I absolutely adore this story, but i was not please with how easy it was to tell she would be in ravenclaw. When explaining the houses the example was ravenclaw. You seem to favor the house and refer to it often. i was really hopping you would surprise me with your placement- I was kind of disappointed. Apart from how easy it was to predict her placement I have no complaints on thestory. It truely was wonderful! Report Review
So that Crumple-thing really was real! I'm glad Luna has such a big part in your story. The bond between her and Kaydee will be interesting. Also, is the Galleon from her days in the DA? It's nice to know that meant so much to her
you never mentioned who was at Hogwarts posting on that website and that computer is still missing! It had to be someone who knew that she had the computer. Will this be what drives your whole series? That would be really interesting. Surprisingly, there aren't many stories that deal with that issue too much.
Also, about Hannah. Is she not married at all? At first I thought she and Neville were married, but then she said her first love died.
"Raban tended to her food with the manners of a princess, while Punchinello attacked her meal with great zeal..."
Lol, I gotta say that Punchinello is one of my favorite professors. She's so fun! I'm glad no professors turned out to be evil this year. It's nice to know that the kids are safe. Filtwick is also a great Headmaster! And Brookfield. I don't even know where to start with that guy...
The other muggleborn must be the Dursley right? Can he be the one involved in this whole muggle menace thing?
Also, I'm glad that the kids get to sit together next year :)
And what a twist!! Wow, such a great story. Your writing has improved so much since the beginning of this book, and I am really looking forward to the next. Report Review
Aww, Rose is so sweet and selfless. Does Al really not know about this? I really wish she were sorted into Ravenclaw, then at least she wouldn't have to take James' position.
Also, it sounds like the muggles are up to something and Kaydee's dad played a huge part in it. Could it be that there will be a war between the muggles and magic? This could get really interesting!
This is a really great story. Can't wait to read the rest! I love OC stories. Report Review
Snorkacks! I love the reverse etymology of the legendary beast's name: it fits beautifully with the rest of the Universe. I do have to admit, though, that my first thoughts were "Crumplehorn isn't Cornish", Cornish place names typically having a pattern all of their own, so I googled it to see how real it was. I was therefore surprised to see its actual existence just outside Looe, but contented to read that the spelling was a major corruption of the original Cornish. I am not quite motivated enough to investigate further when I head down to Cornwall next month!
The conclusion (or otherwise - it's clearly a case of the battle is over: now the war begins) wraps up enough plot points to mean I'm not wondering what happened somewhere (except, perhaps, what Grawp was up to), but also my interest is piqued ready for that the next book... and the questions remaining unanswered.
I also think I have worked out the identity of the second muggle-born in the school. I am not entirely sure how I had missed it thus far, however I figure you have to be utterly canonically illiterate to miss the hints standing on the Platform.
I look forwards to Book II.Author's Response: Thanks much Sheriff! I think you have a good handle on who the other muggle-born is. Also I'm glad to see you were curious enough to find out I didn't just make up the location of Crumplehorn! And good call, too, I doubt if it will be Snorkack season ; )
Chapter 1 of Book II should get the green light any day now. It starts with a bang, I hope you like it. Report Review
What a wonderful story, I really enjoyed it, thanks for writing it.
RiverAuthor's Response: thank you! I hope you enjoy the ending and the second book. Report Review
I didn't watch the 4400 - I just remember some trailers on Sky a few years ago - so alas that subtlety will be lost on me. I am pleased to have spotted it nonetheless! My excuse regarding not figuring out the other muggleborn is that I have been reading these chapters one at a time on and off since Christmas... I'm sure I'd have been able to figure it out had I read it through in one sitting (maybe).
I do like the idea of the charmed beds - mine seems like that at the moment but perhaps that's just the volume of work I've got on - certainly didn't wake me up on time this morning... Barely written a word in my own story for two weeks but do have two new chapters validated.
Anyway, Brookfield is certainly covering all his bases, isn't he? Very much striking me as the Kingmaker type who holds the levers behind the scenes - did we learn which House he was in as a child? Liking the fact that we have several sub-plots and potential outlets rumbling in the background, and that the obvious - back in time to plant the Willows - has been discarded.
Now, I get the feeling things are about to kick off in spectacular fashion (but isn't Luna's husband meant to be Rolf Scamander?)
Looking forward to C17!Author's Response: Sheriff, good to hear from you.
I didn't watch the 4400 either, but I know that the principals were victims of abduction. What that means in terms of Kaydee has yet to be discussed and won't be discussed in this book. But it is key to the entire story. I can't really divulge more.
I like the charmed beds too. I thought about how serious Ravenclaws are about study and imagined their House would be geared toward that end.
Glad you like Brookfield (me too). He did not attend Hogwarts. He was originally an American, but that was a very long time ago. Don't be too sure you've heard the last about the willows, someone planted them.
You are right, we are about to go on a real journey. However, the site seems to have a problem with backlog. Got a rejection for the latest chapter today. The rejection notice said it was due to their own backlog, which they hope to resolve soon.
About Rolf. I know some people say Rolf is Rolf Scamander, but I don't know that this has been confirmed by JK. I got the name directly from her website, a hand-written diagram of families. It only mentions Rolf (no last name). Long and short: I took license here. In retrospect, that may have been a mistake.
Oh yeah, not too worry about the other muggle born, I'm sure you'll figure it out in the last chapter, though Kaydee will not.
Cheers and thanks for reading!
Right, first things first! You have taught me to look very carefully at names, and I can't help but recall a not-particularly-popular scifi series called the 4400 about a gang of people sent back in time to avert catastrophe. I am sure you are far too careful for that to be a coincidence!
We've had quite a few loose ends tied up and I am looking forward to the story gathering momentum as we work out what's going on with the muggle-borns. I wonder who the other student is? Have we met him/her yet? Something also tells me we haven't seen the end of Mrs Talmadge either - can't figure out any significance of her name, though...Author's Response: Howdy Sheriff!
Yes, there is a passing significance to the 4400 but it is too much of a spoiler to give it away. But I will say this, the series you mentioned "The 4400" wasn't so much about time travel as another phenomenon.
Yes, you have met the other muggle-born student. I'm a little surprised you haven't guessed it already as you've been pretty sharp about such things. While that secret is not revealed to the characters in Book 1, there will be ample evidence for the reader to piece it together at the end of Book 1. The revealing of the student's identity to Kaydee is a key ingredient in the climax of Book 2.
As for Mrs. Talmadge, you are correct about not seeing the last of her, but not so much in Book 1. Also, no specific significance in her name, her's was a "sound" name. I wanted a name that sounded curmudgeonly.
Cheers and thanks for reading.
Things really start to heat up soon! Report Review
Aha... so we now see the other computer that you had mentioned, and we get to see the actual form of the "Muggle Menace". How Kaydee and friends are going to get their heads around this, however...
I've done my research as requested, and dug out the 1969 film. I imagine it's one of many British boarding-school sources that helped inspire JKR: it's not realistic enough for my liking: my classrooms always seem to be much closer to the brink of anarchy - but maybe that's just me... It has certainly answered the question as to the origin of Brookfield's name, but as to clarifying what exactly a vincovicis is, it's not helped. Possibly the fact that my Latin is only at 9-year-old bottom-set level doesn't help matters.
I imagine there is some context between Brookfield having a great many life experiences and being able to draw upon them, rising above the learned ideas that the wizards have: whilst Kaydee can't see past her pencil being a pencil.
I have also taken a rather deeper interest in the other characters' names - Damocles is obvious (or perhaps it's too obvious?), but as for Punchinello, well, the best reference I can find is the bad guys in Max Payne... but the Professor isn't evil - or is she? Hmm. Confused. More so by the fact that a Raban is a Sri Lankan drum. Now I am certain I am going right up the wrong tree. I think I shall need to read a bit more before I get any closer to any decent ideas.
As for my story, you should be able to find it by clicking on the name at the top of the review (don't think I'm allowed to write direct links). 8 chapters written, 3 published. M for language and only language!
Roll on Chapter 14...Author's Response: Ah, Sheriff, glad you wrote.
I was thinking maybe my request might have been taken as snotty, which I certainly didn't mean. I find those sorts of pursuits to be a fun challenge but I realized not everyone would think so. I guess you did, so I am glad for that.
However, I sure wish you could have found the 1939 original staring Robert Donat.
My Movie Guide lists the 1969 version as one turkey. The actual review is only four words long: "Cash in this Chips."
Anyway the 1939 version is a delight and Robert Donat won the Oscar for best actor. Hence Professor Brookfield's first name: Donatello.
Speaking of the 1969 version, it was on TCM the other night and I didn't watch it even though I love Peter O'Toole. In fact I have always thought they should have gotten him to take over the role of Dumbledore after Richard Harris died. In my opinion, it took Michael Gambon three films before he got anywhere near the character. One of the only miscastings (again IMO) made in the film franchise.
As for other names,
n. pl. PunÂ·chiÂ·nelÂ·los or PunÂ·chiÂ·nelÂ·loes
1. The short fat buffoon or clown in an Italian puppet show.
2. One who resembles a short fat clown.
n pl -los, -loes
1. (Performing Arts / Theatre) a type of clown from Italian burlesque or puppet shows, the prototype of Punch
2. (sometimes not capital) any grotesque or absurd character
I think you understand Damocles well enough, though did you notice his first name? Cophantys.
I thought that may be too obvious as he is such a sycophant.
No real significance to Raban's last name. It's her first name: Reannon. Spelled the Irish way as opposed to the song "Rhiannon."
Not all the names have real significance but were chosen more for sound such as Vinevere Uttley. Just saying "Uttley" sounds rude to my ears.
And then there's her friend Boris Entwhistle, who was named in homage to the late, great bass player of the Who, John Entwhistle, who sang lead vocals for the Who song "Boris the Spider" and who owned a custom-made bass named "Boris" with a spider-web motif.
I will check your link.
Thanks again for your interest in Kaydee and taking the trouble to post reviews.
Don't read past here if you want to find this information out as you read.
More on Brookfield: I don't know if it's true in the 1969 movie, but in the 1939 film, Chips teaches latin. In latin, vincovicis means "Master of time" Brookfield is a time traveler. Also, vincovicis is not the same as a "chrononaut" which also means time traveler. This will come up in book 2.
And you are right that Brookfield has a great many life experiences. His back story is somewhat tragic. Brookfield is much older than he would seem and he did not become a time traveler by choice. He did so to try to make right a mistake he made in his past.
I am starting to get the feeling that I am the only person reading this, but I am not going to stop reviewing it, as my own story is currently totally unreviewed and that's not much fun! I guess it's something about OCs...
I'm still much enjoying following the story and am certainly liking the little bits of forshadow and cross-story that are building in the background. You're doing a really good job of creating enough colour and depth in your own universe - we know a few things that are going on in and around Hogwarts but not enough to be able to firmly predict the plot.
I get the feeling that Rose won't be able to stay off her broom... but I have no idea who or what Brookfield is...Author's Response: Thanks very much Sheriff!
I'm happy to say you are not alone in reading the story. I'm not sure how many are continuing to read, but Kaydee's story should top 1000 (total) reads sometime today. I have no idea if that represents a lot or a few, as we are unable to compare with other authors.
I would be very happy to read your story if you could direct me to it.
Also, you have keen insight my friend. I'm really proud of some of the more subtle references I have placed in the story and I took great care in naming certain characters. Brookfield is a good example. Since you have been such a loyal reader, I'll give you a clue. If you don't remember, go back and read what movie Kaydee and her parents were going to watch before the accident. Find that movie and watch it. (You may have to check your local library, or download a torrent) See if you don't think, as I do, that it was one of many, many source references JK used in creating her great works.
Another hint: the star of the movie won the Oscar for best actor in what many consider the greatest movie-making year of all time.
Once again, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. I'm still hard at work on Kaydee 2. Will post chapter 1 as soon as the final chapter of Kaydee & MM is posted. Report Review
This queue-delay-thing is a great irritant, isn't it? I'm dead keen to read the rest of it, particularly as your OCs start to interact with the very-believably-11-years-old semi-canon characters to fit into the magical world. I'm looking forward to seeing the way you explore the sorting, and the children's feelings, wherever they end up. Can't wait for the next bit!
Just a couple of little things: being the sort of person who would happily talk cricket with Brian all the way from Haworth to London, it would be 4+ hours if not longer on a weekday morning, and I get the feeling that Brian would be following Yorkshire County Cricket Club in the County Championship. The Yorkshire League is a mainly amateur competition that doesn't really generate much of a following.Author's Response: Thanx for your interest and response.
You may be right about cricket. I meant for Kaydee to not know a thing about it, I may have taken that a step too far.
Again, thanx for the note and I certainly hope you enjoy the rest of the book, and, yeah, the delay biz is a bore.
Also, I am getting close to completing Book 2, Kaydee's second year at Hogwarts. Report Review
Great story, I really enjoy reading it :D
But why don`t you continue writing it? I thought you were going to tell about her life at Hogwarts too, but the status is completed. I really want you to keep writing on it! < 3Author's Response: Viccy,
Thanks for the remarks.
Not to worry, The book is completed (Nearly 500 pages). the "completed" status is for each chapter. There is another chapter coming as soon as the site is back up running to normal (there was a holiday break) and there are many more chapters after that.
Also, I am nearly finished with a second book. Report Review
Well written; I've enjoyed reading this so far. Close enough to Canon to hold a deal of resonance, yet different enough for us to be thinking, "what's the deal with Mr Meriweather?" and "Wonder what that Japanese computer's for?"
I look forward to the next update!Author's Response: Thanx Sheriff!
Just so you know, the book has been completed and I am half way through a second book, which (IMHO) is better. You should know that I have plot lines planned through seven books (not a coincidence) and while the computer you mention does come up again, it won't for a while, though another one does.
I'm glad you noticed the differences and similarities, that was one of my main motivations to begin with. I really hope you enjoy some of the new characters Kaydee meets once she's at Hogwarts.
Great story so far! Interesting and sounds like the rest will be good! If you continue to write.Author's Response: Kyle, Glad you are enjoying the story. Actually the entire book has been completed and I am half way through a second book. The first book is 478 pages and I am loading the chapters as fast as the mods will allow. By the way, IMHO, the second book is better. I am some 250 pages into it.
I hope you enjoy some of the new characters that will appear once Kaydee gets to Hogwarts. Report Review
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