I love this. You capture the atmosphere-aftermath of the battle very well. I think bringing Dolohov into it was a great finish - it shows how well, loyal, they were ad how lost they feel/felt. I think that him killing himself is a great dramatic finish to this one-shot. It really is beautifully written.
I have one question; how did you think of this? Particually the end.
Before I end this review, I would like to ask you to check out my one-shot I have up. It's the only thing I uploaded and a lot of work was put into it. I hope you find time to take a peek at Draco's mind - this is what it's about - Draco and his thoughts during his breakdown in his sixth year. (in the bathroom.)
Maybe you could read and review. It would mean the world to me if you read my piece of work.
Again, this one-shot is amazing, you capture the feeling best of all the aftermath-of-the-battle best of all the one-shots I have read that are similiar. Great work!
~mirrorofdesire ♥Author's Response: Thank you very much! This means a lot to me, especially since I haven't gotten a review for this in quite a while. :)
Sure, I'll check yours out in a second. Report Review
hehehe i just came back and reread this. DUDE ITS AHMAZING :DD especially the part about dolohov. you had really good word choice, etc. etc. :)
but i think you should have used past tense, present tense just sounds kinda awkward at times... : don't worry i sometimes do that too XD
but still. it's FANTASTIC :) wish i could write like you...Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! :)
Haha, it was for a vocabulary paragraph for humanities...and I just revised it and added a whole ton of stuff to put it here.
I agree, I don't really know why I write in present tense for everything...I blame literary analysis essays, haha. :)
Thanks so much! :) Report Review
That was heart-rending. I'd never actually thought of the few moments after V's death and how the rest of those fighting reacted to the sudden freedom they experienced.
Though I have to say, killing Dolohov ruins my own story :)
Well written.Author's Response: Thank you so much - I just wanted to touch on it because it's sort of a forgotten period of time that's usually overlooked. :)
:) Again, thanks! Report Review
Wow, this is an amazing piece of writing. It captured the emotions of the scene really well and also displayed the choas. For such a short piece, you managed to convey a lot about that moment in time and I commend you for it.
I loved your descriptions and use of metaphors through out the piece. The story flowed really well and encompassed so much of what was happening. There was an air of distance about the story, like it was projected from a silent observer who was completely overcome with emotion, which is exactly what many of the characters would have been feeling.
I noticed a few spelling errors but other than those, it was a really beautiful piece and I'm so happy I read it.Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! :)
Oh, I'll be sure to check those out - thanks for telling me! :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) Report Review
This was a powerful and wonderful look at the moments immediately following Voldemort's defeat. I absolutely loved it :) It was really impressive how you managed to pack so much emotion into such a short piece. Excellent! I love the snapshot of time style that you used here.
Your word choice was well done and the grammar seemed good, too - nothing immediately jumped out at me. The emotions were displayed very well - you could really feel them.
I loved having the pieces about Molly and the Weasleys and Andromeda. (Tonks! Remus! Fred! D:) And adding in the bit with Dolohov at the end - chilling. I did wonder what happened to the Death Eaters - not a stretch of the imagination to see that some would be so distraught that they would kill themselves, unable to live.
A powerful ending and a great one-shot - great word!Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :) Report Review
you are such a wonderful writer!
I love reading your stories~
they are so interesting and fresh!
keep it up =DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW haha just kidding :) this is amazing though...enough said!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad your computer is alive. :) Report Review
AH MAZING this is epicAuthor's Response: Thank you so much!! :) Report Review
The best Harry Potter Fan Fiction chapter I've ever read everAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
love th dolohov suicide thing. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much!! :) You flatter me :). Report Review
Wow this was an AMAZING story! Loved the part about Dolohov :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
Wow! There are just so many emotions in this story that I could see how a writer write it to be 'cliche' but the way that you wrote and portrayed the dilemna that Harry faces as he realizes how many people have suffered in the battle that he has led was beautiful, sorrowful, and at the same time, fitting. Great work and btw the last sentence was just...perfect.Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! These are such quality compliments - I love your reviews! :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! :) Report Review
Dude this story is really awsome. i'm very proud of you mate!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Happy New Year! :D Report Review
making Dolohov commit suicide was a really nice touch there... :)Author's Response: Thank you :) I quite liked it myself. Report Review
woah.. the feeling is so strong! i love this story, man. you should be an author when u get older. no joke.Author's Response: Wow, thank you! That would be fun...if I could find something to write about that's as awesome as Harry Potter :) haha. Report Review
I spy some humanities vocab words! (:Author's Response: Yes, yes, my inspiration. :) Report Review
Just read this, :D
You've been so sweet in all your reviews, I wanted to repay the favor.
This was really, really excellent. I love how absolute the sadness is. There really is no other word for it; it's just so sad. And you've written that exceptionally. I feel like I can almost feel the emptiness and hollowness that everyone must be feeling, especially the Weasley's.
I totally adored the parts you put about Ginny, Molly, and George in there, too. You've got them spot-on, and you just poured yourself into them, which is wonderful.
Lovely!Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much - it means a lot! :) It was kind of how I would feel in the whole situation, if that makes sense... I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
i reeeally like that last part! that was really good. but wait, why is this chapter doing here? like did you just write the intro of your story just now?? me confuzzled >< :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! I wasn't so sure about this one so it's nice to have some likes :). This one-shot and "The World Before Us" have nothing to do with each other. I just wrote a humanities essay on this (before I joined HPFF) and I decided to fix it up and put it on here. Glad you liked it! :) Report Review
Amazing writing style, but i don't get when this is taking place...
Oh well, I still love it Dorothyji :)Author's Response: It's a couple minutes after Voldemort dies (don't worry, the taboo's gone) and people are rejoicing...but I'm focusing on the grief of it all. Thanks so much! :) Report Review
Great story! Not where I was expecting it to goAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! :) Hopefully it was a pleasant surprise. :) Report Review
the writing is REALLY... eloquent? ya... luv ur style!Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Report Review
FINALLY ITS UP ;) its very good in a depressing sort of way.
I LOVE YOU
JamesAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! This means a lot to me :).
I was kind of nervous when I posted this because angst doesn't go well with a lot of people, but I gave it a shot. Hopefully not too bad though?
Love, Al :) Report Review
OMG THIS IS SO FREAKING GOD I LOVE IT! this is amazing padfoot u needa keep writing cuz WOAH! :D:D:D:D:D:D:DAuthor's Response: Wow, thanks so much! Reviews like this really make my day!! Yes, I'll for sure keep writing, if not just for the reviews! ;) Report Review
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