Well wasn't this just one of the most awesome things I've read in a while? :O HEY SEVVY! So, I said I'd get this to you by the New Year, yet here I am on the 8th... tch, dear, dear. Just what I'm like m'afraid. *Cowers in case wrath comes* But lets just hooold up the wrath, and I'll do the review first (and then you can kill me). XD
THIS WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. You could really feel Narciss's dedication and the desperation for Lucius to come home, and as this is multi-chaptered I anxiously await the next one! :D But to start off with something; characterization.
I loved Draco. Had to be said xD Such sweet innocence... (what happened, dude?!) and you're really great at showing that even Draco had a childhood. A time when he'd want to act immature, ask senseless questions and not quite bully everything he sees - although, perhaps holding the dragonfly by its wings could be foreshadowing in a sense? Or perhaps I'm looking too much into it, haha. xD Only thing is, at first he says "mother" twice, and other times he says "mum" - I wonder which one would be better? Because mother demonstrates the upbringing I think he would've had, but Mum is much more childish. But you can still be a sweet child with "Mother" so, idk. And to be honest, I don't even know why I care. o.O I guess I'm just annoying like that... (you know you love me ;D).
Narcissa was very good as well, and I think the only times we really see her in the book is when she's looking after Draco, so its definitely something easy to assume that she'd be very caring. She obviously really cares about him, (and about his father) and she acted like a really nice mother - bang on, I liked it! And her attitude towards the house elves too - kinder, nicer, it just brings out more character. Like with the cooking the food... maybe its just something to keep her busy? And her devotion, as mentioned. Could bring a tear to my eye... :')
Buuut... *sticks on annoying hat* ... I didn't much like Lucius. (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!) He just seemed a little... brusque in my opinion. Like... the way I always felt it, he'd be quite polite to his wife, and maybe occasionally lose his temper at her, but not ignore her completely. Or perhaps my interpretation is completely wrong, and I fail? But its all down to creative license I think - if this Lucius fits in with the story better, then this Lucius RULES! :D
Moving on, here's some storyline love! (:< I can't say I've read many Lucius/Narcissa fics (this must be somewhere around my third, haha) but I'd like to say its pretty individual. I always assumed that it was probably an arranged marriage that they both hated, and Draco was just a result of that marriage to keep the Malfoy (and Black) family lines going. So its definitely interesting to read about something where it may have been a marriage of convenience for Lucius, but Narcissa may have actually loved him :O Shockhorror! I wonder how she'll end up dealing with that for the rest of her life? D: (Erm, chapter 2 pleaseandthankyou? :]) And I hope she stops devoting herself to Lucius (she kinda does, DH *duh*, James) because Draco deserves the attention more!
THIS WAS AWESOME. BELIEVE ME. :D
And this is usually the part where I stick on my "I'm-annoying-look-at-me-know-it-all-i-smell" hat, but actually I can't find anything to crit... WHICH IS RARE. Because I'm a snobby son of a benandjerry's ice cream, I always get annoyed with wrong grammar... but I couldn't find anything. *Laugh*. BE HAPPY. XD
(Because the "one more minutes?" part was SO awesome.)
This is a really fab start to a fic, and I can't wait to see the next chapter! Bring Jamesie the next chapter soon, pweeease! :)
By the way, *I* love you! :) (Even if I review late... *dies*)
See ya soon!
Love James xx
10/10 AND I give into wrath giving now... T_TAuthor's Response: Jamesie!
*cowers in shame* It's been 9 months, my wrath died out but I dunno about yours though... >..< Yeah, I appreciated your long review but it was really long and I didn't know what to say so yeah, I ended up putting it off for a long time. =_=" sowwy.
Anyway, I'm glad you think that way. Actually, I did do that purposely. I was considering on having him pluck out the dragonfly's wings but then later decided against it. x3 :P
I totally know what you mean. And now I'm pretty confused about it myself. x3 Mother/Mum?
I ain't gonna kill you Jamesie. I know what you mean about Lucius because when I reread the story, I found that I mis-portrayed Lucius and that I'll have to edit it because I know I can do better without ruining the story but I'm too lazy *hence why no update yet*
Oh really? Now that you put that in my head, it won't get out. x3 I never thought about them being forced into marriage and them hating it but if I ever did, then I must've assumed that they would fall for each other later anyway. >.<
I'm gonna take that as a compliment and besides, it's rather rare seeing a "snobby son of a benandjerry's ice cream" like egoistic you boosting someone else's ego. :P Besides, I'm pretty nitpicky with my grammar and spelling myself and if I ever make a mistake, I'd love for it to be pointed out. And seeing as you haven't found any, YAY ME! X3
I'll do that.as soon as I'm not lazy. =_=" Thank you for taking the time to read and review dearest.
I loff you too!
Sevvy Report Review
Ack! I read this a few days ago and I can't believe it's taken me so long to review it!
I love this beginning. It was so interesting to see Narcissa compare herself to the house-elves and how that theme carried through to the end of the chapter. Watching her interact with Draco was really sweet and sad. She loves her son, obviously, but she's so distracted with trying to please Lucius that she doesn't pay as much attention to Draco as she should.
I really loved the bit where Draco was arguing to get to stay up a little bit later. Especially the last bit:
"One more minutes?" he tried again.
I'm not sure if that was a typo or if it was on purpose, but I think it finally drew a line between older Draco and young, child Draco.
I can't wait to read the rest of this story! We didn't get to see much of Lucius, but it was obvious that he was his usual cold, distant self. I'm looking forward to seeing more of their relationship!
Thank you so much for dedicating this story to me. I'm still shocked that my story inspired you. It means a lot to me. ^^
P.S. I do go by Demi, as well. :PAuthor's Response: Hiii Demiii! :)
You do, really? *squeal* Thanks! I know what you mean, she's so dedicated. But at least, in the end, she did what was right and chose her son. And Lucius should be glad too, because that choice saved the, :P
Hahaha, no, it wasn't a typo, I did that in purpose because Draco's just so cute, I couldn't resist. :P
Of course it's dedicated to you! Because you're full of awesome, just saying. :P
THANKS FOR REVIEWING~!
Sevvy Report Review
Yay! A multi-chaptered story from Sevvyy!!
And what a nice beginning it is; you really set the mood of this family and present Narcissa in a very realistic way.
I can't wait to see where you are planning to take this though; it could really go anywhere from the dramas of adultery to pure, simple family moments.
As for the spell check; the one thing I really noticed what the "Twelve Midnight"; not sure what you mean by that (or if you just forgot to erase one of the two words). Other spelling mistakes are mostly in your Author's note! Plus there's extra manipulation going on there too, made me laugh quite a bit!
I had a good time reading this and will certainly keep looking out for it; thanks for the enjoyable moment!Author's Response: KUSSY!!!
I'm so sorry I took so long to respond. (Inner-self: She got lazy)
You really think so? Thanks, I was worried I didn't portray them right. Actually, I was thinking that too...you know, if I should do simple moments or adultery based dark times. :P We'll see how it goes.
Well, Twelve Midnight I did in purpose. because really, it's to distinguish between Twelve Midnight and Twelve Noon, right? I had spelling mistakes in my Author's Note? Where?!?! *looks around frantically*
Thank you for reading and reviewing, when I first read your review, I smiled really wide because it was you, the awesome Kussy. :D
Lots of Loff,
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