not bad could use a little more detail in the begaining explaining on how they got picked up and how long they been in in prison since the opening scene

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Wow :) I really like this. Harry seems so powerful.

The Harry/Hermione thing came a little out of no where, maybe work on introducing it a bit better. But apart form that I loved it so far.

Author's Response: Harry is powerful. Very much so. His love gives him incredible magical strength. As for the "Harry and Hermione thing," IMO, she is the one for him. The only one. Forgive my blasphemy, but that's the one thing that JKR really blew it
If you read the books, it's obvious that Hermione loves Harry with all of her heart anf soul. Who is the only person that is always there for him, no matter what? Hermione.
That's love Mrs. Potter.
I'm going to post more of this story in just a few minutes, so perhaps you'll see what I see.
I hope so.

Robert

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This is priceless, you have got to finsh it, please. I haven't stopped snickering since the trail started and Umbridge took the stand. Fantastic.

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Not your normal work of art. It seemed forced. It had many errors, which is not like you. Although a good concept, it could have been written better. The pauses between lines made it hard to follow. All in all, not your best work. Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but, it is true. Keeperoliver.

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Just a suggestion, you could have smaller spaces and fit more into the chapter. But otherwise, great story!

Author's Response: The spacing is a real problem, but it's what this site demanded. Sorry. Glad that you like the story so far.
But the best is yet to come.
BTW, I would like to speak to you about a couple of your stories. And a couple of other things, too.
Think that you could e-mail me at racincpix at yahoo dot com? I'd appreciate it.

Robert

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