Woah...
More please?

 Report Review

ha, can't wait till the next chapter is posted im really excited with this story! :)

 Report Review

Nice tension in this chapter. Your writing is much better too. 7/10

 Report Review

It was good, but I noticed you changed tense a couple of times. 6/10

 Report Review

i like it so far!! ron's jealousy in this last movie was great haha :) i love harry and hermione though. please post soon, i'll be checking to see if u added another chapter!! :D

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I finished the chapter but they won't let me upload it:( I think I have to wait until Jan. 5th

 Report Review

I can certainly see Ron doing that. This story might be pretty good with more chapters.

Author's Response: Thankyou! The next chapter isn't posting yet, but it'll be up once things get running.

 Report Review

Very interesting start, I look forward to seeing what else you have planned. Please post again soon.

Author's Response: Thanks! I can't post until Jan. 5th so check for a new chapter around then.

 Report Review

Very good chapter. I can see Ron going evil, can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Glad you agree! Thanks, the next chapter will be up soon:)

 Report Review

I really like the premise of this story, I don't think enough people embrace the fact that ron /is/ the weakest of them- if one of the three had to go the the dark side it would have to be him. So I think it's great that someone's chosen to look at this ^^ it definitely has potential, but there's a couple of stylistic things that might help your story flow better (I'm not sure if you're looking for constructive criticism but hopefully it helps)

You sometimes repeat phrases which sounds a bit awkward: “Soon my Lord, very soon. The prophecy said he will bring us success, great success"- The soon, very soon, and the success, great success, are very similar phrases so it sounds a bit odd.; Same with 'he was found...he was found' It's not a huge problem, I'm sure you just need to reread what you've written a bit more closely.

But anyway, it's looking promising so far and I'll definitely be coming back to read more. Good luck with the rest of the chapters c:

PS Ron hit Hermione :O blimey. That was unexpected.

Author's Response: Thankyou! I appreciate the length of your review along with the contructive criticism. I'm glad you agree with me, I always saw Ron going to the bad side, I kind of wish he did. But I'm working on the next chapter now so it should be up soon:)

 Report Review

I really like how you started it off and i although i loved the original version i think yours is better and please continue soon!

Author's Response: thankyou! chapter 2 should be finished by tonight/early tomorrow..it just depends how long it takes to post! But thankyou for reading:)

 Report Review