This is meant to be constructive criticism. I don't think your characterisation of Hermione is quite right, she seems to shaken and shy, not the brave know-it-all JKR introduced us too. I really like how you've painted Adrian though, and I can see how his confidence and attitude would attract lots of girls, even if he is a jerk. He definitely seems to be playing mind games with her - and is good at it!
Your writing flows well and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, this story just wasn't my cup of tea. I think a lot of people more into the Hermione/Draco or Hermione/Slytherin would really enjoy this though, and I'll definitely recommend it to others!
megan2u (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: I definitely understand what you mean. Personally, I think people change, I think they grow. I think we react to different situations differently, esp. when someone makes us feel out of our comfort zone. I don't imagine Hermione like this with him when they are together, not at all, but simply in this phase of the relationship. Report Review
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