Hello there! Krissyanne426 from the forum here with your requested review!
I really liked this! You did a really get job covering the moral aspect of this. I liked lily's reaction to what James was saying. I thought she was a really great character. She was exactly the kind if sister someone like James needs. I thinkshe's really a great character.
This was a great little story. It's definitely something that you could continue into something longer. This would definitely be something that I woukd read if it were continued into something longer.
You did a really great job!
Kristen=]Author's Response: Hey! Sorry it took me so long to reply :(
Thank you, that's great to hear! I'm glad you liked Lily and her reaction to James' actions :)
Thanks! Ack, I know! I just don't know. Maybe I will, someday. Or maybe not. There already seem to be so many sinner-becomes-saint-like stories, so I'm not sure :) But it's good to hear that you think it would still be interesting :)
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hi, here from the forums with your review! i am so sorry it took so long by the way - life got away from me again.
okay, while this was not the sort of thing i usually read, i thought it was a nice moment. there is background there and you hinted at it, but maybe you need to flesh this out again. james seemed a little all over the place, in terms of his character. i liked lily, and i did like james, but i don't know...this seemed more of a friendship than a sibling relationship. i think there needed to be more...i don't know what exactly, but more.
it flowed nicely, and i couldn't see any glaringly obvious grammatical errors. i would love to have seen lily get some sort of...revenge maybe, on james. or i would have liked to have seen james put his foot in it even more. a scene with melissa might have been interesting, just to give the story more meat ^_^
all in all, not a bad job!!
Maji xxAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you! That's alright, of course. Everyone's busy at times :)
Haha, it's not the sort of thing I usually write either, so I'm glad you liked it. Ah, I'll look into that then when I'm going to edit this. James was all over the place? I didn't expect that, really, but thanks for pointing that out. I'll look at that too. The same goes for the siblings thing. Thank you for telling me.
It's good to hear that the flow was nice, and there weren't any really obvious grammatical errors. Well, it's not up to Lily to get revenge on James, or at least, she feels that it's not. You've got some great ideas there! Who knows, perhaps I'll feel like turning this into a longer story some day :)
Thank you, that's great to hear! And thanks a lot for your review! Report Review
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