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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Love Goddess Chris, Mothers and the very few hates of Giselle Marie Renault

15th April 2011:
I wanted them to kiss!Awesome story all 'Giselle's are awesome! Chris is so cool!!!

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Review #2, by Smile :) Chris, Mothers and the very few hates of Giselle Marie Renault

10th April 2011:
Love this story! I love James and Elle, and I am so so so excited for the next chapter! I really like your plot so far, it is very refreshing and different fro most other stories, and I cannot wait for it to deepen. Great story :)

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Review #3, by Olwyn Chris, Mothers and the very few hates of Giselle Marie Renault

2nd March 2011:
Hey honey!
Great chapter. I love the way James keeps trying to convince Ellie that they should get married. And I can't wait to see her mum! XO

Author's Response: Sarah! YAY! ehm. Hey there. yeah, her mums going to be pretty crazy. And then the plot will thicken. A lot.

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Review #4, by WhatAboutRegulus Begginings, Endings and Too Many Tears for Elle.

30th January 2011:
Hello! Review...

I didn't see any mistakes so on I go :)

I never read a story quite like this one before. It was really interesting. I like how ever has a special artsy talent and that she is muggle. Makes this story a lot more original :)

So I'll take it that she doesn't like wizards? Maybe, or just because he lied for so long?

Anways, overall I thought it was really good. I liked the characters and where they were going and how you showed James. Just a really good story over all.

Sorry it's the first chapter, I don't have a lot of feed back on those haha

Nice Job!

WhatAboutRegulus

Author's Response: Giselle doesn't like that he lied to her. Thanks for the review!

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Review #5, by Aderyn Cooper Fisher, Eye-Sex and the True Nature of James Potter

30th January 2011:
Hello again.

This chapter is pretty short, and I'm not sure that much happens. I agree with James that Elle forgave her friends pretty quickly, while leaving him high and dry. She was so mad at him, that she broke up with him, but she's still chummy with her friends?

Also, I feel like Elle is too accepting of magic. She thinks it's strange (like apparation) but gets over it really, really quickly. Even Harry freaked out when he first apparated, and he was a wizard.

Maybe try to slow things down a little. You introduce a ton of characters in this chapter, each with different relationships. Some are more subtle than others, and with some (Cooper and Addie) there seems to be something going on, even if you don't elaborate. That could get very easily lost when you introduce so many people.

The spelling and grammar looks good to me. Also, the spacing is much better. =]

Overall, this isn't bad, but I think you could do to edit it and expand it, so the new information isn't lost.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I'm going to go back and look at that soon. Thanks!

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Review #6, by Aderyn Begginings, Endings and Too Many Tears for Elle.

30th January 2011:
Hi, here for your review!

This is a very interesting premise. However, I feel like you sort of skimmed over the interesting parts. All you say is that Giselle cried when James told her. I think that you could focus more on her reaction and then get to the aftermath later on.

My biggest problem with this is that if felt all over the place. Giselle's character seems so scattered. I feel like you're trying to set up the story, but you do so very disjointedly. While I"m not saying you have to be completely chronological, maybe try to group the scenes so that there is the beginning, a flashback to meeting james, and then a back to the present, with Giselle remembering the proposal.

Also, I have to wonder, how did Giselle end up with a boyfriend and two best friends who are all magical? Did she meet her friends through James?

Also, and this is a tad picky, all those spaces in between paragraphs is annoying. Maybe just get rid of some. Good job with spelling/grammar, I didn't see any problems.

Overall, not a bad start. I'm interested to see what you do next.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. Giselle did meet her friends through James, That's going to get mentioned more later. Thanks!

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Review #7, by Olwyn Cooper Fisher, Eye-Sex and the True Nature of James Potter

6th January 2011:
Hello there darling! Whoops, sorry for missing the fact that this was up!
Anyway, I still love this chapter. The way you show that she's an outsider is so good.
Favoriting! I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.
Love!

Author's Response: Hello, m'dear. Thanks for kinda betaing this. I'm not sure if I gave you credit. I'll go check that and correct it if I didn't :)

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Review #8, by Olwyn Begginings, Endings and Too Many Tears for Elle.

2nd December 2010:
Oh, this is so great! I always wondered what the reaction to that kind of thing would be!
Hi! I love your stories! :D

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Review #9, by Sharryhanker Begginings, Endings and Too Many Tears for Elle.

15th November 2010:
Really enjoyed the start, nice and fresh idea as well.

Author's Response: Thanks! I wasn't sure if this would work out (originally it was Al and Elle, but I thought James would work better).

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