34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Your Ravenclaw Secret Santa I'm Falling in Love With Who??

24th December 2011:
It's me again! Happy Christmas!
Can't say I'm much of a Dramione fan, but I thought I'd leave a review anyways!
Thought Hermione was very in character, and I liked how you showed her "slacking" in her lessons. And getting extremely upset at Snape's unfair attitude towards Gryffindors.
I can't say your Draco was in character, but you did make him likable, something that can be tricky.
I would've liked more detail on how the mutual liking started for each character, and more about the little details they're just starting to notice in each other.
Overall, a good job, the ending was the perfect culmination to the build up of feelings you'd been explaining.

Keep it up!

Secret Santa

Author's Response: You're a dear for reviewing this even though you don't like Dramione. Thank you! :D Oh, I know how OOC both Draco and Hermione is but I leave this story up as a reminder of how not to write fanfiction :P

-Sophia


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Review #2, by maskedmuggle I'm Falling in Love With Who??

1st October 2011:
Wow! Sophia, for a first fan fic this is really good! I wish my first one was as good as yours! (: I'm aware this story is AU, so all I'm going to say about the characterisation is that it was really great how you kept their main personality traits and characteristics, and made it work with the AU plot!

Quite a simple plot, but I thought you wrote it really well. All the dialogue was actually written so well as well, and really enhanced the story. The ending just makes me go awww. Just an enjoyable read!
- charlotte :)

Author's Response: Lol, this really isn't good. I can see that now, even if I thought it was a year ago. :P Thanks for the nice comments despite all that!

-Sophia


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Review #3, by Loving_Sirius_4eva I'm Falling in Love With Who??

11th September 2011:
Really nice story! It was a lovely story to read before bed :) 9/10

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. :)

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Review #4, by Dark Whisper I'm Falling in Love With Who??

11th June 2011:
Oh... this is only a one-shot... Darn... I wanted more.

Loved the water fight!

So sweet!

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it. :)

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Review #5, by charlottetrips I'm Falling in Love With Who??

4th May 2011:
Ha! I've always that Draco was one to upstage a person!

I normally don't like Dramiones set in Hogwarts because it's completely unreal to me, though I do like Dramiones in as a general op basis so I liked this one.

As always, your descriptions of what is happening around the person is something I greatly enjoy. Plus your dialogue. I can never do that so envy someone who does it well.

Author's Response: Charlotte! You're too kind to me! Three reviews in one go?? ^.^

I've always said that this Dramione is definitely not my best story, but I keep it up as a reminder of the first story I posted here. Thanks for reviewing and for the lovely comments. :)

-Sophia x


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Review #6, by Sarahkay502 I'm Falling in Love With Who??

3rd May 2011:
Cute! Loved it! Wish it had more!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #7, by expelliarmus_obliviate I'm Falling in Love With Who??

27th March 2011:
great!! I really liked Draco's characterization!!!

the only thing I'd say is to maybe explain his sudden change a bit more? I mean he loathed Hermione before.

I really liked their bickering!! it was very entertaining :)

-explliarmus_obliviate

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)

I know this is very OOC for both Hermione and Draco. Goodness knows I've been told many times before! :P

-Sophia x


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Review #8, by libby103 I'm Falling in Love With Who??

8th March 2011:
Hi!

So, I noticed this was AU, something I've never really read before, so I wanted to give it a shot! (I also haven't read a Dramione in a long time...they used to be my favorite ship, but nowadays...well there's all these Next Generation characters and what-not) Onto the REAL review!

So, you fit this in nicely with the timeline of the HP books because Hermione was distracted at that time period, and you gave a better reason for her to be distracted.

I know this wasn't meant to be a comedy, but I'm in a humourous mood tonight and sort of read it as such. "his smooth hands"? I just found that line hilarious, then again, I think I'm a bit off my rocker tonight.

This story had a lot of cliches that are typically found in Dramione fics. (Something I've always noticed is how the two get caught up in each other's looks and how hot the other has gotten since they first met them...also scenes where they sorry to each other for whatever reason as if they're trying to convey more...and of course, in general, when one person shuts up another by kissing them) All first stories are just riddled with cliches though, so no worries. However, despite the cliche feeling I got from it, I am one of those nutters who love cliches. So I enjoyed this in a rather silly way.

I loved how Hermione thought she was going crazy in the library. Their little water fight was a little originality sprinkled in and was absolutely delightful to read (though this story is AU for a reason.)

I hope I wasn't too critical with my observance of cliches!
from,
Liberty

Author's Response: Hey Libby! I'm glad you found this enjoyable in a slightly strange way :P

I know all about the cliches and the OOC characters but I've decided to keep this up here for now to remind me of what not to do when I'm writing!

Thanks again,

-Sophia x


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Review #9, by silverstarletworld89 I'm Falling in Love With Who??

4th March 2011:
Ok so I never usually read Dramione stories because I am a die hard Romione fan all the way, but I you may have made me sway a little bit. I enjoyed the flow and pace of your story, I felt that your characters were a bit OOC, but it definitely worked for this story I feel.

And for being the first story that you wrote it was very good =D. Enjoyed it
Silverstarletworld89

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reviewing :) I know the characters are OOC but I'm glad you enjoyed it despite that.

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Review #10, by undermyspell I'm Falling in Love With Who??

4th March 2011:
OMG this was sooo good please do a sequel

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. This is going to stay a one-shot. :)

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Review #11, by me I'm Falling in Love With Who??

3rd March 2011:
It was great, but please add more!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :) This is just a one-shot so there won't be any more.

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Review #12, by ykai I'm Falling in Love With Who??

3rd March 2011:
Bit of a cliffy ending but still really cute.. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #13, by Aiedail I'm Falling in Love With Who??

28th February 2011:
aww okay, normally i prefer to see dramiones done in an overly parodic fashion, but i think this one has potential for being really good despite the too-nice and too-reasonable draco. your writing style is a good balance of plot/dialogue interaction, and for your first fic this is really a feat ! :)
there are three major things that i would do differently. one, i would take out the "hermione's pov" etc because they interrupt the flow, and the characters should be different enough in a story that changes perspective for the reader to tell the narrations apart from each other. the next thing is to add a little more definition to the personalities of both characters. i believe that being OOC is okay in fan fiction as long as you do it well enough to convince your audience. it might not fit everyone's taste, but if you can present draco and hermione in ways that don't distract the reader (so that they're not thinking "he would never have made that little list of nice things about her!" throughout the story), then it's still a successful characterization. i think that too often OOC and bad story are used interchangeably, and to me, this simply isn't the case. draco still needs to be witty, sarcastic, wry--he still needs to degrade "granger" in my opinion, but he can have a realisation like the one here as well. i can see the situation unfolding in canon--the detention, since it was given by snape, doesn't seem that far from the mark, but one point that is a little problematic for me is the way that draco so easily lets down his guard at the end. i would have expected him to fight a little more, but then yes, eventually give in.
thirdly, i would use dialogue as a vehicle for changing p.o.v.'s. have hermione say something to draco, and then the next line be something that draco thinks about that. then continue in draco's p.o.v., then have him think something, then hermione think something as if in response (after all, context and them both being in the same one makes this plausible), and then continue in hermione's p.o.v., etc...work it in as seamlessly as you can, and even though to you writing it you might worry that the reader won't be able to pick up on the change, it'll be tastefully obvious, if you know what i mean!
all that being said i still really enjoyed reading this, and think that especially in light of this being your first fic, it's charming in its own right.
--lily :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Lily :)

This probably has to be the best review I've had for this story! I know it's quite OOC for both characters so thank you for your suggestions.

I've edited out the POV bits and it's in the queue at the moment. Your other two suggestions certainly make sense and I'll try editing the story and making it flow better in the future.

Thanks again :) You've helped a lot!

-Sophia x


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Review #14, by tammi123 I'm Falling in Love With Who??

26th February 2011:
this is awsome and it's not beacause theres alot of kissing and that crap! keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #15, by TheProphecy I'm Falling in Love With Who??

25th February 2011:
Hello,

Your review as promised :) Sorry about the mix up :(

Anyway, I kind of liked this. It had all the good elements of a fic, well written, nice build up good emotions etc.But the only thing that kinda ruined it was the horrendous amount of OOC Draco and a couple of clichés.

I kinda felt Draco accepted it wayy to easily. The Draco I knew would have fought his feelings before embracing them and would probably have been even more horrible to Hermione because of it.

Sorry I just totally criticised your whole plot :O But I did like it anyway despite the Clichéness.

I thought Snape and Ron and Harry were all done well and I did like Hermione at the beginning :)

Sorry if it feels like all criticism I did really like it :)

Hannah x

Author's Response: Hey Hannah!

Don't worry about all the criticism. I happily accept that this is my worst story, very OOC and totally cliched.

I think I might delete this pretty soon ;)

Thanks for the compliments (which were what exactly?). Hehe. I know you mean well ;)

-Sophia x


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Review #16, by HarrietHopkirk I'm Falling in Love With Who??

23rd February 2011:
I usually never read Dramiones. Ever. Ron and Hermione forever and for the win. For ever and ever.

But I liked this! You've got a great writing style and a good handle on grammar and spelling and all that. However, the flow of the story - which is sometimes very important, but usually more so in a chaptered fic so don't worry about it that much - was disrupted by writing things like 'Hermione's POV'. Your first person writing is good enough that readers will realise the change.

Overall, a little OOC (but all Dramiones are, right?) but a lovely little one-shot! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)

I know this is very OOC which is why it's not my favourite fic I've written.

I'll take out all the POV changes, thank you for the suggestion. :)

-Sophia x


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Review #17, by iamlilypotter I'm Falling in Love With Who??

20th February 2011:
Renee pops over to the next story!

So, let me start off by saying that I really dislike Dramione. Now that that's been said, I'm really sorry that this isn't my type of story, so I'll comment more on the writing? :)

What I like - Again, your writing is flawless, and I only caught one grammar mistake (no-one should just be no one). If this was any other pairing, it would be totally believable, but as I said before, I'm a fan of Canon. Though, even I have to admit this has turned me on to Dramione a bit because it is really adorable.

What I don't like - Draco is OOC. I know it, and I'm pretty sure you know it as well. I'm sorry, and I know other people love Dramione, but it isn't my cup of tea. Truly sorry, but it is well written.

~Renee

Author's Response: Hello again!

First off, I know this is very very OOC and almost impossible to ever happen. :) Fair enough, you don't like Dramione at all but I applaud you for reading and reviewing despite that :)

I will make sure to amend that mistake, thanks. And thanks for putting yourself through that for me!

-Sophia x


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Review #18, by livii I'm Falling in Love With Who??

5th February 2011:
LOVE it :D brilliant ending, just genius

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #19, by ravenclaw_princess I'm Falling in Love With Who??

2nd February 2011:
This is a cute little one shot. It was well written and flowed fairly well through the story. I would avoid putting 'Hermione's POV' etc through the story though as they detract from in and break the flow up. The same thing can be down with a break line of some sort like a few stars. Your writing is good enough that it will immediately become apparent that the POV has changed.

Naturally, it is totally OOC for Hermione and Draco, but only because there is no back story or anything to it. But if you ignore the pairing, it is very sweet and i totally enjoyed it. And anyway, there is nothing wring with OOC character Dramione every so often. Well done on a nicely written and sweet story.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

Yes, I've read about how this breaks up the flow of the story so I think I'll use your idea of putting asterisks instead :) And I know how OOC this pairing is but I think I just wanted to write something sweet and fluffy at the time :)

Thanks again!
Sophia x


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Review #20, by ariellem I'm Falling in Love With Who??

26th December 2010:
Alright while I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, I'm sorry to say that I found this very ooc it would have been better with another pairing. Good story but another pairing, and please don't take this the wrong way I think your a great writer but I just not a dramione shipper.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

Fair enough, I know you don't like Dramione fics and I agree that this was quite ooc. Besides, I didn't really give you much choice about which story to review ;)

Happy New Year! :D


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Review #21, by kaileena_sands I'm Falling in Love With Who??

25th December 2010:
Oooh, that was sweet :))) Of course, it was a bit sudden but from time to time we all need to read some Dramione where we get instant action instead of having to read through 13143 pages before we get to it. Lol. :D

Anyways... I like it. It was sweet, well-written and I was even chuckling when Snape was giving them detention when he found out that Draco hadn't been paying attention either. Good job, especially for a first fic!

Happy Holidays,
Harley

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Harley :)

Yeah, I know I need to put more introduction into the story. I just need to find a way of doing that but still keeping it a one-shot :/
Aah well, when I have more time on my hands, I'll edit the story and make it a bit better hopefully.

Happy Holidays!
Sophia x


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Review #22, by InsideTheFire I'm Falling in Love With Who??

23rd December 2010:
I liked this story. Your writing flows very well, and there are hardly any spelling/grammar mistakes at all, which I positively adored.

It was cute, though completely unrealistic. I don't want to be harsh about stating my opinion...anyhoo. It was kind of cliche, where Draco and Hermione suddenly love each other. You need explanation as to why they suddenly love each other. Jumping straight into it is confusing and...well, it just doesn't work. Draco absolutely hates Granger and everything about her, and Hermione absolutely hates Malfoy and everything about him. I know it's going to be OOC making them love each other anyway, but you need some sort of prologue and build up to their love for each other.

You should, however, keep writing! You're very talented, don't let this review get you down. I didn't mean it cruelly in any way. :) You just need to work on characterization and plot a bit.

Keep up the good work!
-Haven

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

I agree. I've been reading other Dramione fics and I definitely need a prologue of some sorts to explain why they suddenly like each other. You've been very helpful, thanks.

Happy Holidays :D
Sophia


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Review #23, by leaney I'm Falling in Love With Who??

22nd December 2010:
Leaney from the forums here!

For your first fic, this isn't bad at all! The first stories I ever wrote are absolutely terrible and I've had to delete most of them! I liked the storyline you stuck to here! It was fun and light-hearted. The switching point of views was also done nicely. However, I found myself a little put off with the suddenness of it all. Hermione and Draco are supposed to detest each other and to go from detesting one another to loving one another so quickly is kind of crazy. To fix this I would suggest adding more action in between? I would add more detail or more explaination in this sudden change of heart. I liked the end, but it also felt sort of out of nowhere. They were flirting and just now becoming comfortable with one another. I think the kiss could've waited but I understand the need for it. As far as grammar goes there's no immediate issues and your flow does fine. Overall, really good work! Keep on writing and keep on developing your characters and the story around them!

-leaney

Author's Response: Thanks for your quick response, Leaney. If I come back to this story and revise it, I will take into account what you've said and change my story accordingly. Thanks again!

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Review #24, by slikravenclaw I'm Falling in Love With Who??

21st December 2010:
Aww the ending is so cute :) nice Banner too

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for reviewing :) This banner was made by Atari @ TDA.

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Review #25, by Pretty I'm Falling in Love With Who??

21st December 2010:
Super cute! Please update asap!

Author's Response: Thanks! This is just a one-shot so there won't be any more chapters. Thanks for reviewing :)

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