Loved this chapter. I wasn't quite as keen on the first - it seemed to be lacking a bit of structure... This chapter knew where it was going. Your James is a cutie :)Author's Response: Ah, okay. The second was obviously created sometime after the first, so I'll just pretend I improved a bit ;)
I'm happy you enjoyed it, and especially James! Thanks for the comment :) Report Review
This was a really cute story! I love your take on Peter; the personality you created for him was really well done. He was a decent boy once, one that turned around but he must have been a great guy for a while for his friends to have stick with him and I like that you recognize that.
In your author's note you mention that you had no plan and that this is a lot of rambling. Well, yeah, it is a lot of rambling in some places. There are some littl ebits here and there that are not necessary in order to make the story move forward or keep the action going. You cute therefore cut in some places in order to tighten up the storyline and the flow of the story too.
I enjoyed it a lot and think you did a great job with this piece, especially considering it wasn't planned!
AkussaAuthor's Response: Sorry for taking so long to respond! Life has been crazy during the last weeks, and it's not over yet :(
That's often neglected, isn't it? He was a normal boy once, before that pureblood craze wreaked havoc on so many lifes.
And yes, it probably needs an edit, as it was only the second thing I ever wrote. Next Halloween at the latest ;)
Thank you, reviews always make my day! Report Review
very silly. I thought you did Peter very well, and sirius throwing the shoes was pretty funny :)Author's Response: Thanks, I was going for funny, always good to know the story comes out as intended! Glad you enjoyed it :) Report Review
Hehe, this story was so cute. =) It was really nice to see Peter being written like this! (I have a tendency to write Peter so that people dislike him, as I dislike him myself. =P) He acted like such a little kid, it was adorable! I was smiling pretty much from the moment Sirius chucked his shoe at him.
I only have one thing to ask - wasn't the Shrieking Shack only supposed to be really haunted because of Lupin and his transformations there?
I loved your writing style, you have a very natural way of writing that makes it fun for the reader to see what you've written. =) This one-shot just flew by for me, and it was very enjoyable to read! I'm rather tempted to go and check out some of your other stuff, hehe. ^^
I really, really liked this story! So adorable, hehe. ^_^Author's Response: Hi!
Problem solved! Somehow, my response always got cut after the second word. But review swapping is great :D
Aw, can you see me blushing? That's such a nice compliment :D
I dislike Peter as an adult, too. But I thought he must have been different at some point, if a little naive and not as brave and talented as his friends.
Your question is appreciated, no one's asked about it before. I figured Peter would be uneasy about it and wonder if the ghost stories could be true, despite knowing about Remus' lycanthropy and were he goes once a month; and that James and Sirius would be eager to get in somehow just for the sake of it.
Thanks for that lovely review, it's always nice to find one of those! Report Review
Hey! Here is HarleyQuinn from the forums!
I really enjoyed reading this :))) It was good fun with my favourite Marauders. What I especially like:
1. Characterisation, specifically Peter - I am glad that you made him central to the story, because we rarely hear about him. And during the Hogwarts year, he was just another boy, he was Sirius' and James' friend and I am pretty sure that he also did his fair share of pranking with them. I think you wrote him really well.
2. The Halloween fun - it was a very good idea to make them do the pranking with Muggle items - and you're right, everybody was expecting spells and such to go off, but instead... the pranks were simple yet effective. Lol, Dumbledore enjoyed them, too :)
3. It's all around well-written, nothing specifically to point out, the only thing is that you may add the Briticisms in the language as someone previously said.
Aaanyways, it was a very nice one-shot! 10/10
HarleyAuthor's Response: Wow, what a Christmas gift :D Because, where I'm from, we celebrate on the 24th!
Ok, I am sometimes confused with the American/British words, I'll check it through with that in mind. Thank you!
I'm glad you liked it :) I did not intend to make this from Peter's POV when I planned it, but it worked. And yes, writing this, I also thought he must have been a valuable member of their group, he wouldn't have been made secret keeper otherwise.
Thank you so much for your feedback :D
xxx Leo Report Review
It was pretty good. Light and fluffy and well written, but I do have a things that bothered me. I wish you'd used a few more britishism (trainers vs sneakers and sweets vs candy) to add a more authentic feel. All in all though, I liked it.Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing!
You do have a point with the britisisms, I'll keep that in mind for a possible edit! Glad you liked it in general :D Report Review
I loved this line:
James and Sirius seemed to believe they were starring in a play, gasping and pointing at the things, thus adding to the mayhem and noise level.
Veeery funny story, really liked it!! :DAuthor's Response:
Glad you think so :D
I couldn't stop grinning at my screen while writing it, I was wondering if others would think it's funny too!
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This was really good! I wouldn't have noticed that you had trouble writing James. I thought you did a brilliant job!
I loved this and makes me want Halloween to come quicker :P
Thank you so much! Really, I just had some downers, you just saved my day :)
I'm glad you liked the way James (and the whole story) turned out. Thank you for reviewing :D Not long until Halloween now! Report Review
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