Reading Reviews for Essence
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krissyanne426 "I'm Italian."

8th December 2010:
Okay, I'm so sorry it took me so long between reviews. I'm wrapping up my last week of school of the semester, and things have been crazy here! I've sat down to do this like three times, and never have quite finished.

I really liked this chapter!

Gemma is adorable and totally relatable ass a six year old. You've got her spot-on for moving to a new place. I know lots of kids who are bitter about moving and all that, and I think you've done a really good job getting her there.

And I really liked her response to Amos. I've never liked him much myself, so to see him as a child and still super irritating was super pleasing to me.

I think you're doing a great job, there is so much potential here! Feel free to request if you update again!

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Review #2, by krissyanne426 Prologue

24th November 2010:
I really liked this!

It's a great prologue, short and sweet. I'm doing this from my phone, and I can't remember exactly what you're areas of concern were in your request.

You seem to be a really descriptive writer, which is something I love. I felt like I knew exactly what was going on and I could see what you wanted me to see. Also, I like that you ended it with a little bit of a cliffhanger. It wasnt too much, but it made me want to continue reading and learning more.

I really liked the mentioning of Sirius/lily/James/Remus also, because it helped relate us to the unknown character.

Great job!
Onto the next chapter.

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Review #3, by NARIS "I'm Italian."

16th November 2010:
You explained the DeLuca's life in detail without giving the reader an information overload, and Gemma seems like such a sweetie.

One thing I would like to point out is that you seem to use 'Gemma' a lot, instead of replacing with 'she'. Using she more often will help the sentences flow much more easily.

Still, a very good chapter none the less. I can't wait to find out what happens next!


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Review #4, by NARIS Prologue

16th November 2010:
I like how you started off telling the story of this muggle couple, then went on to talk about the crazy wizard woman. It's very interesting having a different perspective on things, and I congratulate you on your uniqueness and writing style!

Over all, a smashing prologue! I would definitely enjoy reading more!


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Review #5, by Reyes91 Prologue

14th November 2010:
Hey, Reyes here for your review (meant to review yours before the other story I did; sorry about that),

This was a nice start. It keeps you wondering about this mystery woman and her connection to Sirius, Remus, etc. The beginning bit about that couple was perhaps a bit much, if not unnecessary. To dive into the fact of why they were there and what happened, I thought at first that the story where to be about them.

Other than that, this was good. Your writing style was good and there were no grammar mistakes that jumped out at me (wait... I did find that in the fourth paragraph, you put "the" muttered when I believe you meant "she" muttered. As you can see, I'm pretty much grasping at straws here ;)).

I think you may have a very interesting story on your hands, well done,


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Review #6, by Queen Carina "I'm Italian."

13th November 2010:
interesting start to the story, can't wait to see where you take it. Plz update soon!

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Review #7, by naflower05 "I'm Italian."

7th November 2010:
good chapter!!! update again soon!! =]

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Review #8, by CallusedSilk "I'm Italian."

5th November 2010:
I think Gemma is adorable. Very stubborn. Surprisingly, quite a few kids her age are. It makes for very interesting moments when they know they don't want to do something and so refuse.

Then again, I have a five year old nephew that I think is hilarious, so she kind of reminds me of him a little bit, so I enjoyed it.

Author's Response: thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed Gemma :)

I actually got the inspiration for her from my little niece who recently moved to a different country and absolutely refuses to speak the language.

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Review #9, by iamlilypotter Prologue

29th October 2010:
I think this is a really good start! I'm interested to see the woman's connections with the Potters, Sirius, and Remus, and where this story is going. My only critique is that im not quite sure that all the information you give at the beginning about the couple and his affair is nessecary... overall, though, well done(:

~Renee (imalilypotter from the forums)

Author's Response: thank you so much for the review; If you read again I hope you continue to enjoy :)


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Review #10, by Iulia Prologue

25th October 2010:
Brilliant! I am expecting something great from this story. Bur no pressure:- p

Author's Response: haha well I hope I can fulfill those expectations :) thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by naflower05 Prologue

24th October 2010:
this seems really interesting so far!!! i cant wait to see where it goes and what happens!! update again soon!!! =]

Author's Response: thanks so much! I hope you continue to enjoy :)


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Review #12, by LivingFairytale Prologue

20th October 2010:
Hi there! It's Livingfairytale from the forums with your requested review. Sorry it took me four days to review; life's keeping me busy these days. But here I am, so let's go!

The prologue was short, but very exciting! The way you write and describe things is brilliant. You kept me reading, even though I'm usually easily distracted. I loved every single bit of it. You did an amazing job on this first chapter/prologue. It makes the reader eager to read more. I am extremely curious where the story will go from here, so please don't hesitate to stop by at my thread again; I'd love to read (& review) more as soon as you updated another chapter! You seem like a pretty good writer to me.

Keep up the great work!
-- Livingfairytale

Author's Response: thank you so much for the good review! I really appreciate it and I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)


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Review #13, by CallusedSilk Prologue

18th October 2010:
I am very interested as to where you go from this. Backward? Forward? What is she doing the potion for? What's going to happen? What DID happen?

Basically, I'm just all around stoked for the next update. So glad I chose to check this out. :)

Author's Response: thanks so much! I hope you stay interested :)


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Review #14, by Sophia Starkey Prologue

16th October 2010:
I'm extremely curious to know where this will go.
This is written spectacularly well, and I did enjoy the prologue very much. (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much :)
I have a pretty extensive plot planned out and I hope you continue to enjoy it


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