I HAVE BEEN WAITING MANY MOONS FOR THIS. Also the way you use first person plural in your authors notes makes me feel like I have mistakenly wandered into Jeffrey Eugenides does fanfiction. Meta meta.
I love how they all still act a bit like teenagers despite working at the Ministry. Throwing insults and picking dates for the ball and such. You know, while I'm very partial to an angsty, PTSD Draco, I like this one a lot. He's a pretty immature guy. He cannot say stapler. This has become a parallel head canon of sorts. And I feel a bit sorry for Scorpius to be honest.
I lost it at Blaise going 'all right, longbottom!'
Also draco's five o'clock shadow becoming a small beard. I feel like it is a character in itself so you lose twenty house points for not sufficiently developing the character of said small beard. Except I guess going from stubble to beard is character development enough but this is getting a bit weird so I'll stop.
OH MY GOD SCORPIUS IS NAMED AFTER AN OWL I CAN'T. I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO CAN. omg poor boy. Poor wee lad.
The stapler represents hermione! The limit does not exist!
This was amazing. Thank you for the larfs ♥Author's Response: JOLOO. This is obviously the stuff of meta--I think in a way if you can see metafiction as fiction that makes you think about what it's doing while it does it, then the ridiculousness of this can sort of function that way. Maybe. Yeah?
Yes; this was a really immature chapter and it's the one in which everyone was supposed to have their shaving cream together, you know. To be fair this is probably happening in some three-thousandth dimension.
I'm sorry to have let the house down by not developing the character of the small beard...but there is always tomorrow...
The limit is the line at which readers can be gratified by seeing their two U.S.T.-filled characters unite in lurve. That is the limit.
YOU'RE SO WELCOME. I still remember your review about the mortar and pestle epistle fondly every once in a while and chuckle a bit ♥ Report Review
okay it's just me again but dropping by to say that I want to coin the phrase 'smarm charm' because that is draco. I don't know, I'm really tired and it sounds brilliant in this moment and suddenly I'm reviewing again, how did I even get here.
okay I'm done now.Author's Response: what i have no idea who you are but you're a genius for smarm charm. it's perf. it's brilliant to me too and i'm 100% more lucid than you right now and always ♥ Report Review
LUNA AND NEVILLE WHAT IS GOING ON. OMG LUNA WHO ARE YOU, EVEN.
Astoria was nowhere in sight, and Draco was tired of people sampling his wares for free.
- I think I just peed myself.
"She gotten tired of your dazzling wit already?" Draco smirked, and then hurried away, past the bar, where Blaise still stood sadly.
- I think drunk Draco is my favorite Draco. He's quickly loosening, which is probs not a very good thing. lololol, insulting Oliver as quickly as he can and then running away. And then he calls Blaise a pansy.
"Draco?" Ron gawked.
- Poor Ron, so out of the loop. BUT WHY DOESN'T SHE CALL HIM MALFOY. WHY DOESN'T SHE PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE.
"All right, Longbottom!" Blaise shouted.
- I just made animal noises. Lily, you slay me. I love you so much. ♥ Luna's shacking up with Neville and Blaise's first instinct is to do a fist-bump.
HYPERION. SCORPIUS'S MIDDLE NAME IS AFTER AN OWL.
Omg Lily are you serious, all of this sexual tension and I'm not going to see THE ROMANTIC SNOG. LILY. LILY. LILY. WHAT. BUT. SNOGGING. OR MORE THAN THAT, REALLY, I DON'T MIND SOME SMUT.
Lily I would read this story if it were 59843048 words long. I will probably reread this soon just because the stapler bit reminded me of Draco being a pest and this is basically the only story I love Draco in, and every time I think about it I just want to write Draco.
♥ 10/10 plz write an epilogue just for me in sland where naughty things happen. Will give you cookies.Author's Response: SOROH ♥
This was really a good time to write. We were really intent on bringing back the Draco sass of chapter one. I made Draco more of a squirrel than mah frand wanted at first but when we both bought into it I think the result was pretty gr9. You know, if I may say so myself.
My friend said that a lot of the things Draco had to do in this chapter wouldn't make sense unless he was drunk, so it was the perfect opportunity to border upon crack!fic, which is always preferable to not bordering upon crack!fic.
SHE DOESN'T PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BECAUSE THIS IS STILL A DRAMIONE AND THAT IS PROBABLY THE ONLY REASON
also his undeniable charm
My friend is really good at writing humour. This is all her srsly. Blaise is so good. He can do anything and nobody is like wtf blaise stahp
i CHANGED THE OWL AT THE LAST MINUTE IT WAS BARTEMIUS BEFORE BUT I LIKE THE TRAGIC IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS HAS FOR DRACO'S FUTURE SON BETTER
I NEVER ALLOW THE ROMANTIC SNOG, WILL YOU NEVER LEARN. perhaps an sland edition will occur in future...
I am so happy that you love Draco. Besides me and co-writer and Julia you may be the only one...oh, Hannah, too. But other than these people you may be the only one. Also everyone else who has reviewed and reported love for him, but other than them...you know ♥
I think you SHOULD write Draco. We can have an sland collab, all good times ahead.
-will work for cookies-
♥ ♥ Report Review
AHAHAHA LILY. I've never read one of your older stories but I'm glad the House Cup forced me to read this one. It was so random and awesome in so many ways. I think I died of laughter halfway through this and then came back to life. Draco and a stapler, Neville a receptionist. That's actually epic. No joke. I'm like...sort of kind of not really planning to read on just because there was such great humor in this even though it's olddd and hijacked for the House Cup :P
REVIEWED FOR THE HOUSE CUP 2012 COMPETITIONAuthor's Response: yeah, i think this is the oldest story on my page! the only one i deigned good enough to survive my clean outs :)
i'm glad you were able to come back to life.
i don't quite grasp what you mean in the last sentence but it seems the first chapter was satisfactory for your purposes, and yes, even though it was old. although i'm not sure the age of something says anything about how well it's written or how good it is, we all have magical things occur in our pasts at some point ;) Report Review
Draco rolled his eyes, "Stop talking about your feelings, Zabini. What are you? A Hufflepuff?"
"I heard that," said Ernie from a few cubicle away.
I snorted when I read this. Honestly I'm not even sure what's going to happen with this. If anything is going to happen with this but I'll be waiting patiently for an update.Author's Response: We love Hufflepuffs but, in terms of Draco's immaturity, the territory must be gone to, if you will.
Poor Ernie, right? But we go with it for the sake of humor ;)
It's a wild ride; we're still getting the last chapter written though we know what will happen. I am sorry it's taking so long, but thanks so much for giving us feedback :) Report Review
"Bloody hell," he whispered, "I'm in love with Hermione Granger.”
Suddenly, Blaise poked his head up from the adjoining cubicle.
"About time you figured that one out," he chuckled.
Good grief! I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't disturb everyone else in my house. Draco is hysterical. He is insane. He is adorable. I can't handle him.Author's Response: Draco is cray! I personally don't ship Dramione even on a meteor in space, but, hey, it's fun to write. I think I'm seeing this as more of a parody than my friend is, but both ways I think it works as it's borderline either way.
Hahah thanks so much for the reviews :) Report Review
GOOD GOD! I'm in tears! TEARS! This was hysterical. HYSTERICAL! And now I'm just repeating everything I type out. I can barely make any sense of the keyboard because I'm laughing too hard.
I LOVE DRACO.
He's so bitter and idiotic and smart and bitter and so many other things wrapped up in one. Peasant? Really! Burberry? REALLY! Have a frog? I can't. HUSBAND? HAHAHA.
THIS IS EPIC. This is original. This is clever. This is so getting favorited.Author's Response: Okay, so I cowrote this with a friend from high school, and I will just go ahead and answer on both our behalf's...if that's a thing. Ahem.
Draco is like a child here but we had so much fun writing him. A lot of his energy should be credited to my friend. We loved writing his insults though because they're so stupid but also effective for him, at least.
I'm so glad you liked this, I really hope we'll get more work done on it soon :) Report Review
I LOVE MAN-CHILD DRACO.
Making his hands into a gun and "shooting" at Hermione's cubicle? SO FUNNY. Also bizarre. Which makes it funnier. It's like - what is going on inside his head? Major lulzz.
I also laughed out loud when he stuffed the pillow between them on the couch. And then my husband made fun of me for laughing at things on the internet. And I was like, "Pshh. You don't even know. This story is awesome."
Draco was never a character who made me laugh, and truthfully I always hated him. But with the way you write him, seemingly so effortlessly, I kind of understand him a bit. And even though sometimes he needs a good smack, he's just hilarious! I LOVE what you have done to his character, how you have kept his canon characteristics and expanded on him, aged him perfectly - and yet, he's still this ridiculous man-child. His bitterness, his envy, his sass - it's all brilliant. And HERMIONE. God, you are amazing, Lily. NO ONE writes Hermione well, especially adult Hermione. But when I was reading this, it was definitely Hermione, and that's got to be a tough character to tackle.
Extremely well done. MOAR, PLEASE. I NEEDS MOAR. BALL. HNNNGG. I WANT TO SEE THE BALL.
Also, and my canon-lover-ness is kicking myself for this, I want to flick spitwads at Astoria or something. Unless, I suppose, Ron comes back into the picture and sweeps Hermione off her feet at this ball. Oooo. But if there's no Ron, then Astoria needs to just go away. Like, forever. So that Hermione and Draco can get their mack on and have witty banter/sexual tension.
♥Author's Response: Baw Sarah, this is such an old review :3 Sorry for not responding sooner!
Draco in his craziness is the harnessed power of my friend and I and our collective craziness. You are the queen of cray, if you don't mind me saying, so you understand how it is, some of it's smart but a lot of it is just like...where did that come from?
Well MR Toujours, I find immature humor funny, too, so now you can make fun of BOTH me and ur wifey :P
I was never too fond of Draco either, but mah fran made me think about him because of her overwhelming, redeeming love, etc. I feel like the act of writing his free association really helped me to understand him better because it was just us writing stuff he thought the way he thought it, which was crazy, but good. I feel he's a lot more weird in this story than in canon but he still has that spike of supremacy problem running through his heart and this stunted emotional past that's creating havoc in his life and personal relationships now.
Hermione, well, we sort of took her up a bit more easily than Draco, since she doesn't have daddy issues, so to speak, but yeah, it was a bit scary. Generally, though we at times wrote both characters, my friend wrote more of Draco at first and I more of Hermione, though we melded over time. I don't know if we even had a plan, she just happened on the page.
I'M SO SORRY WE HAVEN'T BEEN WORKING ON THIS :( I know you've been waiting patiently. Also we totally would be approving of you flicking spit wads at Astoria in an extremely mature expression of disapproval.
Ronnikins is quite out of the picture. There will be banter, I don't know about the rest ;)
LOVE YA (h) Report Review
THEY KISSED. GAH. REJECTION. SUCH REJECTION.
Poor ickle Draco. You make him SO humorous in this story, yet he's still canon. It's like you've expanded on him rather than changed him. I just love his internal debating, his scoffing and Mudblood and how he still refers to Harry and Ron as "Potty" and "Weasel" even as an adult. He's such a man-child! I love this. I feel sorry for him, because he's a bit helpless and pathetic, not even knowing when he's in love or who he's in love with and getting irritated by the smallest things. It's such fun. You know who he reminds me of? Hugh Grant in that movie with Sandra Bullock. What's that called? Two Weeks Notice? Something along those lines...
This story is delightful. I can't wait until I read the next chapter, but then again I don't want to because there aren't any more chapters after that. So I think I'll start my whiny nagging early.
Update pleeeaase. :D
♥ ILYAuthor's Response: REJECTIONNN D:
But he sort of deserved in in my opinion! He's a prat, and too forward, but also I feel a bit bad as he's all confused and emotionally stunted and you know, TRANSFERENCE IS HAPPENING. He is definitely a man-child, which is hilarious because I'm a student of German Romanticism at the moment and the adult-child was the ideal state of mind for these people--though I admit they didn't get to that state by having fabulously childish nicknames for childhood adversaries.
I haven't seen that movie but perhaps I'll check it out for some more inspiration :D I am also VERY VERY VERY VERY sorry we haven't been updating, we're separated by most of the state of California and, well, it's hard to get together cause she's off being an amazing club president and fraternity partier and social friendly person and I am eating sugar and trolling tumblr and crying at my own poetry.
BUT THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS SOROH (H) Report Review
OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS.
Favorite Draco portrayal EVER. I love how bitter he is, but so funny, both his internal monologue and his dialogue. It's perfect. You've captured the snotty Slytherin prince we know so well, and given him much more polish. He's truly hilarious. And in love with Luna? Snerk.Author's Response: SUCH A COMPLIMENT FROM THE QUEEN OF CRAYCRAYCRACK!FIC. I remember my dad reading this chapter and being like...so...is that supposed to be the malfoy smarm or something and I was like, LOL because you had left this review saying it was your fave ;) I feel this is posh Draco on magical drugs. Maybe this is because he's in love with...Loony :P
ANYWAY. Thanks for your review dear heart, I hope we'll get this baby finished soon :D Report Review
Darned straight I hate the pair of you right now! I so hate the make the one you love jealous ploy. Sorry for the personal di'atribe; especially as I am so loving your story. Yeah, I did remember; but it reminded me of a real life situation where it backfired. Ow and all that. With much grovelling and stuff; looking forward to your next update.Author's Response: i am glad that you are happy with the story so far but also sad that it has brought up painful memories for you! i will say, though, that draco isn't intentionally making hermione jealous at this point. he doesn't understand that she has feelings for him. . .so don't be too upset with him! :)
thank you so much for the review, we appreciate it! Report Review
"I heard that!" I was laughing so hard when I read this ^^
However, here's your review:
I love it! I really like your style of writing ... you manage to somehow blend a style which sounds quite serious with humour ... that's great!
I also liked the inklings to great (?) psychologist like Seligman and Pavlov ^^
So, basically, I am waiting impatiently for the next chapter!!Author's Response: poor ernie... but yes, i laugh at that line too :)
i'm pleased that you're enjoying the style of writing! it's two of us on this story and my friend and i have /very/ different styles...so it was sort of hard to reconcile them but i think that we've almost properly managed it ;)
yes, as this whole story is dedicated to AP/IB psychology, we put in as many references to psychologists as we could without making it look like OH HAI ONE OVER HERE AND ONE OVER HERE AND MORE MORE MORE OVER HERE!!! seligman and pavlov are two that we can put in without feeling guilty because their work was very cornerstone-y foundational to the field of psych :)
when writer friend and i are reunited again (university has, alas, separated us by many miles) in a couple weeks i'm sure we'll begin to perfect the last chapter, but all i can promise is that this summer, hopefully in the first half, transference will reach a close :)
thanks so much for reading and reviewing, i really appreciate it! Report Review
please continue writing i love your story:DAuthor's Response: thank you! i can't say when the next chapter will be up, but it will be the last one :) thanks for reading and reviewing!! Report Review
Hey, this story was almost dedicated to me! I was an AP Psych student my senior year! But not anymore. Does it count that I'm a psych major?
Reallly like this story, it's funny and way interesting!
Since there's just three stages of Freud's theory, how many chapters will there be? I've favorited this story!
Great writing, minimal errors - you put "What the hell is going on with this third floor on the left business?" - perhaps you meant door? And you asked through "Blaisey" if Luna and Draco were on a first-hand basis now, which I'm presuming you mean first-name. :)
Embarrassingly enough, I totally was guessing what transference was near the beginning of the story, but after reading the chapter I sort of remember but not really now haha. Explain again please? When you transfer your feelings about another person to the therapist/listener/subject? Like when Freud's "patients" would fall in love with him? I'm such a bad student ahaa.
Chapter's great, a bit long, so I'll read the other chapters later. Great work you two!Author's Response: yes, it definitely counts that you're a psych major :) i wish i was, but trying to get out of university in three years doesn't make it easy to be an english/psych double major :P
there will be one more chapter after the last one here. i had to break ego up into two chapters because it was just getting looong. yes, there are those typos...i'm too lazy at the moment to go change them but we will get around to it eventually :)
hm...transference is when you 'transfer' feelings onto someone else. usually it happens when your feelings are repressed and unconscious and you don't feel entirely appropriate about them. in freud's case...well i'm not sure if it's 12+ but it's something about repressed feelings for others that you transfer onto someone more 'appropriate' for your feelings. it often happens between therapists and subjects, yes, although i'm not sure that that's tooo much more appropriate than other forms of attraction :)
nooo you're not! freud is greatly 'crazified' in modern psych circles so it's easy to understand...there are specific units for him i think at my uni so he's something you only talk about like once maybe in class :))
thanks so much for the review and we're glad that you like it!! Report Review
Hey are you going to update soon? It's so interesting~Author's Response: hi!! i'm glad that you think it's interesting!! :D my friend and i are in the process of completing the last chapter :) it's pretty much .75 of the way written, so it should be up within the next month or so! keep checking back though, real life can get kinda busy ^.^ Report Review
I found this just after I'd finished my psychology class on Freud- it's fate! And the valentine's gift exchange but hey! Anyway, I really enjoyed this. It's an incredibly original take on a well-known pairing, and I loved the psychological elements to it- Pavlov's Dogs made me laugh. Your characterisation of Draco is really good, and in keeping of what we know of him. I loved Luna as a therapist- she's perfect for it in a slightly twisted way. And the 'This is my husband' part was brilliant- poor Draco! Your Blaise is brilliant- we know so little about him, and I love reading of him, so this was perfect. Favourite part was probably when Draco was explaining to Blaise what transference meant. Best. Explanation. Ever. 10/10 This is definitely going onto my favourites, and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: hehe i love studying Freud! even if his theories aren't still widely accepted today, i think it's fascinating, especially what he believed about the separation of the parts of the mind and personality :)
the characterization of draco is admittedly much to the credit of my amazing co-writer! i hadn't read many fics starring him, but one thing i'm good at is coming up with stupid insults, so i could attribute to that bit of his character :P
gahk i'm glad you believe luna's character. she's the most OOC i think here...
bahahah poor blaise! i love making him look dumb--uh oh, maybe this is something about me that i should know...note to self: you take glee in presenting characters as dumb!
hehe so glad you appreciated the whole rambling Report Review
I'm actually genuinely enjoying this :) when I first started, I thought it would be hard to get into with all the psychology jargon, but I really like it and would love to read some more.Author's Response: Thank you! We tried to make it as accessible as possible to people who aren't so familiar with, as you put it, "psychology jargon," and even though I think our main explications were a bit muddled (I'm thinking, in particular, the ones that Draco delivers to Blaise about what transference means), I'm so glad to hear that it's not too distracting. Because of differing schedules, Mrs. Draco Malfoy and I haven't been able to meet up lately, but the next time we see each other we'll work on completing the final chapter!
Thanks for taking the time to read and review, and please stay with us even though we might be pokey. :) Report Review
wow he has a problem with chocolate frogs and wow he is funny when he is drunk!!!
Keep updating!!Author's Response: the id pushes passions and desires to the forefront of the mind--his fixations do seem problematic :) thanks for thinking we're funny, we're planning to update the last chapter over our holiday break! thanks for reading a reviewing!! Report Review
Ooh I just love the Draco in ur story! Again, very interesting!!! Love it!!! Can't wait to read more!!!Author's Response: thank you! we try to keep things interesting; it helps that there's an overall motivation--exploring the freudian mind :) thanks for reviewing, we're planning to update over the holidays :) Report Review
Very very original!!! Totally love the idea! I think you've portraited the characteristics of Draco and hermione really well!!! Love it!!Author's Response: thank you for your review! we're glad that you like the idea and that you're pleased with (and perhaps convinced by) our character development :) Report Review
I really like this fic!!Author's Response: Thank you! (We like it too)
and thank you as well for taking the time to leave a response! we should be posting again soon :) Report Review
"I'm going to court her. That is, if she responds to my epistle." - ULTIMATE MOST FAVOURITE LINE EVER. I didn't even know what epistle meant, I was picturing a mortar and pestle for ages, no idea why. Just a mental image of Draco brandishing a pestle at Hermione, screaming about chocolate frogs.
I love the psychology references here. I don't take psychology, but the unfamiliar terms are refreshing, and the plot of this is very original. It sounds like I'm trying to suck up or something, but this is one of my new favourite stories on this site. It made me chuckle like a fool, and my dad's still giving me funny looks.
Awesome stuff (:Author's Response: That is a very humorous image, and really the phonetics could lead pretty logically to an image of a mortar and pestle--I laughed out loud thinking about it and my roommate is also glancing at me strangely.
We're glad that you like the psychology aspect, and that it isn't too confusing :) Don't worry, even if you were sucking up, we wouldn't see a huge problem with that!
Glad as always that you're enjoying the fic; we should be posting again soon :)
thanks for taking the time to leave a response! Report Review
Oh my, I laughed so much at this! Seriously, it was hilarious. I was thinking of writing a 'various Potter characters go into therapy' story for ages, and you've definitely cracked the idea with your story about Draco here. It's so funny! I love how the whole thing starts with a stapler, and he can't even say what it's called properly. I love how he just rants everywhere. I love how he's pretty insane at the moment. I've never seen this angle on his character before and I love it. Love Luna as a therapist too! Love this. Love it to pieces. Moving swiftly onwards to chapter 2 and adding to favourites...
'Maybe you lost it on your way over here...you know, in your hair' ahaha, favourite line! The insults are classic.Author's Response: Thank you! We were just talking about Draco while we were driving to the store and then I thought, he really needs to go to therapy, and when I said it out loud we decided to write a story as soon as we could! We're really glad that you notice all of the things that you've mentioned--we put pretty careful thought into it and I'm glad that it's enriching your experience :)
As the ID is the primary motivater for small children and cavemen, we peppered Draco's thoughts and dialogue with as many child-like insults as we could!
Thanks for taking the time to leave a review! We love to hear from readers :) Report Review
Poor Draco!!! Is it wrong that I still think he's awesome?Author's Response: haha, nope! we think he's awesome, too :)
thanks so much for taking the time to leave reviews! they are always exciting for us to receive ^.^ Report Review
Ha ha! Husband! LOL Definitely adding this to my favourites!!!Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
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