Very well written! Great flow and I love the story line. You can just picture the Teddy/Emily dynamic. Loved it!!Author's Response: Thank you, that's good to hear! I'm glad you liked the story line and such! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hey it is RandomRed from the forums. I haven't read many Next Gen stories so your going to have to be patient if I come of as compleatly dense. Your description and detail is amazing in this story, I may have said that about one of your other stories as well. If I did then it is save to say it is your thing. Your flow is really good, it doesn't zoom past so I end up confused but I don't get bored reading it. This is the part I struggle at, I don't read Next Gen stories, so I can't really say about your characterisation of Teddy because I have ver little to compare it with so I am going to treat him as an OC. Teddy is so likeable, as the reader I am drawn to him and feel sorry for him. He just can't get the girl. However you don't make the reader dislike Emily as a result which is normally the reaction, I think it was a nice balance. I really like this story. Favorited :). My first favorited Next Gen, I think. RandomRed xxxAuthor's Response: Hello :) Thank you for your review! Oh, okay :) That's alright, of course. Just because I love them doesn't mean everyone else does as well, right? Thank you, that's great to hear! And you may have, so it's an even bigger compliment :) It's good to know the flow seemed good as well, thanks. I'm glad you didn't get confused or bored while reading! Ah, Teddy... I think most NextGen characters are almost OCs, since we know nothing about them, just that they were there. I'm glad you think he's likeable :) It's also great to hear that you didn't dislike Emily and that you thought the balance was nice. Thank you! Oh wow, thanks! :D Now I feel special! Thanks a lot for your review! Report Review
I liked the idea behind the story. Do I like the story? Kinda, It was a little hard to read in my opioin. I didn't know who's POV this was till the middle of the story which got me confussed and the flow was very choppy. Maybe if you went back and instead of all the (,) you made the sentens longer it might be a little better. Sorry that this is not a really good review. I do love the idea of the story though. ~LAAuthor's Response: Thank you, that's good to hear :) Oh, that's too bad. And that's odd, because somewhere at the beginning, Emily's called by her name. Oh well, perhaps it's not clear enough :) I guess I'll have another look at the flow as well then. Thanks for pointing that all out. Thank you for your review! Report Review
Hallo! Well it was a pretty good piece. I like your use of detail and description here and your portrayal of Teddy was also good. All in all, a good read! ~ SD!Author's Response: Hello! :) Thank you, that's great to hear! I'm glad you liked those things, and the portrayal of Teddy. Thanks a lot for your review! Report Review
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