Reading Reviews for Forgotten Dreams
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by massieblockrox Just Listen

14th January 2011:
She met the Trio! I liked how she didn't instantly hit it off with them, as so many fanfictions do.

The train ride, trolley, and the settings were very well described.

Please post the next chapter soon!

Author's Response: Yeah, I didn't want to make Maria and the Trio instantly friends, because I don't think that that's how friendships work in real life.

Haha, I'm working on the next one soon. Thank you!


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Review #2, by massieblockrox Reality is Stranger then Fiction

14th January 2011:
I liked how you threw in Malfoy and Luna.

Again, Maria's predicament is a lot like Harry's. I like it!

Keep writing, because you're excellent at it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I love writing Luna. She's so weird, but kind of in her own special way.


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Review #3, by massieblockrox It's a bit of a shock...

14th January 2011:
That was great, and I'll tell you why.

The way Mrs. Hartwell was portrayed seemed much like Aunt Petunia that it made you feel sympathy for Maria much like you'd feel for Harry.

The scene with Ollivander and the trying out wands was very realistic -- great job with that!

You had me captivated from the first sentence. Keep writing, because this story looks very promising!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! It's my first story, but I'm glad people like to read it!

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Review #4, by TheBlindDragon Reality is Stranger then Fiction

4th January 2011:
Hey again! I have basically the same comments for this chapter as the previous one. I would love the story to have more detail! Right now I feel like all your sentences are action-oriented, leaving no time to establish a firmer foundation.
And Maria's story obviously seems to parallel Harry's, but I presume this is intentional.
Great job so far for this being your first story :) Good luck on your next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm going to try to "branch off" from Harry's story later in the story, so that it doesn't get too similar. Thanks again!

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Review #5, by TheBlindDragon It's a bit of a shock...

4th January 2011:
Hi! I like your story so far :) I'm interested to see how the plot unravels--it's a blank slate so far (perfect, though, for a first chapter).
I thought your introductory paragraphs were written well, especially since a lot of people have trouble with them. My complaints are mainly with the flow of the story. It's a bit choppy and I feel like you could use more description--of the scenery, her emotions, etc.

And now I'm moving on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the critique! I'll keep that in mind next time I write a chapter. It's my first story, and that you for the help. :)

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