Reading Reviews for S.S. Memoirs: Parselmouth
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by magnolia_magic Chapter 2

17th July 2013:
Joffrey! We have a name! Haha I've been wondering about that kid, and I'm still so curious to see what kind of role he'll play in chapters to come. Meanwhile, I love that you included the story of the Wizard Uprising. It really sets up a context for Salazar's life and the way wizards and Muggles relate to each other.

I really like Salazar's father. He seems like a very good parent, and a responsible role model for Salazar and his siblings to look up to. I do have this sense of foreboding, though, for the future. I hope everything is okay for the Slytherin family, but I feel sure that something bad's going to happen to them. I can't wait to find out! I hope you get a chance to update soon, because I'm hooked on this story! Great job, Becca!

--Maggie

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Review #2, by magnolia_magic Chapter 1

17th July 2013:
Hi again, Becca! I loved this introduction to Salazar's life. I've never really seen many fics that deal with his early childhood, and I love your take on it. The scene with Alfred was really cute :) I like that you're keeping a very realistic feel to this; I feel like I really am in a medieval village, and I know that's a hard feat to pull off. Great job with making it feel genuine!

It looks like the problems between wizards and Muggles are starting to affect Salazar. His rage and pride seem to fit with the image we have of the adult Salazar, and I'm glad you included his tendencies toward that sort of behavior. It really makes him feel like the Salazar we've heard of, while still introducing us to a "new" character. Great job!

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Review #3, by magnolia_magic Introduction

17th July 2013:
Hi Becca! I remember hearing about this during Keckers season and I thought I'd check it out :)

What an ominous beginning! I'm dying to know who that blonde Slytherin is. And what could he have taken from the room that had such consequences? They mystery surrounding that is great--I love a good mystery, and I think it's a wonderful way to draw readers in. And Salazar is such a fascinating character; I can't wait to read more of his memoir! I love seeing different takes on what split him from the other founders...maybe this story will include that? I'll read on to find out. After this chapter, I can't wait! Great work!

--Maggie

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Review #4, by SereneChaos Chapter 3

7th August 2012:
What an interesting story! I think you're off to a great start, and I like the way you've put the Slytherin student in the background for reading Salazar's story. I'd be curious to see if you manage to tie Joffrey's story with this one, as in, will Joffrey's character change from having read this?

I'll look forward to seeing where you go with it!

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Review #5, by Maybe Chapter 1

18th July 2012:
I really liked this insight into Salazar's childhood. You can see that the Slytherin pride is already instilled in the brothers and I think it'll be really interesting to see it grow as they become older. The only thing that I would say is that this moves along at a very swift pace and I think it may just be a little too fast, or maybe it's that the chapter is rather short...

I find the idea of three Wizarding families living in a house that is bigger on the inside interesting, especially now that the Muggle Pope has issued a warning and they must go into hiding. I can't wait to read more of your interpretation of Slytherin's backstory.

- Emily

Hufflepuff Review Spree!

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Review #6, by Maybe Introduction

18th July 2012:
Such an intriguing opening to the story! I really want to know what that chess set is all about and, aside from that this raised a lot of questions. The dust settling so quickly on the chess set is very unnerving and the beginning of what I'm assuming is the memoirs of Salazar Slytherin is very interesting...

- Emily

Hufflepuff Review Spree!

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Review #7, by Mrs Sirius Black Chapter 3

18th May 2012:
Salazar went through a lot this chapter losing all his family to muggles.. i guess this can explain his hatred against muggles in the future..

Glad you updated.. i always keep an eye out to see if there is a new chapter!

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Review #8, by Gray Raven Chapter 3

10th May 2012:
I'm so happy to find out that a new chapter of this story has been up. This is such a good story. The way you describe the whole scene really made my heart beat faster as I read through... it's intense and heart wrenching at the same time ... He lost all his family member in this unfortunate event :'(

I used to imagine that he is a noble pureblood family and that his demeanor and coldness and hatred towards muggles are affected by his upbringing. Your approach is different, but I really like it. What he experienced in this chapter will surely affect the way he sees muggles. I can't wait to read more about his thoughts and journey from here on... I think this is gonna be a very epic story :D

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Review #9, by Mrs Sirius Black Chapter 2

18th April 2012:
Good chapter wish it was a little longer considering the wait.

I like how we see the present and also the past in each chapter.

I hope to be reading the next chapter soon.

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Review #10, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter 1

23rd February 2012:
Although you say in your author's note that you're using this chapter as an introduction to the characters, I still thought that it included a lot of action. That fight scene was really well-done and heightened the excitement of the chapter, contrasting perfectly with the quieter domestic scenes. I also liked how you portrayed the children - they're harder to write because they speak and act differently, but you captured details like the older brother cheating at mock duels and the way that any insult is likely to result in a fight-fight. :P It worked well to situate Salazar as an average young wizard - he's not marked by darkness or evil from the beginning, which will make his maturation into the legendary Slytherin more complicated and interesting.

The one thing I think you should work on is adding more detail and depth to your narration. You've got the bare necessities here, and while it works well enough on its own, more feeling is needed to really get readers attached to the characters and their story. These details should include more vivid descriptions of the setting (to add more atmosphere) and the characters (to increase the readers' understanding of their motives and personalities). It would be a matter of filling in the cracks and fleshing out what you already have, or at least something to keep in mind for future chapters. :)

I'm interested in seeing how you'll work the history of the witch trials and the Church into this story, showing the growing schism between the Muggle and magical worlds and how it will affect the Slytherin family. This story has great potential and I hope your muse gives you enough to continue writing it! ^_^

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Review #11, by Violet Gryfindor Introduction

23rd February 2012:
Since you said something about updating this one, it'll be good to check out this story you're working on. I did really like the beginning of Dying Legacy (still have to finish that one, it's on my list!), and this one is no different. You've got a talent for writing such intriguing stories with suspense, action, and many surprises for readers; stories that are highly unique and lots of fun to read. Though "fun" may not be the right word, not when they're all so dark, but they're exciting and interesting - that's fun enough for me. :D

In this, I really liked how you introduced the story via the unnamed Slytherin student and how he comes across the diary in the Room of Requirement just before Tom Riddle begins living up to his inheritance as the next Slytherin - you chose your setting very carefully and I wonder how that will play into things as the story continues. That introduction sets up a great atmosphere, too - slightly gloomy and musty, but with also that fear of being caught and of breaking the rules. Maybe I'm reading into things too much, but it's great to see a prologue that properly frames and contributes to the story.

So you're going to tell the story of Slytherin! It should be exciting to read how you depict his life right from the beginning and how he would become one of the Founders. And it looks like you'll be including some medieval history along the way - it just keeps getting better and better! It's great to be able to read more of your work rather than just admire your graphics and skins. ^_^

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Review #12, by Bombwhizzle Introduction

6th November 2011:
A very creative opening. I look forward to reading more.

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Review #13, by Arithmancy_Wiz Chapter 1

2nd March 2011:
Hello and thank you for the review request! I can already tell I'm going to have a lot to comment on for this story. I love that the piece smells of interesting plot. That said, I'll focus mostly on characterization, description, dialogue and time period since that is what you mentioned in your request.

Characterization at this point is a little hard to comment on since I don't have anything canon to compare your characters to. That said, I like what you've got started, particularly with the two brothers in the second chapter. And I am intrigued by the boy in the prologue. Who exactly is he and what is he up to? I would, however, suggest taking a little more time in introducing your characters. Not physically, but personality-wise. For example, I can't get a good read on the young Slytherin. Is he a thief, sneaking into that room and stealing things that don't belong to him, or is he just insatiably curious? Why does he seem to be alone all the time? I suspect you chose the year 1937 carefully and this character is important, so make sure you give him the time he deserves. As a reader, I will be a lot more interested about what becomes of him if I know more about him. The same goes for the family in Chapter one. We didn't even learn the names of the two sisters. You don't have to give away plot points but getting a sense of a character is important.

What description you have is good. I particularly like the comments about the dust in the prologue. But there isn't actually a lot of description in either of the chapters. I think you could easily add a lot more without weighing the chapters down. Just because we as the reader are familiar with the room of requirement doesn't mean there isn't something unique you as the author can bring to it. We don't, for example, know what it means to this character in particular. Is it a room full of junk or a treasure trove?

I think the dialogue is one of your strongest elements thus far. I love the way the two boys interact at the start of chapter one, and the back and forth banter about it being wise to pick a fight/punch that boy is perfect. Alfred's reply to his father shows some spunk.

Lastly, to the time period/setting, I think you've picked up on some important pieces. I like that you mentioned how the young boys will be working soon and they eat the same food often and must wait for the father before eating. If you are looking for a way to enhance the feeling of an older era, maybe consider using fewer contractions. They always feel very modern to me. I think that might really help, particularly at the end of the prologue.

Thanks for sharing your story with me. I hope I was able to give you some helpful feedback.

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Review #14, by BalletSlippers Introduction

6th January 2011:
Oo I'm so intrigued! I'm excited to read this as you update it. Hope you update it soon!

-Emily

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Review #15, by tkdprincess96 Introduction

4th January 2011:
nice, i like it. keep it up, and update soon.

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Review #16, by Kandy Introduction

6th December 2010:
This grabbed my attention. Please continue it, I want to see what happens now!

Author's Response: I definitely will ^^ Glad you like it.
Thank you!


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Review #17, by Sandra Fiore Introduction

27th November 2010:
I'm intrigued. Please keep going. You have a lovely way with mood and place setting. Good work.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm happy you like it =D

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Review #18, by Mrs Sirius Black Introduction

25th November 2010:
wow fantastic opening chapter, seems like a promising story.. i do hope to be reading the next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Thank you! =D I hope to get chapter 2 up before the end of the year. ^^

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