Reading Reviews for A Choice to Stay
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Catalina A Choice to Stay

11th October 2014:
I have no words for this piece. It is very wel written, and talks about pain in a good way, not in a 'oh it means nothing way'. Great job! Building a relationship back up is never easy. I love your take on it.

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Review #2, by anon A Choice to Stay

7th June 2013:
perfect. perfect, perfect, perfect, and absolutely lovely. who knew second person present tense could be written so wonderfully?

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Review #3, by A. A Choice to Stay

22nd January 2013:
very, very good. 2nd person was awkward to begin with but i think that's just because i'm not used to reading stories written that way, by the end i barely noticed. i'm so impressed i'm going to look at what else you've written, haha.

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Review #4, by StormStone A Choice to Stay

30th December 2012:
That was beautifully fabulous. Bravo!

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Review #5, by phoenix A Choice to Stay

12th October 2012:
Your story was just amazing!! the way you wrote, your command over language and your expression of emotions were perfect!! i especially liked the sentence: you're a moth to his burning light" GREAT WORK!

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Review #6, by Noturavggurl A Choice to Stay

27th September 2012:
Beautifully written! I like the happy ending. I appreciate the
proper spelling and punctuation.

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Review #7, by feathers101 A Choice to Stay

23rd September 2012:
That was amazing! I really really really loved that!!!

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Review #8, by inkwell A Choice to Stay

13th September 2012:
Wow. Just WOW.

This is probably one of the best one-shots I've read, and one of the best Drastorias too. I'm a big fan of Drastoria, so I was very happy to see that your characterization of both of them was very convincing and realistic and just... perfect. Draco is very much in character and Astoria has a deliciously complex personality, what with becoming aware of her own strength and needs and taking her life in her own hands. At some point you had me believing that they wouldn't end up together (and it actually seemed to be a pretty healthy decision on Astoria's part), but the change in Draco was so discreet and delicate that to have them reunite seemed both plausible and sensible at the same time. Bravo!

You are undoubtedly a very gifted writer. Each word in this fic is cold and sharp like a knife, and combined with the second person perspective, it creates a haunting effect. I just loved the imagery and I would quote my favourite parts, but then I would probably have to copy-paste the whole story in this review!

I'm so glad I came across this magnificent story!

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Review #9, by lily16 A Choice to Stay

23rd May 2011:
This is probably the most beautiful one shot I've ever read. You're really an amazing writer :)

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Review #10, by mMalfoy A Choice to Stay

13th March 2011:
This was beautiful. Very, very good.

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Review #11, by sparrowsong A Choice to Stay

29th January 2011:
i loved ot so much!!! it was like the best story i have heard in like forever!!!

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Review #12, by xtinjsc A Choice to Stay

13th January 2011:
This is just absolutely jaw-dropping and delicious and beautiful - I LOVE IT! The tension was just... gah! It's everywhere: Astoria's thoughts, her words, Draco's actions, in their interactions - so tangible and alive and fiery... I am SO glad I read this. Thank you for writing this wonderful piece.

I love everything about this. The use of the second person POV is just impressive. Your words, the way you use them and handle them and wield them - simply captivating. I've seen some good stories ruined by dizzying flowery descriptions, but yours are just balanced and easy and elegant and that's just part of the reason why I'm gushing about this. :P I can go on and on about my favourite lines, but I'm afraid that I'll probably exceed the character limit if I do that. Haha. Some of the lines, though, are just superb. Like this, for example:

The elegant slip of parchment that ties your name to his might have been more than just ink upon a page. It might have been a partnership. It might have been the truth.

*applause*

It's just so... gah! It's one way to blow away your readers with gorgeous description, it is another to stun them with powerful sentences like that. It's just pure talent. *is in love*

The way you developed the story, with the carefully chosen moments that narrate how and why Astoria came to her decision, is very nifty. If you think about it, in the grand scheme of things, it's really the details, the little moments like those that make a story work, right? And you've captured them brilliantly and not only that, but the transition is very clever as well. The repetition of If you think about it long enough... in every section just ties the whole story together. It's not choppy at all, which is a rather tricky feat to achieve in a story with this format. You are awesome.

I've always been fascinated by the pureblood world. It's very exclusive and grand, with its own flaws and distinctions, and the subtle way that the dynamics of that world translates into this story is just lovely (I'm slowly running out of adjectives. :P). It's very clever, the way the whole set-up adds to the conflict, especially the way how the characters react to it.

Characterization is just amazing. Astoria - how can I not love her after reading this? Her longing and craving for her husband is just to raw and palpable, that I cannot help but feel for her character. I adore her development in this story, how she starts as a someone who just floats with the current, then slowly and gradually transforms into someone who's taking charge of her own life. It's hard not to cheer for a character like that. The change in her is beautifully done as well, not forced, just slow and steady and real. And Draco! Gosh. I must tell you, I'm not a fan of the guy, but your version of him is just so... good. And the best part is, you retain the Draco that we know from the books - that cold arrogant proud pureblood that we all know. There's something about him in this fic that fits JKR's version of him, you know? I mean, we all know that the wizarding world changed a lot after the Second War, but I've always seen Draco's character as one of those few to be left behind. Regrets can arrest a person's development and Draco, sadly, is not strong enough to let go easily, I think, which is why I adore him on this one. He's just so... conflicted and aloof and alone. :S But what I absolutely love (again) is how you've chosen to sort of give him that shining moment when he went after his wife. He made a decision, he took a step - baby steps, maybe, but that's probably one of the bravest thing ever and because of that, I can't help but cheer for him too. ^_^

I guess, I should be sorry for the lack of CC's and the blatant gushing review, but forgive me if I don't feel particularly apologetic right now. Teehee. :P First of all, you deserve a gushing review and second, I don't feel worthy to give CC's to someone as talented as you. As I said, I love everything about this and all I want to do really is shower you with love and appreciation for writing such an honest and beautiful piece, so thank you! I am now a fan. *squee*

Author's Response: Oh wow... I don't even know how to formulate an appropriate response to this epic, god-like review... I just read it like 30 times and stopped short of printing it off and framing it.

I just love how much you got it, the story and what I was trying to communicate with it. You never really know if the reader is going to perceive things the way you want. And particularly with a story like this, using the second person perspective because it can be so alienating. And I really didn't want that. I was also concerned that some people might have viewed Astoria as weak... but she's not. She's just young and - particularly in the early stages - impressionable and naive. I really wanted her growth and quiet strength to come through.

I'm so glad that I had you cheering them both on, it's the best kind of response I could hope for. And I'm most particularly thrilled that you enjoyed the characterisations :D I write Draco a lot, so I feel almost at home in his little world but it's always good to hear that someone who isn't drawn to his character in the same way, can empathise with him and his situation. He's a flawed character, but that's what makes him so enjoyable to write about.

No response is going to properly communicate quite how much I adored this review, so I'm going to keep it simple and just say a resounding thank you for you generosity and the lovely thought provoking words you left me with.

xox Kylie


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Review #13, by MajiKat A Choice to Stay

31st December 2010:
GAH

Kylie, I am sorry it took me so long to read this. First, thank you for taking up my challenge - you more than did it justice!!

now, onto the 'marking', lol.
What I love about your work is your ability to make me believe anything. If you wrote a 'poor-Tom Riddle' story I would believe it. Your characterise perfectly and I had absolutely no choice but to be Astoria in this - her voice was excellent. It drew me in from the very first word and it was like, not only was I her, but she was sitting down telling me this, letting me be her, but not forcing me into it. And that is what fantastic second person should do - invite you to be the narrator and hold you there. Never force you.

The power of your words and your command of language never fails to impress me hun. Your use of figurative language is just beautiful - for instance, You can see it pressing up against the windows like little white fists, curling against the glass.

everything comes alive when you write it. your imagery is stunning, so poetic yet not forced. it all flows within the context of the piece and again, that is something you do so well - the narrative voice is never broken, the pace is always perfect: never rushed and never slow.

The use of short, sharp sentences is perfect for second person and perfect still for present tense, and you do this wonderfully! I like the way you use incomplete sentences - you use them with impact, not as fillers and not because you don't know any better. Every word has purpose and meaning and is the perfect word for wherever it falls in the story.

You should write more second person. Seriously. This was amazing!

I also loved the use of rhetorical devices - so powerful when they were used, and again, you used them in the right places. The dialogue was wonderful - words were not wasted and I loved the ending!! I loved Draco's words - so meaningful yet not gushy, because that is not the Draco you gave me.

I love that you can personify anything and make it work: It wraps around you like the breeze and pushes you closer to him. Itís musty and learned, like old books, candle wax and possibility.

I love that - you give a scent a personality O.O

Kylie, without a doubt, this was one of the most amazing things I have ever read. I am not kidding you. This was beautiful. Thank you for writing it. Thank you for taking me into this world and letting me rest there for a bit.

Kate xx

I will announce the winner of this challenge in my blog within the next few days! Happy New Year (it's 10.30pm right now...)

Author's Response: Gah! So late in this response, but no less enthusiastic :D I absolutely LOVED this challenge Kate. It was really exciting to challenge myself in a new way and I think there's been a lasting impact because I've found myself writing a new Rose/Scorpius one-shot in 2nd POV :)

You know I always love to hear your thoughts on my writing because you just get it and where I'm coming from so well.

So thanks again for such an absolutely gorgeous review, it totally made my day, and thanks for creating such a fabulous and inspiring challenge.

You're awesome! xox


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Review #14, by FanFiCritic A Choice to Stay

29th December 2010:
Well.. that was interesting.

I'm a Dramione fan at heart and I was truly hoping Hermione would at least be mentioned somewhere in this.

I know that this is Astoria's head speaking, but in general, women KNOW when their husband's hearts are longing for someone else. Even if that someone is dead or otherwise lost.

But, alas, her name or her "essence" was never mentioned.

I feel bad for anyone living in those conditions... it happens in real life, unfortunately.

Him making amends in the end, was, well... I just can't help it... he should be with Hermione. LOL!

In spite of my Dramione hang-ups, this was excellent.

Expertly written by the way. 2nd person is tough!

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Review #15, by rubix_cube A Choice to Stay

22nd December 2010:
i LOVED it.it was amazing and captivating. The tense worked so well. I just wish there was more!

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Review #16, by Olwyn A Choice to Stay

15th December 2010:
Hello, hi there. This was really good. I LOVED the language that you learned. It was all so sensual (not in a romance novel way, in a taste, touch, etc way), and it brought the story to a dynamic level. Nothing critical I can think of. The characterization of everyone was great.
WELL DONE. Olwyn

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for such a lovely review Olwyn! I really appreciate the feedback.

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Review #17, by Dasu A Choice to Stay

13th December 2010:
Beautiful. I absolutaly loved this, i never usally read one shots, but i'm glad i did, you portrayed the idea really well, great read.

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