Reading Reviews for Heartache
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Illuminate Heartache.

3rd September 2012:
Hi! Tag!

This is a really sweet oneshot. Most everyone can relate to the feelings that Hermione has, and I think you've done very good characterisation in that Hermione is just resigned to it rather than having hissy fits and storming around like some girls would :)

I think there are some misplaced commas and other grammar issues you have here, nothing major, just things that could be easily fixed :) Other than that, great job!

Author's Response: Hey!
Yeah,I never wanted her to come off as horrible and selfish. I think she would have just stewed in her own thoughts.

Yeah, I used to have a major problem with the comma. That one shot was the first piece I did on here that actually included them properly. The older story I did had about 2 in total.
Thank you!


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Review #2, by slytherinchica08 Heartache.

22nd August 2012:
"Sure, Ron would never be the perfect boyfriend, he would never sing to her, he would never be the most romantic person in the world but he was Ron." I love this bit! I thought it was so sweet and very true that while I can't see Ron being super romantic, he is still him and thats all that matters when it comes to a relationship, the person not what they can buy you or do for you.

With this sentence, " It was insufferable, she though of all the times they had, had together" though should be thought. But other than this one small mistake, I didn't notice anything else.

One thing I really like about this oneshot is that she doesn't get revenge, she just kind of takes it in stride and knows that she missed her chance. I also like that you do show Hermione and Ginny's friendship so that it's not just her and Harry and Ron which is also nice to see as I imagine those two girls are pretty close from all the times that Hermione has gone over to the Burrow and such! Really I thought this was a great oneshot about Hermione and how she felt after Ron and Lavender get together. I had never really thought about how Hermione might blame herself for the whole thing being that she helped get Ron on the Quidditch team.. really interesting! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you, I truly believe that it is the person not what you gain that makes it and Ron growing up with such a loving family lacking in money would be like that.

I'll edit that right now, thank you for pointing it out. :)

I could never see her taking revenge, the birds were just an outburst of anger which everyone is entitled to. Exactly! it is pretty canon as well. Thank you. :)

I am glad you enjoyed it.
Emma


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Review #3, by marinahill Heartache.

25th February 2011:
This was a really excellent response to your challenge. It was nice and unique to write it from Hermione's point of view. I'm not a big fan of Lavender, so I usually avoid writing her completely. I think you did great work with your characterisation of all the main characters here. Really, I find this era impossible to write and I'm really impressed at how well this is written.

I feel so bad for Hermione. I never really considered that it was actually her that sort of started a chain of events that led to them getting together. Very bittersweet in the fact she was only trying to help him out of love and it drove him further away.

Lovely piece :)

Author's Response: Hi!

I don't like Lavender either haha, hence why this is from Hermione's pov. I couldn't stand Lav and Ron together.

Thank you again for the amazingly nice review. They are really maknig me smile :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #4, by gingersnape Heartache.

25th February 2011:
Hello, gingersnape here from the birthday thread! :)

Okie dokie, well I have to say that I was really impressed by this! I don't read too many Hogwarts Era fics, except for review requests, so I don't know how this compares to other Ron/Lavender stories, but I do know that I really enjoyed reading this!

The one thing that really left me the most impressed was how you said so much in not very many words because it's often difficult to get this much across in three or four thousand words. After reading the A/N, I reread the story just to see how you took the challenge into it, and reading it as a Ron/Lavender like that, I enjoyed it even more because I was able to see how well incorporated it was. Anyway, it was really really enjoyable and I am incredibly happy I got the oppertunity to read this, as I wouldn't normally do so, because it was an overall great experience! :)
Have a wonderful day,
-ginger

Author's Response: Hi!

I don't write many Hogwarts Era fics either, I have recently though.

Thank you for the lovely review, it made me smile!
I didn't just want to write a normal Lav/Ron and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't.

I am very happy you liked it and glad you read it
. :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #5, by ThatRomantic Heartache.

25th December 2010:
Again Merry Christmas!

I read this a few days ago and realised I didn't review *facepalm*

I have to put my hands up now and say I'm not a Ron/Hermione shipper, so I don't know this compares to other fics in that ship, but it was quite interesting to read it from Hermione's point of view. I also read your AN and it was interesting to read that the reason you did this was because the ship you were given was Lavender/Ron.

A good fic with a nice concept.

Romantic/Rainy
xx

P.S. I will be doing the oneshot you requested. I feel like I've kind of chickened out of this by simply reviewing and the story you'd like could help me with my multi-chapter fic She's Got the Time, so it'll take place in that universe if that's okay?

Author's Response: Merry Christmashe again! :P
This was the first time I had attempted a Ron/Hermione. I only did it because I couldn't write the Lavender/Ron and decided this would be more interesting anyway.

Thank You.

I just looked back and realised, I gave you very little info about the one shot. If you want to ask anything just pm me at the forums. :)

Thank you again for the lovely review.
Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #6, by kandekisses Heartache.

16th December 2010:
Hey hun, I'm sorry for the little wait there!

Well, this was definitely an interesting read. I liked how you put the twist to the challenge you were given. It was cool seeing Ron&Lavender from Hermione's point of view. &I loved how you incorporated the birds in the beginning.

It's pretty astonishing how you got that much shown through so little words. I couldn't do it, I tend to go on and on lol. You could really feel what Hermione was going through and you couldn't help but feel for her.

The only think I'd like to point out is a couple of grammatical errors I saw. Like when referring to Harry you put 'her' instead of 'he'. &There were a couple misspelled words. Also I think it would be great if you elongated a few of the details to really get that completed picture.

Hope you don't think I'm nitpicking, because I really did enjoy reading this. So thank you for requesting. I think your story is very unique yet still canon. Great job.

Good Luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thank you for taking the time to review, I know what it is like, to get behind on reviews.

I felt like I had to include the birds, to keep it close to canon.

I used to do that so much but now I seem to write less words. I don't know if it a good thing or a bad thing, though.

Whoops. Did not mean to change Harry's gender but I will get to editing this as soon as the queue is up and running again.

Thank you again, you weren't nitpicking just giving CC. I came third!! :D :D

Ginny45/RandomRed
xxx


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Review #7, by angeless7fallenstarsong Heartache.

10th November 2010:
Yay :) Thanks so much for submitting! This is really lovely!

I love the way the story starts. The reader immediately understands what Hermione's going through. The only thing I'd add is some description of the classroom. I also love the way you used the ship I gave you! :) Very unusual take.

"It was insufferable, she though of all the times they had, had together." This is a bit confusing. It should probably be two sentences, like this: "It was insufferable. She thought of all..."

I love your second paragraph. :) It lends a touch of angst to the story, while still being focused enough to make sense for Hermione. And it's good backup for Hermione's feelings.

You also make it easy to sympathize with Hermione, so kudos for that.

This might be random and opinionated, but I think that Hermione would refer to Krum by his first name, not his last.

Your last sentence is a bit confusing. You might want to clear that up a bit; I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say there.

Overall, amazing story! :) Thanks so much for entering the challenge! I'll post the winners asap.

Author's Response: Hey :)
Thank you for the review :)

I sat down to write it and just thought, I hate Ron/Lavender I am such a Ron/Hermione person. So I twisted it. :)

I see what you mean about the description and the sentences and will get right on it.
I hate that loads of people think she is awful for what she "did" to Ron. She was hurt too.

I had not even noticed I had used Krum... My bad. I think the last sentence doesn't sounds right because I put thought and ought so close together. I will change it.

Thank you :)
Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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