I figured that if I made him the type of kid who was bullied at home, and then went off to school and made friends with someone who essentially continued to bully him, he would become much more of a sympathetic character. I'm glad you linked it to his death in the last book... I never liked Crabbe, but I'm ready to admit that I felt awful when he died :( Thanks again for leaving such a lovely review! Report Review
This is brilliant! It's such a great work from a different point of view. It makes us realise how little we know about Crabbe and see that he really is confused and manipulated by parents and friends. I love the bit about Hermione being nice to him and Crabbe wondering why none of the Slytherins are never nice. Well done!Author's Response: Oooh! Another lovely review! I'm so happy that you liked it! Crabbe's a very interesting character. Like you say, he is really easily manipulated by those who have more power than he (which is a lot of people). The part where Hermione's nice to him comes straight from the books (the sixth one, after Harry and Ron get out of the hospital wing) and I thought it would be so confusing for poor polyjuiced Crabbe or Goyle to see the trio. That was a really run-on sentence! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I really like it! Crabbe is sort of just one of those characters that everyone seems to forget about, and I'm glad that you gave him his own story.Author's Response: I completely agree with you. Crabbe is one of those characters who just kinda fits into the background, and then jumps out when you least expect him to (like in the last book, where he took me completely by surprise and started attacking the trio. I mean... what?) so he's often pushed to the back of the reader's mind. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Great story! I'm sorry I can't think of any constructive criticism, because it was kinda perfect. Poor Crabbe. I just wanted to go into your story, give him a big ol' hug and say: "I will be your friend!" But I can't. Which is saddening.
Loved it! Great job!Author's Response: Wow! What an amazing review! You're far too kind! Yes, I too would love to be Crabbe's friend, but unfortunately 'tis impossible. As soon as I figure out how to jump into fiction, I'll let you know! Thanks for all the lovely reviews you've given me! Report Review
Wow! Your writing shines... but not only that, this psychological study of Crabbe proves to me that you think deeply about your subjects, and understand them to a level uncommon amongst amateur writers.
I was moved by Crabbe's desire to understand, and his failure to act against his learned nature. His IQ is truly lacking - he reminds me of a sad Neanderthal, contemplating the mysteries of life.
And yet the compassion with which you portrayed him gave him a kind of dignity I wouldn't have believed possible. A very sensitive piece. You excel at this kind of thing, and should be chained to your word processor, except for mealtimes. No sleep, sorry. :)
A few spelling errors, but I won't hold it against you. Editing your own work is hard, I know from long experience. You could possibly benefit from a beta reader...
One of my favourites, and another 10.Author's Response: Crabbe is a pretty interesting character. We don't really know a lot about him from the books, so I wanted him to have some kind of back story. Most bullies are really insecure (take Malfoy for example) so I made poor Crabbe have a bad home life. He's really not a smart guy in the normal sense, but I don't think he's stupid. He's able to conjure up some fiend fire in the seventh book, and that's some pretty intense stuff. He's more street smart (If you're on a really dark and terrifying street) than anything else. But even if he was bullied at home, and has the IQ of a beetle, Crabbe's still a Pureblood. I think that the thing about most of the Slytherin students during Harry's time at Hogwarts is that they are only doing what they think is right; they were raised to hate muggles, so that's what they do. The Purebloods are still the aristocracy of the Wizarding world, even if they chose to mistreat it. That's why they've all got a sort of dignity about them. It's the only thing they know. I'll definitely look into getting a beta reader; to be fair, I haven't gone over and edited this again, but I think it's probably a good idea anyways. As much as you'd like it, being chained to my computer has some disadvantages, so I don't think it'll be happening... well, not for a while at least :) Thanks for another amazingly fantastically wonderful review! Report Review
Holy shmokers! I love this so much!
I have noticed Crabbe wonders alot.
You know what I think? I think Crabbe should ditch his so-called friends and hand out with better people so he wouldn't have to wonder so much. (eh, he's probably wonder anyways) Haha. I think that is what good friends and good people would do. :)
I'm still having trouble imagining Crabbe as a Hufflepuff first year... hehe... so short and cute!Author's Response: Aw shucks! Thanks so much! I definitely think that you're right; Crabbe should totally get rid of his stupid Slytherin friends and come hang out with some better people... maybe, like, me! I could deal with that! Heck, anyone from Harry Potter could come chill with me and I wouldn't complain... even ol' Voldie! Except you're probably right about him wondering still. He's just that kind of guy, I guess. As for Crabbe as a Hufflepuff first year... hehehehe yeah, I wish they'd put that in the movies. It would be very interesting to watch, that's for sure! Thanks for reading and for such a nice review! Report Review
Very interesting. I love different perspectives of the series, especially when done so well! Many people overlook Crabbe, mostly because they don't know much about him and think that there's not much to his character. But I like this spin on it. You brought out his childlike quality along with a touch of .. wisdom, shall we call it? I mean, at least he does think or "wonder". Great job yet again!Author's Response: You know, you make me so happy! Every single time I look at your reviews this big smile comes to my face; it's really great! I really like the supporting characters in the Harry Potter books; they make the world seem that much better. I guess that's why I seem to write more about them, and less about the main characters who we know so well. The thing about Crabbe is that he's the kind of guy who's not very smart in the way we think smart people should be, and yet he's kind of brilliant in a really twisted, evil sense. Or at least, that's the kind of vibe I'm getting from him! I'm glad that you liked it, and I'm so happy that you reviewed... I think I honestly love you! Happy Holidays! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection