carry it on ? i like it i like it .. i think something with potter would work x

Author's Response: hey sorry for the lack of updates, im away from home right now, but ie got loads of ideas and twists to add to the story :)
thanks so much fot the review!

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I'm really glad to have found this story. You said this was your first shot at writing here, right? Alright, I'll tell you what I thought.

I'll first start off with saying that when you're writing stories like this, you want to watch out for things like capitalization. It almost looks like you're writing an email to someone, not trying to write a story that has potential to be really good. I think you missed Dumbledore's name and the beginning of sentences a few times.

I have a few concerns with the length of this...it's a bit short, but that could be because it's the first chapter. That's not too bad, as long as they lengthen as time goes on.

Watch the double spaces you put in by accident. Things like that can annoy the reader.

Now, the plot is fantastic! I haven't read anything like this on this site yet! Just be sure to read over your writing before posting. I suggest writing in something like Microsoft Word and then cut and pasting it onto the submission page. That way, Word can correct the obvious mistakes.

Other than that, it wasn't a bad start. I'm going to add this to my favorites, and I'll be sure to keep an eye on this. Try and update as soon as you can! I can hardly wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: ohmygosh!!
thank you soo much!
yeah double spaces happen because my spacebar is screwey >.<
thank you so much for the advice and the favourite!
i shall be sure to correct it, and i'll update soon!
i've just got a ton of homework, and the ideas for the plot come at the most random times, so i've got to remember to write them down.

once again, thank you soo much!
♥

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