Reading Reviews for Displaying your Soul
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Singularity Ginny Potter

21st December 2010:
Hmm, this is an interesting concept, and I'm not really sure where you're going with it, which isn't a bad thing. It's a short chapter, but I think you've captured Ginny's character well. I especially liked the part where she kind of compared herself to her mother. You can tell that Molly was an amazing mother and a brilliant influence on all of her children, but perhaps her daughter most of all.

I noticed a few typos/mistakes:

-In the first sentence it says "right ring ringer" instead of "finger."
- When Ginny first transforms, you say that she knows what she will see when she looks in the mirror, but in the next paragraph, she is 'stunned' by what she sees. It just seemed a little contradictory to me.

Maybe just give it another quick read through and see what you can find.

Nice first chapter. Good luck with continuing the story!

~Singularity

Author's Response: Thanks, I really hoped that would come through to the reader, because I found a new kind of respect for Molly when she defeated Bellatrix, she officially became the coolest fictional mum ever!

I think when I wrote 'stunned' what I meant was that despite knowing what she should have looked like having doing all the meditations and stuff doesn't mean it's going to be exactly as you pictured it, she wasn't expecting red tipped flight feathers for example. As well as that, you never really know what you are going to see when you look in a mirror. You have a memory of what you looked at last time you looked in one, but you may have done your hair or make-up differently and in a way that makes you stop and look at yourself for a moment longer than usual, because you look different. So it's stunned in an 'I almost can't believe I actually did it' kind of way, but thank you, I will take a look and see if I can put it any better in the chapter :D

Thank you again :D
xxx


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