I love the way you ended this! I still have to read And Capers Ensue, but I love how this is set in the same universe. I'll know though that I'll have some intense shipping feels once I read it and James makes an appearance haha.
Great job! :DAuthor's Response: Glad you liked it! It's actually quite odd - the Capers universe spawned from this universe accidentally. I never meant to do it!
♥ thank you for reading! c: Report Review
Awww this is so cute onto the next chapter!!!Author's Response: I think this is /the/ cutest chapter I have ever written for anything ever xD Report Review
I don't know why I haven't read this before now, but I love it!!! You always have the most unique plot lines :DAuthor's Response: Aw, thanks Jess c: Report Review
Please please please please update this I want it I want it!Author's Response: Oh dear, but it's complete as it is! It's just a short story :) There's more to James and Ellian, but that would be in a new novella. Report Review
Hi there! :) Siriusly89 here from the review swap :)
My geography books are scolding me, because I was only supposed to review the first chapter, as I have a test tomorrow, but did my brain listen? Nope! So here I am, three chappies in :P
I love James and Ellian! They are just two normal people, like everyone in the world, but that's what makes them so extraordinary! I just love this so much! You've told a better love story in three chapters, than some write in 13! So kudos to you :) I have to admit, I am a bit of a fan girl, and I do ever so slightly stalk your authors page for new updates. . . . . . . . . but anyway! Enough about me! I want to steal Albus! He is mine! All mine! I know he was only in it for two seconds, but me want! Really bad! And I'm kind of glad in a way, that Ellian wasn't head over heels for James, it gave the story something different! And I just love James' observations :) And Fred. . . . . .. ah Fred, how can you not love him? :)
10/10 of course! xxAuthor's Response: Bahaha, well I'm excited that you got to the end, because then you got to read the whole fic in one go :D And it reads very much like a oneshot in this way.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and it really is a love story, even if it isn't necessarily the normal ending, and hee, Albus' cameo is welcomed, I see.
Thank you so much! ^__^ Report Review
Ouch! That's gotta hurt James, getting rejected. And I was so hoping . . . ah, well, ONTO THE LAST CHAPTER I GO!Author's Response: Oof, the words no one ever wants to hear! Hope you like it! Report Review
James has got it BAD. It was so much fun watching him sweat over Ellian. It's funny how he notices just NOW that Ellian is actually a woman.
It's funny because, he's thinking his dad must have Veela blood because James can convince people so easily, yet he can't convince a girl to go to the Yule Ball with him. Oh, the irony.Author's Response: Bahaha indeed. Terribly unlucky right when he needs that spot of luck :'D But then, Harry wasn't reaaally all that lucky with the girls either! Report Review
Could you be anymore perfect of a person? Seriously, I stalk your graphics on TDA and now I'm going to stalk your writing on here. To be honest, I've heard lots of great things about your writing, but this is the first time I'm reading it.
I really like the beginning of this story. You have such a great way with words, characterization and dialogue. I like how Ellian isn't just a fan girl of James and how Fred is sooo much different from other stories. I really love a good bromance and it seems like Fred and James have one. I can't wait to see how everything turns out. I'll also have to check out your other story. ;)
Everything about this story so far is awesome and I'm for sure going to keep on reading it. Seriously though, stop being such a talent hog. ;)
KristinaAuthor's Response: Waah, hey Kristina! :D I'm glad you like the story so far! I'm totally huge on bromance -- it's basically in everything I write along with stubborn, competitive leads, hehe.
you are wayy too kind ^__^ ♥ Report Review
Ah, James. His stereotypes on dating and complimenting are just too much fun to read.
Once a bloke started describing them with any non-color adjective, it was the beginning of the end — nonsense about pianos and circles and other love-struck poetry.
^ This has got to be one of my favourite quotes. The way you get into James' (quite) blown-up head is perfect...
I kept thinking of Lily screaming at the first James Potter that his head was too big for his broomstick throughout this - which shows how spot on you are, because you remind me of JK.
Also, Freddy in a blazer? Him too? Are you planning to ever write one of your male characters in track pants and a sweatshirt? :)
All in all, this was a great chapter and I'm off to read the next!Author's Response: Bahaha, a few people pointed out that line - compliments to my bf, who likes to tout his vast dictionary of 20 adjectives.
Remind you of JK? I could never! :0 ♥
Bahaha, Fred has always been in blazers and nice coats. He's a man of style. They aren't tangerine like Scorpius likes 'em.
Thank you! :D
Umm is that Ingrid Michaelson? Because I love you. I mean that. I love that.
I am back for the holiday review swap to read one of your lovely stories!! I'm so glad you're participating, I've been reading Capers (probably without reviewing, because I am a bad HPFF-person) and wanted to catch up on some of your others. So here we go!
Warning: I am going to try not to fangirl but I find it really difficult with your stories.
I absolutely love that your fics are driven by the characters' desire to make a profit somehow, whether it's pride, winning an argument, buying out somebody's invention, or coming up with a scheme to make money by researching flirtation tactics. Brilliant! I'm already hooked.
I love that you've got a Next-Gen trio going on here, and that they each exhibit some of the characteristics of Ron/Hermione/Harry, but they also form their own, unique and entirely realistic friendship. "Fred thought that was bollocks, but Fred thought everything was bollocks at first." I really admire how you can describe pretty in-depth character traits within the span of one sentence.
Ahh! I spot a mentioning of Bea! :)
Isn't it Beauxbatons, with an S? I see one or two places where you've forgotten it. Also, I think in canon Durmstrang and Beauxbatons are co-ed, I'm curious to see if you'll be following that or making them a girls' and boys' school, respectively.
I see that you've created another intelligent, wry, opinionated, deadpan, Ravenclaw-esque OC who's just one of the boys. Although these pop up often in your stories I feel like you give them each a different spin, and they're so fun to read. I'm excited to get a better feel for Ellian.
One critique: I feel like James suddenly admitting his attraction to Ellian is a bit too sudden. Not in terms of it being in the first chapter, but we hardly get a glimpse of her in this story, and he seem to view her the same way he views Fred until he sees her flirting. And I know it's that kind of moment that causes you to re-think things, ie. Harry, Ginny and Dean Thomas. We know it's a James/OC from the summary, the Ci and the banner. But I wish that we were given something a little earlier on; even if he mentioned her "bright smile" a few paragraphs ahead.
Hahaha. Your hips. "Your...hair." And I love James's rule about not using any words other than color to describe a girl's eyes. I see now the difference between Ellian and your other OCs; she's not so tomboyish and not afraid to be flirtatious. I love her already!
I also love how upset James is that he's losing to Fred, who wasn't even trying that hard anyway. He must get that, erm, competitive spirit from his mum ;)
Ohhh my gosh. Stop writing such amazing stories, I'm never going to stop reading them and leave this computer! Of course, as always, adding to my favorites. :)Author's Response: IT IS. She makes the perfect Ellian, I can't imagine her in any other way, even though it was so hard to find good pictures.
Wah! Just knowing you've been reading more is exciting ^__^
Bahaha, the whole profit thing is so derived from me. Because I am such a James. I have terrible ideas that I drag everyone into and I'm always finding ways to make a profit, and I would be pretty darned good at it if I actually stuck to something, but I have the attention span of, well, James.
The pacing is a little bit odd in this fic, as most of the information about Ellian and James' relationship occurs in the second chapter, but I've never been quite happy with the suddenness of James' feelings, so your note reminded me to go back and add something - and so I have! :D thanks! And I totally didn't know it was Beauxbaton*s*. Oh dear, I think I have to check everywhere :P
I think I'm pretty doomed to write about girls who hang around boys, because I'm largely more comfortable with guys than girls, and being in comp sci, I hang around primarily guys day to day xD There's a lot I quite like about Ellian even though I don't get to explain a lot in this, since I intended to write a longer fic about them. Number one is how she reacts to feelings. She is so terrible at it, and it's not in an *aww* way, either; she gets this oH MY GOD GET IT AWAY FROM ME sort of fear in her eyes. It's the tops!
James is vastly offended if he loses anything. Unless the winning is whoever loses first.
♥ thank you so much! :3 Report Review
I've been feeling very fluffy lately and this just fit my mood perfectly ♥
I love the idea of James wanting to write a book on love, well I guess not on love. A book on getting girls would be more accurate :P. I also like the setting you put us in. It gives them plenty of girls to try and give it a go with, but then they aren't left with all these awkward hang ons after the girls go back to their respective schools.
I really love you you've managed to write something happy, fluffy, funny without it being too much. I don't care if something is cliche, I don't care if you know how it will end before you start it (not that you writing is any of these) but I hate when something awesome is ruined because it's over the top. And this is the most amazing balance to give me fluffy feelings but not make me feel like I'm oozing sugar.
And now your AN has made me want to check out that story! Your style of writing is lovely, by the way. In case you hadn't yet figured that out from my gushy review.Author's Response: James likes his profit! Book on love or vegetables or what you have, It's totally about the profit. And what with the Yule Ball totally convenient for his purpose, how could he deny fate?
I loveee writing bits of fluff; the cutest things are in the everyday, and I love when my next gen universe is full of dorks. I've been told that my stories give off sugar highs xD My profile isn't kidding when it says baked goods in starring roles (rolls, even).
♥ thank you so much! :3 Report Review
Oh gods, I'm such an awful person for taking, what? Months to continue on to reading this, I had forgotten! *headdesk*
I'm so so so sorry.
Anyway, why did ellian do that?
Did I ever mention I'm in love with James?
Hehe, I think I adore your characterizations, and you put me in such a good mood.
I love how, at 15-16 or something, James is still very much childish and a nice cloak of ego. I've always thought Harry and Ginny would have taken it off him, but you make me want to think of them as overly nice parents that would only feed his ego. He's just so naive and adorable.
And Albus as a Hufflepuff! That is so awesome, I've actually thought of him in the yellow tie do many times but too scared of writing, but you did it just greatly! Shy little boy :3
And Ellian. I love how she also has a crush on James, but is scared of it. She probably thinks it's too good to be true or something of sorts, or maybe she just wants to be in control of everything? Anyway, I think a lot of us can relate to her and I can't wait to read how she deals with it! (I will read it sooner this time, I promise!)
So I don't know how this was before the re-write, but I think you're great at fluff and humor. And that scritch scratch squeak was very creative and funny, it really helped with picturing it all. I think if you could put those sounds in every two chapters you wrote, that's be hilarious.
I'm so sad there's only one chapter left, hopefully I'll get into another of your stories before school starts!
_valAuthor's Response: hee, this whole short story is just silliness and a good time, and I love it for it.
I think James just gets enough ego from himself 8D what did Harry think would happen, naming his oldest son after James and Sirius? This is the scamper who stole the Marauder's Map.
Albus is all Puff in my headcanon :3 Too perfect for words in that House.
It's funny you should say that about Ellian! You'll find out next chapter I suppose. There is something I actually don't ever mention in this story that is very important, but I'll hopefully get to address one day.
Eep, thank you! :3 The characters make it easy for me. Such a charming lot ♥ Report Review
Well then, I think I'm in love with "plot-less". haha
But seriously, your fluff is just amazing. You had me grinning the whole time so thank you! And thank Merlin nobody was watching xD
I loved all your characters. Fred's peculiar mood is very funny, and Ellian's bookishness is lovely. Basically, they're all charming but why I really loved James is because you didn't make him a replica of James I. He's got the Potter charms, but is still all awkward and childish, his own personality.
The whole book idea shows his determination of being foolish without knowing (:P) and is really clever of you as I loved the way you introduced his sudden thoughts and 'protips'. He's just so lovable. And then how he critiques Fred's love dreaminess and then suddenly gets all his crazy symptoms is quite cute and all naive.
I'm definitely going to finish this story (after I get some sleep) because as you can tell from my rambling, I fell in love with all you characters, and did I mention your writing style? It's quite simple so it flows greatly and I'll probably be halfway through Capers before I know it ;)
Hum, just realized I didn't give you any CC. Oh well. Never stop writing! 10/10
Val ♥Author's Response: Aw, thank you! ♥ Hee, I like charming awkward fluff, which probably explains my general cast of people, and also super dorky James. I always preferred his charm to be of that sort - silly rather than suave. And his arrogance extends to thinking that he's all-wise and even if he knows he's not, sometimes he's bigheaded enough to forget that!
I'm so glad you like it, I hope you'll lke the rest! ^__^ Report Review
Loved this story and that it didn't end up with the cliche ending of her just returning his feelings. I like the more complicated version, its more real.
I love When Capers Ensue and can't wait to see what happens there and how it might impact this story too!
Much love to you!Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^ I liked writing something with a happy, fluffy ending -- if not the perfect fluffy ending. Report Review
No lie, I kind of blurted out, "What the hell?" when I first read that Ells didn't return his feelings. My broken heart! How dare you?
But you know, it kind of works, I guess. This whole weird "us" thing they have going on. James is still as sweet and I want him to sweep me off my feet. The way he focuses on Ellian like she's the only girl in the room (even when she is, that's besides the point), it's enough to make any girl swoon - except Ellian, it seems.
This was a nice little story, sweets. I can't lie and say I'm not a tiny bit disappointed in the lack of fireworks, haha, but I think you ended it on the right note. Sorry for the short review - I owe you!Author's Response: SORREH :c it was someone I've known for tooo long and I had no idea how to break it to James nor anyone who wished for all the tied ends xD I really wanted this sort of alternate happy ending, because I love their relationship and nothing's really changed - they're still as close as ever and if anything, growing closer. But there's just no... kissing! xD There may not be fireworks, but there is a lot of mushiness!
♥ thanks so much, Missy! :3 Report Review
So I had this idea of writing you an epically long review in which I proclaim my love for you and your characters (of which, this should come as no surprise considering I propose marriage to you every time I read something else of yours), but to be honest, I'm not sure how I can possibly leave you a long review that didn't simply contain lots of squeals and sighs (of the dreamy, romantic kind) and you know, general flailing about. So basically, you're going to get what you get.
I'm kind of in love with your James. A lot. There's something sweet but amusing about how clueless he is when it comes to girls sometimes, or well, girls named Ellian Cearney. I love how he fights with himself this whole chapter, trying to man up to ask her to the ball, and the convoluted way he tries. Al coming in to ask her, too, was really cute. Potterpuff.
I may have squeaked a bit when James said, "I think I love you." Oh my gosh, can that boy be any more precious? I think not. The whole ending was just awkward and sweet and I was waiting for Ellian to be all bashful and then they could live happily ever after, and then she shot him down. Poor James. I have faith that all will be well and I will get my happily ever after - I just need to be patient, that's all.
See you for the last chapter!Author's Response: I WILL ACCEPT EVERY TIME :3
Teehee, what I love most about James is that he's charming because of his dorkiness, which is a lesser-used quality sometimes in leading men. He is a one-man show.
THE WHOLE POTTER FAMILY IS SO PRECIOUS REALLY :3 well, maybe not Lily. Mostly because i imagine her as both spoiled and take charge and she could probably herd her brothers like sheep (but mostly because they let her).
Ellian does not do bashful! But she does do a lot of fluster ;D
♥ Report Review
Oh my! "One moment of their lengthy relationship" !?!? More please!!! Someday, of course, not now. I can't stand the wait for Capers as it is! You are SUCH a talented writer and it is a total joy reading your stories :) Your characters are so believable and human, ack I love it!Author's Response: Ahh! I'm so glad you like it! I've got so many WIPs lined up; their story has been in my head as long as Capers has (along with even more plunnies!). And ee, that's totally one of the biggest compliments I can get :3 ♥ thank you so much! Report Review
You know, I actually kind of liked this. A lot. There's all this love stories around, but this is... different. One day he just thinks 'hey, I like her' and she's like 'no fireworks. Pity' and they're like 'well let's just be 'us''.
They just quit the drama and got it over with.
And what you say about love is nice. Plus, it was funny. Like, dry humor funny. 'You're beautiful' 'You say that after I'm in my dress.' LOLZ
Anyway, I'll stop before I stop making sense, which I probably already have.Author's Response: Hello again! ^__^ and hee indeed, that's the best summary 8D What I love is that they're the most important people to each other, even if it isn't in a romantic way. I kind of thought of people who say, never want to get married. I like imagining James and Ellian as this pair of life partners, always there for each other :D
Thanks so much! ^__^ Report Review
So wonderful! You really have a gift for picking out the 'ordinary' things in a relationship and showing how there's so much charm and significance even in those. And what a great line/thought this is: "But if he had written it, he would have put only one line: no one knew what they're doing."
I love James and Ellian even though I've only known them for, like, 6000 words. So I hope you get down to writing more of them, and thank you for a lovely story.Author's Response: Eee, that means so much that you say that :3 The plainest seeming things have always been the sweetest for me. Looking back at my own life and all the stories I've heard about, it's kind of amazing how life and love really just a funny story so much of the time and there's so many small stories that fly by if I don't pay attention. If there's one thing I've learned, is that everyone is winging it; some are just better at seeming like they know what they're doing xD
♥ thank you so much for your review! ^__^ Report Review
Oh, beautiful. I haven't read the original version, but I have the brilliant feeling that this one is the one I would love best. Poor James - though his lovely speech about wanting to kiss her even if he couldn't still made me squee. How did Ellian not fall in love with him?!? Still, I love her anyway. She's so much like me that it's scary. I'm glad Albus found two dates - I love him in general, but I love yours especially. I suppose what I'm really trying to say is that I enjoyed reading this, so bravo! (Or is it brava?)Author's Response: I remember the old one was something I wrote in a night and skipped from scene to scene with the most random transitions xD Lots of fun, but had no coherency whatsoever.
Ah, I know, right! I have a full explanation for this in my head, but there was no easy way to dump the info out elegantly. Ellian simply isn't attracted to James. If you asked her if she wanted to kiss him, her full honest answer is that she wouldn't care one way or the other, and she thinks James ought to find someone who would actually /want/ to kiss him. Of course, it's more than kissing, but I thought that was a good measure to use to describe it ^__^
Bahaha yes, Albus has TWO dates! 8D And all right, one of them is his cousin but hey, Lucy knows how to be a rockin' date.
♥ glad you liked it; thanks for the review! Report Review
Awww, it's so cute! All I could do was smile goofily at the computer while reading it. I love it! And I love you. :))Author's Response: Yay! :3 I'm glad you liked it! Hee, I love you too~ Report Review
Aw that was great :) Usually I do root for super happy endings where they both fall in love and live happily ever after, but the way you wrote this is definitely more realistic, and it was still quite a happy ending :) I really liked how when James was rejected at the beginning, you didn't say anything like he was instantly brokenhearted, etc like many fics do. I loved how you said "It didn't hurt as much as make him queasy" because I can really see that happening so much more.
It was really nice to see the progression in their relationship as they both came to terms with it, and leading up to the ball. The dialogue is just great, and I love James and Ellian's characters. By the way, I love how your chapter titles are like a progression! So clever :) Oh and I spotted Bea + Lucy + Albus in there! :D Ahh just a really lovely and sweet story ^_^ Enjoyed it~ and you should write the rest of James and Ellian's story!Author's Response: James and Ellian's story is really sweet on the whole ^__^ It's quite happy all around, but maybe just not the traditional happy ending. As I've met more people, I find that so many of them have funny kind of love stories that aren't neat and tidy, but very interesting and wonderful, and I wanted to tell that kind of story with them. This is just a little snippet though; maybe one day I can tell their full story.
Hee, yes Capers characters making their cameos there 8D Bea went to Yule Ball with Albus; I've always loved that detail about them.
♥ thanks so much! Report Review
That was so cute I made my husband pause what he was watching while I read parts of it to him. You write the cutest banter. :)Author's Response: Bahaha, that's adorable, I hope it didn't pause him too long xD And thanks so much ^__^ Report Review
Yay! I would very much enjoy a sequel to this, thanks. That would be utterly fantastic because I'm still not really sure what Ells and James are - not that they know either - and I'd like to see what happens. And, of course, that mysterious unbeknownst-to-even-her detail about Ellian (dun dun dun...) has piqued my curiosity!
A couple of my favorite lines:
"Ells, you're ruining the moment." "Oh."
"Fancying her was the best decision ever."
...aaand the whole "I don't know" situation after the kiss. :)
Thanks so much for finishing this! As I said, I'd really like a sequel and I think I'll go start "And Capers Ensue" now because I haven't really been into it before. Hopefully I'll like it - if it has a James, I think I should. See you soon with "etc."?
-CatAuthor's Response: Yay! I'm glad you liked it ^__^ It's not really so much of a sequel as their actual story haha. This was just a random moment from their Hogwarts years. They have this sort of not-relationship for many many years, and I've always wanted to write it, because it goes into a lot of the things touched on in this last chapter in more detail, and they explore what they want in a relationship and love.
Bahah, their kiss! First kisses are really just awkward most of the time, and sometimes it's not even bad or good, I think what happens a lot is that it's just /strange/!
I hope you enjoy Capers! James shows up briefly, and he gets mentioned a lot, like the awesome character that is always there in spirit. And etc. should be the next thing I update! ^__^
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Wonderful! And James seems so characteristically James but also immensely likeable. And the basic conceit of the self-help manual is really interesting too. I'm looking forward to the next part.Author's Response: Thanks! :) It's been lots of fun to write someone like him, this huge dork who gets away with everything because he's just so darn charismatic and genuine 8D Hopefully I can finish it up soon! Report Review
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