This is a great one shot which I very much enjoyed reading, although it is not the genre which I normally go for.
I can't believe this is your first fanfiction! You wrote this like you have had many years of experience here at HPFF! OUSTANDING!
First off, I liked your interesting characterisation of Hermione! I would never have imagined her to be the one to lose all sense and become drunk etc. etc. However you wrote this new side to her very well and even prevented the reader from having any doubts by creating a valid reason; her never being able to get over Ron and Lavender. Great Job!
I also love your description, especially of the castle and the room of requirement. You really painted a picture in my mind! Also, Hermione's drunken thoughts that were scattered throughout the one-shot were a great addition and help to tell the reader exactly what she is thinking; this is a great technique to use :)
A word of encouragement: Keep up your writing! You have done a brilliant job with this story and you have a unique style in the way you write! Can't wait to read more of your work!
-Your Secret Santa- Report Review
Ohhh this is a great story. I hope you continue it. Keep writing. Report Review
this was a well-written and quite interesting story and i thought you did a wonderful job with it. the ending, although abrupt, was the perfect way to end with the rest of the story and i enjoyed reading this very much. your descriptions and the overall flow of this one-shot was stupendous. great job on this. keep up the excellent writing!!Author's Response: Thank you for your review :)
I can't believe people are still reading this story, it's been posted ages!!
I'm glad you liked the story, that's the problem with one-shots, they have to end. So sometimes they seem a little abrupt so I'm glad it did not put you off!
I must say I am loving the word stupendous, thank you! Report Review
I love it! I seriously sat for like ten minutes, while reading it, smiling and almost felt drawn towards Draco as if he excisted...
You did a great job! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks!!
I wanted to try and make the characters seem realistic so your review makes me happy!! Report Review
That was pretty darn steamy! =P
Kind of echoing what everyone else says here; the fire whiskey was an excellent tool to get Hermione sufficiently out of character in order to kick-start the plot; but then she retains enough doubt about the whole affair to make it believable. And all the while, the reader's thinking to themselves, "yeah, she totes wants this ;D"
But yus, awesome stuff. It certainly does its job well!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing Tim :)
I know, I didn't mean for it to get as steamy as it did!
I'm glad you think the whole fire-whisky idea worked. Report Review
i love the last line ;)Author's Response: Thanks :)
I am also quite a fan of the last line ;) Report Review
Love it! Read it before and now once again...just love everything about it.Author's Response: Thank you!
So happy that you came back to read it again :) Report Review
wow. an amazing one!! totally awesome! i love dramiones especially with steamy scenes in them :D
great job!! cheers!Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
Wow... um.. yeah...
so that was pretty much amazing.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
Aw, I really, really liked it!
It was a very powerful one shot.
I really enjoyed it!
-Siriuslover177Author's Response: Thank you for your review.
Powerful, wow it hasn't been called that before :) Report Review
Whew... oh my goodness. LOVED IT!
Favorite line... "As if they were silently daring each other to make the next move."
Ooh... I could totally see that!
This was really wonderful. I loved the description of their feelings and their senses.
I loved it that she asked him if he ever 'really, really' felt that way. Dramione Awesomeness!
Blame it on the Fire Whiskey!
Thanks so much for this!
Dark WhisperAuthor's Response: Wooop for Dramione awesomeness!
Thanks for your lovely review it means a lot.
I really wanted Hermione to appear domineering in this fic and when I thought of that line I could just imagine Draco feeling a little shock :)
Again thank you for reviewing! Report Review
I am not a Dramoine fan, but wow...this is fantastic!
Wonderful :DAuthor's Response: You know what? That little review has just made my day!! You don't like Dramione but you liked my story? Best compliment ever!!
Thank you so much :) Report Review
Wow, really steamy make out scene! fantastic. :DAuthor's Response: Thanks :)
Can't wait for the results of the challenge!! Report Review
Oh, my gosh. This story is the first I've read that actually kind of makes me wish Draco and Hermione had gotten together. That means you did a great job.Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you for reviewing! :D
It makes me so happy to read that! Report Review
Draco's drunk self is written perfectly!! I can picture it in my head :)
However, I'm not sure if Hermione would lose full control of herself, as uptight as she is. I did like how her thoughts acklowledged this, so she
wasn't completely out of character.
-expelliarmus_obliviateAuthor's Response: I'm glad you liked drunk Draco, I loved writing him!
And as I've probably said before it was kind of hard to write Hermione in character within this plot, hence the fire whiskey. So I'm glad you thought I kind of acknowledged this.
Thank you for reviewing!
firefly Report Review
Wow. This was really, really good. I have the biggest guilty pleasure for Dramione. Once it got into the flow of things, I was worried it would become tacky, as scenes like this often do, but it didn't. I enjoyed the depth of description involving her feelings for Ron, and her life. If it were my decision, I would turn this into a story in a heart-beat. This story used cliches in all the right ways. Sometimes they're overly used, but I've never seen such a spin on the plot quite as this, and it did wonders for your final product. The potential is most definitely there. Thank you so much for asking for a review of this, and gifting me with the pleasure of reading it! Well done.Author's Response: Wow, thank you for that wonderful review :)
I'm so glad you didn't think it was tacky, that's the last thing I wanted to happen.
I'm so happy that you liked the way I did the cliches, there was no point in trying to avoid them, with Dramione they are always going to be there.
And the fact that you haven't seen this take on them is so flattering, I wanted it to appear a unique take on Dramione.
As for turning it into a story, quite a few people have said that. I don't really know how I would carry it on, I might ask you on the forums!!
Thank you again for reviewing!! Report Review
Are there gonna be more chapters ? :D
P-p-p-p-p-please ?? ^^
Nina xAuthor's Response: There's not gonna be any more chapters on this one sorry!
I am gonna be writing a Dramione novel pretty soon though so you should check that out when its up :)
Thanks for reviewing, sounds like you liked it :D Report Review
Hi, here with your requested review :)
I always feel Dramione's are just too OOC (hence why I said I'm usually harsher on them!) but the fact you actually mentioned this in Hermione's thinking made me relax a little. The drinking itself would be a little OOC for Hermione as well, but again you explained this so that it seemed completely plausible. I commend you for that.
The intimate scenes were written really well; they were sultry, sexy and yet tasteful. I don't know if Draco would be quite that well informed in this area but it made for enjoyable reading! haha.
As for the technical side of things -- all spelling and grammar seemed fine, I noticed a few mistakes but they were certainly not enough to distract from the actual plot. And the flow and pace set the mood for the story perfectly actually.
:)Author's Response: Thank You for reviewing :)
It's so hard to write a Dramione without them being OOC, that's why I tried to justify the things that they did that were OOC. I'm glad that you think they seemed plausible as that was what I was searching for.
I know what you mean about Draco, could he really be that seductive? Haha, as you can tell I always like to think so.
I'm thinking of getting a beta for my future stories so those little mistakes shouldn't occur again. I'm glad that they didn't distract you though :) Report Review
Ugh you left me hanging! I want more! Haha I liked the story, I'm a big fan of Dracos darker side and the game of "hide and seek" was..cute? It sounds like the wrong word to describe it but oh well :) thank you for writing this, I quite enjoyed it :)Author's Response: Thank You for reviewing :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I am also a big fan of Draco's darker side, I tried to make him appear mischievous in this story, I always imagine him to have that quality.
This was a nice take on Dramione. Obviously, the characters are OOC, but since it's an AU ship, they have to be :)
It does contain cliches, but you've made it into something more unique.
FleurAuthor's Response: Thank you for making it too number 20 :)
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for saying I made it something more unique, I really appreciate that. It's hard to avoid cliches and OOC with Dramione so I'm glad it didn't seem to ridiculous to you.
Callie Report Review
I love the way you describe drunk Hermione. I've been that drunk when you dance and you dont care that people are watching. I did that and a whole living room of people were there, they ended up clapping me =pAuthor's Response: Haha I admit I have also been that drunk! Although I don't think anybody clapped for me, I may have actually fell over :/
Thank You for reviewing, I'm glad that I got the description of being that drunk right :) Report Review
wow i liked it! you did a great job describing the place and the situation. and the whole game between draco and hermione was perfect because they are both really competitive and neither wanting to back down and be the loser. i thought it would have been funny in the end if one of them would have fallen asleep on the other while they were kissing or something but it was just perfect the way you ended it as well. although since i have never had alcohol im not sure if hermione would think about how she isnt acting like herself.. maybe people really do think that they normally wouldnt do something if they didnt have the alcohol in their system.
anywho like i said you did a great job. i liked the description and the whole "game" you had between draco and hermione.
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)
I'm glad you liked it! Yeah that's exactly why I chose to create a little game between them because it wouldn't have worked if they just started doing all that as though they were in love with each other. With them both being really stubborn it made it easy for me to write about them not backing down.
Haha yes one of them falling asleep would be seriously funny!
About the alcohol thing. . . Hermione drank a large amount of firewhiskey, probably more than enough to get her drunk. In my head the reason she even considered following the mysterious sound in the first place is becasue she was already past the point of thinking about what she was doing clearly. Then she went and consumed even more alcohol so I decided that her conscience would have pretty much disappeard by that point. Plus if she'd have though about anything other than the game she probably would have just broke down about Ron and I didn't want that! Haha Report Review
Wow! If I was wearing socks, they would for sure be knocked off right about now. I'm a sucker for a good romantic story. And boy, did you deliver!
I love seeing this different side of Hermione, rather than the bossy goody-two-shoes we all know (and, admittedly, love). And the way you describe her emotions and her kiss with Draco was so detailed I found myself just a wee bit short of breath, too!
My only concern is that in a few places some commas are left out - minor little punctuation errors, things like that. But that kind of thing just pops out at me, it's not all that noticeable.
You should keep on writing, you have a gift!Author's Response: Ahh glad you liked it, that would be the general effect I wanted the story to have. It wasn't meant to get that steamy at first but I kinda got carried away *looks sheepish*
Yeah punctuation has never been a friend of mine (pretty bad considering I'm both an english and creative writing student) Plus I was so excited that I had a story to post on here proof reading wasn't a high priority.
Well thank you for your kind words, I shall continue with my gift :D Report Review
Hello! First of all let me just say how much I appreciate that your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are all fine. I know that sounds weird, but to be honest, there is nothing so distracting from a story than to be seeing mistakes all over the place. And you would not believe how common it is.
Second of all, I like the atmosphere you've set up in this story. Anyone who has been to a party with a cute boy knows what this feels like- the uncertainty, the wondering what will happen, the silly games. It's quite well written here, and the dialogue suits that scenario.
The only critique I have, and I mean this in the friendliest way, is that I feel like as a one-shot, parts of the characterization was a little surprising. I think you could have taken a little more time to explore it. We know Hermione acts out of character because she has been drinking, but I was still missing a little bit of that conflict, that oh-no-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this thinking. That being said, the pacing and the flow of the story was really coherent and clear.
All in all, nicely done :]Author's Response: Thank You Ciara I'm glad you decided to read it!
I was a little worried about the characterization and how it would come across actually. If I'd of had more time when I wrote this I might have made it a short story so that I could have had Hermione's conscience play a part. I did try to bring that in but I couldn't get it right, it broke the flow of the story.
Phew I'm glad about the grammar bit, I can be a bit slack with proof reading sometimes.
Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Oh. My. God.
This is the best thing I have ever read.
Give me more.Author's Response: Awww thank you :)
There will be more I promise you, I have loads of ideas floating round just need to get them down on paper. Report Review
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