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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Secrets; Lies.

15th December 2011:
OH WOW! I don't even know what to say, the banner drew me into the story and it has taken me quite a number of days to finally read the chapter. I'm so glad I did! It was INTERESTING! I really enjoyed it and it's always hard for me to get into these sort of mystery fics. I already like Felicity, she's quite nosy and i can see her getting into a lot of trouble in the future. Bring on the trouble!!

Author's Response: Well, hi there! xD This was the most AWESOME surprise to come home to after an awful exam. :)

The banner. can I just say that I absolutely adore it? I was creeping the UFG section at tda last week and I saw it and I need I just /had/ to have it. It was perfect. Because it's just kinda...eery and not typical (at least I thought so) when compared to other banners. So.. yeah. HAD to snatch it up right away, even though I hadn't done much with this story in a while. And it inspired me to write, actually, so I love it all the more. xD

I'm glad that you came to read the chapter even though mystery's hard for you to get into. SO glad. Because this has made me terribly happy and it makes me even more keen to get the next chapter up. (Because I've been inspired and have started writing it again. YAY! :D)

Felicity is... well, I don't know how to describe her. She is many things, and nosy is definitely one of them! xD As is trouble hahahaha.

Thanks again for reading and for leaving me such a nice review! It made my day. :)

-Taylor ♥


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Review #2, by Akussa Secrets; Lies.

9th August 2011:
Hi!

Ohhh the suspence is strong in that chapter! I'm really intrigued about probably half a dozen things right now; great work!!! You've managed to come up with a wed of intrigues and plant them in a very good manner.

The character of Felicity is very intriguing as well. I'm not sure how I feel about her so far. I mean, on the one hand she is known for being able to keep secrets and on the other hand, she attacks the guy with accusations that kind of show she isn't able to keep all of the information for herself... Or was that an elaborate plan to make the guy worried or slip? I'm not sure, I'm intrigued :D

I like the pace of this chapter and how you went from a very smooth mystery to a full on spying and then the attck. There is a very nice graduation in the action and in the rythm of the chapter and that is a very positive things and gives us a great idea of what to expect.

I noticed one little thing through my read; one sentence that wasn't quite as brilliantly written as the rest :

"The reason for Feeís early start was far too intriguing to ignore for her to ignore."; there is an obvious repetition in here!

Overall, a great and very strong opening chapter, I hope you will get to write the rest because you seem to have a good idea on your hands for a novel!

Akussa (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Okay, so it's entirely shameful how long it's taken for me to respond to your lovely review. D: My apologies!

I'm pleased with your feelings towards Felicity. That was actually what I was hoping for. She's supposed to be a bit of a 'wild card', especially in the beginning.

As of now, this story is kind of in a stand still. Unfortunately. :/ I've got the main idea down, but it's the details that are bogging me down when it comes to writing. So until I get my act together, the story is on hold. :(

Anddd thank you for pointing that out! (: I'll need to edit that. I should have proof read before posting this, apparently. XD

thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot!! :))

-taylor


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Review #3, by spangles Secrets; Lies.

15th December 2010:
Whoa! I'm all ready dying to figure out what happend next. Felicity seems like a very interesting person, and I really want to find out what that whole exchange was about! I assume she was in her house when she found her brother and this man talking. Now she's going to be helping the Minister's daughter when she knows who killed her dad...oh this is going to be interesting. And who is Sam? AHHH civy you have to update!

Author's Response: Sorry for taking so long to respond; I forgot to check. xD

Her brother?? Patrick's not her brother, he's a coworker/mentor type person thing. xD Though if you had asked Fee several years earlier, she might have said that.

*grins* Heehee. You'll find out more about Sam soon-ish. Sort of... We'll see. ^_^ Haha. Would it be bad to tell you that I have no idea what order I'm going in still?

-squishes- Thanks sooo much for reviewing, Molly! I appreciate it so much. Especially cos it gives me incentive & inspiration to write the next chapter. :)

Taylor ♥


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Review #4, by nextgenoration Secrets; Lies.

13th December 2010:
Hey Taylor! Awesome job! I really loved it. I like Fee. The name's really cool!

Few things:

"The reason for Feeís early start was far too intriguing to ignore for her to ignore.

"They were so knotted and intertwined that itís hard to tell the difference between them anymore." WRONG TENSE!!! :D Instead of it's it would be it was. :)

Healer is caps! ;)

⎯the signature that changed everything⎯ -- I saw those scattered about, the lil boxes...were they supposed to be em dashes? Maybe it was just my laptop!

I LOVED it!!! Shall be favin'



Author's Response: ASH!

Hi.

Yes. Grrr. Stupid tenses. I've been informed about my tenses lol. I actually wrote it in past-tense and tried to rewrite in present and then decided I didn't like it and rewrote it again in past-tense. I've always had that issue though... *sigh* XD

Gack! Thank-you for pointing that out. :) I'll have to fix that when I do a re-read/write.

They appear as dashes on my computer?? I don't know. O.O Uh-oh. Hopefully it's not like that for everyone...

Thank you so much for the review darlin', it means a lot!! *glomps*



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Review #5, by xtinjsc Secrets; Lies.

6th December 2010:
*jumps in*

Shirley! *cough* I mean...

TAYLOR! :P

Heehee. I am finally here. Woot! ^_^

First of all, thank you for for writing this and I love you for writing your OC as a Healer. Seriously. I've been looking for some Healer-centric stories for a while and you really have great timing. lol It's all very clever as well, making her a Maternity Healer. If you think about it, in the lay-out of St. Mungo's provided in Order of the Phoenix, a maternity ward wasn't really mentioned, right? But, surely, witches needed that kind of medical attention, too? I mean, magical babies can't just just go Ola! I am here, mother, ready to conquer the world!... right? :P Good call. And I adore the name of your OC! Felicity Wells. It's very appealing and catchy and happy. Haha.

And I quite Felicity, too. She's very relatable and I like that she is feisty and strong and a bit of a snoop. Hahaha. You made her rather complex and conflicted at this point and I can't help but feel interested about her character. In fact, I can't help but be curious about this story. There's just so many secrets to figure out! Gah. And you know, I am one of those people who always want to know things and find stuff. That's why I'm a Puff. :P Anyway, if there's really one word that can sum this chapter up, it would be intriguing and that is exactly what you want your readers to feel after reading your introductory chapter, right? You nailed it, Taylor, and you've done a very good job. Now hurry up and finish that second chapter. :P

You write tension really well. *is jealous* I almost feel scared for Felicity when she confronted Fitzsimmons (I loled when I read the name, btw, and I'm not exactly sure why :P) especially that part when she told him that she didn't tell anyone of her, er, findings yet. Gosh. What a silly thing to say! Ack! What if Fitzie was really a dangerous madman, then she'd probably be dead by chapter two. lol But see, I don't think he is, though, so that's lucky. He's just a pawn in all of this. A pawn with a very funny last name. Hahaha. Anywho, yeah. I am shaking for Fee at this point. :P She seemed trapped in all the complicated web of lies that you created, Taylor, and the poor girl is pregnant as well, so I hope you can live with that. :P

That consult with the Minister's daughter and the Minister's death itself and the mysterious Sam person were all very puzzling. Gah! I can't wait to know! *chuckles* But see, I have this impression that they are all connected and Fee actually do know all about all of them. You seem to have foreshadowed something with this line:

As if this conversation was a memory forgotten long ago.

Or is it just me over-thinking things? lol I am notorious for doing that, but that's my theory. Something, somewhere in Fee's past, there's the answer. You don't have to clarify anything. This is just me rambling, really. Hahaha.

Oooh. Some nit picky things, though. I noticed that the formatting was a little off in some places, but I guess that just proves the fact that HTML can really possibly be the death of both of us. lol No worries. It's not a big deal anyway, but I just thought I'd point it out, so you can fix it... someday. :P And there were some shifting tenses in some areas as well. And this line: The reason for Feeís early start was far too intriguing to ignore for her to ignore. ---> seems like an editing oversight. lol
/end of the annoying, pretending-to-be-helpful part :P


I LOVE your writing style. Your descriptions are very vivid and beautiful and engaging, it's almost ridiculous. Bahaha! Like this line:

This room was her destroyer.

*takes deep breath*

The first time I read that, I was like, 'Gosh! Where does she get all this?' lol Intense, dude. ^_^

It's what like farmgirl said (and I will paraphrase here, because my memory is not that good, I'm afraid :P), you know the power of written words and you really know how to use and wield them together to create an exquisite description - that's just pure talent and now I'm wondering why you don't consider yourself a writer. You're very good at writing, so please please please keep doing it? *puppy dog eyes*

So, that's it for me, I guess. Over all, I love this story. It's very promising and you really gave me a lot of things to look forward to, my dear. You are awesome. I truly enjoyed reading this, as you can probably tell, so thank you. I'll see you around, Teelorr! *tackles* ^_^

Author's Response: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

I actually love that quote so much. xD I grin whenever I read/hear it.

Why are you thanking me, silly girl? I should be thanking you, which I will do now and several times later, I'm sure.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I'm not sure how much will revolve around healer-ness (as I am not a planner at all... *whistles*) but a fair bit does take place (or *should*) at St. Mungo's. There's a lot going on there, if you get what I mean. *wink wink* You know, I've always wondered about that as well. It's never mentioned anywhere and I often see people expressing the opinions that there isn't some sort of maternity ward or even a room. I honestly doubt that ALL births would go well enough that every woman would do it at home (and let me say this, there is no way I'd ever give birth at home - even if I did have magical powers :P). I'm glad that you like her name! I've gone through so many last names, it's not even funny. I think. five? Which I guess isn't *that* many, but still. It was enough to drive me nuts. First name was a bit easier because I stole it from A Great and Terrible Beauty. xD

(And I totally laughed at "Ola..." Thank you for that!! ^_^ Heehee.)

Felicity... well, I'm just going to up and say it: I love her. Is it wrong to be totally pleased with your own character? I feel a bit... weird saying it, but it's true. I adore her (or at least the person she is in my head). xD She's truly the one thing about this story that I'm completely happy about.

*cackles* I'm glad that you're interested. So glad. This chapter has so many questions and no answers, so it's good that you *want* to know more. I'm like that too, actually, so you have my sympathy. XD Waiting and not knowing things suck! Agreed. I really need to get moving on that chapter but, if it counts for anything, I have written some for the third chapter. :P

Haha, don't be jealous. :P But a total *yay* for the almost scared. xD I think my heart races a bit every time I read it (and as I wrote it) just because... it's like omgwhatareyoudoing?!?! [For me at least lol]. It amuses me greatly that you find the name funny. I have no idea where it came from. At all. Completely random. But I think it fits him to be honest, though I can't entirely explain why. XD I won't offer comment on what you've said (spoiler fre! hehe) but I do actually feel guilty about making her pregnant, but a scene from a later chapter popped into my head and I just had to write it in.

Sam will appear in the next chapter. :) But the other two... that'll have to wait for a bit! :D

You might be over-thinking, but you might not be! *laughs*

And omg, I was going to KILL the formatting. It was driving me insane. I'll have to take a lookie after this, just to see what's going on. ^_^ And dude, I'm glad you pointed out the tenses things. I have had that problem since the beginning of time, I swear. All through out high school english classes:

Watch your tenses!

You switched tenses here, here, and here!

*sigh* It will be the death of me. xD I'll have to go through it and see if I can actually *find* the tense changes (or get a beta who can yell at me each time I do it lol). omg *dies* I can't believe I missed that. Damn. I hate stupid little mistakes and I so should have caught that. Grr. I'll probably read through it sometime this week and re-send it down the queue. Because I don't have an 'update' for it anyway. xD (And it's not annoying and it is most definitely helpful) :)

I've got about 2 more paragraphs of a response for you, so I'll send it in a pm. xD

Thanks again, Tinsa, for reading and taking the time to write this fabulous review. *squishtacklebearhugglomp*



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Review #6, by hellouniverse100 Secrets; Lies.

6th December 2010:
Loved the story. can't wait till the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! :D

I'm glad that you liked it! The next chapter is being worked on.

Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it. :)

Taylor ♥


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