I agree with everyone. This is one of the best Xmas stories. And You did get the potter kids perfect.. even if we don't really know what they are like. You put a brilliant picture in our heads.
Excellent writing! Excellent story.
Thanks for a delightful story.Author's Response: Hi Ginger!!! thank you so much :D
I have little siblings of my own and they're always up to something, so I definitely drew inspiration for the potter kids from somewhere. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!! Report Review
Aww so cute! That was a good idea, polyjuice potion. I loved this story, overall, but one of my favorite things was Ginny and the cookies :)
10/10Author's Response: Hi Missyduch!
thank you so much! Ginny and cookies are pretty hilarious :) thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This is so cute, I love it. I just have one issue - is it Harry and Ginny after taking polyjuice potion, or other characters?Author's Response: Hi!! thanks! I'm glad you liked it :D Yes, it's Harry and Ginny :P
thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Aw. That put me in the Christmas spirit! (Well, it's Febuary but you know) The children are really lovely and I laughed out loud at 'My lungs are getting irratated' and '(With a few exceptions)' Thank you - I am a big fan of all your stories!Author's Response: lol! Christmas spirit is great any time of the year. Thank you so much! your reviews have really made my day! like seriously, I was falling asleep during bio class, and I checked my account- and it was like BAM! reviews! and then I was smiling like a maniac :D Report Review
This is for review tag :)
I absolutely love this! This was so adorable, especially all of the personalities of the kids. James was spot on with his obvious superiority and I love the bickering about code names. So adorable! Overall, it was a very enjoyable story and I loved every second of it. 10/10
~webeta123Author's Response: hi webeta!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!! I loved writing each of their individual personalities, especially James with his superiority and Lily with her ginny-esque type of personality :) Thanks for reviewing!! Report Review
I don't know if you'll even see this seeing as you published so long ago, but after you left me such nice reviews I came to look at your page and thought I would return the favour! Just wanted to say, I really, really loved this. This is always what I thought being in a big family would be like (I wish I had one!). The kids are just too cute, I want to hug them all!Author's Response: Hi Loopy!! this is a nice surprise :D I'm glad you liked this story! I also wish I had a large family and so many people to spend the holidays with :) Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Aw! This got me in the Christmas spirit and I've been a bit of a grumpster like James. This was so cute! Harry and Ginny are so clever. This was my favorite line:
"We wanna see Santa too," replied Hugo, "and give him cookies."
I just think Hugo is the cutest ever! I adored the code names that you came up with and all the next-Gen kids were really funny! I can't wait for part two!Author's Response: yay!! Christmas spirit! I'm the glad the story did that for you- I was hoping it would be a feel-good kinda story :) And Hugo is my absolutely favorite character to write- he's just so adorable! I'm glad you found it funny :) part two is already posted- but it's a different plot completely.
Thanks for reviewing!! Report Review
This was the perfect story to read this time of year to get into the Christmas spirit!
I really enjoyed the interactions between the kids, it seemed so realisitic and just like real kids. The code names and missions were really fun, and that's totally something I would have done at that age.
I also really enjoyed the twist at the end of having Harry and Ginny as the Clauses.
Overall this was a very enjoyable, feel-good story.Author's Response: Hi!!
Christmas is such a happy time of the year, especially since its winter break :D
I'm glad you enjoyed the kids' interactions- it was quiet easy to get across since I have two younger siblings age 3 and 5 :) I love writing about little kids, because it lets me go back to my childhood for just a little longer. I so would've done it too! except I wasn't that cool back then ^_^
Thanks for the great comments! Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
This was quite funny. I really enjoyed the idea and I thought that the code names were really cute. I think you captured the characteristics and dialogue of a little kid very well, especially when Hugo said that Santa was allergic to milk.
Your dialogue was great! It seemed really natural and flowed really smoothly from one sentence to another. The only thing I noticed about the dialogue was one sentence said by Ginny in the beginning. James had just said that Christmas was for babies who still believe that Santa is real to which Ginny replies that it's not just about the presents. I can see the link (Santa = presents), but I also think that you should try to make the connection between the two sentences a little more clear. It almost sounds (to me) like there's a part missing there.
However I think that you did a great job with the description. I thought that the cupcake description definitely helped to set the "Christmas" mood and later the description of them in lopsided red hats was amusing. "Trying to blend in seamlessly with the decoration"- ha.
The only thing I would suggest adding is a whispered conversation between James and Rose/Albus/Lily saying that they were right and Santa did exist. I feel that it would help to wrap up that end a little more- what little kid hasn't bragged about being right?
Your action was great. There probably wouldn't be a lot of action on a night-time stakeout, so it was appropriate that some of them fell asleep.
I loved the touch you added with the Mr and Ms Claus making the rounds. Were they Harry and Ginny? Anyways, the polyjuice touch was a brilliant idea.
All in all I really enjoyed reading this story. Thanks for requesting a review and I hope my comments are helpful!Author's Response: Hi!! Thanks! I'm glad you found it funny :D
Yeah, I'll look over that patch of dialogue, you're totally right, its missing a connection there. Thanks for pointing that out! Haha! I do love food descriptions and cupcakes are scrumptious.
Adding a conversation between the children is a good idea, but I don't know if it would fit in with the way the story ended. The story takes a turn of POV away from the children and to "Santa and Ms Claus". But, it would make sense to probably add that as they were running up the stair? I don't know, but I shall look into it.
Yeah, it was Harry and Ginny :)
Thank you so much! This was really helpful ^_^ Report Review
Hahaha, this is a very cute one-shot! I can so imagine them all doing something like this...
Great job, can't wait to read the next one!Author's Response: Hi Grace!!! thanks! cute is exactly what I was going for :D
I'm excited for you to read the next one too! although I prefer the first one a little...only cause the second one was my first ever fanfic from years ago so its not as well written- I should get on editing that..hmmm. anyways- thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I think this story was great... cute and fluffy and totally aw-worthy. (:
~KhanhAuthor's Response: Haha! cute is exactly what I was going for- and some hopefully very hug-able characters :D
thanks for reviewing !!! Report Review
this is a cute story :)
my favorite quote is:
"Mum says that Santa's allergic to milk," exclaimed Hugo.
"No, Hugo," chided Rose, "Mum says Fanta, our cat, is allergic to milk."Author's Response: Thank you! cute was exactly what I was going for :D
oh! I love that quote too! it makes me want to hug hugo. thanks for reviewing and favoriting! You're awesome ^_^ Report Review
this is just so innocent, cute and amazing. Good job!Author's Response: thank you!!!
you're awesome ^_^ Report Review
Hpotterfan1 here! My favorite part was when you talked about who Santa and Mrs. Claus were. Harry and Ginny! HeHeHeHe! Very funny!Author's Response: hi hpotterfan1! That happens to be one of my favorite parts too! and you knew it was Harry and Ginny!! cause a lot of people were asking who it was ;)
thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you found it funny ^_^ Report Review
AMAZING! Please, please do another like it! One of the best stories ever. :) Peace, from peace2lovepotterAuthor's Response: really?!! thank you so much!!!
I have posted a mission II, although its not as entertaining as mission I.
thanks for leaving a review :D and peace to you too ^_^ Report Review
This just made my day :') xxx
~Annabella~Author's Response: Aw! really?!!! you totally just made my day!!!
thanks annabella! (love your name) Report Review
Am I to presume it was Harry & Ginny?!!
"Baby Eagle"? Hinting a Ravenclaw? :D
Had a really nice time reading Mission 1!!!
M.H.Author's Response: Yes, it was Harry and Ginny!! :)
Haha, you're really reading into the story, the Ravenclaw-baby eagle connection never really occurred to me. I think you must be a ravenclaw at heart ;)
thanks for taking the time to leave a review :D Report Review
hahaha awee that was super cute!! and i really enjoyed itAuthor's Response: Aw! thank you, glad you enjoyed it :D
thanks for taking the time to leave a review! Report Review
Ooh-can't wait to read it! This was so funny. I'm guessing that was Harry and Ginny?
10/10 ~FloraAuthor's Response: yup! it was Harry and Ginny, poor Harry ;)
mission II is already up, and mission III is going to be pure awesomeness! (i hope). It has a lot more Hugo cause he's my fav character to write from the next gen as kids.
thanks for the review flora :D Report Review
That was awesome! :D Lily and Al are so adorable!Author's Response: thank you! I do adore lily and Al, although hugo is my favorite. ^_^
thanks for taking the time to leave a review :) Report Review
Awww, that was so cute! I'm guessing Harry and Ginny were Mr. and Mrs. Claus?
This was an adorable one-shot. I liked the code names and the Lily shouting in an authoritative voice. It was very cute and next-gen Potter-ish. Exactly how I imagined all of the characters to be. :)Author's Response: yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Claus were Harry and Ginny :)
Thank you! and thanks for the awesome review ^^ Report Review
Hahaha! I love it! I love it so much!!!Author's Response: thank you, thank you so much! Report Review
Hello! This is TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, here for the review swap!
Before I begin, I must say that as soon as I clicked over to your page, I remembered you were the one to write the Voldemort-in-exile fic for the duel. I loved that story, and so was excited to review something else for you!
This was such a cute story, I was giggling the whole way through! These actually seem like children, instead of adults in childrens' bodies, and that's such a refreshing and fun thing to read. =] All the dialogue was realistic and cute!
I think the secret agent bit, and the codenames, were so adorable as well. ^^ This was so creative, as well - I could never have written something like this! I like that about all of your stories, they all contain elements I've never looked at before, and that's very cool for me to read. Thank you for giving me a nudge in the direction of your author's page!Author's Response: Hi Jane!
thanks! hehe. glad you found it cute and funny. and WoW, thanks for the compliment on creativity!
thanks for the review :) Report Review
Hahaha! That was hilarious!
I really loved the way you brought the story out; the code names and importance of the mission, reminded me of when I was a kid curious about Santa!
If there is one thing I would improve in this story, it would be the formatting; adding space lines between different scenes instead of long empty spaces. Other than that, it was really entertaining!Author's Response: YAY! glad you like it- and thought it was hilarious!
Thanks for leaving a review! I'll take a look at the formatting :) Report Review
Ohmygosh, this was so cute! And I love the code names! I was in stitches at 'Papa Lion'
You wrote children as actual CHILDREN in this and that is something that is truly difficult I remember when my older sister told me Santa wasn't real and I acted just like James (*was such a brat*). I also love how all the other kids got involved and little Hugo is so cute!
Wonderfully written and a fun, easy read! Great Job!
AnnieAuthor's Response: hehe! thank you! I have really young siblings so it wasn't that hard to write the children. Yeah, it sucks finding out Santa isn't real :(
Hugo is my favorite character in this fic! I'm working on devoting a mission just to him.
Thanks for reviewing!
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection