Nice. I WANT THAT GIFT!
Anyway, this was awesome. Update? Report Review
This could actually be good but some things got me way too distracted to actually enjoy it fully.
First; this shouldn't be qualified as a "one-shot".
Second, the typos (eg.: "Hermione had come in o give Rin and him presens for Christmas"); that can easily be fixed by looking your story over before sending it for validation (I know, I forget to do it so often I feel hypocritical to tell you that!).
Finaly, like I said, the plot is nice but your story could flow a little more; add descriptions, small details just to make sure it's not too telegraphic.
Still, I will certaintly look forward to the next chapters; the idea is good and interesting! Keep going! Report Review
AWESOME STORY I LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES Report Review
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