Really good. You had a good amount of details, not to much or too few.
I also liked in the beginning, how you explained everything that was going on before the story and summed it up. It helped to make more sense of the story.
The ending was really sweet. Good job!
Voldemort seemed almost too lenient. I can't really imagine him letting anyone escape so easily when he's being cruel.
9/10
~mugglemania

Author's Response: thanks for appreciation.
Well, this is sort of sequel for 'Riya Potter - Harry's sister?' so actually Riya CAN'T die, that's why Voldemort is lenient.

Keep reading... :)

 Report Review

Wow, Sev must really care for this Potter to make such a promise. I like the way that you've named your main character after your user name. 10/10.

Author's Response: thank you so much for appreciation and the 10/10
Actually almost all of my and 'annie snape''s stories whirl around my original character Riya Potter.

Keep reading... :)

 Report Review

omg i loved this!! i love seeing this aoft side of snape it just broke my heart! although it could definatley benefit from more background info on Ryia

Author's Response: There's a whole story 'Riya Potter - Harry's sister?' about Riya's background... and I'm glad you liked the story.

Keep reading... :)

 Report Review

I was left a LITTLE confused. So Riya is another child of Lily and James but is a fairy? and Lily made Sev Godfather... Then Riya was killed by the Cruciatus, but she could still talk to Sev? Well, it was still very good, though a little short.. Maybe if you go into more details? Like how Riya came into the care of Snape, and her appearence, becuase you mentioned something about a fairy, so I pictured a small, little blue thing wearing a ballet costume... ha ha well, this is still good, so, keep up the work and Happy Writing!
~Hayleekins

Author's Response: ha ha, nice picture of a fairy!
And Riya wasn't killed, she was just tortured, she didn't die.
And I've written a whole story about Riya's introduction... 'Riya Potter - Harry's sister?' go through it if you would.

Keep reading... :)

 Report Review

Nice one-shot. Your writing has really improved. I like how dark this story is! :) I suggest that you fix the spacing (one space between paragraphs) because it's distracting for the reader. Otherwise, your grammar is great, and the story flowed well.

Aether

Author's Response: Thank-you Aether...and thanks for mentioning that my writing's improved. Well, about the spacing.it wasn't my mistake, it happened automatically, though I'll try to fix it.

Keep reading :)

 Report Review