Heyooo!!! It's SeverusLove from the forums, here with your review. :) (I'm sorry I'm a bit late...)
First off, I think the plot was good. The moonlight thingy was nice, just as the way Aurora was also weird was good. :)
Second, I also think that the characterization was perfect. I don't see any flaw with Xenophilius because basically I don't know Xeno all that well 'xcept that he's weird.
Third, the flow and pacing was good. Not too fast, but not too slow either. Not bad, but not perfect either. It was just...good.
There were a few things confusing though, I didn't quite get the reference to Xeno's Invisibility Cloak. Was that really Death's cloak or did he just think it was, considering it was supposed to be with James? I kinda also got the feeling of pointless convo although I can't quite put my finger on where.
The length was very good. Although it looked long, reading it was enjoyable and not as long as I had originally thought.
The spelling and grammar were good. Although, here are a few slip-ups I've found:
met with silence.( )Aurora was deep
Remember?Ē( )Xenophilius nodded,
It had been just another Halloween night --I don't think this slip-up is significant at all but I just thought you could omit the space before the 'It'...
It come(s) out only on a full moon
a 7th Years student --I think it's '7th Year' and not '7th Years'.
would have stayed for the party to(o), if it hadnít of been a full moon that night. --I think it's better to omit the 'of', although you could just replace it with 'have'...
And Iím sorry that you didnít find you(r) mooncalf.Ē
Her wasnít quite so long --I don't quite get want you meant to say there...'hair' perhaps?
Generally, I quite enjoyed it and think it actually might be better than the fic I'm planning on submitting for the Halloween challenge. :P I enjoyed it and you're welcome to request again,
SevvyAuthor's Response: Gah! A lot of spelling errors! Gosh, I'm so bad with those. (Yes, I was supposed to put the word hair in there :P)
Anyways, I'm glad that you found this enjoyable! I was a little worried about what others would think about it, so thanks for your opinion!
Ah, that was just Xeno being Xeno. It seems in DH that he is really in to the Tales of Beedle the Bard stories, so I thought it would be good to mention that, just because it seemed to fit his character. Sorry that I confused you. :(
Anywhoo, thanks for the great review! :) Report Review
It was definitely unique. No one else has ever written about Luna's parents, so it was good to read something new. There are a few mistakes but none of them really put me off of the reading. You have a good writing style which is interesting and engaging.
I might just go and check out some of your other stories!
Review for your request on NARIS's Reviews.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you thought it was good and unique! :) Report Review
Does Luna know how lucky she was to have her mum there to choose her name?!? I really loved the way you characterized Xeno, really believable in his unbelivable way.
The way they met was just so cute and perfect, I loved it!
The only thing that bothered me a little was the Sorting you gave the Longbottom. But it's such a small thing that it did not make me like the story andy less. Good job!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad oyu enjoyed it and I'm sorry that the Longbottom's being Ravenclaws bothered you. Report Review
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