10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard Chapter 1

18th September 2016:
Hi pookha!
Here I am, as requested, to read and review your story. First off, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read this piece. It's always a ton of fun to discover new fanfics that I might not have found otherwise (there are so many on the archives!) and I have to say, I was totally intrigued by the Charlie/Tonks and Charlie/Luna pairings.

In your post, you asked me to focus on characterization and the flashbacks, which I will certainly do. I have to admit, I haven't read a ton of Charlie fics, but I think you did a great job getting him in-character (he's a bit of a toughie, but with a kind heart) along with Luna, who was so spot-on I felt like I was reading J.K.'s own words. I love how Luna has matured some in this fic (obviously she had to be affected by the war, she was held captive in Malfoy Manor, after all) but still maintains her youthful idealism and optimism, along with her belief in Nargles. (So cute, by the way!) I thought it was also great that you included a little hint as to Luna's feelings for Harry. You know, when J.K. First introduced her in the books, I thought for sure she'd be paired with Harry, so that ship definitely works for me, both in this fic and in my own personal headcanon, lol.

And as far as the flashbacks go, I don't think you have a thing to worry about. The flow of the story wasn't interrupted at all by them. In fact, considering the plot, I think the flashbacks were essential to understanding Charlie's motives and underlying emotions. It was a great idea, therefore, to use the them as a literary device to relay Charlie's previous experiences to the readers and I think they really, really worked for this story, so great job!

Now, I'm being extremely nitpicky here, so just ignore me if this doesn't sit right with you. As always, my con-crit is just my opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt. This is, most importantly, your story, after all. However, the one thing that bothered me slightly was the pacing of this piece. I thought it was just a teensy bit rushed, especially the opening scene between Tonks and Charlie. At first, I was confused as to just when and where the scene was supposed to be set and then, after I finished reading it, I couldn't help but want a little more in order to fully understand Charlie's relationship with Tonks. A quick kiss together didn't really flesh out the characters and their feelings for one another enough for me. The rest of the story had better pacing, but I still think, if you ever wanted to, that you could flesh this out a bit more. I understand you want to try to keep the chronicle of Charlie's love life somewhat compact, but the relationship hopping (first Charlie is with Tonks, then Remus is with Tonks, then Charlie is with Luna, then Luna is with Rolf and so on) could have worked a little bit better, I think, if things were just slowed down slightly. But again, it's your story, so my opinion isn't really important if you are personally comfortable with the pacing. :)

It was a real pleasure to read this fic, pookha. I'm so happy that you stopped by my thread to request a review. Please feel free to come back anytime. I would really love to read more of your work!

Best,
Lee Anne

Author's Response: Ah, Lee Anne, good to see you back. You're one of the ones I remember from eHPF, and I always valued your opinion, so when I saw you had a review thread open, I had to hit it.

I'll answer your nitpicks first. I whole-hearted agree with you that the part with Tonks seems quick and a bit unfulfilled, especially compared to the part with Luna. It stems from how I like to tell a story sometimes, where I like to jump a bit, and then it can short-change a part of the story. It's something I really do try to work on, and having CC pointed out with it does help. CC is always appreciated.

As far as CC goes, I appreciate the CC on the flashbacks, because they are also a trouble spot for me. I really like hearing that they were essential to the story, as that is what I was going for.

H/L is my OTP, but lately I've been moving away and seeing that they probably wouldn't have worked long-term.

And most gratifying of all to me is knowing that you liked the characterizations, because that is what I value the most. I write Luna a lot and I know that so many people are picky about her. I love hearing that she came across as Luna enough and not just a weirdo or a normal, but somewhere in that perfect Luna spot.

Thank you so much for the review and the CC.


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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote Chapter 1

10th September 2016:
Hi Pookha!

If we're being honest I kinda feel like my reviews are borderline boring because YOU DON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING TO CRITIQUE. Mess up a little, won't you?

So the first thing I found that I loved (you knew I was going to start a list...I just can't help it) is this line: "He liked it better than any of the ‘pretty’ faces that she put on from time to time." The reason I like it so much was two-fold. First, it addresses something I hadn't really thought about before. The idea of Tonks having insecurities. When we inherit her in the books she's mostly this funny, strong woman. Even when she's upset because Remus rejected her she still feels very...Tonks about it. I don't have a word for that. Being younger though, she may not have grown into that sort of strength yet and it would be so easy to slip into those insecurities if you could literally look like anyone (I'd probably be a supermodel and never work again). The second thing that really dazzles me about this line is what it tells me about Charlie. He's not the kind of shallow twerp that wants the prettiest girl or wants a girl to constantly "improve" and he isn't the guy that pressures you to fit a certain cookie cutter. He seemed to like her most when she was most comfortable with herself.

I like that knowing she was once his love, probably his first love, and that he's grieving for both of Remus and Tonks and that he's just so happy she was happy. I mean oh the feels. The entire scene with the Fred, with the survivor's guilt, it's too much but in a good way. It's a very strong scene and I like that you included it the way you did.
I think Luna and Charlie are actually pretty natural even though I had never considered them. The dragons and the connection between the magical creatures community as well as her proximity to the Weasley family by being friends with Ginny and Harry just helps the idea even more. We already know that both Charlie and Hagrid feel that dragons are misunderstood creatures so to have Luna say it kinda made me laugh even though it's not a humor based line. It just felt right. The progression to Rolf felt very natural too.

Again, I think that Charlie really nails the good guy thing. He's such a good person with his respect and desire for their happiness. BEST MAN? Oh the pain.

Do I think he'll find love again? Well good things come in threes! ;) Charlie is such a good person and I want him to very badly.

As far as the things you specifically asked about, all of you characterization is on point. It's fleek. It's lit. Charlie is so honest to goodness good, down to his bones, but at the same time the pain that he's feeling is so raw that he's not ~too~ wonderful and through all of it he's not that woe-is-me whining character either. I've read several stories indicating that he was single because he wasn't looking for anything meaningful but I like this much more. Luna was my other favorite for characterization. She's straight out of the books. She's so Luna. I'd argue that the best Lunas I've read have been from you.

I think the flow is natural and smooth. Sometimes flashbacks can be choppy and you have to go back and figure out what the heck is happening but that wasn't at all the case here.

As expected, I completely loved this story and it was brilliantly written!

Author's Response: Oooh, I thought you might like this story. I always thought there was more to Charlie than just a playa like you see in a lot of the stories. I think he's actually a deep person who's capable of love, but just never had the right time or person to show it.

I just told my wife that hearing you say that my Luna is some of the best you've read makes me feel like Freddie Mercury in the famous pose of him with the microphone above his head. That made not just my day or week, but month and comments like that make me want to keep writing even though I don't actually get many reviews (I don't write the super popular ships, so it's part of the territory).

I've always thought that Charlie and Luna would have made a good couple. I don't ship them super-hardcore, but I can see them loving each other, they have so much in common. Ultimately, though I really see Luna with Rolf even though my OTP is Harry/Luna.

Also glad that you think Charlie's angst is good. I hate to write a true Emo whining, angst filled character who is just 'the whole world's against me.' Everyone should have good and bad points.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review. Next time I ask for a review from you, I'll deliberately make some grammatical errors.


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Review #3, by ImaRavenclaw Chapter 1

12th July 2016:
I don't know what to say (in a good way I promise). This is definitely a story I would have never considered in passing, but now that I've read I'm just like "this was good". I think you did a really good job with making an extremely minor character, major, and telling a story for him.

At the beginning I was a little confused on how it was supposed to be Post-Hogwarts, but I get it now. That just takes a little bit of reading to get used to!

I found the Tonks/Charlie pairing interesting, I've never seen it before. I love how you made that a school thing.

I also really liked how you had Luna work at the conservation, so that things could easily be canon.

No no no, don't worry about your flashbacks. I have a whole one-shot of flashbacks and yours transitioned much more smoothly then mine did. You need not fret about them!

Your writing flows beautifully, I love reading your works now, so I think I'll go read some!

Yours sincerely,

ImaRavenclaw

P.S. This was better then Mr. Ted's Picnic :) Thanks for recommending it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I thought you might enjoy this, and I'm glad I was right.

Ah, Charlie/Tonks, how I love it. I can see it having happened at school, but not being able to continue for various reasons, and I think they'd have good chemistry.

Interesting that you thought it was better than Mr Ted's Picnic, I always thought the writing was better for Mr Ted, but I can see how the content might be more interesting here.

Thanks for the feedback on the flashbacks, as well. I feel it's a weak point of my writing, so I'm glad it works here.

Glad you enjoyed it.


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Review #4, by toomanycurls Chapter 1

4th January 2015:
A CHARLIE/TONKS STORY!??!

Okay, I realize they're not going to last but 1. I love stories about Charlie and 2. I adore Tonks and 3. I'm excited by your Charlie/Luna idea.

I really like your characterization of Charlie. He's so kind and good natured with Tonks and everyone else he interacts with. Their scene together is so hopeful and forward thinking until you zoom to her death. i hate you (except not). it's a wonderful clash.

The scene at Tonks' grave is just heartbreaking. You've done such a fantastic job at channeling Charlie's grief and blame that he places at himeself. There aren't words for that scene - just brilliant.

I love how you zoom to new scenes. I enjoy this style of writing and you do it so well.

NO YOU CAN'T GIVE LUNA TO CHARLIE AND THEN PULL HER AWAY. I loved reading their section and then you had to break my heart.

no. he can't be their best man. I won't let him go through that pain. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?!

I am glad that Luna is at least understanding and has words of comfort for him.

Ilike that you end with the hope of a new love rather than showing him completely happy. It changes the tone slightly which gives this a nice end.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind words. I love shipping Luna, but for me it has to make sense, and Charlie actually makes some sense to me.

I always pictured Charlie as either unlucky in love or just playing the field, so this is more an unlucky in love kind of story.

Charlie/Tonks is my second OTP, but it usually has to be unrequited. I also think that Charlie has to be kind and likable so the sting hurts a bit more.

Thanks again for the review.


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Review #5, by Dalek194 Chapter 1

4th May 2011:
Wow. I... I don't know what to say, except wow. What an amazingly insightful, well written, clever and enjoyable one-shot - pretty much the whole story of Charlie's love live told in just short of 3000 words. It's so real, and yet it still keeps brilliantly in with canon, proving you can do seemingly non-canon pairings in a canon story. It flows so well, the style of flashbacks and changing timelines works perfectly, and it was just a joy to read. The grammar was spot on, too, which adds to the experience, though I did spot this;

- "won’t be about defending it ourselves" (no need for an it in between defending and ourselves)

But this is a very tiny and insignificant thing. You've got pretty much everything in there - Luna's understanding of how he felt was so much like her. I've never read Charlie/Luna or Charlie/Tonks before, but this works just so well. Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I adore Charlie/Tonks pairings, but I generally like to keep it canon, which means it can't end with them together. I also had been dying to write a Charlie/Luna piece and I finally felt this would be a good opportunity to do it.

I'm so glad you liked it and the flashbacks and flow. I have trouble writing flashbacks well, so validation of having done okay with it feels great.

Thanks for pointing out the typo and I've already fixed it (benefit of being a TA).

It had been a while since I had a review and your kind words made my day. I guess I've got to get back to writing. Haven't been doing it much lately.



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Review #6, by sunaneko Chapter 1

14th February 2011:
This is amazing, I love Luna and Charlie and I love them even more together. This is tragic, this is happy, and this warms my heart while breaking it. Its beautiful

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this story. Luna is my fave character to write and I knew this story would go Charlie/Luna, but end with Luna/Rolf.

So glad you thought it was beautiful. I can picture them having a very good relationship, but eventually realizing that they're just not 'the one' for each other.


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Review #7, by Marzipan Chapter 1

13th January 2011:
...

^^ That is me rendered speechless by the awesomeness that is the one-shot. You mentioned that this was very similar to what you've written before. This is the first piece of yours I've read, so I can't really say whether or not that is true, but if it is OMG YOU ARE MY NEW LITERARY HERO.

I love everything about this; the way you have it divided into the different sections corresponding to the waxing and waning of his relationships; that you have Charlie Weasley as your main character; THAT YOU PAIRED HIM WITH LUNA; slipping in little details like having Lupin tutor Charlie and Tonks when they were younger; how you are clearly am absolute writing champ and you have written this so that it seems to be so effortlessly genius.

Since you mentioned it, I adored your characterizations. Charlie is wonderful: he's strong, and kind of cheeky, a bit on the reserved side and HOMG MAKES ME WANT TO SWOON. Luna is just as wonderful; she has that matter-of-fact dreamy quality (without going way overboard as I've seen done before), but a bit more mature, more solid which is fitting, I think. Rolf is also well done, very different from what I expected of him (although I'm not really sure what I expected, I think yours is the first Rolf I've read), although I'm not a squee-ish over him. (He did rip my ship apart, after all.)

Your shouldn't worry about your flashbacks, since they work perfectly here. Gives us enough perspective on each of Charlie's relationships that we can fully appreciate what he loses each time without bogging things down. I honestly truly loved this, and will DEFINITELY have to check out more of your stories!

-heart-

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the squee. I appreciate your kind words and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. When I said it was similar to what I had written before, I specifically meant the scene with Charlie over Tonks's grave. I had written a similar scene in a drabble.

Thanks for the reassurance about the flashbacks. I've had trouble with them in the past, and I'm glad this came out okay.

I tend to write one-shots in this format, where it's divided into a few mini-scenes, so I'm glad you enjoyed that.

People really seem to respond to my characterizations of Luna. I think I've got her down now. You're right that too many people make her too strange and she just becomes fey rather than eccentric.

Ah, the ships. I love Charlie/Tonks, and I like to write about one a year or so. I've never written Charlie/Luna before, but I always thought they'd have a good relationship, but not necessarily a long one.

I have this picture of Rolf in my head as a Viking, about 6'4", 320 lbs and with a shaggy red beard. But I also picture him speaking very cultured and not quite posh, but almost.

Thanks so much for the review. Your review made my day at a time when I was fairly down because of RL.


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Review #8, by Elysium Chapter 1

22nd November 2010:
To be honest, at first I was a little uncertain about the segmentation of parts in the story, not so much in terms of the flashbacks - because with them being italicised, it was fairly clear - but between the leaps in time during the present. But by the end, I actually think it worked quite well. It was jolting, but that's sometimes more successfully than slowly trekking from one moment to the next. Particularly because it was pointed, you were showing us the different phases, if you will.

I really like the unapologetic way you showed that love can change, and not because of something drastic or horrible, but because it alters when someone new comes on the scene. It's far more indicative of real life... the mundane and entirely undramatic way that people can fall in and out of love (without someone cheating or dying etc). There was a wistful sort of hopefulness at the end, when you introduced Griselda. It was the perfect foil for what could otherwise have been a rather depressing end for Charlie.

I think your characterisations were well-formed, particularly Luna. You captured her pureness of spirit and her quirkiness in a really lovely way, without going overboard as some writers are wont to do. No mean feat, because in my opinion she's actually one of the most difficult HP characters to pin down in a really authentic way.

You also had some really nice imagery in this piece, simple, but lovely nonetheless. An example of this would be: Their bright yellow robes stood out in the crowd like goldfinches in a murder of ravens.

Very pretty, indeed.

Anyway, overall I think you did a great job :D I always enjoy reading about minor characters because the experience is always refreshing... there's more of the author invested in the character than we get with the more popular choices.

- Kylie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I'm sorry that it took me a few days to respond; work has been crazy and I've been extremely tired.

I appreciate the honest commentary on the flashbacks. I think this story needed them, but I don't think I write them particularly well, so it's nice to hear that these were okay.

I really, really enjoy writing Charlie/Tonks unrequited. I just have a vision of them having been more than friends.

Love is complicated and I really wanted to show that. I don't think Charlie and Luna fell out of love because of Rolf, I just think it was their time. I can picture Luna being more sanguine about it than Charlie and I hoped that came through.

Luna's my fave character to write and I'm always glad to hear that I got her characterization down. I agree that too many fan writers overdo Luna. I try not to do that. On a side note, I find Snape hard to write.

Again, thanks for the kind words and the CC. I really appreciate the time you took to read my story.


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Review #9, by SaphireSmiles Chapter 1

31st October 2010:
Poor Charlie. I enjoyed reading this a lot.
In a way I wish that JK had written more about him in the series, but then you wouldn't have been able to.

As always, fabulous job. :)
The flashbacks were perfectly placed and perfectly written.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I love writing Charlie stories because there's so much leeway to create his character.

Thanks for the validation on the flashbacks, I struggle with them so I like to hear when they're done well or not done well.

I truly appreciate your read and review.


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Review #10, by moonbaby11 Chapter 1

13th October 2010:
This was really good! I have to say, the fact that it was a Charlie/Tonks drew me in, since I love that ship! I thought you did a really great job with this!

I just have to say, poor Charlie! He's definetly one of my favourite Weasley's so I felt so bad for him! I liked hwo oyu followed canon with this, as most people don't really seem to put Luna with Rolf. I'd never really thought about it before, but Luna and Charlie would make a good couple, since they're both into magical creatures and such.

I liked how you characterizaed Luna. The bit you mentioned about Harry was interesting, since lately I've been thinking that there was definetly something between her and Harry, whether it was one-sided or not. I thought that was a nice little part to add in!

Anyways, I really enjoyed this! The flashbacks were fine with me and I think they made the story flow better! Overall, really great! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the validation on the flashbacks. I struggle with them, so I tend to avoid them, but I really felt this had to be told that way.

Ah, Charlie/Tonks is my 2nd OTP after Harry/Luna. I'm glad you noticed how I snuck that in. I've always thought that if Luna had been a character since the first book that she might have been Harry's first kiss rather than Cho. I really think she probably had a crush on Harry, but didn't want to pursue it and hurt Ginny.

I did mostly follow canon, at least in the characterisations. We know that Charlie's a bachelor forever from JKR, so this is all speculation. But, I agree that I think Charlie/Luna is an interesting pairing.

I've written a lot of Luna, so it always makes me happy when someone likes the characterisation. She's my favourite character to write (Snape's the hardest for me).

Thank you again for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it.


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