Reading Reviews for Not A Hero
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by mashforever Not A Hero

6th December 2011:
I like it; your tale has an ambiance of darkness that "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" encompasses, which is good for the setting. Good job.

Author's Response: Thank you, that's good to hear :) I'm glad you liked this story!

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Review #2, by xxpetrapan Not A Hero

28th December 2010:
That was a phenomenal one shot, my dear! I loved Hugo, he was amazing. I loved how you made the story take place during the Carrows reign of Hogwarts, I enjoyed reading about what happened during that time. I am glad the little girl did not die but I do wonder why she was pushed in the lake. It was full of emotions and you could feel the pain and suspense of the students, I felt like I was there wondering if I was next and if my friends were next!

AMAZING
10/10
-Kattia

Author's Response: First off, sorry it took me so long to reply!
Thank you, that's great to hear! I'm very glad you liked Hugo and the time the story was set :) I don't think I could've let the little girl die - that would've been awful, for her and for Hugo, too. The Carrows might not really need a reason to push someone in the lake, I think... :S
Oh wow, thanks! That's great to hear too! I'm glad the emotions seemed real :) Thank you!!
Thanks a lot for your review!


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Review #3, by Olwyn Not A Hero

13th December 2010:
Hi there! Requested reviewer, sorry it took me a few days. Crazy weekend.
I really really like this story, and I like the character you showed. I don't think there's enough 1997 at Hogwarts fics, and a lot of them can be really bad. HOWEVER yours was amazing. The character of Hugo is so different from most of the HP characters. Someone who's scared but wants to do the right thing. He is a very believable character, and I'm drawn to his turmoil, etc.
Really. It's really good. I can't think of anything to change!

Author's Response: Hello :) That's alright, of course. Happens to everyone :)
Thank you, that's great to hear! I'm glad you liked him, and the story itself. That's good to know :) I think many stories are about courageous characters who will fight no matter what, but... I doubt everyone in this world is like that, you know? So I'm glad you liked that fact that Hugo is different from most HP characters :)
Thanks, that's great to hear! :D

Thank you for your review!


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Review #4, by maskedmuggle Not A Hero

11th December 2010:
Hey!
Here to review as promised.

First impression is that it's a generally well written story, and you've introduced the character well here, and the story that is told is quite unique.

You wrote this really well, and it gave a great insight into what Hogwarts might have been like in 7th year for those who stayed behind and weren't purebloods - you did an especially good job with this by having Sara in there, "Sara had it easy".

The characterisation of Hugh was great! You got a lot across in so little words. I thought his personality was good, it wasn't cliche, and it wasn't the typical person.

The plot was pretty good. I don't often read stories about that year in Hogwarts, so as I said, I found this interesting as you gave me a different perspective. It's good that you had a sort of 'theme' to the story, that "Hugo Mattingly might not be a hero, but at least he wasn't a murderer either." (Maybe get rid of the word either? It seems unnecessary, and the sentence makes sense on its own). I understand that either is a great word, and it sounds good, but it's actually making the sentence sound a bit funny. I went on a writing camp once, and an author told me to "Kill your darlings." Basically, even if the words are lovely, if they aren't necessary, you should get rid of it!

I love how you kept this story canon, with Luna, the Carrows, Snape, the DA, McGonagall… the torturing sounds much stricter then I thought it would be, but it is still very believable. It's nice that Hugo saw that first year again, and you mentioned it, otherwise it would've been a loose end waiting to be tied up.

Spelling, punctuation and grammar seems all fine to me! If there are any mistakes, I can't see them, so they're not obstructing my reading of your story anyway! Good writing!

- maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)

Author's Response: Hey :) Thanks!

Thank you, that's great to hear! I'm glad you liked it. It's nice to know that the Sara bit was good :)

I'm glad you think so! I hoped he wouldn't come off as cliche; I think there are so many stories about people being brave and fighting and all that, while it's probably impossible to have such a thing in the real world. There are always people who just go along with that's being said, in the hope that they'll be spared. So thanks!

That's good to hear too :) I have to admit, neither do I, so it was interesting to write :)
You're actually the second person to mention that (and with two reviews, that's much :P), so I suppose I will have a good look at the word either when I edit this. To me, the sentence sounds odder when either is not in it, but as a non-native speaker of English, what do I know? ;)

I'm glad you liked that :) Hugo is practically an OC, but it's weird (for me, that is) to write a story without any familiar characters, so it's good to know you liked that as well :) It's very likely that the torturing wasn't as harsh as described here (I hope so for them), but I'm glad it still sounds believable :) I think it would simply be too cruel to let the first year drown, or let Hugo live with the idea of her being dead. He's just a kid, after all.

That's great to hear :) Thank you!!

Thanks a lot for your review!


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Review #5, by angeless7fallenstarsong Not A Hero

10th December 2010:
Hey, it's Ange from the forums. Thanks so much for your submission! :) I'm going to review this as I read it...

Right off the bat, I'm going to suggest that you italicize the first paragraph so that the reader understands that this is what Hugo is thinking.

In the second paragraph, you used the expression "dropping wet." I'm not entirely sure what that means...

"...he knew very well that some names weren't listed..." I loved this sentence. It gets behind a Hogwarts student's understanding of the war/Ministry infiltration. Very nice.

"Luna Lovegood was not the sort of person his mother would want him to be seen with." GREAT sentence. It gets right to the point. I love those short, meaningful, one-sentence paragraphs.

Whoa, there, paragraph fourteen... O.O "Missing several limbs" might be a bit much.

"...that filthy Muggle he, Hugo, had to call his father..." Wow, this is powerful. It would be cool if you backed up that sentence a bit more. *Is* Hugo ashamed of his father?

I'm loving the paragraph that begins with "It was the stragegy of..." :)

The last two paragraphs are also brilliant. Poor Hugo :/ You've got a bit of tense confusion in your last sentence. If I may, I'd suggest you tweak it to something like: "Hugo Mattingley might not *have been* a hero, but at least he wasn't a murderer." (The "either" seems sort of redundant.)

Okay, wow. Sorry about the obnoxiously long review. ^^; Thanks so much for entering and submitting to my challenge, your entry was absolutely phenomenal! Winners will be announced up to a week after the deadline.

Ta ta!

Author's Response: Hey! :) Thank you for the great challenge ;) And that's cool (I always do that myself :P).

It's not italicised? Wow, that's bad. It is in my Word doc, and I always check the entire thing for stuff like this. Quite odd that I didn't notice this. So I'll change that when I edit this, thanks for pointing it out.

Dropping wet... it's a combination of dripping wet and sopping wet? :P I guess I accidentally mixed up those two. Will fix it :)

I'm glad you like those sentences :) That's always good to hear. And yes, I know the missing some limbs part is a bit drastic, but it's just what he heard. It's not necessarily true. In my head, he's only twelve or thirteen and while he knows about some stuff (like the listing of names in the Prophet), he might not know everything about the war. He knows what the Carrows' and Filch's torturing is like, so it probably wouldn't surprise him if there were actually students with missing limbs.

I'm not so sure if it matters a lot whether or not Hugo is ashamed of his father. It wouldn't change anything for him, as they'd still pick on him.

It's good to hear you like the last two paragraphs, thanks :) I suppose you do have a point with that, but to me, that almost makes it sound like he is a hero now, which he's not.

Haha, that's alright :) I like responding to reviews, no matter how long they are. Thanks again for coming up with the challenge in the first place :) I'm glad you liked the story!

Thanks a lot for your review!


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